Say It's Gold, Say It's Fine. (403 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.5 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Drop It Like It's Disgusting<likeafallingbomb.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-10-26 01:51:38 EDT
wrote this one in case everybody in the entire world forgot what big pimps Marines are. My daily routine includes waking up before the Sun does, in a dark blur of my room. I reach for my alarm clock and attack the off button quicker than a single friend that tries to holla at your girlfriend. After this I will usually go smoke a cigarette. Sometimes I'll accidentally walk out of my room naked and get yelled at. But, I had shoes on, right?
Anyways, the Marines is like being in a really shitty high school, when 90% of the girls are pregnant sluts that still want any dick with a high -n- tight, and all the guys are really good at something but they never get the chance to prove it. It just so happens that every guy in my barracks (dorm) is a pimp. That's right! Really ugly guys that have so much game they could walk into a male only bar and leave with three girls! The main source of gossip comes from a lonely outdoor bench called the smoke pit. That's where I sometimes like to go when I'm feeling depressed and need somebody stupid to make me feel better. It's like a fountain of youth that will never run out. Often a conversation about Japan will come up. Japan inevitably leads to women, mainly Japanese women.
Random Fuckhead - Man, Japanese girls are so damn easy!
Me - Yeah? Thats awesome man, so do you speak Japanese at all?
Fuckhead - Actually, I speak a good amount. I learned "Kawaii"... I guess if you say "Kawaii" (cute, in Japanese) you will get laid really easy!
Me - Wow, I couldn't fathom saying one word and getting a girl to like me because of it..
Fuckhead - Well, it's the point that you're speaking thier language. They really go for this, here's how you do it. You walk up to them at a club or a bar, and you say "YoU R KaWaii!" And they will start talking to you. Thats how you do it out here.
Me - So, you've gotten alot of girls huh?
Fuckhead - Well, I've only been here about 4 months, but I've gotten laid 26 times since I came out here! Japanese girls are so stupid!
There's nothing funnier to me than a moron talking about other people being stupid. Their wisdom is so... haha. I can't even say. This shit seriously comes up all the time. Its hilarious when thier facial features resembles a pig more than a human being too. Don't forget the true playas either, that don't go for Japanese girls:
Me - So it's a Friday night and i'm miserable. What are you doing man?
Fuckhead #2 - Well, I was gonna go see my girlfriend since I just got paid yesterday.
Me - Thats awesome man, do you have a foreign girlfriend?
Fuckhead - Yea, she's Filipino, she works out on Gate 2.
Me - Cool, so what does she do? does she have her own house or anything?
Fuckhead - Well yea, she works in this bar called "Wild Exotics" and she's a bartender. She is real cool because she plays ugly guys into buying her drinks.
Me - Really? I seriously have more respect for those girls than most guys do. They could make so much money feeding dumb americans the dream of having a cute girl. Something they've never experienced before haha.
Fuckhead - Yea, it sucks though because I gotta buy her drinks too so she doesn't get into trouble. But, she likes me for who I am so she's going to come to america with me when I go back.
Me - Well, I'm glad that both of you are extremely inteligent. I bet thats what attracted her to you, because you obviously know what you're doing.
Fuckhead - Yea man, thats how I do things. I don't mess with Japanese girls because all they want is to go back to America and I found a girl who is really into me. I'm not trying to get played.
I hope you all noticed the sarcasm in my praise for this genius. I swear I live with Albert Einstien's children.
User Reviews
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-10-26 14:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh sweet dear jesus this is gross http://www.goatse.ca but it's better than the post.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-26 07:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-26 03:19:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
-It's a rule that you only post once every 24 hours.
-Rating your own posts has no effect on your overall rating.
-As a general rule, your first post must be inspired by one of the topics available at the following website:
http://www.goatse.ca
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You cruel bastard Phallic.
oh yeah..........Meh
Submitted by DropItLikeItsDisgusting (user info) at 2005-10-26 07:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No kidding idiot, I know how to read. I also know how to use punctuation, unlike you.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-26 03:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-It's a rule that you only post once every 24 hours.
-Rating your own posts has no effect on your overall rating.
-As a general rule, your first post must be inspired by one of the topics available at the following website:
http://www.goatse.ca
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-26 03:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeh