This Is Very, Very Gay (1172 hits)
Category: Politics -> AfghanistanRating: 0.5 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by icarus1987 (View user info) at 2005-10-30 11:18:41 EST
So, you didn't like the ending to my big fat gay vampire freewrite?? Just because it didn't contain any of the original characters or draw the plot to a close, or even really concern the original plot??
You people
Who your fucking stories to make sense
And contain somewhat consistent characters
And follow a logical plotline
That makes sense
And doesn't jump randomly between a modern midwestern town and a blasted post-apocalyptic wasteland
And end with something that draws the story archs to a close....
FINE!
Have another one.
I hope it makes you... well, not choke, but maybe cough or gag a bit.
"Wow," Said Waxy Wendel, "So it turns out that you guys have just become Big Fat Gay Vampires to prevent the new Queen Big Fat Gay Vampire, who has suddenly and mysteriously taken over the Ambercrombie&Fitch Clan, from gaining world control."
"Yes." Said Big Fat Gay Vampire Reginald and Craig, who were just then rounding third base.
"You see the difficulty," said the Creature from the Uptown Lagoon, "is that nobody really knows who this new Queen chappy is!"
"MMMMM-BOP!" Crooned Transsexual Frankenstein as the Phantom of the Bi-Curious Opera tried his best to get Wendel's attention by swinging his rotund girth about on a chandelier.
"But if you guys aren't the Big Fat Gay Vampire Queen, then who is?" Asked Wendel.
"I am!" Said the Fat Hispanic teen. "I was so hurt when Big Fat Gay Vampire Reginald abandoned me, leaving me alone on the apartment patio right when he was about to bite me all over the face. All because the mood was broken by some dumb bunny."
"Up yours, homo!" Cried Josh Bunny, who was immediately arrested for racism.
"I was so alone." The teen whimpered, "But I worked hard, and plied my way through the ranks, until finally the guy at Walmart made me Big Fat Gay Vampire Queen!" They suddenly noticed he was purple and glittery and about the size of Montana, with pink triangles tattooed all over his face.
"Gee," said Big Fat Gay Vampire Craig, "I guess, because of all these recent plot twists and change of alliances and stuff, that we'll have to become vampires who use their special powers to hunt other, more evil vampires."
"Who would have seen that coming." Said Big Fat Gay Vampire Reginald.
"You come back here, you gerbil I genetically engineered to look just like Cher!" Cried Radio Shack Mac, chasing the gerbil across the stage.
"OMG THAT IS SOOOOOO HOT!" Cried Hispanic Teen, who, having indirectly complimented a female, died and fell on California, crushing the entire cast of The OC.
"I guess this just proves that we can all get along." Said Wendel, "That just because some of us are straight doesn't mean we have to be narrow."
Then they all turned on Waxy Wendel, biting him on the face and buttocks until he was so gay he made Liberace come back from the dead and kill everyone.
THE END!!!!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-31 07:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Auto +2 for all. For me, a n00b, getting on B@W!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77872
I love Uber!
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-10-30 15:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i dont really like the concept of a big fat gay vampire. >=F
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-10-30 13:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This made my head hurt. And suddenly I feel the need for Visine.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-10-30 13:31:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-30 11:25:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-10-30 11:23:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Not "WAH"; fat gay vampires.
Haven't you been paying attention to ANYTHING?
__________________________________________________
No attention to YOU, fer Chrissakes.
_____________________
That doesn't even make sense. If you're not paying attention to me, then why do you keep rating my posts?
You big silly.
Submitted by starshine (user info) at 2005-10-30 12:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
plus two for persistence.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-30 11:25:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-10-30 11:23:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Not "WAH"; fat gay vampires.
Haven't you been paying attention to ANYTHING?
__________________________________________________
No attention to YOU, fer Chrissakes.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-10-30 11:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not "WAH"; fat gay vampires.
Haven't you been paying attention to ANYTHING?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-30 11:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I think a big old "WAH" would be appropriate here.