Let's Get This Party Started! OW! (1291 hits)
Category: PoliticsLabels: ETS_Sociopolitical_Commentary ETS_Comedy_Writing
Rating: 1.7 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2005-11-02 19:19:55 EST
On this post, http://www.ubersite.com/m/78218, I stated that I think we need a third party contender in America to shake things up and keep the other two parties in check. I stated that I should start my own party called the 'ME' party. Loki suggested that might lead to chaos and stated that any third party would have to somehow bridge the gap between the two existing parties.
Well, my uber brothers and sisters, it's not only obvious to me that she don't know how to party, but, also, I'm gonna have to take it upon myself to lead the way to the promised land of social and political equality.
Below is my party's manifesto. It's called the 'ME' party. Read it carefully for an outline of our agenda, but before you do, make sure to click the link at the bottom of the post so our theme music plays in the background while you read. It'll be groovier that way. Dig?
Email me if you'd like to join or *paypal me if you want to contribute electrictoothsyndrome.at.msn.com. Thank you.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
THE 'ME' PARTY MANIFESTO
Neither party is doing enough for the environment.
ENVIRONMENT should be our #1 priority. It is the thing that gives us life,
sustains us, and without respect for it, it will destroy not
only us in this country, but everyone everywhere.
I would create tax incentives for people to own hybrid and other
alternative fuel vehicles to promote a transition away from
these gas guzzling behemoths we're driving now.
I would argue for the shift toward nuclear and hydroelectric power
over coal and natural gas.
These things are at the top of my agenda.
Second on my agenda is the changing of the role of the MILITARY from
one of policing to one of international aid and relief, used in only
the most extreme of cases. Our military muscle should be used, like
karate, for defense only, but our humanity should not be withheld
for beaurocratic reasons either. A balance must be struck wherein
the safety of our nation is upheld while at the same time, we're not
in the business of pissing off future generations of America 'playa-haters'.
HEALTHCARE should either be free or more affordable for all. Doctors
should not be allowed to charge the astronamical amounts they charge
for certain procedures and tests. Just like gas companies are not
allowed to gouge prices on gas, healthcare people should not be
allowed to gouge on prices for healthcare. I would create a branch of
the FDA specifically assigned the task of regulating which procedures
should be capped and at what price. To counteract the hit to doctors,
I would also create an investigative body to review healthcare related
court cases to ensure that a case was not frivilous before it ever
even went to court. If only they'd do this in baseball, assholes like
A-Rod wouldn't be making the equivalent of the GDP of Equador. Doctors
are there to save lives, not destroy livlihoods!
SOCIAL SECURITY should be funded by MARIJUANA. This relatively harmess
drug, even to its legalized counterpart, alcohol, is a potential
goldmine of federal funds. Social Security could be saved for future
generations through the legalization and taxation of marijuana. To this
end I would also require potheads to register to vote before they bought
any weed. "VOTE BEFORE YOU TOKE!" That'd be my motto.
WELFARE: Before people are put on welfare, they should be required to get their
reproductive organs fixed so we will be sure we're not going to be
supporting any more of their spawn. Hell, we'll pay for the procedure!
AND we'll gladly reverse it...but not as long as you're on welfare,
which isn't going to be long, cause we WILL find you a job! Oh, and by
the way, if you're able-bodied, you're going to be doing community
service too as long as you're living on the federal dime! SMILE! We'd have
some clean fucking highways, I'll tell you that!
DRUGS: Drug users are NOT CRIMINALS. They are sick people who need our
help. We should look to Holland for cues on this issue instead of
filling our prisons with people who should rather be in councelling.
Not saying I have all the answers on this issue, but we need to
seriously take another hard look at it. Jesus Christ taught love, not
judgement. This is one of those cases where his philosophies would be
put to good use. I use the Christ reference because many of the
hardliners on this issue tend to be right wing Christian fanatics who
seem incapable of seeing that Christ has equal love for ALL people,
not just the ones who go to their church and fund their campaigns. (For
those who disagreed with me on this issue, I'd force them to smoke a 'J'
and 'shut the fuck up'.
ABORTION is a woman's choice...PERIOD. End of story. Unless we're role
playing and I say otherwise, it's her body. She's the one who ultimately
has to deal with the consequences of it, so it's her choice. Speaking of
which, SEX EDUCATION would be in our schools just like history, biology,
or anatomy. It's an inextricable part of the human condition, and as
long as we have information on the subject, we should be sharing that
information freely, not from a pro or con standpoint...just the facts.
