bag of human shit in a microwave (4315 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.52 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by colin devine <colin.at.winstonsdog.com> (View user info) at 2003-05-21 16:14:52 EDT
so has anyone else seen what happens when you put a
bag of human shit in a microwave? i have. i went to a
frat party with a couple of friends a little while back. first
of all, i'd like to point out the fact that we hate fraternities
and all the bullshit the do and stand for.
that being said, for some reason that god only knows, we went to
this fraternity party. the events that transpired next will forever
be burned iin my memory. the second we walked in the door, we recieved
the expected "i'm a frat brother" dickhead attitude. so, we returned
the gesture with our "were gonna make the next few hours hell for you" attitude.
first of all, one guy we were with came up with the brilliant idea to start
kicking holes in the dry wall throughout the house when they weren't looking.
these guys had no fucking clue. these magic holes kept appearing through out
their house and all they had to do to figure out who did it was to take a look
at the trail; of dry wall that lead directly to my friends shoes. idiots.
while that was going on, another friend smeared the words "fuck you" with shit
on at least 5 walls in th house. then we found a bottle of bleach, filled up our
solo cups, and proceded to test our artist abilities on their rugs. they noe have
a 5 foot by 5 foot skull forever bleached in their rug.
as we're insanly giggling at our magnificent work, another friend who just
arrived to the party, smoothly pulls out a ziplock bag filled with human shit
from his jacket pocket. genius... simply genius. off to the kitchen we go for
our grand finallly. open microwave door, insert poo, close door, set for 10
minutes, and exit kitchen. next thing you know, people are running out of the
kitchen, all of which are holding their nose, screaming "a bag off shit just
exploded in the microwave." we were all doubled over with laughter as the
dickheads through us out of their complete failure of a party. anyone having
party coming up this weekend?
User Reviews
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2004-03-14 06:45:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Noob is another term for Newb which is short for Newbie, meaning someone new to something.
Submitted by Verbal_Assassin (user info) at 2004-03-14 06:12:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't say I've laughed quite so hard, reading this recent banter between Bong, and C-dog. Fucking genious! I can hold it with the best of em', but shit, I love reading new material!
But hey, what the hell is a 'noob'?
Sounds like some made up shit to me, that your spurt out in the midst of a heated argument. And when someone asks what the hell that meant, some lame ass excuse follows, and then it carries and becomes a new 'word' or insult.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-14 04:54:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pissa!!!......Me and my mates have competitions like that at ppl's parties...see who can be the most destructive..heres a few of the things done:
Dialed phone sex line and left the phone off the hook for 3 hours (bout $6 a minute and they dont know till they get the phone bill a couple of months later...classic)
Stolen all the light globes and door knobs in the house
Thrown heaps of shit on their roof
Smashed their garden statues
Stolen furniture
in the future i am hoping to take a magnet to someones party sneak into the house and run it over everything electrical i can find :D
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-01-01 17:18:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You do realize you were bigger dicks than the frat guys, right?
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-01-01 17:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
eh..
Submitted by Drew Williams <turlough3.at.juno.com> at 2004-01-01 17:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am thrilled that someone has finally topped them at their own game. I only wish I had the balls to do something as daring as you did. The fraternities and sororities made my life a living hell. I suppose the only revenge I have had is I have played interference and oftentimes torpedoed their chances of getting hired. Unfortunately they still exist as does the school which was more a coconspirator than anything else and go largely unpunished. Hopefully the word goes out that one doesn't want a bunch of substance abusing, womanizing men as an employee.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-06-10 16:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-06-05 16:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Opstand (user info) at 2003-06-05 16:03:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
While I did find your post humorous, I can't say I condone the wanton, needless destruction of other's property just becasue they are different from you. I'm not a big fan of frats either, but I found it easier just to ignore them and go on living my life. They'll still have their lame-o parties, but if you don't pay them any attention you can spend your time on more productive things than playing in your own excrement.
