Parks Refuses To Get In Back Of Hearse (1045 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.94 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mike00295 (View user info) at 2005-10-26 10:03:13 EDT
I figured I'd give it a few days before I posted this. You know, out of respect and all.
And before a select few of you flip the fuck out, I have posted this elsewhere today.
Here's a link for you. http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=1649&SectionID=12
Bastards.
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Civil rights pioneer Rosa Parks, defiant until the end and beyond, could not be forced into the back of the Cadillac Crowne Royale Limo Hearse that was to transport her from the hospital to the Mitchell Brothers Funeral Home in downtown Detroit yesterday.
"I've never seen anything like it", said Casey Waldorf, hearse driver and 12-year employee of Mitchell Brothers, "we got her in the coffin okay, but when we got it back to the car, the door was jammed up, and it wasn't opening for anything. It's never done that before."
According to Waldorf, Parks' vigilant protest continued from there.
"We decided to try and cram the casket into the back through the front door, but that wasn't going to happen. It's one of those big fancy ones we see every now and again when someone rich or special dies. Well, I knew we were going to have a problem as soon as we opened the door, because we brought the smaller of our two hearses. The other one was grabbing somebody across town. Sure enough, that thing wasn't fitting in there for shit. We must have tried ten different angles but it just wasn't going in."
The two men found the only way to get the casket in to the hearse was to wedge it into the front seat with the feet end sticking out of the passenger window. With Mrs. Parks secured with a set of borrowed bungee cords, the funeral procession continued on as scheduled. And having once again battled oppression and won, Parks took her rightful place in the front seat.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-27 20:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har THE ONION
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-10-26 20:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm sorry but that's frikkin funny.
Submitted by coindon (user info) at 2005-10-26 19:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-10-26 19:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-10-26 18:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wonderful. What a wisked article.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-10-26 12:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny. wrong, but funny.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-10-26 12:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking scroll wheel.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-10-26 12:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-26 12:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY YO UBASTARD U PLAGA PLAYJA PLAIGIA STOLE THAT ARTICLE FROMS OMEWHERE ELES U SUCK !!1111on1e
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-10-26 12:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh so hard I printed it to show my coworkers.
Now they are all convinced I am going to hell.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Giggle.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Timely and classic.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The pic is the coup de grace.
Well done.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is she related to Rosy Palms?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har
Submitted by supersloth (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I started laughing the second I saw the title.
Great little story.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-10-26 11:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're good.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha made me laugh.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew somone would do somthing with this.
Glad it was you Mike.
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's awesome.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah ha, hush that nurse
Everybody move to the back of the hearse
Rollin' down tha freeway in my Toyota Terc...................el
Grindin' on my rimmies cause my tires all burst
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:24:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jus' keepin' it real man, jus' keepin' it real.
Submitted by WellFedEthiopian (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1, made me smile.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Sure enough, that thing wasn't fitting in there for shit."
For some reason, that made me laugh.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-10-26 10:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, it was an original concept. Bastard.