The Farmhouse (578 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Fiction
Rating: 1.8 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2005-10-29 09:16:15 EDT
It seemed like an accident when it happened. Could we have known the outcome, could it have been set in stone? When it left, it was so long ago. We fled from the scene like it matter, and hid from everything that had any purpose. We never even looked back. That was probably the greatest act of cowardice I've seen. At the time it made me laugh. I laughed until the tears came. Such black thoughts set the pace of our little tragedy. A drama about existence and all the pettiness that comes with it.
I was the one who set fire to the farmhouse. You would wear the blame like a badge of honor, but all it would do is just wear you down. I know a little bit about that. You don't think I understand you? It's a hassle that you had to go and announce your intentions to the crowd. I love the fact that no one listened. It proves one of my theories. See, people are selfish, and they hate to believe in the opposite.
Do you hear them singing, my darling? Do you hear them bleating like sheep? We are the only ones who could have ever dug up the truth. We had a pact that was built on misery, a melancholy that was set deep in our youth. We didn't grow out of it, it merely grew with us. We were full of angst and rage like all adolescents. What use to be clumsy, we now wield like a sword. We cut through the huddled masses and stab it into our mission.
Yes, I know. My beautiful bastard, I was the one who burnt down the farmhouse. And all the while, you believed it was an act of defiance. How could you be so misguided, how could you be so gullible. I did it in honor of you. I did it in your name. I did it so that we could shine through out history as the two people that really mattered. I did it because I love you.
But now we know. You ran like a scared little rabbit, fleeing from the fox. You scampered all the way to the thing we always said was the worst. It was a deal with the devil, Mrs. Faustus. But my soul was the payment you offered. A river lined with lies, you sold me down. A grail filled with spittle was your reward. I hope you're so very proud.
You must know that such an establishment can not hold me. I'll break the bonds bound in the most basic of man's law. Then I will be the fox, my angel, and I will see you hustle away again. Like a drop of rain chases gravity to the ground, I will become the thing constantly behind you. My failure was found in the flames of that farmhouse. But you'll be the next to burn.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-10-30 00:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-29 19:51:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
No idea what happened here, but the presentation was good...
Submitted by LamRoKi (user info) at 2005-10-29 20:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-29 19:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No idea what happened here, but the presentation was good...a little confusing at times. But the mystery is half the fun!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-29 17:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The writing was great, but it gets confusing to have 4 first person inner dialog sections without any seperation besides a line break.
Maybe instead of ABAB, it could be AABB seperated by a ----------------
Just have made it read a little easier.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-10-29 14:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-29 12:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-10-29 11:58:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
didn't do it for me.
i think you write better in third person.
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Call me crazy, but I thought this jumped from first to second
to third person and back again. Still, it was good.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-10-29 11:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
didn't do it for me.
i think you write better in third person.
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-29 09:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yep see below...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-29 09:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW.
You amaze me. Excellent post.