Maybe not the best but pretty damn good 1: Video games (715 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.89 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Toejam (View user info) at 2005-10-30 13:47:55 EST
Toejam & Earl
Come on. Undeniable. For all of you lameasses that don't know what all of the hype is about, pull up yer fucking chairs and bust out some popcorn. Two aliens, one named Toejam, the other is Earl. They're chillin on their home planet of Funkatron, bored as hell and they wanna get ill. So they jump in the fo' put the juice to their ride. Wait thats Eazy-E. They jump in their electric orange spaceship and go cruizin round' the universe. All of a sudden Earl gets bored of being in the bitch seat and decides he wants to drive. He was'nt doin so bad at first. He would bob and weave through and around the giant chunks of space rock. And then he hit one. Bad Earl. AHH! They spiral right tword a mysterious green, blue, and white planet we all know and love. So when they crash, their fly ride gets all fuckered up. It breaks into ten pieces that are scattered very far and wide. So now you take the roll of Toejam or Earl or both if your friend wants a piece of the action.
The game was released in 1991 by Sega of America Inc. It's for the Sega Genesis, 1-2 players. The game plays as such: After you wage war with the extensive options, whooooo options, you start out on the first level of a very temporaly distorted Earth. You've either picked Toejam, who will appear as a 4 foot tall alien with red skin, 3 feet adorned with hip sneakers, two eyestalks, no face to speak of or with for that matter, and a sweet gold medallion, Or, Earl. Earl will appear as a Fatassed orange alien with cool shades, two small antenae, Blue boxers with red spots, no hands. Toejam has less health but walks faster. The object of the game is to find all ten pieces that were scattered about ELASRDTH. Along the way Toejam and Earl have to adjust to the odd customs and things they encounter. Presents contain items that you can use to fight enemys, avoid enemys,and even money! Food can regain your health but watch out moldy bread and cheese are some food items that can harm you. Earthlings are the enemys. They can appear in many forms like cupids, ladies with shopping carts, NERRRRRDS, and other perfectly normal earth people. Sorry, no ghey uber menz here.
The environment can be dangerous too. You advance through levels by taking elevators. Each level has an edge. You can definitly fall off of the edge. Some levels have water. You can drown or get eaten by sharks here. Quicksand, all sand is quicksand. Don't stand around too long, or something bad might happen. This game is truly an experience everyone can and should enjoy. Unless you're a whiney bitch. Then you can go to hell. Theres lots more but I've already enlightened y'all enough. Now go and download it.
Final verdict:+2
I was gonna put up some pics but im to lazy.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Definitely more entertaining than Mario.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-31 07:44:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for all. For me, a n00b, getting on B@W!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77872
I love Uber!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-10-30 22:34:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that game was light years ahead of its time, in regards to its charisma and charm.
Submitted by EmptyRobot (user info) at 2005-10-30 22:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like the dentists the most
"AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Submitted by BoxcarChild (user info) at 2005-10-30 20:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great game, the hoola dancers are my favorite part.
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2005-10-30 17:44:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The memories I have of that game are hazy but i do still have this undeniable yearning to play it...
Submitted by XFile (user info) at 2005-10-30 16:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, that game fucking rocked. The sequel was even weirder.
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-10-30 15:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha i remember playin this game dropping jars and all the fucked shit. lol it's a classic platformer
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2005-10-30 14:15:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what does it mean that the creators spell "Earth" by adding 'LSD?'
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-10-30 13:52:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love that game!!