A story and a situation (393 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.88 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EmptyRobot (View user info) at 2005-11-01 23:00:16 EST
Let me start off by saying that i have been drinking and smoking mass KB's. And watching meet the Fockers.
4:20, April 20, 2005. My girlfriend informs me that she is indeed pregnent. Now in the world of the stoner, let me inform you that this has automaticly shatterd the day. In approx. 9 months i would be a father. Fastforward. Present day, 10:53, nov.1, 2005. 2 months until this little (and im glad to add) Boy pops out.
Now this, among being a world shaking thing for the 19 year old that I am, projects a very wonderful opportunity. the privillage of being a young, flourishng minded, father. I now have a giant growing blob of intelligent silly putty to mold to my liking.
The question my uberites is this: Should I mold this kid with an iron fist of respect, discipline, and sheer cunning and intellegence or should i just half ass fatherhood like everything else.
The obvious choice is the former but imagine the possibilities!
User Reviews
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-02 11:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You IDIOT.
You realise you'll have to wait 20 years to think about doing anything for yourself now.
Submitted by jollydodger (user info) at 2005-11-02 07:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nah man, don't even worry about the kid. Get drunk and drop cigarette cherries on it. Put it in its cot and go out to the pub. If it wakes up and cries you won't even hear it. Cocksmoker.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-02 07:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just tell her you want nothing to do with the baby or her and just turn your back. She'll be alright, she'll just get an abortion.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-11-02 07:23:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Man up, be responsible, and raise your kid to be a good person. Think of someone you always wanted to make proud, and raise your kid to do that.
Plus, you'll only be 37 when he moves out! How fuckin' cool is THAT!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-11-02 01:43:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's a shame this kid'll grow up with you as a role model.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-11-01 23:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you know where Alaska is? can you learn how to build a Igloo? Are you scared of polar bears?
Submitted by EmptyRobot (user info) at 2005-11-01 23:13:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-11-01 23:09:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
dipshits havin babies, oops i meant to say babies havin babies. Good luck with all that.
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Hey if it wrent for laws idve puncehd her in the stomach long ago
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-11-01 23:09:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
dipshits havin babies, oops i meant to say babies havin babies. Good luck with all that.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-11-01 23:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Coming from an eighteen year old with no maternal instinct, I'd say you can kind of do both by keeping the kid away from the TV and outside all the time (except sleeping and eating, of course, and well wrapped up in winter). You'll have more good stories to tell over a beer with your friends down at the bar out of earshot of your wife (so she can't hear you chuckle, I mean) that way, and also the kid will make enough near-fatal mistakes by age 10 to have ironed out all the sissiness himself.
Also, get him into hockey as soon as possible.
The +2 is to make up for all the sleepless nights coming up, by the way.
Submitted by EmptyRobot (user info) at 2005-11-01 23:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because i am drunk and this is pointless and very poorly written,. and props to maddox for awesome pics and shit woo go maddox