Hire me. Really. I want a job. (1437 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ainkara (View user info) at 2005-10-31 04:07:14 EST
I'll get right to the point here. Is there anyone in Perth looking to hire anyone? I'd like to work in an office environment, and I think if you've been on here for any length of time, you would see that I'm fairly smart, and a nice person to boot.
I don't have any experience, but can pick things up very quickly. This is especially true for computers, as I spend a lot of time on mine.
If you want my resume, email me at ainkara.at.gmail.com and I'll send it out. Although considering this is Uber, that probably won't happen.
I'm sick of looking and applying for jobs that don't get back to me at all. I need full time hours. I should warn you though that in about June next year I'm going to be going to America.
So thanks for reading. Please give me a job. Oh and don't say you'll hire me for sex, I need an actual job.
I'm done being boring now.
Have a picture of a puppy. It's all alone... So sad. So cute.
User Reviews
Submitted by bandphotographer (user info) at 2005-11-09 20:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You ARE fairly smart, and a nice person to boot!
+2 Fairy
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-03 19:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is one pissed looking pup
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-11-03 19:23:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 husky
+2 bec
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would hire you in a heartbeat.
If I could hire people.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-01 06:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 21:29:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Will, of course I'll visit New York. It's New York.
And a few people have heard my voice. Apparently my accent is cool. I'm still not sure if I believe that.
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I think Berty's suggestion of sex phone operator in the States is the best idea. Mix in sexy foriegn voice and you'll make a fortune. I'd consider it if I were you.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 21:29:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Will, of course I'll visit New York. It's New York.
And a few people have heard my voice. Apparently my accent is cool. I'm still not sure if I believe that.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-10-31 16:28:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PokeyPecker
That puppy has a large penis.
I need a job too.
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I agree.
Me too.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-10-31 16:16:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing I can do for you over here in Florida, but if you'll be in North Carolina, I'll be there soon. I can get you an American service industry job.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-10-31 11:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:50:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:37:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Operative? Like a spy?
'I want to take your clothes off...'
'Yeah yeah me too... now how much fertilizer did you say you bought?'
------------
If you want. You can be Ainkara the Sex Spy:
Ainkara: This is Ainkara to control, the Target has entered the apartment. Maintaining surveilance.
Lonely dude: Uh... This is control, whats she doing. Is she pretty?
Ainkara: *rolls eyes* Oh yeah control she's got a smooth and tight little ass. She's getting naked and going to the shower. Oh she's all soapy and wet control. She's rubbing her breasts. I'm not sure how to proceed control, request instruction.
Lonely dude: *breathing heavily* Oh er, I think you should get a feel for the situation if you no what I mean. I think you er, need to feel what the target is feeling.
and so on.
You'd be ace.
=====
ahahahahahahahaahaahahahahahahhahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahah
funny.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-31 11:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
How would you describe your blow job skills? I'm considering you for a position under me as we speak.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-10-31 10:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 for the Husky with the GIANT COCK!
-8 for this blog-esque whiney post of shit.
-587 because other than a nice set of tits, you got nothing...god luck with that.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-10-31 10:33:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Dole Office Clerk: [to a gladiator] Now listen this is your last week of unemployment insurance, either you kill somebody next week or we're going to have to change your status.
-History of the World Part 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 10:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-31 10:13:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that is a spledid idea
I can't wait for video phone sex operators
Oh wait, did I say that out loud?
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There's no shame in wanting to galumph to a womans voice. Afterall masturbation is always more fun with another person there, just like computer gaming really.
Has anyone heard Ainkara's voice? Does she have a sexy voice? I imagine she does, most women do.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-31 10:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that is a spledid idea
I can't wait for video phone sex operators
Oh wait, did I say that out loud?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 10:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-31 10:07:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty..........what are you talking about?
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Ainkara's new job as selling sex over the phone. In reality she'll just be wandering about making dinner and wearing a headset or she can call her boyfriend over and engage in exciting intercourse whilst titilating some stranger on the phone.
The mind boggles really.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-31 10:07:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty..........what are you talking about?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:37:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Operative? Like a spy?
'I want to take your clothes off...'
'Yeah yeah me too... now how much fertilizer did you say you bought?'
------------
If you want. You can be Ainkara the Sex Spy:
Ainkara: This is Ainkara to control, the Target has entered the apartment. Maintaining surveilance.
Lonely dude: Uh... This is control, whats she doing. Is she pretty?
Ainkara: *rolls eyes* Oh yeah control she's got a smooth and tight little ass. She's getting naked and going to the shower. Oh she's all soapy and wet control. She's rubbing her breasts. I'm not sure how to proceed control, request instruction.
Lonely dude: *breathing heavily* Oh er, I think you should get a feel for the situation if you no what I mean. I think you er, need to feel what the target is feeling.
and so on.
You'd be ace.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:49:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
WHEN YOU COME TO THE USA, VISIT NEW YORK.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll hire the dog.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow WOW im glad i dont have your email cos i just sent a bunch of SUGGESTIve pics to my ex im glad you didnt cop the same visual assualt.
YOU = pretty. Game over.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:40:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit. I've been here over 2 years. I just realised that. Woah. I deserve cake.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Operative? Like a spy?
'I want to take your clothes off...'
'Yeah yeah me too... now how much fertilizer did you say you bought?'
