Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"We must become the change we want to see in the world" - Gandhi
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. Why Are Criminals So Dumb?
  2. What India (and Pakistan, ...
  3. Thanksgiving foot-whore, j...
  4. Tell me my hoodie is fabulous
  5. You Can Take Your Virgin J...
  6. Uber Sickfest: So, You'd S...
  7. Fuck You Toronto!
  8. You Can Take Your Virgin J...
  9. What India (and Pakistan, ...
  10. fuck you citibank! (No Con...
more...
Most Heated
  1. Bring Back America: Part 1 (62 heat)
  2. Crazy is as crazy does, or... (58 heat)
  3. You Can Take Your Virgin J... (37 heat)
  4. ATTN: Frank Caliendo (32 heat)
  5. How I Found My ZEN....No D... (31 heat)
  6. It's mah biiiiirthday.... (26 heat)
  7. Shit I'm thankful for (26 heat)
  8. Attn: rubbermaid (23 heat)
  9. Uber Helpline: Baking (cau... (21 heat)
  10. Q: for guitar players (20 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1151305 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (709995 hits)
  3. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (388581 hits)
  4. How To Pick Up Chicks (329502 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (311255 hits)
  6. Knockoff porn movie titles (304734 hits)
  7. My J-Date Misadventure (288818 hits)
  8. Licking A Bum's Ass (253129 hits)
  9. Badass Australian Cows (248977 hits)
  10. Totally Useless Facts (234115 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1475701 hits)
  2. Stanley Moore (1453843 hits)
  3. Razor (1417858 hits)
  4. JMG114 (1395358 hits)
  5. MickGinny (1299920 hits)
  6. loki (1072582 hits)
  7. Jonukah (989697 hits)
  8. Most Hated (938115 hits)
  9. weeeeep (936549 hits)
  10. Cat Crooner Extraordinaire (897251 hits)
  11. Ubersite needs me! (891612 hits)
  12. Abortions Tickle (888868 hits)
  13. Tom (840875 hits)
  14. Sideburns, MUHFUCKA (819786 hits)
  15. Liar Below (778055 hits)
  16. T+I+G+E+R (766612 hits)
  17. oy vey (765648 hits)
  18. Sorrell (753615 hits)
  19. Quitter™ (698618 hits)
  20. Satan is my Motor (698079 hits)
  21. RON PAUL 2008! (694216 hits)
  22. HIDDEN101 (693162 hits)
  23. User Blocked (652575 hits)
  24. Phil Phone (650241 hits)
  25. TTOM88 (639513 hits)
  26. iddqd (629533 hits)
  27. kaos-king (614026 hits)
  28. comicbookguy (613676 hits)
  29. ♥ (590800 hits)
  30. O (586081 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

The Shark Story pt2 (467 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 2 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Hexidecimal (View user info) at 2005-10-22 20:24:35 EDT


Besides the sharks and blowfish and barracuda there were other dangers in the water. Soon as I fell in I felt a sharp pain in my foot. I looked down into the water and saw something shiny at the bottom with half the word Pepsi on the side of it. I had sliced my foot open on a half a soda can. Give a hoot, don't pollute.

I knew there were sharks in the waters around the area but I had never seen one. It had always been in stories told by friends of friends whose brother's uncle's cousin got bit. But here I was in the water, fully clothed, bleeding heavily from my foot. I got scared and turned to reach for the raft. It had floated about 8 feet away from me and the rope was too far above my head now to reach. I took my first swim paddle towards the raft (the curb thing by the fence was too high to reach) when I saw a shape moving towards me in the water. A 5 foot long hammerhead shark.

I tried to pick up my pace and swim faster towards the raft but the shark was closing way too fast. I had maybe another 2 seconds before the shark would be in killing range of me and I was so scared my swimming speed dropped to nothing. I was about to be ripped to shreds by a shark and there was no one around to hear me scream.

So I did the only thing I heard worked on sharks.

I punched it in the nose.

I balled my fist, reared my arm back drove my 8 year old fist directly into the sharks nose. I felt the cartilage crumble around my hand and the shark stopped dead in the water. Well, I thought it was dead.

It bucked and thrashed a couple times and I was scared again. I had just pissed off a shark.

Then I remembered that I had 1 thing left that could save me, my trusty boot knife.

I pulled the knife out of my pocket (the knife was too big to put into a pair of boots my size and I was barefoot at the time anyway), popped off the plastic sheath and drove the knife into the sharks neck. I yanked my arm back and forth and kept cutting until the sharks head came off entirely. This shark had a rather large neck so it must have taken at least 2 minutes, but the adrenaline made it seem like only a couple of seconds.

The shark was dead. An 8 year old boy had just killed a shark. But how would anyone believe me. No one would believe that an 8 year old boy had killed a shark without proof. But I had proof.

I grabbed the severed shark head and swam through the blood red water back to the raft. I threw the sharks head onto the raft, climbed up and sat down. My foot was really bleeding now and this hadn't been the cleanest water in the world to have a sliced open foot soaking in. But I had survived thus far and had planned on making it through the rest of the day, if only to tell my tale. So, I grabbed the rope and pulled myself over to the ledge. First I threw the shark head onto the curb thing and then my rod, which luckily managed to stay on the raft during the entire battle. I climbed up and screamed when I had put pressure on my foot. I gathered my things: tackle box, fishing pole and shark head, and hopped onto my bike.

To say my foot hurt when I placed it onto the pedal is like saying the Great Wall of China is long. The treads of the pedal immediately found their way into the cut on my foot. But I sure as hell wasn't going to walk the mile back home, if only to avoid having my bike stolen.

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-10-24 21:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

God dammit, I hate sharks! They've taken over the Gulf beaches. I have a good friend who lost half an arm to a hammerhead.

Submitted by Hexidecimal (user info) at 2005-10-24 21:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

liquid stitches, it wasnt deep, just bloody

Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-23 00:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

B@#$w

Submitted by monsieurstabby (user info) at 2005-10-22 22:00:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

ouch. did you have to have stitches?


Out at five, catch General Sherman at five-thirty, clean him at six, eat
him at six-thirty, back in bed by seven with no incriminating evidence.
Heh heh heh. The perfect crime.

-- Homer Simpson
The War of the Simpsons