The Beginning Of The End. Parts I and II (1281 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 2 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by missedthepointagain.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2005-10-29 15:19:32 EDT
Parts I and II ( Amended - Please disregard previous post "Intro". )
My phone is ringing,
but there's absolutely no way I'm doing anything about it right now.
Not yet anyway...
I roll over and ignore it...
15 minutes later and its still going - this time I open my eyes
and realise that I have no fucking idea where I am.
This is not my bed.
The room is vaguely familiar - I know I've seen it before.
There's a good chance that this isn't the first time I've woken up here either.
Fuck knows I know, I shouldn't be here - this much is already clear.
I'm guessing that it's much too late to start worrying about that now.
A brief and awkward exchange with her flatmate on the stairs.
Somebody, who I'm sure as shit, knows just how much of a shallow cunt I really am.
There's this thin veneer of tolerance and civility but it's certainly not there for my sake,
and it doesn't hide much.
I like her... even more for the fact that she sees through the facade and doesn't like me.
We've got something in common.
She closes the front door behind me.
Walking home, and I get three steps into it before it becomes patently clear that I'm still drunk, - shit faced; there are definitely major co-ordination problems.
I'm going to need some help - and I know just where I'm going to find it
Fragments of last night are falling slowly into place.
Piece by piece,
The picture however, is still far from complete.
I have some idea of what's transpired.
What I do know - is that this is not going to be pretty.
My only hope is that she hasn't devoured the rest of yesterday's gear.
With her endless supply of vitriol and a head full of high grade coke, Jessica is capable of just about anything.
On a bad day, this cunt would have Satan shitting himself, with just a sideways glance.
I pause and take deep breath before turning the key in the front door.
But nothing can prepare me for the torrent of shit that will be fan-bound within the next hour.
My watch says 6.45 but the bedroom is already empty and I can hear the shower running.
I figure this gives me around 20 minutes to get my head ready for what's coming.
I make a beeline for the walk in wardrobe there seems to be the best part of a gram left in a small pile on top of her Powerbook.
I rack it and within seconds a third of it has disappeared up my nose.
Upstairs now I pour two shots of vodka, neck them and smoke a cigarette.
Anything to postpone the imminent.
Switching the coffee maker on, I stumble back downstairs - bouncing off every wall on the way.
Back in the bedroom and I'm trying to unbutton my shirt, but for some reason my fingers are no longer co-operating with my brain.
My tongue feels way too big for my mouth and I'm shaking.
I'm trying to talk myself down here, but the words are coming out as gibberish.
My heart is doing triple time and my face seems to have departed company from the rest of my body.
The limbs and mind are no longer connected and I'm in some fucked up space where I am doing and trying to say things before I've even though about them.
(Those of you who have experienced this, will recognise what I'm going through here, - and those of you who haven't - should avoid it)
I manage to remove my jeans and shoes then sink slowly and carefully onto the bed.
The only thing I am aware of now, is an acute tightness in my chest and the fact that the room is spinning.
I lie down and close my eyes.
When I open them, she is leaning in the doorway staring at me.
Not a word...
The look she shoots, pins me back to the bed...
I feel myself shrink into the pillow.
Dropping the towel from around her waist she bends over picks up a bra and slowly puts it on.
Turning to face me, she crosses the room - slowly and purposefully, like she's on a catwalk,
Her eyes do not leave mine for an instant.
She is drilling holes in me.
Pausing momentarily to press play on the CD player - It's the soundtrack to Pi.
Now I love this album, but anyone who has heard it, will understand why it is not helping my predicament.
She is of course, well aware of this, but it's not so much premeditated, it's instinctive. Automated, she's doing what she does best.
Psychological deconstruction.
Think of it as pulling a loose thread and watching something unravel until it is just a piece of string.
Still wet, she straddles me; the fingers of her right hand gently trace a line from my forehead down to my cheek where her nails curl into my skin and her thumbnail digs up into the underside of my jaw.
It hurts
She kicks her hips forward into mine with a twisted smirk, as if to get my attention.
"What's the matter sweetheart? (Mock sympathy) Cat got your tongue?"
She knows where I was last night.
Silence...
I am sweating.
"No?...Maybe it's just the Risperidone that I cut with your coke Casanova ..."
(Her anti-psychotic medication)
She giggles like the innocent little girl that she is not, my brain recoils in horror.
"You cunt"
By the time these words leave my lips, they are a garbled mess, and completely unintelligible
Time seems to have bent, twisted, and stopped altogether.
My consciousness is hanging by a thread.
Track 6. Massive attack's "Angel"
Reaching down with her free hand she guides my somehow half erect cock into her.
The contrast between this; the sharp pain from her thumbnail dug into underside of my chin, and her suffocating grip around my throat almost make me sick.
She pins my left wrist behind my head.
And all the while with that shit eating smile on her face.
Catatonic...
And she is loving every fucking second of this. Her true nature is taking over.
I am terrified, and she is getting well and truly off on it, we are not making love,
This isn't even sex.
I'm being fucked
Wether I like it or not.
Her rhythm slows with the music; she lowers her mouth to the left side of my lower neck,
ever so softly at first but I've got a fair idea what's on the menu. My body is so week that I can barely turn my head.
I can feel her teeth tighten on the skin just to the point where it begins to hurt. She holds the pressure and her hips gather pace with the song.
I know what's coming.
My head is swimming...
Her thighs contract as she comes and she slams her mouth shut with everything she's got. There is an audible pop and her teeth puncture my skin.
The pain is unbelievable,
It hauls me, kicking and screaming back to near-full consciousness.
I feel the blood running slowly down my shoulder on to the sheets.
