GrUeberfest: Before the Hill (1019 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: grueberfest05
Rating: 1.96 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2005-10-21 16:11:26 EDT
Bless me, Father, I have sinned - this is my last confession
For no future act of violence could match tonight's transgressions,
Absolve me of this grief and fear that cuts me like a knife
Bless me, Father, I have sinned - I took my husband's life.
Before the hill he took a knee, ten years ago today
He asked my hand in marriage and I gave myself away,
The autumn breeze swept up the leaves and danced them 'pon the hill,
I never knew a sweeter day, and now I never will.
Before the hill my husband, Jack, he was an honest man,
A woman would be pressed to find a gentler, kinder hand,
Our twin boys adored him, loved him, they found comfort in his arms,
The years flew past and Holy God he kept us safe from harm.
One day before the boys were born my husband said to me:
"Let's build ourselves a cabin on the hill, among the trees,
A little place for hunting trips, or just to spend a day,
A little place where we can go to lock the world away."
A carpenter by trade, my Jack he fashioned quite a place,
When he showed me what he'd done he had a huge smile on his face,
Two rooms like twinnéd princes, each with a silver half a crown
Four walls like wooden bodyguards, the princes to surround.
When man creates he gives up a little something of himself
I fear my Jack gave more than most - I know that now myself.
Our first night spent inside the cabin, our twins were conceived
I think back to that fateful night and all I do is grieve.
Our boys were born fraternal, though they both had eyes of gray,
Like frozen lakes with frozen fish below their frozen waves,
We named one Stephen, named one Mark, together watched them grow
Their lively eyes they watched us back, no hardships did they know.
Three weeks ago I tucked the boys in bed and said goodnight,
I went to sleep and woke to find my husband in a fright,
Jack's skin was damp and pale and his shivers shook the bed
And yet I felt him burning when my fingers touched his head
Silently he stood and dressed, his actions most bizarre
"I'm going to the hill" he said, and ran off to his car.
Two days he spent on Hollow's Crook, the hill we loved so well,
And two days later, back he came, with no excuse to tell,
My husband's former kindness was replaced with hate and spite,
Silently he spent his days, silently, his nights.
Hours he'd spend locked down inside the basement by himself,
Doing God knows what with workman's tools that laid upon the shelf,
Van Morrison was blasted from that basement each and every night,
He sang Van's songs under his breath each day to his delight.
Often he would leave the house, most times against my will,
"It's ok, dear" he'd tell me, "I'm just going to the hill."
I once tried to confront him and was answered with a smack
As I fell I saw his ice blue eyes had turned to deepest black,
I sighed myself a million sighs and told myself a million lies
Pretending not to see his ashen skin, his darkened eyes.
Pretending not to notice that the man I love had changed.
Pretending not to wonder why his mind was rearranged.
Pretending not to see the lock placed on the basement door.
Pretending not to hear him singing while he worked beneath the floor.
Last night he came to bed and laid down, giving not a kiss
And from between his cracked pink lips there came a fright'ning hiss,
Those seven words he sung that night, they sent my heartbeat falling
His quiet rasp: "Ooo-woo-wee, wild night is callin'"
I lay awake in bed all night, paralyzed with fear,
My face I soaked with rivulets of muted, salty tears;
What happened to the man I loved, the man I knew so long?
I sobbed myself to sleep and when I came to he was gone.
Once the children went to school I broke the locked door down,
My knees the buckled instantly from the smell that I had found,
The stink it grew quite potent as I descended towards my goal.
Oh, Father, when I found the source, it shook me to my soul.
The walls were draped with drop cloths that were stained with brown and red
And on the shelves beside me there sat thirteen severed heads
And in the corner, piled, lay their naked, headless bodies
Their wrists taped close together, their flesh black-bruised and bloody.
I flew upstairs, ran out into the misty morning fog,
I felt my stomach empty as I leaned against the wall,
My world fell around me, I fell weeping on the lawn,
And I thought of Samson crushed beneath the temple of Dagon.
A car pulled up behind me and I knew that it was him,
"Hey there, brown eyed girl" he said as he pulled back a grin,
This handsome man whose ring I wear, his grin was no disguise,
He made a motion towards me with the sunlight in his eyes.
