Cliche (568 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.5 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saffron (View user info) at 2005-10-22 13:46:38 EDT
She became suddenly aware of the burning in her lungs. The crunching of the ground beneath her panicked feet and the thudding of her heartbeat in her ears brought two things to mind. The first was a foregone conclusion; she was going to die. The second, that the experience was shaping up to be cliché.
"Cliché ? Great. That means I have the age old 'Life flashing before my eyes' to look forward to."
It was as if a flashbulb went off.
She was hoping she would have time to disseminate it later. It happened so fast and surely she was entitled to her memories before being wiped from the Earth.
"Jesus, 'wiped form the Earth', I guess it's a cliché because it's true. I wonder if the flash of memory is what we send ahead to Heaven. I can't imagine they would have enough time to do a rigurous background check on everyone that dies. The queue would be eternal. Our experiences shape our memories and I like the idea that we are judged on the things we hold onto. Wow. I don't even believe in God but I believe I'm going to Heaven ? "
She focused on the sound around her praying that the footsteps were not getting closer, that somehow her over-weight, ciggarette smoking, sedentary life-style when jolted with adrenaline would see her to safety. The pain of exertion pushed past her lungs and into her knee.
"Nononononono not now. "
Her knee hadn't given her a bit of bother since middle school. It had been in a brace due to the Osgood-Schlatter and she had used the knee as an excuse to get out of gym and drop off the cross country team. The irony of this was not lost on her as her gait began to change to compensate for the weakening joint. She remebered thinking it was Osgood Slaughter when she was younger and the word slaughter stuck in her head, spelling it out until the word lost meaning. She wondered how so much information could buzz thru her skull in nanoseconds.
Up ahead there were lights. The smell of fast food grease hit her just before she came to the top of the hill, the familiar golden arches rising into the twilight, a beacon of comfort.
She could feel the bile rising in her throat and let out an audible groan, aware that the cliché continued.
She had always imagined she would die at home, alone. No one would notice she was missing. She was single and generally disliked poeple, preferring the anonomous comfort of the internet to the vulnerable reality of humanity. The neighbors would detect a funny smell and the landlord would find her corpse lightly snacked on by her felines.
Her mind busy with random thoughts she found herself moving towards safety, towards a bank, which surely would have a security guard on duty who could stop the man. It sure as hell beat running into a McDonalds and expecting a minimum wage shake-machine monkey to save her.
_______________
It was the last drop of the night. This meant he would be joining the boys at the bar soon. There is simply nothing better than getting your drunk on after a hard days ride. Today had been misty and nothing shook off that soggy feeling like a shot with a beer back. Lather, rinse, repeat.
He wasn't paying attention as he came into the intersection without stopping, nearly colliding with a car that was clearly in the right. He made note of this fact and quickly dismissed it as he swung his bag around and grabbed his U lock.
"Fucking self-important rich asshole. I bet he's chatting away on his cell phone too. Nearly killed me and he didn't even slow down."
He came up out of the saddle to catch up with the offender.
*Kathunk*
"Is there anything more satisfying than the sound of a Ulock on a German auto ? I THINK NOT!"
The driver abruptly hit the breaks and pulled over.
"Oh it is so on."
He reached back into his satchel and pulled out a hunting knife. This wasn't something he usually carried. He had been fishing last weekend. Drinking heavily while camping with a fishing pole was a more apt description, but on previous trips he had found a hunting knife a useful tool. How else were you going to whittle marshmallow toasting sticks to fine points ?
He was expecting a member of the khaki nation to open the car door - some self important middle management type with a cell phone holster and sense of entitlement and outrage that some bummy messenger had dinged "his baby". He was surprised when a moderately overweight woman swung out. By then it was too late for a change of plans, he had already pulled up to the opposite side of the vehicle, knife in plain, menacing view.
"Fuck it. I deserve a little fun and this cunt looks like she deserves a good scare."
He put on his best menacing grin, let the bike rest against the passenger door and began to circle around the vehicle.
The woman moved with more speed than one would have thought for someone her size. He thought about pursuing her, seeing just how far he could plunge that panic button, but the drop and the boys were waiting.
He chuckled to himself thinking about the retelling over beer.
"Fucking land hippo."
__________
Her temples were now pounding out an erratic rhythm and she knew she had nothing else to give. She was becoming myopic and gulping in a large lung full of air, hoped to make the last few feet into the safety of the bank. She thought again of the redundant nature of the universe and the idea that he would reach her, just feet from safety, propelled her forward. She did not want to die a slasher movie death.
She swung the door open, gasping, sweaty and wide eyed. She found the security guard exactly where she knew she would, next to the door.
She nearly knocked down an exiting customer. Her legs gave out for a moment as she stepped into the door and swiveled towards the security guard. She fought back the urge to collapse in a heap at her salvations feet and grabbed him by the jacket. Imploring him for help with her eyes while trying to find the ability to choke out words.
Broken from his day dream and aware that someone was attackiing him, the security guard reached for his gun.
She wasn't sure if she heard the shot first, felt the heat of the bullet or registered the smell of burning. She didn't get a second flashbulb. She simply collapsed into a heap, aching from the exertion of her flight to safety, dimly aware that things had gotten worse.
"Heh, crimson spread across her shirt as the world faded to black....."
And with a gentle release of breath, it did.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-10 05:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Har Har!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-22 18:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Great band.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-10-22 16:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty awesome.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-10-22 16:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
liked this.
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick ass!
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heaven is Non-Linear.
So time does not exist in that plane or dimension.
Heaven is just a word.
Just a word.
For something we don't understand.
And god is a jew with a bag full of gold, or something.