Pissing for Wal-Mart Might Not be Enough (771 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.72 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by morontian (View user info) at 2005-10-26 22:16:37 EDT
Being thirty years old in this day and age is not easy for those of us who slouch our way through school with no real calling. Dead end jobs with just enough pay to keep the apartment in your name and electricity on for yet another record-breaking month is about all you can really aspire to. Working two shit jobs for nine months just to pay off a $2500.00 loan to buy a piece of crap car that blows the head gasket before you even get it home is just another one of life's little quirks.
Which is why I've chosen radiology. In just two short years I can go from frying chicken in a pressure cooker to helping your doctor fix your busted fucking leg. That should be reassuring. And with just a little more training, I could be giving you an MRI. How's that for peice of mind?
But along this journey to being a productive member of society, there have to be a few changes, many of them inconvenient.
First off, school is not cheap. So I'll have to give up the lap of luxury job of sitting on my ass selling cigarettes and newspapers to random coal miners and farmers in exchange for a factory job. Sweating my balls off painting little plastic parts for nine hours a day to pay for the full time school schedule, that should be fun.
I couldn't have picked a better time to start driving two hours a day three days a week. After the Christmas gas goes back up (has everyone noticed that by now? It'll be back up at the beginning of January, watch) I'll be putting around 400 miles a week on my already untrustworthy car. The odds of getting stuck in the middle of the countryside and being laid off as a result of fate? Even.
The uncool factor: Yeah, I'm old enough to know better, but some just don't grow out of that phase of being preoccupied with that feeling of being the odd duck. I was lame enough when I was stuck with people my own age, much less being exposed for the idiot I am amongst a bunch of 19 year old girls.....
Ohhhh, 19 year old girls. There's a plus. If I can lose about fifteen pounds and adopt a persona, that might actually be cool. Nothing at all wrong with a bit of eye candy. It's the only bit of compensation I can see. One could debate the tact of a thirty year old boy checking out 19 year old girls all day, but that will just be between me and my conscience.
And, of course, the inevitable student loan. I'm not naive enough to believe that the leap to $10.00 an hour will pay for the new lease on life I am so desperately in need of, but maybe all the years of being flat broke have given me the frugality necessary to pay the sharks off in a reasonable timeframe without giving them my first born, which will probably pop out of a 21 year old girl two years from now.
In short, a life wasted is a life....wasted. I guess it's time to realise that I'm not Dante Hicks and Kevin Smith will not be paying me to act as such. Action speaks louder than words, and all that shit. And who knows what nasty little things I can do when I get where I want to be. Broken bones, there has to be a way to play with those without getting caught.
User Reviews
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-10-29 16:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post. Best of luck!
As a 19 year old bloke, I can attest that my female peers often seem to gravitate towards older men... you never know!
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-29 16:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-10-29 15:32:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that was pretty fucking great.
___________________
Thanks
One could debate the tact of a thirty year old boy checking out 19 year old girls all day, but that will just be between me and my conscience.
I certainly wouldn't debate it mate
"I get older, they stay the same age...."
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-27 22:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha.....lordofuck......good one
still, that penny-pincher's got his shit together for a 'young'n'
rock on dude!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-27 19:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just watch out for Mr. Kinison's class
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-10-27 15:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
meh. It isn't that hard to make decent money. Good for you for going back to school. The best idea is to work and do school within walking distance of home. Even if rent is more, the time you save is priceless.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-10-27 08:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Remember to bang up the corporate ladder. Not down.
Submitted by DrBenway0 (user info) at 2005-10-27 07:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At least when you write your autobiography you can always have radiologist, worked in a fcatory, sold smokes. Do you ever notice how authors love to list off the quirky shitty jobs they did before they got famous, as if it lends them some street cred. +2 for having the guts to do it. -2 ( to the establishment) for the huge student loans you americans always seem to have to rack up to get a decent job.
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-10-27 04:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lordofuck
Your words are like magic , holy shit ,make a post with all your advice it's goin to be gold !!
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-27 02:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're only getting the +1 because you took the leap and got into school finaly.
Here is a tip though, get rid of your internet connection and just gank internet access from stolen log in names or wireless network.
Move closer to one of the two places, work or school. Luckily my school and work are right next to each other... I then moved a mere walk from school. The rent is 150 dollars more a month, but I save 300 dollars a month in fuel costs.
I probably don't need to give you food tips, you've been doing that part for awhile.
If you make a lot of long distance phone calls (like myself), get rid of the home phone (as long as you are leaching internet via wireless or actually pay for cable internet) and go to cellular only. I haven't had a home phone in 5 years. Shit in my area (south FL) we have a cell service that is a flat 40 bucks a month with unlimited calling and unlimited long distance... the service is patchy out west but as long as you're in the city it is amazing!
You don't need cable! TV is a fucking sin!
The graveyard shift is your best friend. Work until 730 AM get off and go to school. Come home and pass out and get great sleep before work. It is wonderful for running errands too and it keeps you from going out at night and blowing money. I have been working graveyard since I was kicked out of my parents house at 16. At 22 years old I make 15 dollars an hour and getting a raise next month!
and this one will catch you flack from everyone but it truly works (unless you're in the north). A scooter. These fuckers get like 80 miles to the gallon. My buddy did this for a few years to pay off his school loans, his house and bad credit from an accident in the Marines. He sold that house afterward and bought 2 houses and a Toyota Prius... debt free too!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-27 02:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but kudos to you for going out and getting your poop in a group.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-27 02:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to go out on a limb here.
You have smoked copious amounts of ganja in your day?
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-10-26 23:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Improper use of 'tact'. Learn grammar and proper word usage while you are in college.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-10-26 23:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On second thought...with my temperament, the last thing I need is a deadly weapon in my hand...
...UNLESS IT'S MY GINORMOUS COCK! TEHEYEYEAHHH!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-10-26 23:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh...yea, I need to go to school too, but I want to learn something uselful...
...like fencing. Not the barbed wire kind...the 'cut yo balls off if you look at me grrl one more time' kind.
Damn right.
Then I'll pick a fight with Bruce Dickinson.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-10-26 23:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hear you. I'm twenty six and just went back this semester. I'm entering as a junior, so I have 2 years to go, plus graduate studies. I'm actually thinking about adding a second major, god help me. The two majors are completely different, so if I did add that second major I suppose I'd really be asking for trouble. Literature and Zoology have totally different requirements. Ah fuck me. I'm screwed if I do. I want to add it though. I really do.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for peeze
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:28:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
When you get your degree/licence, go for the job of going from bed to bed in a hospital
taking 'pictures' of the post operative bone status of patients who can't be moved.
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Oooo, that sounds fun! As long as my inner softie doesn't hold me back.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh, out of all those words I had to look up you pick on peice...next time I'll spell it peeze just to piss ya off.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you get your degree/licence, go for the job of going from bed to bed in a hospital
taking 'pictures' of the post operative bone status of patients who can't be moved.
The freedom of movement, the amount of pain you can inflict and the money you'll make will
make your head spin.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:26:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to take control. Good luck dude.
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Thanks. I'll be needing it.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you spelled piece, "peice"
+2 molesting 19 year olds though.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to take control. Good luck dude.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-10-26 22:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'm not reading all of that
+2 Rodney