I made a motion towards the car and darted back inside
His quick hands gripped me by the hair and punched me in the side
He threw me headfirst 'gainst the counter, my jaw went numb and slack,
I moaned as his fist slammed my face and my whole world went black.
I woke to find it evening, and I woke to throbbing pain
And, waking, found a piece of paper perched upon a stain,
I quickly scanned the note and learned there was no time to linger
For wrapped inside the note there sat a child's severed finger.
Running to our twin boys' room, my mind assumed the worst
Upon arriving I understood that my two boys were cursed:
Above their beds, two severed hands, were nailed firm and tight
Above them painted thick with blood: OOO-WOO-WEE, WILD NIGHT.
I reeled and rocked and stumbled, spots danced before my eyes
But pulled myself together, for my boys sake, if not mine,
I should have called the cops, I know, but instead I grabbed a knife
And raced off towards old Hollow's Crook to end my husband's life.
Before the hill I stood and felt the rain come pouring down
The water, oh, it stoned me as it dropped over the town,
'Neath the cover of October skies I approached our cabin's door,
And saw the dim lit fire from the lanterns on the floor.
The wind whipped up behind me and the crickets they did moan
Then lightning flashed above me and the mighty oaks did groan,
I gripped the blade and crossed myself and entered in the room
I saw the endgame of my husband's plans for our sons' doom.
Both boys were naked, placed together, seated by the stove,
Only each one had the other's head placed on their fresh-cut throat,
Their good hands were both nailed as if upon a cross
To match the crucified remains that Jack left at the house.
Their twin tongues had he severed and placed upon the table
As if, to prevent cries of pain, he rendered them unable.
A voiceless scream escaped my lips as I took two steps back
I thought I'd hit a wall and stopped, but I'd walked into Jack,
He placed his hand around my neck, I didn't stand a chance
And as he started squeezing I heard him sing "Moondance."
"Can I just make some more romance with you" he said, "my love?"
"I wanna make love to you tonight, I can't wait for the morning to come,"
His hold around my neck relaxed, he spun me round to face him
My blade I planted in his chest, I filled him to the brim.
A gurgle scarce escaped his lips before the knife he drew
From out his body, spilling blood from where I ran him through,
He cut and slashed as he advanced, slicing up the air
I backed up to a corner and I found a lantern there.
I held the handle tight
I swung with all my might
His head exploded all in flame
A candle burning bright.
He pawed and clawed his face and hair, hot flesh he ripped from bone,
He flailed for the rainfall pouring right outside the door,
From roaring voice o'er roaring flame I hear his final throes:
"Baby please don't go" he said to me, "you know I love you so"
His eyes burst in their sockets as the flames grew orange and red
He stumbled halfway on the porch and fell so, burning, dead.
With licks and tongues of fire and smoke, the flames spread near and far
I sprinted over Jack's remains and headed for my car,
Through bitter rain and beating wind I raced down through the mire,
A silent prayer prayed in my head for my boys in the fire.
I drove straight to this church of yours, to ease my troubled soul
And I have found some comfort here, but I know I must go;
The police need to be informed of my poor husband's fate,
So please absolve me, Father, for the hour is drawing late.
I was a happy woman, happy mother, happy wife
Before the hill, before the hill, before the hill tonight.
And Father, tell me, please, how I should deal with his lies,
And how to watch the violence that erupted 'fore my eyes,
I beg of you, sweet Father, tell me should I feel remorse,
For my departed husband's soul, his mind so clearly cursed.
I remember coming as a child to services on Sunday
And hearing talk of faithful men who loved their women dearly,
I loved to hear angelic hymns the choir's voice did ring
Tell me while you bless me Father
Tell me one last thing:
Do you remember when we used to sing?
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-14 11:54:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this a while back, and was just so impressed with it I apparently forgot to rate.
I probably wanted to think of something profound to say to do it justice.
I'll just say:
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-14 11:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-14 11:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WAS
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-14 11:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-14 11:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AWESOME
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-21 02:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I got a woman
She rules my house with an iron fist
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-09 23:32:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, mofo.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-08 16:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves so much more attention than it got.
Good shit man.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-31 00:51:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what's Rad's idea?
And the streak, it is a-broken...
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-31 00:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this post should have remained on best ever.
fucking bullshit.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-10-31 00:15:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Even though I would +2 most of these, I think Rad's idea was genius.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-26 23:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ETS...I'll shoot you an email tomorrow, as tonight I'm working on another poem to add to this competition. I'd definitely be happy to help, though.
I dug the lyrics you provided below. Very, very cool.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-10-26 23:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Just, wow.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:46:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a question... I have a song that I've been stumped on for lyrics. If I sent you the recording of the music, do you think you might want to see if anything comes to mind? No pressure, I just think you could do something really interesting with it maybe. It's kinda an odd metre and rhyme scheme. If you're interested, email me and I'll send it: electrictoothsyndrome.at.gmail.com
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My god, this is incredible. This is one of the few things on uber that has ever made my jaw drop. It reminded me of a LOT of great old folk songs...
The Ballad of Hollis Brown - Bob Dylan
http://www.dylanchords.com/03_times/ballad_of_hollis_brown.htm
Down in the Willow Garden (Traditional)
http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/pages/tiWLLWGRDN;ttWLLWGRDN.html
Down on the Banks of the Ohio (Taditional)
http://www3.clearlight.com/~acsa/introjs.htm?/~acsa/songfile/BANKSOFT.HTM
Long Black Veil - recorded by Johnny Cash
http://www.toptown.com/hp/66/longblackveil.htm
My Sister's Tiny Hands - Rennie Sparks (The Handsome Family)
http://www.asklyrics.com/display/Handsome_Family/My_Sister_s_Tiny_Hands_Lyrics/11610.htm
I love songs like that...all bloody and dark...like some monochromatic nightmare.
I'd love to make this into a song, but it would be long.
Here's one I wrote that's in a similar vein: http://www.electrictoothsyndrome.com/songs/Upward_I_Stumble/My_Bloody_Valentine.mp3
If you're interested...here are the lyrics:
In the darkness of the night when the trees are still and quiet
And the moon hides hazy yond the pines,
A spirit seldom seen, with a heart so black and mean
Comes to claim my worried mind.
It creeps without a sound o'er the howling of the hounds
And it whispers in my ear
Temptations, soft and low, like a shiver through my bones,
"Would you kill your sweetheart, dear?"
She was drawing up a pail of cold water from the well
When that voice returned to me,
Saying, "if you push her down, it is sure that she would drown,
And your spirit would be free.
For, there's another down the lane, eyes as sweet as summer rain,
Who's more pure and precious than gold.
If you could have one kiss from those sweet, red, rosy lips
Would you trade your mortal soul?"
Reluctant, I agreed. I would do the devilish deed
If my yearning would be quelled.
Then I crept behind that young sweetheart-o-mine
And I pushed her down into the well.
Then late that very eve, with the howling of the wind
Came a knock that shook me to the core.
It was the woman down the lane, eyes as sweet as summer rain
Who now stood at my chamber door.
Bosom burning like the sun rising at the break of dawn,
her intentions soon were clear.
In a short moment of bliss, with one mystifying kiss,
She had turned and disappeared.
Then all the world fell still, save a lonesome whippoorwill.
I could hear its sad refrain.
It started soft and low, but it soon began to grow,
Like a pounding on my brain.
As I laid me down to sleep, I could not help but weep,
As I thought about the deed I'd done.
I had killed that girl of mine and the devil's concubine
my mortal soul, had won.
That night I had a dream, thought I heard an awful scream
Coming from the bottom of the well.
So, I went and looked down where my young sweetheart had drowned,
Then I slipped and, in, I fell.
And then as I was falling, I heard a voice a-calling,
a-calling out my name.
In the darkness of that place, I am sure I saw the face
That I never wanna see again.
Her eyes were made of snakes, worms were crawling on her face
And her hair of gold had turned to gray.
Like the paleness of her skin, now the horror of my sin
Even Jesus' blood can't wash away.
So, every now and then like a howling in the wind
There's a voice still visits me.
And sometimes in the night when the trees are still and quiet
I can hear my sweetheart's scream...
Submitted by TragicKingdom (user info) at 2005-10-26 21:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whoa......just whoa.....
Very well done, very creepy.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-10-26 08:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Camp, camp, camp.
I think unsettling is the right word, for sure. The whole setting sounds like a scene out of "Little Women" and next thing you know, he's toting around a corpse.
Lo, the consequences of wicked, wicked vanity.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-25 22:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ash - thanks for that. I'd say it's pretty creepy - especially to four year old ears. It's definitely meany for music, as it has that certain flow to it...it almost sings itself while you read it.
I can see it being creepy in the same way I think it's eerie when a movie presents a murder while classical music plays in the background. The presentation is almost too beautiful to accomodate death, so it's unsettling.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-10-25 18:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found it. It is a song, I thought it might be.
Yanno, it was much creepier when I was four.
Ah well, here is a link, sorry it isn't as creepy as I remembered.
<shuffles away>
http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/pages/tiYNGCHARL;ttYNGCHARL;ttYNGCHARL.2.html
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-23 21:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What was that about poetry and Uber? This was excellent!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-23 21:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks.
Do you know if Young Charlotte's online anywhere at all?
Creepy songs and poems are cool in my book.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-10-23 21:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is amazing. When I was younger, my grandma used to tell the story of Young Charlotte. I don't know if it was originally a song or just a poem, but it was creepy. Not THIS creepy, mind you, she wasn't a sadist, but this reminded me of that type of lyrical storytelling. I would give this a +3, if I could.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-10-22 21:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Lisa,
maybe you should try some of this.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-22 19:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Motherfucker. You have well and truly kicked me in the cunt.
You better win this thing! Bravo.
Bastid...
Submitted by crx (user info) at 2005-10-22 17:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
amazing
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-22 12:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well shee-yit. I meant to have Jack hollow out the boys' eyes in the cabin, since the narrator had spent some time talking about them earlier in her tale.
I guess tongue-cutting has its place, though.
Remind me to properly read through these things before posting them.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-22 09:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I imagined us sitting around a campfire as you told this story.
Some folks were taken aback as they sat, simply because the world expects humor or satire when things start to rhyme. but in the end they were all sitting on the edge of their logs.
Brilliant man just plain and simple awesomenss.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-22 07:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-22 01:05:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for your comments on my post.
Coming from you, it means a lot.
*******************
Don't mention it! I'm in awe of anyone that can pull something like this off -- and you not only managed, you pulled it off really well. Thanks for writing it.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-22 00:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me. This was... unbelievable
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 20:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2 for taking a chance with the rhyming style, and for nailing me upside the head at an unexpected angle with it.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 20:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My mouth is agape.
Wow. Just...wow.
This is quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever read on Uber. I'm pretty fucking impressed, let me tell you.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-10-21 18:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most excellent.
Ubermadness is a shitpile compared to this contest.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-10-21 18:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was too good.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-10-21 17:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-21 17:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll bitch about the thing I dislike the most about this, because I don't think it's going to get picked up on: I think the whole Van Morrison thing really doesn't translate the way I wanted it to. I have about six or seven lines that the wife drops in her story that are lines from Van Morrison songs (not counting Jack's quotes, which, after he returns from the hill, are almost entirely VM lyrics).
In the back of my head I was always figuring that the narrator is potentially unreliable, and perhaps she's giving herself away by dropping lines from the very songs her murderous husband listened to in his insanity. Perhaps giving the ol' padre a run through of her story in church before taking it to the cops.
Or maybe she's telling the truth. Who knows? Only God. And the twins. And Jack.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-10-21 17:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-10-21 17:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*gapes wordlessly*
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely stunning.
Submitted by mtgn37 (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pure brilliance
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JESUS F U C K I N G CHRIST!
I'm blown away.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was awesome.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bad
Fucking
Ass.
And it RHYMES!!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn...I thought I had the picture sized right.
Sorry for that.
And if this is a little muddled, it's because it's basically a first run-through.
I love, love, LOVE writing things at work.
Stupid work.