What Happens When You Fuck A Stranger In The Ass (2219 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.86 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Wildcat (View user info) at 2005-10-25 14:09:32 EDT
Mona walked across the matted down carpet carrying two black trays. The swirling brown sea of fibers beneath her grass stained feet engulfed the room and hid the years of dirt and grime that was assuredly beneath its hues.
"God damnit Mona, Jeopardy's comin' on. Get outta the way of the TV."
She shook her head mumbling to herself as she set one of the trays in his lap. She closed her white robe with her newly freed hand and sat down on the couch next to him, tucking her leg under as she landed. He took another sip from his beer and set it back down on the table next to the ragged couch. "Thanks hon.", he said as he reached for the knife and fork next to his beer.
He looked down at the plastic tray, its microwaved delicacies in perfect proportions. "Oh god damnit, look at this!", he said, pointing to the compartment holding the corn. "They fucked it all up. They splattered some gravy into the corn and a few kernels of corn are over there in there in the pudding. How the hell am I supposed to eat gravied corn and corned pudding?" Mona set her fork down and looked at him, "Quit your bitchin' and eat your food. I made that especially for you. Blood, sweat and tears went into that meal.". He just grumbled and continued with his meal, frowning with every gravied bite.
As the credits began to roll down the screen Mona stood up from the couch and took the tray from her husband. She crossed the living and heard something. She tilted her head in the direction of the noise. Then she heard it again. "Was that yelling? It sounds like yelling.", she thought to herself. Rounding the couch she drew back the curtains in the living room and looked out into the street.
"Honey! Come quick! Some guy just hit your 'Vette with a pipe or something!".
Her husband came running to the door and jerked it open. He stood out on the porch to take a look for himself.
"You see Larry? You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass? Do you see, Larry, what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass? Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass Larry?", screamed a large man in the street as he broke the windows of the red Corvette.
Mona followed her husband out onto the porch and watched as he dashed off towards the man beating his new car. She watched from the porch as he retaliated on the other man's car. She had to laugh at the situation, it was just too surreal.
Her husband came back inside pacing around the house. Sweat covered his brow and he was furious. "What the fuck was that all about Mona? Some guys just starts fucking up my 'Vette and you just sit here chuckling? You are so lucky I have self control Mona, so fucking lucky.".
"Chill out honey, it's just karma. If a few broken windows are all you get for helping your boss drug that bum and then paying the police to mishandle him then so be it.", Mona said, trying to reason with and calm her husband.
He looked at her, squinted and grumbled, "Fuck you Larry, you son of a bitch. Your ass is dead."
User Reviews
Submitted by Mrs.Love (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will give you a +2 even though you started a fight with me and I didn't watch the rest of the movie with you. And if you ever fuck anyone else in the ass, stranger or not, I will have your balls. Not in the way I do right now, I mean I'll wear them as a necklace.
Magickmuse, you're a fucking loser.
Submitted by Magickmuse (user info) at 2005-10-25 23:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
WTF?
I don't see the value in that.
Ooh that's it. Bravo!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-25 18:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I smiled.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-10-25 18:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-10-25 16:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I love the Big Lebowski. That is why you must -2 die.
Submitted by HorseShit (user info) at 2005-10-25 16:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are out of your element.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-25 16:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the Dude abides....I'll take a White Russian, please.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-10-25 15:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
<The Dude just shakes his head>
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks, Jack. That was seriously fucking with my head. I have so many movies crammed into my brain that my auto-recall has turned to complete and total shit unless I've watched the movie in question 50 times.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a busy guy...I don't have time to read every post in this dump, Sparky.
The review, an "instant classic" I might add, fit the title perfectly. As usual.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, this is Smokey. Look, I don't wanna be a hard-on about this, and I know it wasn't your fault, but I just thought it was fair to tell you that Gene and I will be submitting this to the League and asking them to set aside the round. Or maybe forfeit it to us--
dude- shit!
--so, like I say, just thought, you know, fair warning. Tell Walter.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:23:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
You would know.
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Holy. Fuck.
Did you really just make a reference to the title in that way?
Just for the record everyone, I did NOT fuck a stranger COUGH COUGH Shlongy COUGH COUGH in the ass.
Never again Shlongy, never again.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Lebowski: Special Edition, out this month.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:16:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
This sounds incredibly familiar, but I can't place it. It's a scene in a movie that I can't quite remember.... I'll come back and adjust my rating once I've figured out what it's from.
=-=-=
big lebowski, if the picture wasn't enough for you.
"shut the FUCK up, Donnie."
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You just went and earned yourself +2's for life jr.
Walter, you can't do that. These guys're like me, they're pacificists. Smokey was a conscientious objector.
You know Dude, I myself dabbled with pacifism at one point. Not in Nam, of course--
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You would know.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:16:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha! I <3 Walter Sobcek.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-10-25 14:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This sounds incredibly familiar, but I can't place it. It's a scene in a movie that I can't quite remember.... I'll come back and adjust my rating once I've figured out what it's from.