Just like Hairsphincter said: Karma
Submitted by c-dog (user info) at 2003-06-03 14:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, BongZilla, my dick gets wet more than your
umbrella, fuck-nut. i have no reason to lie to a
bunch of people i don't know. if you were about
5'9", had nice round titties, and some nice D.S.L.'s
i might have a reason to lie. now settle down you
whiney little bitch, i got nothing against you.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-05-23 17:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for your story, because eveyrone knows you're nothing but a lying piece of shit.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-05-23 17:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah You're nothing but a no dick loser trying to make yourself look cool in front of everyone, on the internet nontheless. Oooohhh look at me, I like to go trash parties. What a fucking grand idea. I go to parties to have fun whether or not I like the person throwing the party. What? Go to a party that has potential to kickass (unless there is no liquor there, than fuck that) and fuck it up for everyone because I got a chip on my shoulder. What did you get dinged from some fraternity because youre a total dickwad? Yeah I;ve met guys like you, the assholes that have no place being involved in anything because you have no social skills. I still think your story is completely bullshit. Shit ,whatever but it seems as you enjoy that label as THAT GUY around school. Whatever floats your boat skipper, you fucking noob. You believe that you're this badass party destroyer, and I'll continue to believe you've never touched a female tit. Ass.
(Yes, some people in fraternities are dicks and treat people who arent in the fraternity dfifferent. Usually because assholes like You are like "Dude, Frats are gay!" Yeah well no shit people are going to look down on you.)
+2 for me because I own.
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-05-23 06:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you continue to be smart, I may consider giving you my autograph.
Submitted by bellauk (user info) at 2003-05-23 05:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
istaros - for once I agree
-2
I don't get frat's anyway we don't really have anything like that here very very odd
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-05-23 05:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow... the "anti-frat-boy" acts exactly like... a frat-boy.
Submitted by c-dog (user info) at 2003-05-22 14:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BongZilla - FUCK YOU, you shit-dick faggot.
you're the type of asshole who's parties we
go to to fuck your shit up. i have no pitty
for a bunch of dickheads who treat chicks like
shit, guys who aren't in their fraternity like
sub-humans, and think it's funny to do the
same shit to other peoples parties. all i know
about dungeons and dragons is that it's a cartoon,
i get laid just about every weekend, and i'm usually
already three sheets to the wind when i go out.
so why don't you throw a party, invite me, and you
can not believe it all you want, as i burn your
kitchen chairs in your fireplace, fill your toilet
with a whole roll of toilet paper, take a shit on top,
and flush, then wipe my ass with your tooth brush.
if you're lucky, i might even make my self vomit on your
girlfriend. do me a favor, slit your wrists and don't call for help.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-05-22 00:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by momanlad (user info) at 2003-05-21 21:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are the sort of person who annoys me the most. You went to a party you didn't want to be at because you didn't like the people, caused criminal damage, ruined a home, and wrecked a party. Why? Because you don't have enough friends to have your own party? Because you are a bunch of boring idiots?
All of them.
I am sending a bag of parkinson's your way.
Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2003-05-21 20:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will snap if I hear tomany more people swear on something that is holy to someone else.
Lets say your muslim, and I'm not.
If I say, "I swear on the koran." It means shit.
If I say, "I swear on [something holy to me]". Then it means something.
Sorry, pet peeve c-dog.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-05-21 20:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Karma.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-05-21 19:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Try the "upper deck" next time. All this entails is shitting in the top part of the toilet instead of the bowl. Then put the cover back on and let it sit there until they discover it.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-05-21 17:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
whoops
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-05-21 17:46:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't believe it. If you even tried that shit out one of our parties you'd get fucked up. There's way too many people to not see what your doing. You go to a party and proceed to be immature and a complete fuckhead after these guys let you in their house and most likely let you drink thier alcohol. I bet afterwards you and your dork friends went home sober, with no girls, to play dungeons and dragons. I hope you and your queer friends fucking choke.
Unless the fraternity was sorry, in which case they were probably bitches and too pussy to say anything to you guys.
In any case, thats real fucking inhospitable, and you pussies were THOSE GUYS that always come to parties and everyone is like how the fuck did they get in?
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-05-21 17:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to a frat party in Autstin this past semester. It was rush week. I told them that I was a freshman and I was rushing. All night they sucked up to me. They gave me all the alchohol I could handle, introduced me to everyone, took me to the back where they stashed the good drugs, and basically gave me royal treatment all night. It was pretty cool. I hate frats but I love getting fucked up around a bunch of horny, college girls.
Peace,
STREETPUNK
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-05-21 16:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was nasty and I don't in any way condone this, but maybe it's late in the day or maybe Razor's post about people shaving their naughty bits has me off center, but **a bag off shit just
exploded in the microwave** made me burst out laughing.
Submitted by c-dog (user info) at 2003-05-21 16:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
razor, i wish it wasn't true. the smell
of that shit still haunts me. i swear
on anything you hold holy. every last
bit is true. i have plenty more college
stories, but we will save them for another
rainy day.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-05-21 16:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't believe this story, but it still amused me.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-05-21 16:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations on sticking it to those fucks.