Rowanth (615 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <dretta-love.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-10-30 19:30:04 EST
Inspired by http://www.ubersite.com/m/78003
I wish that in Gaelic, your name meant magical. Blessed. But it doesn't.
I'm not good with words, and I don't know how you'll feel about my breaking into your circle here, but some things have to be said, and some things I just can'th say, like the word "force," which comes out as "forth" because of my lisp. I think them, but I don't know how to make those syllables come out of my mouth. But the year I've known you has felt magical. You've made me strong, and your huge paycheck has made me feel protected.
It's my job to provide for you, love you, and to bend you over and smack that phat ass, but those are all the things that you've done for me. When I've been down, you do "our little secreth" fantasy and pick me up. When I've been alone, your panties comforted me. You lead a crusade every day to score some smack and make my life a little brighter, and in return, I forthed you to work at Captain D's, I've broken your good credit rating, and I've demolished your Impala. I don't come through when I thay I will, and I never keep my promiseths. And boy, have I made promiseths. I'll say anything to keep you, because I can'th make meth without your kitchen.
YOU'RE so much more perfecth than I deserve, and I worry that you'll see the loser that I really am and then you won't buy me beer anymore. And my life will be dark and lonely and wasthed because I can'th forth you to pay for it.
You work all day, then come home smelling like hushpuppies and clean and take care of me. And I never reciprocathe. I can never look pasth my own nose because I'm always snorting lines, even though you're so honesth. I can'th s'plain it. On the rare occasion I try to be as good to you as you are to me, I half-assth it and manage to make things worsth. I know you cry at night. You think I don't hear you since I'm having phone sexth on your dime, but I do.
I love your job. I don't tell you enough, and I know I should. I'm going to try. You blessth me.
User Reviews
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-12-07 02:24:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was pretty bosh..
but this one made me laugh harder
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1133929812953524066#1729778
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-11-17 20:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
very bizarre
have you read in my skin by kate holden?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-31 18:04:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-31 17:13:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
too much work, make it easier for me
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-10-31 02:30:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why this got better reviews than the other, but that's ok. It's my last night on uber, except when i come back in a week a +2 everyone who gives me good reviews. Had fun here!
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-30 20:36:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment - too busy laughing
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-10-30 20:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is to offset the "assume the position" -2s a first post usually gets. Airborne cows++
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-10-30 19:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wish I knew why my email is exposed instead of Wisher.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-30 19:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment