Giving a BlowJob to Mediocrity, yet again. (7226 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.48 on 160 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by badassmofo (View user info) at 2005-10-24 11:38:36 EDT
This is just one of those posts where I ask you a question, you give it some thought, and then you respond.
We've all played along so it shouldn't be too hard to follow along.
For those of you without the ability to follow please refer to www.evenbushissmarterthanyou.com
So now that I've the idiots have left let's get on with it.
<><><>
I have quirks as I'm sure many of you do.
I don't drink coffee. I've tried it a few times but I just can't get into it. I don't like the taste, but I'll drink the shit out of some tea.
I can't stand stuff littered about the floor, which makes this more of an issue now that I have a child. I just can't stand to have to walk around things or to step on things. Truthfully it drives me to frustration and I end up picking up or simply throwing stuff away.
I'm a horrible finisher. What I mean is, say writing or home projects...I can start with phenomenal pace and inspiration but when it comes down to the final touches I lose interest or my mind has already moved on to something else.
I keep cigarette butts in my pocket. Somewhere deep in my mind there is a part of me that won't let me throw the butts on the ground. That combined with learning how to field strip my cigarette butts in the military, keeps my pocket full of old cigarette butts. That is until the wife finds them on laundry day and yells at me a bit for it.
I hate to talk on the phone (I've mentioned that before so I won't really go into it.) especially to men. I never understood why one man would call to ramble on the phone to another man.
I hate flat narrow shoes. This European influenced shoe trend is passing me right by. I have to have a shoe or boot that is wide (to go with my wide feet of course) when I look down at them. I won't buy a show that narrows to the point or has a squared off front, it literally bothers me.
In my mind the arguments to keep smoking pot far outweigh the ones that tell me to stop. That could be a problem but I haven't thought that deeply about it.
I eat one thing at a time on my plate at dinner. Say I have peas, potatoes, and a steak I have to eat one at a time and then turn the plate as I move on to the next item.
I lose respect for a girl if she lets me fuck her ass....that is very odd and seeing as I've been with my wife for 10 years now it hasn't been an issue for a long time. But back in the day, if a girl let me do it I couldn't even speak to her anymore.
I've been hunting since I was old enough to get a hunting license but for the last 2 years I haven't killed anything. The opportunities have been there I just...I don't know...I don't have it anymore. When I go out now I enjoy the sitting or walking, the simple enjoyment of nature, more than anything. I haven't talked to my hunting buddies about this yet and they just think I'm in a bit of a slump.
<><><>
Well I think that is enough for you to get the idea, I'm a bit weird but no weirder than you or you or you.
So what are your quirks, what makes you unique in your behavior?
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Apology +2
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-10-29 10:51:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice pumpkin man.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-29 10:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Come on just a little longer.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-29 10:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No falling off now, champ. RIIIISE!!!!!
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-27 15:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Staying power.
Looks like you have a few new fans down there.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-27 14:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate how I hate too much stuff
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-10-27 14:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have a quirk, it starts wih 'B' and ends with 'adassmofo.'
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is utter crap, you fucking fag.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-10-26 17:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I eat one thing at a time on my plate at dinner."
--------------
That's it. You need to be committed.
For the record, I've learned (and not from personal experience thanks anyway) that women only let men with small penises near the ol' back door. You may not want to advertise how many times you've been down that road.
Submitted by FallenZer0 (user info) at 2005-10-26 16:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I count in German (my first languge). I don't know why, as i'm proficient in English, but i count in German if i'm counting to myself, or even out loud now that i think of it.
quirky? maybe.. obsessive? no.. just second nature i assume.
congrats to you on your 100k hits
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-26 14:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This motherfucker has some staying power.
Submitted by TheFoxy420 (user info) at 2005-10-26 13:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My quirks:
I LOVE coffee. Caught out during Hurricane Katrina (on vacation) When the lights started to flicker-Instead of running to the store to buy candles, flashlight, non-perishables..., I made sure to brew 3 pots of coffee and store it so I will have it for how many days I was going to be trapped. Though I did make a smoke run - passed the candles, passed the flashlights...right to the courtesy counter for some Marlboros. There was no line there =)
I am the messiest person you will ever meet - however I am obsessively clean. I don't care about stuff littered on the floor, but if the house doesn't smell like bleach it's just dirty.
I love cocaine. Not because I have any deep seeded Freudian issues that have been unresolved from my childhood - because it's fun!
I hate fat people. Ok I don't hate them I just have a natural revulsion towards them. I don't care about over active thyroid problems or Hypothalamus's gone haywire if you see your ass is getting too big STOP EATING...simple and affective.
I don't wear 1 ounce of make-up. I am 30 and don't even know how to put on make-up. I do however; have about 5 different shampoo & conditioners in my bathroom along with 3 different facial scrubs and an assortment of body washes.
I require many hours of alone time each week. People think I am anti-social, no I just can't stand to listen to other people's bullshit all the time.
The more people I meet the dumber they get...I hate dumb people. Can't deal with them. I get nasty and ask them 'do you have any fuckin' clue what you are talking about?'
I left my husband b/c he was fat. He is thinner now b/c the heartbreak diet always works best, but I just couldn't imagine myself fucking his fat ass 1 more time.
I am strange, I know, I don't care. Love me - hate me...but at least I don't fake it.
-Foxy
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-26 13:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and apparently I've left the spelling bits of my brain on the couch this morning
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-26 13:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FartSmeller - feild stripping was part of our 'Noise, Light, and Litter' discipline. For feild manuvers mostly.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-10-26 13:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, this is awesome. It seriously is something I could have written, except for the cigarette thing. In the Navy, we always had a nice convenient butt can...
Submitted by Call911 (user info) at 2005-10-26 08:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kent: Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been
causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Homer the Vigilante
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-26 08:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're my new hero, badass.
Submitted by vergedor (user info) at 2005-10-26 07:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I share these quirks:
I'm a horrible finisher. What I mean is, say writing or home projects...I can start with phenomenal pace and inspiration but when it comes down to the final touches I lose interest or my mind has already moved on to something else.
I keep cigarette butts in my pocket. Somewhere deep in my mind there is a part of me that won't let me throw the butts on the ground. That combined with learning how to field strip my cigarette butts in the military, keeps my pocket full of old cigarette butts. That is until the wife finds them on laundry day and yells at me a bit for it.
I hate to talk on the phone (I've mentioned that before so I won't really go into it.) especially to men. I never understood why one man would call to ramble on the phone to another man.
I hate flat narrow shoes. This European influenced shoe trend is passing me right by. I have to have a shoe or boot that is wide (to go with my wide feet of course) when I look down at them. I won't buy a show that narrows to the point or has a squared off front, it literally bothers me.
In my mind the arguments to keep smoking pot far outweigh the ones that tell me to stop. That could be a problem but I haven't thought that deeply about it.
I eat one thing at a time on my plate at dinner. Say I have peas, potatoes, and a steak I have to eat one at a time and then turn the plate as I move on to the next item.
I lose respect for a girl if she lets me fuck her ass....
Submitted by ab363 (user info) at 2005-10-26 00:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I dig the honesty. Maybe someday I'll post a follow-up to this.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-10-25 22:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When drinking I change into a highly nationalistic, militaristic, xenophobic, bigoted, racist.
Moreso than usual.
I have a soundfile on my phone from the last time I was blind-drunk saying "Fuck the jews! Hang em' all... Actually, send them all to Israel to get bombed by the Arabs; If the don't like it they can take a quick detour through a gas chamber! Serves 'em right for being economic and social parasites. 40 billion dollars annually sucked from America to feed their zionist efforts, including nuclear weapons. They're the smartest race on Earth and will be the end of the western world if we don't get rid of them. Us or them! Fuck the jews!!"
I also end up saying the same thing about Americans, Arabs, Chinese and Indonesians. Oh, and fags, liberals and the religious.
That's probably my biggest (and most potentially dangerous) quirk.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-25 20:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2005-10-25 10:31:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Up until four or five years ago, I would argue with myself over which shoe to put on first, mainly because I didn't want to hurt the feelings of any one foot, and it was hard to choose right or left, because ambidexterity prevented me from making an obvious choice. I would literally have my feet talk to each other and comfort each other if one got chosen over another (ten or twenty minutes later)...that's why I stopped wearing shoes...until the fateful day when a rusty nail saved me from being a dirty hippie, and I got slip on shoes from the doctor...Never will I have to make up my mind, because I can put both shoes on at the same time!
____________________________________________________________________________
This is a perfect example of obsessive-compulsive. Except the put down
to Hippies. Fuck thee for that. . .
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-25 20:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love coffee. I stir my food together and eat it like a casserole.
Ass fucking is the shits. Heh.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2005-10-25 10:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Up until four or five years ago, I would argue with myself over which shoe to put on first, mainly because I didn't want to hurt the feelings of any one foot, and it was hard to choose right or left, because ambidexterity prevented me from making an obvious choice. I would literally have my feet talk to each other and comfort each other if one got chosen over another (ten or twenty minutes later)...that's why I stopped wearing shoes...until the fateful day when a rusty nail saved me from being a dirty hippie, and I got slip on shoes from the doctor...Never will I have to make up my mind, because I can put both shoes on at the same time!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 09:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You people are all sinister.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-25 09:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 09:02:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
OK but can I trade 1 flux capacitor for 2 virgin ball washers?
I think this has given me an idea for a post, Berty you are genius!
I'll post it and we can discuss the perfect new world order, well assign cabinet positions and create new rules...we'll be kings once this thing gets off the ground. Kings I tell you.
---------------
die
Submitted by VengefulDaddy (user info) at 2005-10-25 09:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always switch between all food items on my plate (e.g., bite of corn, bite of steak, bite of potato), the goal being to end up with exactly one bite of each remaining before I clear the plate.
I wash myself top to bottom in the shower (face to feet), but I wash my hair last.
I have a peeve about how dishwashers are loaded. You put dirty glasses at the front of the rack before the back part is loaded--I'll kill you. You deposit multiple spoons into the basket in such a way that their business ends are stacked as they would be in a silverware drawer--I'll dismember you. You load in large pots or pans that take up enough space for half a dozen plates--I'll rip out your eyes and shove them up your ass.
Speaking of appliances, I also get violent when people put the soap in AFTER loading clothes into a washing machine. Soap comes first, dammit.
You know how many breakfast cereals are marketed for their crunchyness? Fuck that. I always let my cereal get soggy with milk before I eat it. I think it stems from a bad experience I had with Capt'n Crunch as a child, where the cereal carved the roof of my mouth into a bloody pulp. Also, I never eat cereal for breakfast--it's a pre-bedtime snack.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 09:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright then.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 09:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK but can I trade 1 flux capacitor for 2 virgin ball washers?
I think this has given me an idea for a post, Berty you are genius!
I'll post it and we can discuss the perfect new world order, well assign cabinet positions and create new rules...we'll be kings once this thing gets off the ground. Kings I tell you.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:56:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
This sounds wonderful so far.
What about cleaning - will we use some sort of chamber or will we be afforded a chamber of women to clean us?
---------------
You'll clean yourself. You aren't an invalid, in fact you'll be able to run at 88mph and have a built in flux capacitor and move really fast and accuratly so you can shower in no time. Your skin will be hyper sensitive also so haaving a shower will feel like a spiritual experience.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This sounds wonderful so far.
What about cleaning - will we use some sort of chamber or will we be afforded a chamber of women to clean us?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:47:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like pickles.
How are the pickles in this new world order?
Do they go good with the sandwiches?
Do we have to put butter on our sandwiches in the NWO?
THESE ARE THE PRESSING QUESTIONS.
----------
There will be pickles, genetically enhanced pickles. You'll be able to live off pickles and you will have to put butter on bread but a machine will be provided to do it for you, all you'll have to do is ask for it.
"Buttered bread, I choose you!" or something.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:44:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
should I start jerking off in a cup now?
-----------
We'll only be eligable for dodgy cyber gubbins and will eventually be kept as pets/playthings by the vastly superiour younger generation.
I'm going to be a sex toy for young girls called Berty the Lovable Bed Bug.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like pickles.
How are the pickles in this new world order?
Do they go good with the sandwiches?
Do we have to put butter on our sandwiches in the NWO?
THESE ARE THE PRESSING QUESTIONS.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
should I start jerking off in a cup now?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:32:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
I know, I just like the colors.
-----------
You're gonna love the new world order man. We're going to have total freedom of informations and no-one will ever need to do housework again. Your bed will change it's own sheets and maybe one day we will all become pure energy and explore the cosmos as a ray of light.
But step 1: Genetically engineered, Cyber enhanced, mega babies.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know, I just like the colors.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:22:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
If that's the case then I want to be Camoflauge, preferably DigiCam.
Side note....am I the only one that sees the irony in the title of this post sitting atop the most heated list?
------------
Shut up dude, you'll break the spell.
You won't be able to fool anything except pigeons, we'll all have chips in our heads to give us telepathic powers, thus erradicating misunderstanding.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If that's the case then I want to be Camoflauge, preferably DigiCam.
Side note....am I the only one that sees the irony in the title of this post sitting atop the most heated list?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:16:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'llbe getting blacker and they'll be getting whiter. I'm rather hoping for colour changing skin actally. That way I can be blue.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Does that mean I'll be getting blacker or the blacks will be getting whiter or won't it matter?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 08:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We will still belong to soverign nations however in time the cultural differences between us will break down and such distinctions will become largely irrelevant.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 07:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In this vision of yours Berty, will we all become on unified nation or will we still maintain our borders?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 07:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 07:15:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well then sir, I can only hope to be more Berty-isk in the future.
-----------
One day everyone will be like me. Once I figure out the complications I shall write a series of books and campaign for a new order of things. We shall all be taught self-knowledge and enlightenment. We shall all be taught about compassion and the essence of feeling. Everyone will understand why they feel the things they feel and they will be unashamed.
It will be the reversal of the curse of Eden, with all of the benefits of Man's knowledge. It will be the dawning of a new age of man. A golden age.
Step 1: Genetically engineered, cyber enhanced, mega babies.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 07:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
an odd note on the eating thing...it doesn't apply all the time.
It rather depends on what I am eating. Say it's Corned Beef and cabbage and potatoes...I'll mix that all together and eat it at once.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 07:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well then sir, I can only hope to be more Berty-isk in the future.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 07:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a slob, I'm not weird in any way whatsoever.
Any display of frivolity or eccentricity is forced because I am really a very dull person.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 07:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty - its ok mate, we'll not look differently at you if you have flaws...we all do.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 06:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm actually rather offended. I am a humble man, a simple man who lives modestly and inoffensivly.
Why must everyone assume I am some kind of highly charged, eccentric, buffoon? I'm not.
Not really.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-25 06:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been hunting since I was old enough to get a hunting license but for the last 2 years I haven't killed anything. The opportunities have been there I just...I don't know...I don't have it anymore. When I go out now I enjoy the sitting or walking, the simple enjoyment of nature, more than anything. I haven't talked to my hunting buddies about this yet and they just think I'm in a bit of a slump.
============================
YOU TREEHUGGING FUCKING DIRTY HIPPIE BASTARD.
are you still angry with me?
*kisses*
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-25 06:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty - come on now man, I find it hard that you of all people have no quirks.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-25 04:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are all nutters. Every last one of you.
Berty isn't a nutter though, no siree Bob! I don't have any weird food hang ups, I can crap in a bowel even if there is already crap in it, I'm not weird about anything at all.
The grey duffel coat of OCD does not hang in my psychic wardrobe.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-10-25 02:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only ever eat one thing at a time too and if the food touches...well, that's trouble.
When I'm at the computer late at night (like right now, for instance) I'll look over my shoulder at the door, because I think someone is always about to come in and disturb me. I look at the door once every minute and a half, probably.
This one involves driving, so maybe someone can relate. When someone takes an ENTIRE merge lane to merge, that pisses me off. I mean, REALLY pisses me off. When you're merging, you take the openings you have; you don't wait until the lane ends. You just fucking go.
I don't do this any more, but a few years ago, I'd count how many steps I'd take in a day. An entire day. If I lost track, I'd just start over. It was a constant thing and I have no idea why I did it.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-25 00:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:08:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
If I buy a book, magazine, CD, DVD, etc. - anything typically sold in mass quantities - I'll always pick the second or third one on the rack and never the first one. For some reason, I think I'm purchasing the one that hasn't been repeatedly flipped through, handled, or what have you.
---------------------------------------
Agreed! And I do it with milk too.
My apologies for the multiple ratings.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-25 00:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Before going to sleep, I check three times to see that I've set the alarm clock.
I'm obsessive about hole-punching. I can't stand loose papers - they must be on the rings of a binder.
I can't stand not remembering little facts. I've been known to get up in the middle of the night to look up song lyrics, a fact from class notes, etc.
I will belch with the best of the guys, but I think farting is gross.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-25 00:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to be terrified of telegraph poles. I'd have to run under them, averting my eyes, because i thought they were going to fall on me.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-10-24 23:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh.
But congrats on the 100th post.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-10-24 23:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh wow. I am a walking, talking, collection of obsessive-compulsive habits. A few of the big ones....
I hate it when the person I am on the phone with is eating. I've yelled at people for crunching in my ear.
I can't stand it when something is at an odd angle, like pictures, stuff on the desk.
Dirty silverware in the sink. Just throw it in the dishwasher.
I have to eat one thing at a time too. And the food can't touch.
I too love to do laundry and am very particular about how it is done. If someone causes me to miss the rinse cycle, there will be hell to pay.
I can't stand the t.v. and stereo to be on at the same time. I have a friend who will do this.
Dogs who are always licking their balls. My same friend has a dog who will plop down right in front of you, lift his leg, and lick his balls. I don't know why this bugs me but I'll shoo him away. She laughs at me but it's just obnoxious.
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-10-24 22:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
note: if i stole something someone said, i'm sorry. i only read the first few comments.
i used to have to balance out every little thing i did.
e.g. if i scratched my left elbow, i had to scratch my right elbow the same amount of times.
i did it with everything.
if i itched my nose with my left index finger a few times, i had to do it the same amount of times with my right hand.
i dropped it about a year ago. it was a bad habit that made me feel like a loser.
+22 for the picture.
i want to do that.
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2005-10-24 22:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't stand being yelled at when I'm driving. If a passenger is saying "GO LEFT! YOU'RE MISSING IT...YOU STILL HAVE TIME....GO LEFT!!!!!"
I'll just keep driving straight. I can't think when people are yelling.
I hate my cuticles. I constantly clip at them.
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-10-24 21:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I have a meal with potatos in it I'll always leave them for last.
I rarely watch a movie the whole way through. I have to come back to it at a later point.
I can't sleep unless I face away from the door, otherwise I tend to watch it in case someone comes in.
I have an intense dislike of silence. I just don't trust it.
Birds make me anxious.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-10-24 21:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I pace incessantly when I'm on the phone.
I seem unable to control clutter in any environment, be it home, car or work, but I am obsessive about personal hygiene.
I am not generally attracted to older men, but I would totally bang Alex Trebek.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-24 21:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My employer's volume license number for both Office 97 and Windows XP are burned into my mind. I can't remember where I parked, but I can rattle off serial numbers without pause....
sigh
Submitted by celine (user info) at 2005-10-24 20:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure I have plenty of idiosyncracies, but as I live alone and never leave my apartment, there's no one around to point them out to me.
Submitted by AlkalineSolo (user info) at 2005-10-24 20:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think washing top to bottom is just common sense.
Nobody wants to wash thier asshole, and then thier face afterwards.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-24 20:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking dickhead making a post to garner hits......
<cut>
<Paste>
<Submit>
Watch in amazement!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You callin me nuts?
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL!
======
that's what I should have titled the picture.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You callin me nuts?
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
herpes - that sounds like a fucking post in the makings
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I eat one thing at a time on my plate at dinner. Say I have peas, potatoes, and a steak I have to eat one at a time and then turn the plate as I move on to the next item.
--
i find that behaviour very disturbing
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I left out my stranger stuff but you still seem pretty nuts Herpes.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I give words numerical values. I also compare them to other words. The word hell gets a 35.. but what fucks me up, is when longer words get a smaller value than shorter words. I've been trying to work out a formula that represents the value of each word used in conversation, based solely on it's point value. If I ever have a look of deep thought when you're talking to me, it's not because you've said something profound, it's because I'm trying to figure out if what you said is important, based on it's mathematical value.
goat is worth one less point than hope, and I'm sure that probably has something to do with the quality of what one is trying to say... I just have to find the connection.
Yes, I'm fucking nuttier than all of you bitches.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post man, Congrats on 100K hits. you have nice stats.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-10-24 18:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah sandwich, a hamncheez sandwich I see.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-10-24 18:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"My weirdest quirk is music, with a few exceptions, once my musics on i want to listen to it. Even in the car, if i put a CD on, then the world must shut up. I just like listening to the lyrics, otherwise i wouldn't fucking put it on!! Aaargh!"
Not my weirdest quirk, but true.
"If a letter comes after about 'F' in the alphabet I have to run through the whole thing mentally to find out where it is...that is so fucked because I've known the alphabet a long time."
I walk up and down and up and down when I listen to music, or think, or anything really, I just pace about a lot.
I very rarely dream, but when I do they tend to be satanic (Man with head of goat standing at the end of my bed) it isn't at all scary, though when I wake up I often find myself paralysed for a few minutes.
"I can't go to sleep unless I've checked the alarm clocks twice. This is probably the only obsessive thing I do, because I'm fine with leaving my apartment knowing I've locked the door, etc.
Even though I know full well that I've set them, I need to hit the 'set alarm' button one more time."
"Let's see... I know I have a lot of them, the problem is remembering them. I guess for starters I can say I barely remember things now but I can remember random things, like quotes in episodes of the Simpsons I last saw like five years ago."
Took me years to learn my own phone No and 5secs to memorize the random code on the back of one of my computer games to the extent that I didn't need to check when I went to reinstall it 3 ears later. I still know it today.
I have others I just cant remember them.
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2005-10-24 18:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bugger! When I said "here" I meant HERE: http://www.ubersite.com/m/76555
Sorry, just back from a long weekend (loving Labour Day) and not quite on to it yet!
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2005-10-24 18:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most of my quirks are listed here (sorry, very blatant linkwhore, but relevant I promise).
However, another one is that if I don't wash my hair in the morning (whether it's because of lack of time, playing sports later or whatever), I end up washing my hands alllll day. I think I feel dirty or something.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-10-24 18:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This from a man who spends a week hiking through rain forests covered mountains "for fun"
Something is SO ironic about that...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-10-24 16:17:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
I go insane if I get my feet dirty.