She slowly lets go and gently rocks back,
arching her body and with a self satisfied smile. Tossing her head, a guttural sound oozes from the back of her throat Her grip on me loosens.
I gasp for breath...
She licks a smear of blood from her upper lip like a reptile and laughs softly to herself.
I'm finally getting the full picture on just how sick this girl really is.
A few minutes pass
Not a word.
I slowly turn my face away and look at a photo of us on the bedside table; it was taken when we first met.
Things weren't always like this,
We were in love once.
That was a long time ago
This has now become some twisted kind of experiment to see who will break first, a race of attrition.
A race she's winning.
She gets off me slowly, saunters back to the clothes rack, picks a skirt and continues to get dressed as I slowly attempt to stand.
The room seems to be on a 45 degree angle and I cling to the bed for a moment, then straighten up staggering towards the door.
"I'll be back from Prague on Thursday" she says cooley - almost fully dressed.
"We'll talk about this out then,"
She turns her back to me; head tilted and starts brushing her hair.
"And in the mean time, don't try to fuck me at my own game jack...
I'm better at it than you'll ever be."
I say nothing.
I make it into the bathroom, turn the shower on and drop, letting the water run over me.
My neck is pissing blood and I watch it mix with the water.
I close my eyes, reality has slipped through my fingers and dissapears down the drain with the water and blood.
My mind and body are screaming at me to stop this...
But something a lot further up the food chain isn't have a bar of it
(to be continued)
User Reviews
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-11-22 01:47:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That black truffle butter was awesome.
I thought the highlights were the signature dish, the sweetcorn soup, the beef and the strawberry shortcake.
The lowlight was the spatchcock, it just didnt grab me.
Overall, fucking awesome.
What did you think?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-11-19 12:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-11-15 22:26:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:34:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
the 19th is the only day between now and the 9th of december that i actually have anything on. I'm going to a friend's 21st at Tetsuya's, the Sydney restaurant with 3 michelin hats that was recently ranked 4th in the world.
Cunts.
--------------
Fucking hell!
Guess i'll see you there...
not for a 21st,
I've got family thing on there same day!
______________
Were you wearing a matt beige Japanese-esque dress? Or a black dress? I was the dashing youth in the shiny silk light blue shirt.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-01 07:13:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-11-01 04:26:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want caes' babies.
***************************
Goodness me.
Really and truly? The boy plays with dolls and the other one likes torturing flies, so I'll sell them to you for cheap.
Just kidding, I have no children. But I will mail you my sperm if you wish.
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-11-01 05:07:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll fight ya for 'em...
Presume you have contact details?
Will forward something to both of you.
Exactly the type of people/talent that I needed feedback from.
This is sort of help does not go un-noticed, nor unapreciated.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-11-01 04:26:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want caes' babies.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-01 00:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This IS good -- though I was on the fence on whether to give it a +1 or +2. Spam asked me to review this, so I'm going to be a little more critical that I would usually be.
First up, I got thrown by your formatting. Every time you break for a paragraph, you make a subtle break in your story. If you have a paragraph break after every sentence, it does two things: creates a jarring go-stop-go-stop cadence, and robs you of the possibility of adding emphasis to a particular line by using a pause...because your whole story is nothing but pauses.
I liked the concept -- I liked how you wrote the girl, and how she plays games with the narrator. I also liked the little mention of the flatmate he encountered in the hall. Nice touch, very realistic.
"It hurts " -- I don't know if this was intentional or not, but I like the lack of punctuation here. Adds to the sense of confusion from the speaker.
"(Mock sympathy)" -- I thought that was a little redundant. You've made it pretty clear that she's not a sympathetic individual. Sometimes you dont' want to spell everything out for the reader.
"Wether" -- Should be wHether. There were a couple of other typos in there as well.
"But something a lot further up the food chain isn't have a bar of it " -- That needs a punctuation mark. Also, I don't really understand the 'bar of it' bit, but that might be a cultural thing. I've never heard that expression before.
All told, I really don't have a lot of negative things to say -- everything aside from the paragraph breaks is just nit-picking. It's an interesting view of a twisted relationship and I'm curious to see where you go with it.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-10-31 13:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Spam was right.
This is good.
-Dave
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-10-31 07:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff.
btw- thanks for the multiple read/rates. i love when folks read the older stuff. now post some more, so you'll have "old stuff" for me to read!
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-10-31 05:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck, this was good. This may well be the best thing I've read on Uber.
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-10-30 22:41:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is kick ass! disturbing, descriptive and vampire sex! could it get any better?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-30 22:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-30 21:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Spam !
NOW GO TO BED...
Its late - and we dont want you
being late for work tomorrow...
Or do we?
haaahahaha
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-30 16:24:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad to see this getting the rating it deserves.
Submitted by parzival (user info) at 2005-10-30 14:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-30 09:29:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS.
Nicely done AB.
Very, very nicely done.
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-29 22:32:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks mate -
I'm glad you liked it.
These have been my first attempt to write
anything of substance, and I wasn't sure
how it would go over?
Submitted by FluffDude (user info) at 2005-10-29 22:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is awesome, i like your sensory details. you are truly the kicker of all assses
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-29 22:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-29 21:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For those who were curious
http://www.erowid.org/pharms/risperidone/risperidone.shtml
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-10-29 16:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish people would scream in vampire movies when they get bitten, it would make it more real like your story. Instead they coo and ooo like having an orgasm. Your story reminds me of "The Hunger" with David Bowie even though yours wasn't about vampires. Wow, good story!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-10-29 16:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-10-29 16:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
impressive
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-10-29 15:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that was pretty fucking great.
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-29 15:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Massive thanks to Sam re help with Format,
and for showing me that it's ok to have more than
one sentence in a paragraph!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-29 15:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
weirdo