The Lap Of Luxury (879 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MegaManfre (View user info) at 2005-10-26 15:14:46 EDT
Well, its been a while. But Im bored, and what better to do, than to hit up my favorite past time, and surf Uber a lil, and make a meaningless post, mostly about bullshit.
The bullshit in question is the reason why Im bored. It all started on August 19th, when I got fired from my cushy Accounting Job for surfing the internet. Thats right. I got fired for going online. Where was I surfing? Not Ubersite, like I always feared (I used to be on Uber more than I actually did work, about 2 years ago) but for hitting up bash.org so I can print some crap up, and read it during one of my 15 minute bathroom trips.
So, needless to say, I was unemployed until about 2 weeks ago. Now, Im working at a place, where I dont actually do any work after noon, and if I dont go home, I sit here and pretend like Im enjoying myself. I really dont mind not having anything to do, as I get to relax a lil bit.
Essentially what I do is manage Edible Arrangements in one of their stores. Im not worried about getting fired, because the owners are pretty nice, and they like me. Plus, its a small operation, and all I have to really do when I stay, is take phone orders, and process online requests. Its an easy job, and I get paid a lot more than I probably should, but Im not complaining.
So, while I got fired from my nice old cushy job of making a shit load of money, doing minimal work, I now work at a place, where I get paid less, and do even less work. Can I complain? You bet your ass I can complain.
Now, Ive met computer illiterate people before. Hell, my mom is dumb as shit when it comes to computers. But, Ive never met people who cant right click. I have a hard time believing that no one has ever realized that there are 2 mouse buttons on a PC mouse. Even if youve only used a Mac, you know that there are a minimum of 2 mouse buttons. A left, and a right, and sometimes a scroll wheel between them. Well, working with retarts like that, makes me wonder. It makes me wonder how hard is it to run a company. I mean, sure you probably need to know some crap, but if you cant use a computer, how much do you really know about running a business? How hard can it be? Computers are dirt simple. A business cant be much more difficult, if at all. Thats why, if my mother and I move to Texass, then I plan on opening one of these out there. Its a franchise, and it shouldnt be too hard to do it.
Im sitting in the lap of luxury, being over paid, and way under worked. Yet, I can always find something to bitch about. The mexicans we have working for us are nice enough, but I cant help feel like one of them is staring at my ass whenever he gets the chance. He doesnt speak a word of english, but he acts kinda fruity. Almost like my ass were a juicy bowl of fruit, that he would love to take a bite out of. The other mexican is working in the states, and sending money to his family. He actually just learned how to cash his checks. He had about 6 that he didnt cash. I had one of the girls take him to the bank and help him out with it. He must be a pig in shit now that he has money. I think they eat bean burritos every day, because every time I walk into the back around lunch time, it smells of bean burritos.
Oh, and my girlfriends father is gonna be the new chairman in January. Hes gonna have secret service around, so that means we will need to be a lil more careful with the hanky panky. Its kinda nice dating the daughter of someone thats pretty badass like that. Hes the most powerful man in the financial world, and Im banging his daughter. How cool is that?
Im not exactly sure what the hell is going on in this picture...
User Reviews
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-10-26 15:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is he the guy that's replaced Greenspan?
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-10-26 15:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny shit. Also, I find it ironic that you misspelled "retard".