Mud, water, etc. thats all fine. its the dry, dusty sort of thing that gets me going
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-10-24 17:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't eat several items on my plate one at a time but I definitely can't have any items on my plate touching others. Food touching other food on the plate is a bad thing.
I count stairs too. I can't help it.
I lose respect for men when they let me fuck them in the ass. Losers...
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-10-24 16:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I go insane if I get my feet dirty.
Mud, water, etc. thats all fine. its the dry, dusty sort of thing that gets me going
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-24 15:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great picture
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-24 15:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm hoping to be smoke free by the time Festivous rolls around.
I want to be ready for "feats of strength"
It's a Festivous for the rest of us!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 15:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Solidarity Mike...I've been quitting for a month and Wednesday my truck gets detailed and that means no smokey no more.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-24 15:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought of some more things.
As far as the shower goes, not so much as the washing, but I dry myself off the exact same way every day.
I can't stand the sound of nails being clipped.
The smell of burnt popcorn pushes me over the edge. I get migranes and want to figght whoever burned the fucking popcorn. It's simple, 4 fucking minutes, not 6 or 23. That smell lingers for days. I'm pissed off now.
It doesn't help that I'm quitting smoking this week either.
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-10-24 15:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, yeah, I guess there are just a lot of crazy things I do.
Congrats yourself on 100k hits.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 14:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wrightcopy - congrats on giving me the longest review I've ever received.
I'm with you on the clean up thing, I do most of the cooking at home and I can't even begin if there is even one dish in the sink.
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-10-24 14:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's see... I know I have a lot of them, the problem is remembering them. I guess for starters I can say I barely remember things now but I can remember random things, like quotes in episodes of the Simpsons I last saw like five years ago.
A lot of the ones you list I can say about myself, so much that I was freaked out at first that we had so much in common: I hate coffee, I hate stuff on the floor (or rooms being cramped in general; furniture arrangements are important to me), I hate talking on the phone, the not really remembering the alphabet after so many letters thing. I'm 22 and I still sing the alphabet song in my head to figure out where a letter is in order.
I don't like eating anything cold for breakfast, like cereal. It has to be warm, like pancakes or a toasted bagel.
I'm obsessive about my fingernails. Like if they aren't cut right my fingers will start to bother me and I'll pick at them until I do cut/file them right.
When I first walk into any house/apartment, the first thing I usually do is look at where the ceiling and walls join for spiders, because there are lots of them in my apartment.
I hate cleaning, but I'm always doing it because messes annoy me to the point where I can't concentrate if it's messy. This is especially weird to me because I used to be the biggest pig up until I moved out of my parents' apartment a year ago, but now I can't stop cleaning.
I'm always cold. Always. I can be fully dressed and with the heat on 80 degrees and still be cold. I can be in a hot shower and still be cold.
If I read a book that I like a lot, I feel the need to own it. If I borrowed the book, I'll give the book back and go out and by my own copy.
I'm crazy about being late to anything, even five minutes late, but don't really care if others are late to meet me.
Oh, when I was a kid, if I walked on a checkered floor, I'd notice myself only walking on one color tile. I still have no idea why I did this, I just kinda did it. It took me a LONG time to get out of that habit so I could go to all places in a kitchen.
If I know I have something that needs to be done, I'll be anxious to finish it. This becomes a problem when I'm cleaning. If I realize one thing needs to be cleaned while I'm doing something else, I'll stop what I'm doing and do the other thing. Then I realize something else needs to be cleaned and will switch to that. I end up in the middle of cleaning five things before I finish one.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 14:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's one that just came up: I can't stand people that don't flush, or wash their hands, or both, when you enter the bathroom. I know that people don't do both of these things all the time, but when I'm coming in to use the facilities, and we either make eye contact or you hear me come in, at least make an attempt to not look like a filthy animal who's never heard the word hygiene.
Hell, just run a little water and pretend - my back's turned anyway.
Congrats on your 100/100K day.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 14:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about badassmofo
User id: 15038
Registered on or around: 2004-12-29 12:57:36
# Messages posted: 100
# Reviews written: 3902
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 3848
# Hits: 100087
Average rating of all messages: 1.47
Submitted by randomhero83 (user info) at 2005-10-24 14:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to pee in the shower.
Then once I'm done, I laugh as I see everyone go in the shower AFTER me. HAHA!
Then I run to my room and violently masturbate...
Then I blame the cuts on the dog. Even though he was just trying to lick off the blood.
LINK WHORE!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77628
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 14:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hadley - don't be jealous.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-24 14:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:39:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I also love vacuuming and folding laundry. If I could get paid to fold laundry all day, well, that would be kickass. I actually do my roommates' laundry sometimes, without their permission, because I just can't help myself.
-------------------------
This is why I love Jeanneee!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:55:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:54:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
OH yeah X, if I fuck a guy in the ass we can still hang out and have beers...I just like the meat.
----
I always knew, man. I always knew.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joe - so long as 'maturity' doesn't mean 'getting old' then I'm cool with it.
don't get me wrong, if the right animal comes along I'll surely take it, but I'm not out for trophies or bravado...I just like the meat and the nature.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i missed this:
"I've been hunting since I was old enough to get a hunting license but for the last 2 years I haven't killed anything. The opportunities have been there I just...I don't know...I don't have it anymore. When I go out now I enjoy the sitting or walking, the simple enjoyment of nature, more than anything. I haven't talked to my hunting buddies about this yet and they just think I'm in a bit of a slump."
***
It's when you finally make the decision to put all the competitive games aside, in the field,
because you've been there and done that.
It's when you finally discover you can actually enjoy the beauty and value of nature
in a passive manner.
But it can be......fun, watching your buddies act like you did when you were 16 as long as
you can minimize the damage they inflict.