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:31:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Phone sex operative. The one job any woman can do, of any age.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lyn, it's not the nanny-ing I'd mind so much as the walking to Mandurah since I don't have a car or license. Although I'm getting there, I have another lesson on Wednesday, and I'm driving home from work all the time and about the place. AROUND OTHER CARS. FUCK YEAH.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
CANCEL THAT I'VE BEEN DRINKING IM NOT TO BE TRUSTED
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:23:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Im drunk enough to say id hire ainkara any day of the week including thursday.
lets put it this way, i would buy whatever you are selling off you. no matter how shit. so you should go into retail because when a cutie starts the spiel im sold, sold, sold.
Enough of the ego stroking.
+2.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-10-31 06:45:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
move to Sydney they have jobs there, as well as showing signs of actual civilisation
___________
Fuck yourself.
Bec, you know I'd hire you, but I'm fairly sure you don't want to be a nanny to Bumble and Fang the Feral Wondertwins.
Also, I could only pay you in cat biscuits and fresh herbs. I'm talking coriander and lemongrass here, top of the line shit. No parsley.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, sweety, I sell wine in my current job. Along with food mind you... But why would I go back down the line and pick fruit? They have backpackers to do that.
I hate my job... Stupid waitressing in a country that doesn't give tips... *sigh* Really, I need to get out of there, that place is killing me.
If anyone from work reads this, don't fire me. I still like it. Really.
*winks to the rest of the Uber community*
Yeah, you all know what that means.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 09:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well seeing as you are not answering me I will simply assume you are Australian. Australia is well known for it's up and coming wine industry which is gaining recognition around the world. Berty reccomends getting a job picking grapes and so on untill you have mastered all aspects of the vine growing/wine selling industry.
You will then be ready to start your own business.
I'm clearly a genius.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, alright. I shall place my immense knowledge of Employment Practices to tell you exactly what to do to start living on the breadline and 'wondering who you the fuck you are on a sunday morning'.
Firstly what is your nationality? Is it South African?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:48:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't hassle Bec, just call often, and ask "What've you got for me?" Saves you having to do the searching, they get paid for it. But meh, whatever works for you...
*shrug*
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Auto puppy/kiddie/cute kid +0
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:41:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Phuzzy, I'm not good at hassling. I feel bad.
Berty, that would be good but apparently that doesn't work the same here. I've been applying like crazy for a lot of things, and most of them don't even get back to me.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:38:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<insert inevitable 'there's an opening you can fill here, uh wait hang on that's not right' gag here>
Get a job in accountancy. They always need accountents and you can go in at the bottom and learn your way up. Either that or marry a rich, young, proffesional. You'll probably find a single one in your area on this very website.
<insert further inevitable gag about 'your area' here>
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:28:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Try to invest time talking and getting to know the regulars at the place you work now, as well. You'd be surprised how many contacts you can make, and opportunities that present themselves, just by getting to know your customers when you're in the hospitality industry. Keep your eyes & ears open, and ALWAYS be on their side. You'll snap up job contacts like crazy.
Also, even though they're genrally part of a very cut-throat industry, try a recruitment office. Fudge, not invent, your CV a little, send it to them, tell them to keep your options really wide open, and keep hasslin' them. Don't rely on it on it's own, but as a background option you might strike something lucky. Just keep hassling them, phone every couple of days and ask them what they've found for you. After a while they'll just want you to stop pestering them, so they'll actually try harder to find you work...
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:10:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Xcuses, no idea where yet. I'm going over there for Camp America, to work at the summer camps. Then I'm gonna travel around for a bit I think. Yay for me! The boyfriend might be coming too, not sure yet.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-10-31 07:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats an interesting definition of large you've got there pokey.
+2 fellow job seeker
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-31 07:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for all. For me, a n00b, getting on B@W!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77872
I love Uber!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-10-31 07:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You've got the computer. Get a good video camera and a website. Offer online video tours of interesting places around Perth (I've been there, I know they exist). You could probably get the local Tourism Board to pay for the production. Sell the "this is a wonderful place to visit" cut to that same Tourism Board, and then sell online downloads or DVDs of the "Coolest pubs tour" or "Where the men are men and so are the women" tour or the "Where the American/Asian/European tourists should shop" tour (perhaps some of the shopkeepers will help the project funding in order to have their stores featured in those) or the "The truth about Vegemite" tour or whatever. Your job will be to go to cool places and be seen having fun. Someone's got to do it.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-10-31 06:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
move to Sydney they have jobs there, as well as showing signs of actual civilisation
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-31 05:51:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw the 'boob's post....I suggest stripping for a bit (sorry)
Oh, and you said you were coming to America- where abouts?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-10-31 05:49:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I already offered to hire you lass, but you're allllll the way over there, so...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-31 05:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Move to the big city, get a job as a waitress in a cocktail bar and then just wait for your fate to unfold.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that's white hair C1nds....
What's the matter with you? Obviously haven't looked at enough dog penes. For shame.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 dog wee
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:45:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
KANINE PHALLUS ALERT
KANINE PHALLUS ALERT
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KANINE PHALLUS ALERT
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KANINE PHALLUS ALERT
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:23:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, the puppy looks cuter when the picture is smaller...
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:16:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Har har puppy peener!
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:16:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That dogs about to rape something
... You can see it in his eyes... And his doodle
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:16:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That puppy has a large penis.
I need a job too.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Puppy looks evil, but awesome
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-10-31 04:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Gah! Big picture!