More stuff from my desk at work, and why I hate it or don't hate it. (1681 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.85 on 61 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FartSmeller (View user info) at 2005-11-01 11:08:45 EST
Continued from: http://www.ubersite.com/m/78099
User Reviews
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2007-03-29 04:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-27 07:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/79884
You are sort of famous.
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2005-11-07 16:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for the pictures
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-03 19:28:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeaa baby
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-11-03 19:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-02 21:31:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FARTSMELLER,
YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THIS POST ASAP: http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1130982084247018696
I'M PRETTY SURE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE ON THIS SITE, Nay, in the world, who would get the sheer genius of it!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 13:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
comment
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-02 13:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78227
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-11-01 21:37:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was stupid, but I'm a sucker for photo-collages.
Submitted by WellFedEthiopian (user info) at 2005-11-01 21:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I have the same chair.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-01 18:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You and your nasty ass chair!
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-11-01 16:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
woohoo part 2! great posts
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-01 16:01:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:17:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
My computer chair at home is that same kind. Oh incidently, if it's faux leather then your beer farts can't be trapped (I think).
Unless...
You produce that powerful of a fart that drives gas through a less permeable material such as vinyl.
i never sit in a cloth chair of men who I suspect of being gassy. It's just too gross.
------
Unless, you get an Aeron chair - the suspension fabric allows farts to cleanly and quickly pass through the material, for a 100% dispersal rate...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-01 15:40:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Dear God....the visuals...the visuals.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and my flowerpots are all full!!
:-(
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU think that's nasty?? You're not the one who has to figure out what to do with the aftermath!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:34:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, but these are going on reviews that deserve +2's.
TL, I was crankin' and yankin'!!
Actually, it was more of just a crank, then I wanked.
*blushes*
----------------
Ewwwwwwwww...gross. That's nasty! ;)
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:34:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, but these are going on reviews that deserve +2's.
TL, I was crankin' and yankin'!!
Actually, it was more of just a crank, then I wanked.
*blushes*
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:10:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
TigerLilly, you need not thank me. The box of lucky charms and the dozen or so fresh-picked hydrangeas you sent me for All Saint's Day was thanks enough.
--------
Fantastic. I was worried you didn't
receive that shipment of goodies.
I know how much you love hydrangeas.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:56:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:48:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:01:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:54:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:30:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:24:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:44:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed so hard a fire ant came out of my belly button.
---------------------------------
You bastard, when i read this, I was just taking a sip of Hi-C Berry Blue and i spit it all over my laptop.
then I shit a cross legged indian.
------------------------------------
I had a mouthful of a Boston Market microwaveable meal in my mouth when I read this.
There is now a piece of sirloin and half of a buttered egg noodle lodged in my monitor's casing.
And my glass eye fell out
----------------------------------------
I was just checking out some reviews while cleaning off an electrical switch with MF-703 contact cleaner in an aerosol can when i read this. The can had one of those cocktail straws in the nozzle, and I had my phallus in my hand because i was checking out some of TigerLilly's pictures. I spare you the details of what happened next, but will suffice to say that if ForensicGirl did a urinalysis on me right now, she would find traces of Isohexane, and Acetone.
:-(
-----------------------------------------
I laughed so hard at that review right there it was like back when I was on the USS Abraham Lincoln, I was replacing a circuit card in the CV-2036 Keyset Central Multiplexer when someone flipped the breaker despite my having tagged it "off". AT the time, I was simultaneously scratching my buddies ass for him because he was busy tying a bowling knot in a piece of marlin to decoratively wrap a hatch handle and when the voltage hit me I sqeezed hard enough to take the smallest little piece of buttcheek off while being the first human to ever actually pee and poop at the same time and my other hand lurched driving the circuit card into the housing with enough force to bend the contact pins. Too funny.
---------------------------------------------
DAMMIT MAN!
I was laughing at this so hard that it reminded me of the time when I was taking a synchronized swimming classes in college, and doing lamaze classes for the future mother of my children. Anyways, it was the first week senior year and the parties were just starting to get into full swing with the last year there. One particular afternoon, I woke up in my bathtub wearing nothing but a sombrero and woolen mittens with my lit professor on top of me...more on that later. Anyways, I jumped out of the tub and had to high tale it to my lamaze classes because I was already 10 minutes late. At least that's what I thought I was late for. I ended up in Synch swimming doing a ballet leg double while practicing my lamaze breathing technique. The result was about the same as when I was laughing at that review.
--------------------------------------------
That's not uncommon. The same thing happened when I read this as the time I was dared to eat the Nuke Demon Gut Fuck Chainsaw Death wings at Sammys Chicken Shack. First, I took a nibble, and finding nothing wrong, I decided to go for it, whole hog as it were. The heat was unimaginable, and after I started sweating, I began to vomit whole chunks of the beef cubes and snow peas I'd eaten for lunch. The heat grew, eventually leading me to hallucinate that I was Sojournor Truth. I composed a solliliquy and I then passed out, and woke up shitting in an alleyway in the poor section of Calcutta. I ejected one turd the distance of one cubit. Then, a travelling Hindi priest returned me to my homeland and I was nursed back to health by a family of wolverines in the canadian wilderness. What I'm saying here is that your review was a wild ride. I loved it.
