Being Stupid Should be Considered a Handicap. (708 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.78 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Cleanfornow> (View user info) at 2005-10-22 11:26:36 EDT
I am a dumb fuck. Yet, for this, I receive no sympathy. I am a good hearted soul. I did not ask to be born slow witted. It's not my fault I was fed paint chips as a child. I had no control over my Mother's drinking while I was in her womb. Nor did I have control over the numerous times my Father and older siblings dropped me on my head. Both genetics and the environment have contributed to my mental inferiority. How can society hold me responsible?
If I were a mongoloid, or severely retarded due to PKU or something, people would contribute money to support my participation in the Special Olympics. I would be housed, fed, bathed, and entertained without any obligation on my part. If I chose to work, special provisions would be made to find a job simple enough for me (like in Technical Support or the DMV). As it is, I am expected to find a job on my own and support myself. Cripples get wheelchair ramps and reserved parking areas, dumbasses get nothing! Minorities get affirmative action, doinks get nothing! The elderly get social security, pension, and discounts for movie tickets. Nitwits get nothing!
I am just plain stupid as a bag of rocks. As a result I am constantly in trouble. In and out of work. Hooked on drugs, alcohol and tobacco. How do I pay for my vices born of ignorance? I steal of course. And as a numb nuts I get caught. Do I catch a break? No! They throw my ass in jail where the convicts take advantage of my lack of mental fortitude by taking my cigarettes and my dignity. If I were psychotic or insane I would be in some nice padded cell being treated by Doctors. But no, since I am thick as a brick, I am treated as a criminal with intent and thrown in with the general population.
When I am out of jail it is the same thing. I am routinely beaten for taking two parking spaces with my Hummer. I am tired of getting my ass kicked for smiling at foxy black women at the Bay Street Club. My face is sore from being pummeled for having more than 12 items and then paying by personal check at the express lane. The bills are piling-up from the trauma center visits. The knife and gunshot wounds have scarred me for life. I do not blame those who stabbed and shot me, for how did they know I walked into their house by mistake thinking it was mine. How could those dealers know I simply forgot to pay them?
In every way I am discriminated against for my handicap. The best jobs are reserved for those with higher intelligence or superior talent. Common courtesies afforded normal people are denied me just because I don't know better not to fart in elevators. I am taunted for being obese, it is not my fault I don't know enough to stop overeating. I am scorned for my body odor, ridiculed for wearing blue shirts with brown pants. I am teased about my pony tail, derided for cruising through the park on my muffler-less Harley. I am laughed at for wearing floods and showing ass cleavage, ridiculed about my abundance of tattoos and piercings. For god's sake people, would you shake a baby for messing his diapers?
If I were just a little smarter I would get the ACLU to sue somebody into classifying morons as handicapped. But, if I were smart enough to think of that, then I would be too smart to qualify. So I leave it up to you, the good citizens of Ubersite, to take action on behalf of lamebrains nationwide. As you fight for the rights of the weak, the infirm, and the unstable, so should you fight for the IQ challenged
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-24 17:01:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But whom killed him, and why?
Submitted by erinly (user info) at 2005-10-23 02:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fat Tony?
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-10-22 20:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am amused by this.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-22 18:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I respect the honesty. You stupid fuckweed.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-10-22 17:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There are worse things than being stupid... I mean, you could be ugly. Are you ugly?
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-22 17:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There, there, it's ok.
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2005-10-22 11:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, keep it up! Er... I meant, STFU N00B!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-22 11:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+100! Funny, and you should feel right
at home with most people here.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-10-22 11:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorta true.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-10-22 11:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhhh...self deprecating humour.