Short answer:
It's called maturity
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeanneee - the Mrs. and I were just talking about getting a maid service...I'll pay you to vacuum and fold laundry...No Problem.
ruthless- lotion is one of my big quirks...I can't stand it...makes my skin crawl rubbing something like that all over me. But thinking about you putting lotion on your legs...well that works for me.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:39:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to close the toilet lid before I flush. I once read somewhere that when you flush, microscopic droplets of poo/pee-tainted water spray everything within a 6 foot radius of the toilet (like my toothbrush, makeup bag, and and hair scrunchy, ew!).
===============
Me too.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have to lotion my legs every day, and lotion my hands everytime they get wet.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to close the toilet lid before I flush. I once read somewhere that when you flush, microscopic droplets of poo/pee-tainted water spray everything within a 6 foot radius of the toilet (like my toothbrush, makeup bag, and and hair scrunchy, ew!).
I also love vacuuming and folding laundry. If I could get paid to fold laundry all day, well, that would be kickass. I actually do my roommates' laundry sometimes, without their permission, because I just can't help myself.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:34:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH yeah X, if I fuck a guy in the ass we can still hang out and have beers...whaddya doin later?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you reserve your 'anal play' to just guys...and thanks by the way, my ass STILL hurts
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Years spent driving back and forth between college and home on 66 and 81 taught me to appreciate truckers and their speed. Those crafty bitches get the heads up from their good buddies ahead of them down the line and adjust their speed accordingly. Unless they're racing to the next rest area to get some glory hole action in the bathroom...
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I drive on the highway I speed, I mean like 90+ its my way.
I use 2 tactics for protection, one is that I guess where the cops will be by looking down the road a ways looking for possible speed trap areas and at those points I make sure I'm in the fast lane with a car between the cop and I.
Or I play INterstate Football. This means I find a trucker (read:fullback) that is speeding and I follow him...he slows I slow...he speeds I speed
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And a giant Ahem to you too, Teeph.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't mow my yard the same way twice in a row. If I mow it horizontally one week, it has to be vertically or diagonally striped the next. Why? I think the grass might get 'used' to being mowed one certain way, and it will lay down for the mower in that direction and not cut as well the next time. Weird, I know.
I too suffer from the eating one thing at a time syndrome.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha! Me, too.
I can't go to sleep unless I've checked the alarm clocks twice. This is probably the only obsessive thing I do, because I'm fine with leaving my apartment knowing I've locked the door, etc.
Even though I know full well that I've set them, I need to hit the 'set alarm' button one more time.
If I'm listening to rap with the windows down, I turn it down if I'm at a stop light. Not because I don't want people to see a white guy groovin' to some beats, but because I don't want to offend anyone if they're within earshot. This applies to any music, really, but I find it happens much more often with rap.
If I'm speeding down a road - clearly breaking the limit - and I drive by a cop that's sitting in a speed trap or just perched on the side of the road I'll start talking to myself and gesturing like I'm having a conversation. I think this is so that the cop will think I'm talking to someone and unintentioanlly going faster than I should, instead of purposefully breaking the law and speeding like a penis. Haven't gotten a ticket yet, so my psychological camouflage must be working.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:36:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah this is my 100th post I'd love to see it take me to 100k hits...look at the user info...its all thanks to you Teeph, you owe me about 5oo hits.
-----
Ahem....
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 13:02:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orgasm - the more you type the similar it seems we are. I stack my stuff too and I take it a step further and actually wipe down the area in front of me when I'm done.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Enjoy the madness, Crystle.
It will consume you.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mofo, I'm the same way with the ice. The ice is the best part.
I'm sure I've been pissing people off for years with all of my ice chewing.
I hate, hate, HATE when waiters take drinks from me when I haven't finished them. And not when they're basically gone - though that does conflict with the ice chewing - but when they're still at least half full. I'm still drinking, dipshit.
Or when they take the plates to the back to box up food. I only box it up at the table. And it's not that I don't trust them, at least I don't think it has to do with that. I think I just see it as more efficient.
Also, when I'm done eating at a restaurant, I stack the plates/bowls/flatwear into an orderly pile so the waiter/waitress won't have to fuss with it. If I have time, that is.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ghey rape mostly.
:-(
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:52:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
yes Dan it's a sandwich...he's probably going to be hungry after the slaughter.
Berty - she's out there man, never give up on your dreams...there is someone for everyone.
--------
Bah. The last thing I need is a woman. I'm gonna grab some brewskis and get wrecked.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:52:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
yes Dan it's a sandwich...he's probably going to be hungry after the slaughter.
-==-=-=-=-=-=-
That is the most random, and subtle thing I have ever seen.
Why badass, why?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crap - now I'm gonna have to do that.
-----------------------------------------
Whenever I'm done pumping gas, I always try to get the pump back into position, my gas cap locked in place and the gas tank cover closed before the machine beeps and asks me for a receipt. I rarely succeed.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes Dan it's a sandwich...he's probably going to be hungry after the slaughter.
Berty - she's out there man, never give up on your dreams...there is someone for everyone.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Compulsory - I hear you on the stopping to help people I can't count how many times I've jumped out to help push someone's car off the road, meanwhile I'm like the 20th car back of people wanting them to move. But I'm the opposite with salad, my rationale is that it's already cold so I'll just eat the hot stuff first.
Orgasmatron - I don't use straws...ever. and I eat the ice of every drink I ever drink. Sometimes I'll get a glass of water just so I can down it and eat the ice.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is there a sandwich photoshopped in the lower right-hand corner of that pic?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reading these reviews caused me to scratch my chin and furrow my brow.
There is far too much anal retentivness amongst the woman folk. Why can't I meet a female 25-35 year old slob with a great body and loads of money who like thin, hairy, englishmen? Is that too much to ask?
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever I am a passenger in a car and riding down the interstate, I pretend that I am swinging
from one light pole to the next one on a grappling hook.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's fitting that a user named Compuslory would chime in on this.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Refresh, refresh, refresh . . .
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only hold my dangle at a urinal with my right hand. And yet I only tug it with my left.
Whenever I'm done pumping gas, I always try to get the pump back into position, my gas cap locked in place and the gas tank cover closed before the machine beeps and asks me for a receipt. I rarely succeed.
I walk from aisle to aisle in the grocery store based on how I have my pantry arranged, not in numerical order like the store wants me to.
I don't like drinking fountain sodas with straws. No lid, no straw. Just the drink. Unless it's from McDonald's, because for some reason their straws rock. I think it's because they're a little larger.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Refresh. Rank. Refresh . . .
Submitted by Compulsory (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eating one thing at a time - check. Additionally, I eat my vegetables or salad first. It's just wrong to let them sit there and eat the other stuff first.
I'm obsessive about brushing and flossing my teeth.
I think everyone showers top to bottom. It's just normal.
I always shave my right leg first.
I HATE if someone eats while I'm on the phone with them. It's even worse if they try to talk while the food is in their mouth.
When people go into public stinking, it makes me sick. If I can smell them 12 feet away, they should be able to smell themselves, too.
I really hate it when someone is obviously in need of some help and 30 able-bodied people walk right past. Just help them! It takes what? 30 seconds of your time?
Children who whine drive me batty. I have to leave if I'm around a child and they start whining.
Agreeing to do something and not doing it. Saying you'll be there at 7 and showing up 15 minutes late. If you don't want to do it, don't say you will. If you're going to be late, call or SMS! That's what cell phones are for.
I'll stop here.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, fuck you for that, by the way.
I have to beg and plead to get 100k before my Uberversary and you've been here like what? Couple weeks and you're there already. (But, that begging was a BRILLIANT strategy, just so you know.)
I should have told you that your ideas sucked and stole them for myself.
As for stewwed tomatoes . . . another of my lovable little quirks is that I only like them when they are smashed into some sort of paste. If they resemble an actual tomato in shape, I won't eat them.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:37:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
DOS - loufa is the new gerbil, I mean that in the gayest way.
-=-=-=-=-=
loofa, it's loofa.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DOS - loufa is the new gerbil, I mean that in the gayest way.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Teeph - you have to try mac-n-cheese with stewed tomotoes...it is the only way to eat it. Hitwhore? you call me hit whore...bah...mr. sob sob I need 4k hits sob sob....
Oh yeah this is my 100th post I'd love to see it take me to 100k hits...look at the user info...its all thanks to you Teeph, you owe me about 5oo hits.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I walk around constantly when I'm on the phone. Even at home.
I've probably started to wear a path around my kitchen, dining room and living room.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whats a loufa?
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On second thought, you get the +2 for getting me to type as much I just did (you shameless hitwhore, you).
I also do the alphabet thing and the taking the third or fourth copy of the DVD on the rack thing (same theory also applies to buying produce. I'm tall, so I can reach the bins that are waaaay at the back. I figure the mexicans haven't run their grubby little paws over those so much. The local mexicans mind, not the ones who actually picked the produce in the first place - they're unavoidable.)
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orgasmatron - I do the same think but only started a few years ago as I have picked up from my wife. But for her its everything, she never takes the first one off the shelf.
Fudge - at least you don't have any issues with your boss.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:00:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
ozzy - perhaps you and Dan shower together?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
EWWWW badass!!!
I do the alphabet thingy too though. Brother?
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I eat only one thing at a time.
I hate talking on the telephone, to anyone, for any reason, at any time.
If the Huskerz are playing and I have decided to care about football that day, I cannot wear red. I am the anti-Husker. My rooting for them WILL make them loose.
I hang my shirts and jackets in the closet with the buttons or zippers facing to the right (Go Right Wing Extremists WOO!). I simply assumed that everyone did it this way until I got married. She faces hers left. We are both adamant that the other is insane for doing it the way they do.
I like my TP to hang over the top, not hang behind the roll.
I keep beer bottle caps and screws from whatever home improvement project I'm working on at the moment in the pockets of my cargo shorts. I am hellbent on destroying our washing machine.
As much as I love Mac & Cheese, I won't eat it anymore without adding either ketsup (katsup?, catchup?) or spaghetti sauce.
I also do the top to bottom washing thing with separate washing of the face, but I can rationalize it all. The process goes like this:
I put the shampoo in the haya to get it clean. (Shampoo is betta. NO! Conditiona is betta! It makes the hair smooth.)
Then I wash my face. I wash my face a this point, because if I had washed my face after the next step (conditioner) I wouldn't be able to rince my face for fear of accidentally rinsing some of the (special must-stay-on-for-three-minutes-to-keep-your-middle-aged-ass-from-getting-any-balder) conditioner out of my hair.
Then I apply the conditioner and wait. The waiting consists of washing from top to bottom (I blame this on that episode of Friends where Chandler claimed that soap couldn't get dirty because it was SOAP and it makes things clean, but then Joey told Chandler to think of the last thing that Joey washed and the first thing that Chandler washed if soap was inherently clean - this thought still gives me chills after living in a house with 10 other guys at one point) and shave.
There is also the force of gravity and my sensative skin to consider in all this. I figure that if you washed from the bottom up, then the dirty soap water will just be draining back over areas you supposedly already washed, getting them at least partially dirty again, whereas if you wash from the top down, you will simply continue to rinse the higher altitudes all throughout the remainder of the shower ensuring that they are EXTRA well rinsed (this is great if you are like me and sometimes get hives from fragranted soaps which you wife invariably buys).
I can rationalize pretty much anything if anyone needs a little help justifying strange behavior that others don't understand, it's what I DO.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pet-peeves:
lateness
getting lost while driving bothers me immensly, so i am OCD when it comes to directions and navigating.
britney spears and her following
vegetarians
this website
my boss
the way my boss smells
the way my boss talks
the way my boss walks
the way my boss dresses
school spplications
long-term relationships
fake-kindness. if you don't like me, fucking grow a sack and tell me instead of smiling like a fool.
nose hair
ear hair
back hair
pussy hair
traffic jams
affluent-looking bums
the word "trinket"
regis philbin
tai-bo
gymrats
"smoking will kill you, you know"....thank you, yes. i know. FUCK OFF!
muslims
50 cent
'My Super Sweet 16'
Jenny Jones
Star Jones
Theo Fleury
The Boston Red Sox
Three-legged dogs
how there is now a Zagat guide for everything
Ducati gangs.....honetsly, be man and get a fucking harley
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enter a comment here (optional):
I have to have rules for everything I do.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i still, do the cigarette thing too plus, when I'm driving, i always entinguish
them on the out-side of the windows on all my cars
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I buy a book, magazine, CD, DVD, etc. - anything typically sold in mass quantities - I'll always pick the second or third one on the rack and never the first one. For some reason, I think I'm purchasing the one that hasn't been repeatedly flipped through, handled, or what have you.
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:04:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ick........... you sir, sicken me.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate when people are not prompt.
If they say that they are going
to be somewhere at some time and
they are not, it pisses me off.
I don't like sand in my hands. It
irks me.
Snoring bother me too. If I am
sleeping next to someone who is
snoring I count the seconds before
the next snore and this keeps me
awake all night.
The sound of silence in my room
when I sleet bothers me. I need
a fan running when I sleep. The
white noise helps me sleep better.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If a letter comes after about 'F' in the alphabet I have to run through the whole thing mentally to find out where it is...that is so fucked because I've known the alphabet a long time.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I count on my fingers a lot.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ozzy - perhaps you and Dan shower together?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I swear I was on the phone & didnt see Average Dan's review before I posted mine.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I really hate talking on the phone, I don't drink coffee, and I eat one item of food at a time.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the title alone. You are one quirky mo fo.
My weirdest habit would be washing myself in the shower the same way every time.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:53:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:51:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I have no problem with you being gay...some of my best friends were gay.
Ok, that's not true, I was just trying to make you feel better...being "gay" and all.
===============
I say shenanigans...you don't have friends.
I'm not gay, but I'll date your asshole for a while.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:50:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Dan I do the shower thing too and I never ever wash my face with anything but my own hands...hence my beautiful skin.
><><<><><>\
HAhaha, me too, that loufa(sp?) is for pussies!
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I have no problem with you being gay...some of my best friends were gay.
Ok, that's not true, I was just trying to make you feel better...being "gay" and all.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dan I do the shower thing too and I never ever wash my face with anything but my own hands...hence my beautiful skin.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I eat one thing at a time on my plate at dinner. Say I have peas, potatoes, and a steak I have to eat one at a time and then turn the plate as I move on to the next item.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i thought i was the only one who did this!! I don't liek to mix at all. My Brother is worst, he'll mix mash potatoe, peas, some pie and ketchup and eat it all together, ugg.
My weirdest quirk is music, with a few exceptions, once my musics on i want to listen to it. Even in the car, if i put a CD on, then the world must shut up. I just like listening to the lyrics, otherwise i wouldn't fucking put it on!! Aaargh!
Maybe i have OCD???
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the shower, I always wash from the top of me to the bottom.
Head, face, torso, cock and balls, legs. Every time.
Also when I masturbate, I always picture this dark haired temptress getting banged by her "uncle" (in parenthesis because he isn't really her uncle, he's just been around the family so long the just call him uncle)while he is dressed up like the easter bunny with her in his lap. Every time, is that weird?
what?!?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:44:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
So, why would you lose respect after getting fucked in the ass?
I thought you queers liked that shit?
==========================
So you're one of those fucktards that uses 'homosexuality' as a cut on someone.
Very original, no really I've never seen that here.
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like to shovel all the food from my plate, into my pants, then I punch myself in the nuts to blend it, then I squish it around to the back, fart on it.. and finally, scoop it out byt the handfull and eat it.
Is that weird?
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was younger, when I would eat, I'd have to chew equally on both sides of my mouth.
Say I'd be eating steak, chicken ,whatever...2 chews on the left, 2 chews on the right, swallow.
I'm not sure when I stopped, I think I just realized what a crazy fuck I was, so I stopped.
This could be a "quirk" or a superstition but when I play hockey, I ALWAYS skate out with my stick in my left hand and slap both blue lines before I start stretching or drills. I have done this since I was like 8. I have no clue why, I just do.
Go Irish
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty - I knew some of the boys wouldn't like that one
D0S - when the Flyers are in the playoffs I have to tap my wood window sill in the family room...its a superstition that never works.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I eat one thing at a time on my plate at dinner. Say I have peas, potatoes, and a steak I have to eat one at a time and then turn the plate as I move on to the next item.
+1 because I do this, too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Christ...you're right. This IS shit.
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So, why would you lose respect after getting fucked in the ass?
I thought you queers liked that shit?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i eat one thing at a time on my plate, too.
i also tie my shoes left to right, never right to left. i dont know why, really.
and before i boot up halo 2 and whoop some ass on xbox live, i always kiss that lil xbox logo on my controller. call it superstition.
out of 103 matches, i've lost 7. and yes, outside of work, i have no life.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I lose respect for a girl if she lets me fuck her ass....that is very odd and seeing as I've been with my wife for 10 years now it hasn't been an issue for a long time. But back in the day, if a girl let me do it I couldn't even speak to her anymore.
----------
*shakes head*
Berty does not approve.