A History of the world, and whats to come. (1111 hits)
Category: Politics -> RepublicansRating: 1.45 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fabit (View user info) at 2005-10-24 06:56:03 EDT
Many of you have noticed the British Ubers have taken a serious hold on Ubersite these days.
It would seem many of our coloniol friends fear a British take over of Ubersite. And with good reason.
In good old blighty we have recently taken a look at our glorious history and had some eye opening revelations.
It is a well known fact the Britain (under one guise or another) has taken part in every single war since the dawn of time. We are a bit like that. But there is good reason. Earth is actually ours. Thats right. There was a bet made in the beginning of time which went thus:
"First one to an industrial revolution takes all"
I think that is fairly self explanitry. It's ours. Thanks.
Now it's a big old task running the globe and we were doing a very good job in my opinion (and everyone elses who matters)but when the Germans got all finnicky and decided to "Forget the Bet" well we had no choice to sort them out. The second time was taking the piss so we sorted them out worse and even let some of you other people have a go on the guns. But two big wars was pretty tiring and we needed a rest.
We gave the reigns to america (our biggest offspring) and took a bit of break for a few decades.
Well it's that time again and we're ready to take back the controls and getting on with building the intergalactic British Empire (which will surely come one day).
Once America kindly passes back control i think we will start by letting our Empire reform. Own a quarter of the Globe is a serious business and i think we're ready for it now, so if Australia, Canada, New Zealand, America, South Africa, Jamaica, India, Hong Kong and the others could all start changing your flags back that would be nice thanks. If you're confused on how to do it (its been a while eh?) then the Falklands will remind you. They have penguins that fall over.
Right, back on track, would you all change your money back too please, America don't worry, we've changed yours for you, so it's bit similar to what you're used to......
All Hail Emperor Fabit
User Reviews
Submitted by sKipB (user info) at 2005-11-29 09:18:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
really really gay
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-10-24 16:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A strangely accurate summary of the western power shifts.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-24 15:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
too late, the Chinks are gonna take over, ask Williamson
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-10-24 15:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*stands to sing heartily*
Ireland, IRELAND, together, standing tall
Shoulder to shoulder
We'll answer
IRELANDS CALL...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If only Bonnie had won, what a beautiful franco world we would live in. :-(
Submitted by GrayGhost (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha! Funny!
Come and take it, fuckers.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:32:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the denomination of those bills are perfectly suited for your country
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My but you kids are truly thin skinned. Keep yer assholes clenched and that upper lip stiff. I'm off to find some other fun on a boring monday morning.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Hush now. Leave the thinking and talking to me, you just sit there and look pretty.
Now, whilst the esteemed Fabit is mindful and aware of all of His Citizens and their Individual Domicile Situation (IDS) it is, of course, implausable for Him to take into account every conflicting factor of every individual into His Divine Plan.
Hence his need for humble administrators such as myself.
Ergo, whilst it is regretful that He cannot maintain Direct Situational Awareness (DSA) of your situation, He is most assuredly aware of your part in the Greater Plan for all of us; His most loyal subjects.
So in conclusion, His words must not be taken as a contradiction on each and every American's god given right to know that they are, ultimatly, intergal to His Divine Plan (as, of course, are all subjects of the British Intergalactic Empire). Fear not for your IDS as we all move forward into a brighter future under His leadership.
Kind regards
Berty 'not a rapist' MacBerterson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#
Erm, my thoughts exactly....
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well speaking as the soon to be installed King of America (coronation live on CNN 31/10/05 - get used to the date in that format too) all I can say is you will soon be revolving around my 'equipment' if you keep up that insolence.
GW Bush best get digging a 'saddam hole'.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No need to get nasty with the obesity thing. If your own youth were well groomed, dentally enhanced and of above average intelligence, they might hope to keep up with the chosen. However, trying to get nourishment from what we would normally bury in the back yard does hinder their chances.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:20:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:16:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
Me? A foreigner? As you well know, the world revolves around america. Since I'm american I can hardly be a foreigner in my own world now can I?
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If the world does indeed, as you claim, rotate around america i can only assume that this is due to the combined weight of your obese youth cause some kind of centrefugal/swinglike action. No wonder the watehr has been a trifle peculiar of late.
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Hush now. Leave the thinking and talking to me, you just sit there and look pretty.
Now, whilst the esteemed Fabit is mindful and aware of all of His Citizens and their Individual Domicile Situation (IDS) it is, of course, implausable for Him to take into account every conflicting factor of every individual into His Divine Plan.
Hence his need for humble administrators such as myself.
Ergo, whilst it is regretful that He cannot maintain Direct Situational Awareness (DSA) of your situation, He is most assuredly aware of your part in the Greater Plan for all of us; His most loyal subjects.
So in conclusion, His words must not be taken as a contradiction on each and every American's god given right to know that they are, ultimatly, intergal to His Divine Plan (as, of course, are all subjects of the British Intergalactic Empire). Fear not for your IDS as we all move forward into a brighter future under His leadership.
Kind regards
Berty 'not a rapist' MacBerterson
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:16:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
Me? A foreigner? As you well know, the world revolves around america. Since I'm american I can hardly be a foreigner in my own world now can I?
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If the world does indeed, as you claim, rotate around america i can only assume that this is due to the combined weight of your obese youth cause some kind of centrefugal/swinglike action. No wonder the watehr has been a trifle peculiar of late.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Me? A foreigner? As you well know, the world revolves around america. Since I'm american I can hardly be a foreigner in my own world now can I?
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:01:32 (#)
Ranking: 1
What is this "Britain" you speak of?
-----------------------------------
Bloody johnny foriegner has woken up then....
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What is this "Britain" you speak of?
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 09:57:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 09:39:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:48:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fabit cannot spell today because he just finished filling his zippo with lighter fluid.
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Berty you're earning your pay already. Good work! The finest imperial hairdresser shall come to chambers at night and pamper you and your glorious locks until you scream with glee!
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She'll need to pamper something else to get me screaming. Although 'she' is a little generous what with her being a he with a mutilated man pussy.
The 'Mighty' Imperial Machine is full of dodgy cheapness and decadent oversight.
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British through and through then..............i love it
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 09:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 09:39:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:48:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fabit cannot spell today because he just finished filling his zippo with lighter fluid.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berty you're earning your pay already. Good work! The finest imperial hairdresser shall come to chambers at night and pamper you and your glorious locks until you scream with glee!
---------
She'll need to pamper something else to get me screaming. Although 'she' is a little generous what with her being a he with a mutilated man pussy.
The 'Mighty' Imperial Machine is full of dodgy cheapness and decadent oversight.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 09:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:48:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fabit cannot spell today because he just finished filling his zippo with lighter fluid.
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Berty you're earning your pay already. Good work! The finest imperial hairdresser shall come to chambers at night and pamper you and your glorious locks until you scream with glee!
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-10-24 09:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As long as you arrange a portraiet of me sat on a horse with a cool hat and unearned medals pointing at some savages with a riding crop. It would be entitles:
"Oh Civility - where art Thou??"
--------------
No problem, you just have to employ the services of the Imperial Portrait Artist, and I will direct him accordingly.
Do you want a King Charles kinda look, floppy hat and red dress uniform?
Should I have 'Oh Civility - where are Thou??' translated into Latin to add that extra edge of civilisation and class?
Chapter one of the definitive History of the Intergalatic Empire will be about you good self, Oh Divine One.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-10-24 09:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So I have to change my USA thong to a UK thong?
I had better log into Ebay
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-10-24 09:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now wasn't that just the best story Grampaw ever heard from his wittle snuggly wuggly bunkums! Yes it was! Yes it was!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fabit cannot spell today because he just finished filling his zippo with lighter fluid.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:55:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
I, Adereterial, holder of several degrees in History and starting another one, do solemnly stand behind the soon to be great Emperor Fabit, and declare that everything he says in this post is divine truth, and so shall stand for all time.
Fabit, can I be the official state Historian? I promise to make you look fabulous for posterity.
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Yes, yes you can. As long as you arrange a portraiet of me sat on a horse with a cool hat and unearned medals pointing at some savages with a riding crop. It would be entitles:
"Oh Civility - where art Thou??"
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:34:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
bmitted by m0ke34 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:50:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
reminscing is fun. I heard that the bet was over fluoride, not an industrial revolution. ; ) ""
save your emoticon, serf, you haven't it in you to offend an englishman.
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Best review EVAR
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bmitted by m0ke34 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:50:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
reminscing is fun. I heard that the bet was over fluoride, not an industrial revolution. ; ) ""
save your emoticon, serf, you haven't it in you to offend an englishman.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WFT we won teh war America is teh roxxors fag britishes all have bad teeth lololololollll!!!!!lmaowtfbrbroflbbq
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by m0ke34 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:50:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
reminscing is fun. I heard that the bet was over fluoride, not an industrial revolution. ; )
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It is impossible to offend the english (unless you mention Lord Darlington) so you don't need your little emoticon.
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:12:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
there's already an ubersite.co.uk, it's a news website that's totally serious. Can have a tower to sit on and pick off american politicians and televangelists with a machine gun please?
ooo! and can you put rosie o'donnel in the compound too? thanks.
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And Oprah, please. And Martha Stewart.
In fact, all American 'chat' 'show' 'hosts' please.
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I, Adereterial, holder of several degrees in History and starting another one, do solemnly stand behind the soon to be great Emperor Fabit, and declare that everything he says in this post is divine truth, and so shall stand for all time.
Fabit, can I be the official state Historian? I promise to make you look fabulous for posterity.
Submitted by m0ke34 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
reminscing is fun. I heard that the bet was over fluoride, not an industrial revolution. ; )
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mandy - You can have Malta if you like?
----------------------------------------------
Damnit I'm half Maltese.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To be in England in the summer, with my love, closer to the edge.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to say I'm quite surprised. The yanks should all be up by now and you haven't had anything along the lines of:
WFT we won teh war America is teh roxxors fag britishes all have bad teeth lololololollll!!!!!lmaowtfbrbroflbbq
followed by a flurry of -2 No Comment
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't it say the same as Spike Lee/Urbane's?
"I told you I was ill"
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am content to be a humble drone in the Burocracy. Nice safe filing systems and homely yet skittish women who giggle when you cum in their mouths.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:28:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
How did you make your head fit in the curved edge?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On your grave i'm going to engrave
"Nathan was not only a hairy bastard - but a funny fucker too"
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How did you make your head fit in the curved edge?
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:05:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo - of course
Mandy - You can have Malta if you like?
----
AWESOME!
When we take over, do we all get Darth Vader suits so we can rule over the collonial serfs? If not, can I do that in Malta? I've always wanted to be an overlord of something
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:12:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually it was a part of our plan. We slaughtered all the dodo's, savage creatures that where responsible for MILLIONS of deaths worldwide and we also made it so Panda's where middle class and bored with sex. Because they where responsible for literally MILLIONS of deaths in china alone.
Before the British empire MILLIONS of people died everyday due to the 'healthy' environment. We beat SmallPox and invented the motor car so as to capture Willy, the man eating KILLER whale (note the name) that killed MILLIONS of people every year.
~~~~~
Well said, consider yourself Imperial Spin Doctor.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
first one to an industrial revolution wins.
most amusing.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand cue humourless turds...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:07:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
"First one to an industrial revolution takes all"
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without reading the post any further I take it you are taking responsibility on the behalf of the british people for the decline of the environment in the last 100 years you fucking polluting fucks.
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Actually it was a part of our plan. We slaughtered all the dodo's, savage creatures that where responsible for MILLIONS of deaths worldwide and we also made it so Panda's where middle class and bored with sex. Because they where responsible for literally MILLIONS of deaths in china alone.
Before the British empire MILLIONS of people died everyday due to the 'healthy' environment. We beat SmallPox and invented the motor car so as to capture Willy, the man eating KILLER whale (note the name) that killed MILLIONS of people every year.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
there's already an ubersite.co.uk, it's a news website that's totally serious. Can have a tower to sit on and pick off american politicians and televangelists with a machine gun please?
ooo! and can you put rosie o'donnel in the compound too? thanks.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Moderately amusing. I may need to change my rating though, depending on whether the reviews kick off as much as I think they might.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:07:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
"First one to an industrial revolution takes all"
------------------------
without reading the post any further I take it you are taking responsibility on the behalf of the british people for the decline of the environment in the last 100 years you fucking polluting fucks.
------------------------
HARK
Hands up who's country wouldn't sign the agreement to lower pollution levels on a global scale, oh look, only America has their hand up.
It's your pollution that's eroding Scandinavia.
When we have no vikings left i'm blaming you!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"First one to an industrial revolution takes all"
------------------------
without reading the post any further I take it you are taking responsibility on the behalf of the british people for the decline of the environment in the last 100 years you fucking polluting fucks.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo - of course
Mandy - You can have Malta if you like?
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
VOTE FABIT!!!!
Can I have a small country when we're done taking it back. Nothing too big, and nothing with too many poisonous animals. Just something green, moderately sunny, easy to manage.
And ubersite needs to be changed to .co.uk
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Chr15 - yes you can
Phuzzy - i'm hoping my pretty face will save me from the -2 backdoor loving the Yanks like to give.
Not a hope in hell then....
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not forgetting the mighty apollo being sent to be Lord Chancellor of Texas.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck yeah Fabit!
You have my vote as prime rib minister, can I be a bodyguard?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-10-24 07:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh sweet lordy lord, you just done kicked up a bucket o' wasps, you did... You're gonna need this good start, china. The Yankees are comin'...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 06:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The picture made me do a double take which is funny in and of itself.