Sonnet 219: Mine ass, filled to brim with Tribbles' trouble (601 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: sonnets
Rating: 1.84 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2005-10-28 12:02:53 EDT
Time to cleanse the palate a little after tales of death and murder.
And so, a little "ripped from today's headlines" action...
Mine ass, filled to brim with Tribbles' trouble,
Knows well my enterprise is just for men:
When e'er I fire my photon, hot, I bag,
'Cause God knows where these aliens have been.
Mine eyes' gaze rests not upon Uhura,
Though chit and chat and shop we do sometimes,
Physicist pupils scan space for black holes
And penos filled with rich Ferengi slime.
My heart yearns - "beam me up" again, Scotty!
My stomach flutters - captain me, O Kirk!
My testes leap - meld, Vulcan prince, meld me!
I come naked, Bones - medic, do your work!
Some say that space is man's final frontier,
But clearly they've not had men up their rear.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-29 19:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, Betty White.
I should have known.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-29 17:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW, i got your answer.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-28 01:57:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-27 19:59:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Average Dan the Answer Man,
So I'm having sex with my girl, right? I mean rockin' that shit like I've got voodoo chili running through my veins. The shit's so good my neighbors are having cigarettes.
Anyway, I'm holding back my O-face, and looking down at my lovely dear when all of a sudden I see Bea Arthur's face. And I mean HDTV quality Bea Arthur face, airbrushed to blend with my girl's neck and skin tone.
The fucked up thing? It did it for me! I didn't blow my stack at the sight of her wrinkled quasi-male visage. I just kept right on railroading that heav'nly quim like Captain Lou Albano was shoveling coal into its burner.
Instead I janxed into a potted plant by the bed. Like always.
Man, those baby flowers sure do look a lot like me...
My question is.......should I have thought of Bea Arthur, or Rue McClannahan?
GodDAMN Blanche was such a slut!
Help!
Cheers,
Confused in O-Town
========================================================
Dear Confucious,
Despite popular belief, I have it on good word that Betty White (Rose Martin Lindstrom Nylund) is, by far, the sleeziest of teh bunch.
There are a couple of reasons why
1.) Her tits were the smallest, therefore they hang only to the top of her belly button rather than the top of her knees.
2.) She loves to talk dirty...that's hot.
3.) In her 112 years on this earth, she has fellated the equivalent of one half of the population of Asia Major.
4.) Her avid experience with the male peenos, has taught her much. If she so wished, she could make you shoot a load of boy butter, clear across a four lane highway. I can attest to that.
anyways, hope this helped you out.
with love,
A_D
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-29 00:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I should rename that little Satanic number "Unintentional Tribute to My Ex-Wife."
Ah, but she has her own little poem coming at some point, I'm sure - but not until I finish up the Supplebutt/Vaginass ballad.
Average Dan the Answer Man -- I'll definitely let you know the next time I'm heading down that way. Charlottesville and Richmond both work just fine.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-28 20:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-10-28 17:13:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're getting +2s for life for this:
Satan looked around his bathroom, said "I need a toilet seat"
Up to earth he looked and thought "Her face looks neat."
He put his arms around you and swooped you down to hell -
Satan's shitter's made of gold - I hear it's mighty swell.
He knew that you like golden showers, he knew you liked it wet,
He knew you gargled urine well, though you played hard to get.
He placed your face upon his throne and nailed it tight and true
He opened up your purséd lips to catch his piss and poo.
It broke our hearts to lose you but your death is not in vain
We always think of you, my sweet, when we pee down the drain.
If laughing at this damns us, well, then consider us all damned
But that means soon we'll piss on you in Satan's fiery land.
----------------------------------------------
Jesus orgasmatron,
I think I love you!
But seriously, we need to go out for some beers sometime soon. Charlottesville sound good?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-28 17:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woot!
My shitty responses to even shittier posts are worth something after all.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-10-28 17:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're getting +2s for life for this:
Satan looked around his bathroom, said "I need a toilet seat"
Up to earth he looked and thought "Her face looks neat."
He put his arms around you and swooped you down to hell -
Satan's shitter's made of gold - I hear it's mighty swell.
He knew that you like golden showers, he knew you liked it wet,
He knew you gargled urine well, though you played hard to get.
He placed your face upon his throne and nailed it tight and true
He opened up your purséd lips to catch his piss and poo.
It broke our hearts to lose you but your death is not in vain
We always think of you, my sweet, when we pee down the drain.
If laughing at this damns us, well, then consider us all damned
But that means soon we'll piss on you in Satan's fiery land.
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-10-28 15:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:44:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2Ferenghi!
-------
Ferenghi make me sick.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-28 15:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Sigh*
I don't watch Star Tr....forget it.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-10-28 15:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nerd
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-28 14:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Appearances, man, appearances.
Submitted by internetslacker (user info) at 2005-10-28 13:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but it says he's married...
(lol)
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-10-28 13:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another Orgasmatron post... another +2. This is getting old.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-10-28 13:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But they're so furry and cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2Ferenghi!
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:04:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Nature Boy +2
Woooooooooooooooooooo!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had to do some snooping to find that 'official Star Trek bio,' (because for the life of me I couldn't remember what his official job was) and some searching to find the names of some alien races. Note to self: never do a search for Star Trek again.
*Shudders*
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
engage.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I got it, Wildcat.
That's why I left the +2 in the proper form.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was gonna post on this but I have a story brewing.
+2 for the SF link. HILARIOUS!
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good, but Shlongy is still and anal wart.
You get it, right?
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Nature Boy +2
Woooooooooooooooooooo!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051028/ap_en_tv/people_george_takei_21
I kid. Always, I kid.
Good job, George.