---------------------------------------------------------
Not to get too off subject here, but I laughed at your journey of the wing so hard that my grandmother got sick. I had to fly to Deleware, and invent a vaccine that would not only bring her back to health, but cure the rest of the tri-state area because the virus had adapted and went airborne. The only problem was the final ingredient that I needed only grew in the light of the new moon, sort of like mistletoe. Anyways, I was faced with another dilemma: How to turn back time in the amount of one half the cycle of the moon. I consulted sages, scientists, and this weird guy that lived next door with his mom even though he was well into his 40's and wore rolled down tube socks, to no avail. At last, I went to the infamous Howstuffworks.com and learned, in the space of a half hour episode of All in the Family, how to construct a basic time machine from the components found in a cash register from the long forgotten chain resturaunt, "Chicken Hut". I rushed to the nearest one, only to be confronted with what could only be the workings of great evil...A master lock. Luckily, I remembered I had Purchased some mini bolt cutters from Harbor Freight earlier that evening, and utilized them to cut through the foul obstruction. I disassembled the register, built the machine, retrieved the Blood Orchid Of the Amazon, and saved my grandmother and norhteast state residence, and perhaps the world. Then I came back and wrote about it. My point, humor isn't all fun and games, and you should be more carefull putting all of that thought into your reviews SmartFeller.
-Dan
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope this doesn't make you easy, but I have the exact same model chair. I think that makes us cousins.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Your desk is far too tidy.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
TigerLilly, you need not thank me. The box of lucky charms and the dozen or so fresh-picked hydrangeas you sent me for All Saint's Day was thanks enough.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:07:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It is a compliment. Thank you.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:03:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, TigerLilly. Dan and I often spend nights awake at our retreat in the Hamptons, Rod Stewart in our ears and a fine bordeaux in our chalices discussing your beauty and poise.
We apologize that the conversation overflowed onto Uber. We did not mean to embarass you.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:02:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Spill the beans Dan...what exactly
were you doing??? Huh?
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 14:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAH @ TL
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:54:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
----------------------------------------
I was just checking out some reviews while cleaning off an electrical switch with MF-703 contact cleaner in an aerosol can when i read this. The can had one of those cocktail straws in the nozzle, and I had my phallus in my hand because i was checking out some of TigerLilly's pictures. I spare you the details of what happened next, but will suffice to say that if ForensicGirl did a urinalysis on me right now, she would find traces of Isohexane, and Acetone.
_________________________________________
??? ME ???
Great post Fart *giggle*
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:01:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:54:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:30:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:24:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:44:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed so hard a fire ant came out of my belly button.
---------------------------------
You bastard, when i read this, I was just taking a sip of Hi-C Berry Blue and i spit it all over my laptop.
then I shit a cross legged indian.
------------------------------------
I had a mouthful of a Boston Market microwaveable meal in my mouth when I read this.
There is now a piece of sirloin and half of a buttered egg noodle lodged in my monitor's casing.
And my glass eye fell out
----------------------------------------
I was just checking out some reviews while cleaning off an electrical switch with MF-703 contact cleaner in an aerosol can when i read this. The can had one of those cocktail straws in the nozzle, and I had my phallus in my hand because i was checking out some of TigerLilly's pictures. I spare you the details of what happened next, but will suffice to say that if ForensicGirl did a urinalysis on me right now, she would find traces of Isohexane, and Acetone.
:-(
-----------------------------------------
I laughed so hard at that review right there it was like back when I was on the USS Abraham Lincoln, I was replacing a circuit card in the CV-2036 Keyset Central Multiplexer when someone flipped the breaker despite my having tagged it "off". AT the time, I was simultaneously scratching my buddies ass for him because he was busy tying a bowling knot in a piece of marlin to decoratively wrap a hatch handle and when the voltage hit me I sqeezed hard enough to take the smallest little piece of buttcheek off while being the first human to ever actually pee and poop at the same time and my other hand lurched driving the circuit card into the housing with enough force to bend the contact pins. Too funny.
---------------------------------------------
DAMMIT MAN!
I was laughing at this so hard that it reminded me of the time when I was taking a synchronized swimming classes in college, and doing lamaze classes for the future mother of my children. Anyways, it was the first week senior year and the parties were just starting to get into full swing with the last year there. One particular afternoon, I woke up in my bathtub wearing nothing but a sombrero and woolen mittens with my lit professor on top of me...more on that later. Anyways, I jumped out of the tub and had to high tale it to my lamaze classes because I was already 10 minutes late. At least that's what I thought I was late for. I ended up in Synch swimming doing a ballet leg double while practicing my lamaze breathing technique. The result was about the same as when I was laughing at that review.
Submitted by TaraC (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Now change your rating to a +2 please. Not for me, for the victims of Hurricane Wilma."
That is just too funny.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it. This is friggin sweet.
Submitted by Ananse (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:14:03 (#)
Ranking: -1
Because you still didn't rate the damn desk. Gaseous anal olfactory type person.
------------------------
The post is titled things ON my desk. At the best, I was able to do things like my chair that aren't actually sitting up on my desk, but the desk itself is DISQUALIFIED from being included.
Now change your rating to a +2 please.
Not for me, for the victims of Hurricane Wilma.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Because you still didn't rate the damn desk. Gaseous anal olfactory type person.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:07:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
It looks large on the outside, but is small on the inside.
This makes your lunchbox the exact opposite of my ex-wife's vagina
--------------
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:07:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*sigh* this made me miss Sassmasterr.
I'm going to go cry now.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 'cause I still have, and USE, my electric pencil sharpener.
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The part under the keys holds almost and entire bag of cheetos without malfuctioning, though. So, that's pretty sweet."
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:54:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:30:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:24:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:44:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed so hard a fire ant came out of my belly button.
---------------------------------
You bastard, when i read this, I was just taking a sip of Hi-C Berry Blue and i spit it all over my laptop.
then I shit a cross legged indian.
------------------------------------
I had a mouthful of a Boston Market microwaveable meal in my mouth when I read this.
There is now a piece of sirloin and half of a buttered egg noodle lodged in my monitor's casing.
And my glass eye fell out
----------------------------------------
I was just checking out some reviews while cleaning off an electrical switch with MF-703 contact cleaner in an aerosol can when i read this. The can had one of those cocktail straws in the nozzle, and I had my phallus in my hand because i was checking out some of TigerLilly's pictures. I spare you the details of what happened next, but will suffice to say that if ForensicGirl did a urinalysis on me right now, she would find traces of Isohexane, and Acetone.
:-(
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:49:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is hilarious. I mean, HILARIOUS. I was dying when I read the part about the keyboard.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i fucking hate army-sized pencil sharpeners
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:26:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Found a formula, have we?
And knock it off with the Shlongy picture. It's old.
Pun intended.
--------------------
When I need advice on how to post from a sanctimonious, judgemental prick like you I'll have a fucking tag on my toe.
Thanks.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Found a formula, have we?
And knock it off with the Shlongy picture. It's old.
Pun intended.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:44:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed so hard a fire ant came out of my belly button.
---------------------------------
You bastard, when i read this, I was just taking a sip of Hi-C Berry Blue and i spit it all over my laptop.
then I shit a cross legged indian.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
True, Orgasmatron, it is an enigma wrapped in an enigma. Like the aforementioned vagina.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Strange that the lunchbox doesn't fit a whole lot in it. It almost looks too large from the picture you provided. This is surprising.
It looks large on the outside, but is small on the inside.
This makes your lunchbox the exact opposite of my ex-wife's vagina.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-01 12:03:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Trapped farts amused immature minds
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:41:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:33:07 (#)
I have the first working model of a file cabinet. It was a prototype to hold charters for the Dutch West India Company circa 1621, and you have to kick the living shit out of it to close it. I hate it more than anything in the world.
------------------------
Fucking priceless.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My chair fucking sucks.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've been at your job a long time, haven't you?
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I HATE YOU FOR HAVING THAT CHAIR!!
I'm pretty sure the chair I have is slowly giving me hemheroids. I know that's not how you spell that, but I can't be asked to look it up.
It's either that or not shitting for 3 days after 2 mexican meals, but that has yet to be seen.
I have the first working model of a file cabinet. It was a prototype to hold charters for the Dutch West India Company circa 1621, and you have to kick the living shit out of it to close it. I hate it more than anything in the world.
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have that same picture in my drawer
i rub it on my weiner when i'm lonely
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:23:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
bauahahahahaaaa...
This theme, however, is running out of energy.
Drop it while it's still breathing.
---------------------
Yeah, I know. Just wanted to glean a few more hits off this tired old whore before I closed 'er down. Besides, the only other thing on my desk is my tape dispenser, and I'm not devoting an entire post to that.
Well, come to think of it...
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE THESE!!
Dude, you musta had the "G is for GAYASSHOMO" file open in that one picture?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bauahahahahaaaa...
This theme, however, is running out of energy.
Drop it while it's still breathing.
Submitted by Bobbywangstar (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarewrong (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You must be having a very productive day.
YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGNED, YOUR BOSS
P.S. Come and see me after work.
If you want your job back you'll have to blow me.
And you WILL swallow.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That chair is way better than mine. Now I'm jealous and angry. I have one of those two drawer long vertical file cabinet jobs. I can't find any more of the little metal arm things so I can only use half of it for hanging files. The other side of the drawer ends up being a catch all for stuff I don't want to deal with.
Although, now that I think about it, someone quit a couple of weeks ago. I wonder if the cube vultures have scavenged his little metal arm things.
must be stealth about it
I'm sure he didn't have an electric stapler though, I'd have snagged it already if he had.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:17:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My computer chair at home is that same kind. Oh incidently, if it's faux leather then your beer farts can't be trapped (I think).
Unless...
You produce that powerful of a fart that drives gas through a less permeable material such as vinyl.
i never sit in a cloth chair of men who I suspect of being gassy. It's just too gross.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-11-01 11:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your chair looks more comfortable than mine