This is not the fucking dark ages, and we're not going to make Galileo
recant the existence of Jupiter's moons here. Grow up people! Your children
need you to be understanding, not bull-headed.
Speaking of EDUCATION... There is no way states should be able to
allow their schools to go underfunded. Education is the front line in
our battle against the forces of ignorance and stupidity, and it
should be funded accordngly. We spend billions on our military to
trapse about the globe, policing its people, and we can't even give
our own children a proper education or in some cases food and clothes
on their backs. It's insanity. Americans come first. Americans pay
their taxes and should see the benefits of that first. Plus, I find it
ludicrous that schools would fund their football programs before their
music programs! When my party is in office, Rock and Roll will not
just be an elective, it will be a REQUIREMENT!
DEATH PENALTY: Each state should be allowed to decide how they want to
deal with the most dangerous and unrepentant of their criminals, but
only in those cases where either DNA evidence is present or a
reasonable number of mentally sound witnesses, or being that this is America
after all, maybe we should just stick to the DNA... With all the room saved
by legalizing marijuana and decriminalizing drug abuse, prison space
shouldn't be much of an issue. For anyone convicted of a federal
crime, their fate should be decided not by one judge, but by a
majority vote from the supreme court, that way more than one person is
held accountable.
Which brings me to THE SUPREME COURT... There is no reason that
wrinkled fuckers on their last legs who are so old, they remember the
days before cars should be deciding the constitutionality of issues
for a country composed of a growing population of people who were raised
playing video games and using email instead of the pony express.
There should be limits on their tenure, and the tenure of those people
in the SENATE as well. Some of these people just grab a seat and park
their ass and do essentially nothing. That should end. If a Supreme
Court justice reaches 65 years of age, he should be publicly shot!
That's should encourage his retirement. Same goes for Senators.
There should be no age minimum on who can run for president. If the
American people want them in, there should be nothing to restrict them.
The current minimum is 35. This is like a slap in the face for young
people and discourages their participation in politics from the get
go. If you're old enough to vote and die for your country, you should
surely be able to lead it if you feel so inclined and if you have
enough voter support. (And a big cock never hurts.)
Their should be caps on the amount of funds that can be spent in a
political campaign, and it should be some proportion of the minimum
wage! Let's see them keep the minimum wage down now!
SLAVERY: I am against it. We should end slavery as soon as possible.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
I hope you've found this manifesto helpful, and I look forward to your support and, perhaps, participation. After all, ain't no party like a 'ME' Party: The Only Party Where Everyone Is Invited!™
*Not responsible for lost, misplaced, or misappropriated campaign funds.
lets get this party started theme music.mid (40 kB) [audio/mid]
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-07 06:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah crap, I thought this was current.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-07 06:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-01-07 06:00:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Now, what is it hurting the rich man to make the life of the poor man a little easier? He'll be a better employee. He'll enjoy his life more. And he'll actually be able to afford to BUY more of the bullshit that you make. Right?
--------------------------
So the rich man should disperse his wealth more so he can get it back after producing more goods for it?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-07 06:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-01-07 05:56:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-07 05:51:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do you stand on a capital gains tax?
------------
Well, considering I don't know what the fuck it is, it's probably a bad idea, Bob.
Look, money is extremely simple. You take in more than you pay out and you're doing ok. It's pretty goddamn simple. A good background in elementary addition and subtraction, and you're halfway there.
You think I'm kidding don't you? :|
-------------
Haha, not at all, in fact I know exactly where you're coming from. I wrote something very similar to this in early 2004.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-01-07 06:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok seriously, the way I see it...the rich are only rich because there are a certain number of poor people out there to do their bidding, right? If we're being honest.
Ok.
Now, what is it hurting the rich man to make the life of the poor man a little easier? He'll be a better employee. He'll enjoy his life more. And he'll actually be able to afford to BUY more of the bullshit that you make. Right?
What is the Republican's fucking problem? I don't get it.
They have lost the ability to THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.
In other words...they still have their minds in their mother's twats or something.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-01-07 05:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-07 05:51:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do you stand on a capital gains tax?
------------
Well, considering I don't know what the fuck it is, it's probably a bad idea, Bob.
Look, money is extremely simple. You take in more than you pay out and you're doing ok. It's pretty goddamn simple. A good background in elementary addition and subtraction, and you're halfway there.
You think I'm kidding don't you? :|
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-07 05:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do you stand on a capital gains tax?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-01-07 05:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:23:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with you.
Something you should be aware of however, The gov't already offers tax breaks to individuals that own hybrid vehicles.
Just a little bit of info for those of you that itemize.
----------------
Oh yea, I forgot. :(
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-01-07 05:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dangerdude (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:30:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
you'd be laughed out of any public service position in the country. I do agree with the tax incentives for hybrid owners though, thats a good idea
----------------------
I just saw a commercial for this the other day.
I KNEW I was making a difference! :D
*shoots self in face*
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-11-04 00:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to apply for the internship position.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-03 18:17:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Why don't we put red crystals in everybody's palms and kill them when they turn black?
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"(And a big cock never hurts.)"
Um.. actually they do.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds good to me.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Another thing, Rad, I'm pleased to see you agree with me on the gun safety issue.
I don't know if any of you are of the age where you grew up in the Reagan and Bush era, but if so, you'll remember the 'D.A.R.E.' and 'Just Say No' programs in schools. In 'D.A.R.E.' they had an actual police officer come to the classroom to talk about drugs. Not a bad idea, but why not, since he's there, get him to teach about gun safety and respect?
Elementary school children need to know that a gun is no toy. They need to know that guns should be treated with the utmost respect, and should only be used by police, for licenced hunting, responsible target practice, and in only the most extreme of self-defense circumstances. They should be exposed to the kind of numbers that were revealed in 'Bowling for Columbine' so they get an idea of the evils that guns can bring to a society if misused. They should be given a history lesson on guns in American society, and they should understand why they are legal and their intended purpose.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:04:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's the money going to come from? Don't get me wrong, the money is there but it's earmarked for other stuff or wasted. You need a fully thought out economic plan that's as watertight as a mermaids brasiere (*robbed from Blackadder IV).
That may be a lot to ask for a post on a screwy joke and story site though.
Anyway, what you people need to do is shore up the damn economy. Bush's 'War on Terror' has been kicking all your asses for a while now and if something dramatic isn't done soon the coming recession will be the ugliest thing since tubgirl. Next comes internaional policy, the Bush take on it all has been a bit 'you're either with us or against us' which is fine if you want to fight a lot of wars but less fine if you want a stable economy.
Urban regeneration might be a plan what with all those millions living in abject poverty, that's up to you though. In fact it'd probably make the country weaker. Whatever, it's up to you.
And stop giving people guns! It's a lethal fucking weapon for crying out loud! You can't chop onions with a Glock 17, you cannot erect a fence with a Remington Shotgun and you certainly cannot play baseball with an uzi 9mm. Guns have but one purpose: to kill. If you point a gun at someone, you point a gun at them to kill them. Have an armistice and swap them all for tasers if you're so bloody worried about burgalers. Jesus, it's like talking to children.
Also, stop re-writing the constitution. It's a very good constitution. It's full of honourable and sensible, long-term ideals. Best thing about the place is that damn constitution. Stop ruining it.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-03 09:45:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-11-03 06:24:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the sound of this. Doesn't affect me in any way at all since I'm not up there, but hey, go you.
------------------------------
Just about everything we do affects you.
Rad: I don't look at politics from the perspective of blanket classifications like 'liberal' or 'conservative'. You know that. It's too limiting. As you read through the manifesto above, and see my views on gun control below, you'll plainly see that I am neither liberal nor conservative in the fullest sense. To me, there are only good ideas and bad ideas, and no amount of classification will ever lead me to follow a leader with a bad fucking idea. Eminent Domain for private companies is one of 'em. It is a shame that the same kind of people in Washington who believe that a woman should have the right to choose also believe that eminent domain is a good idea. It makes it difficult to get behind people and push confidently for change. Of course, it's not like we have a say, those fuckers on the Supreme Court will be there till they kill over on their seat. Bullshit. This country is fucked and I'm sick of looking at it.
Rad, you could be like my Secretary of Buttsecks or something.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-11-03 07:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-11-03 06:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the sound of this. Doesn't affect me in any way at all since I'm not up there, but hey, go you.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-03 03:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 23:23:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and another thing on guns... As long as we allow guns in our society, our schools should be required to teach gun safety and respect to students as part of the basic curriculum. Opinions on this?
------------------------------------------
yes. Teach gun safety at an early age.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-03 03:54:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 22:27:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyway, it would give those lazy bastards in the Supreme Court something to do while they weren't ruling in favor of eminent domain for private developers (for which they should all be shot anyway).
-----------------------------
Not all of them.
Just the liberal ones.
;p
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-03 00:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in if I can get a cushy government job, like Secretary of the Humanities or something.
Or Secretary of Head.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 23:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and another thing on guns... As long as we allow guns in our society, our schools should be required to teach gun safety and respect to students as part of the basic curriculum. Opinions on this?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 23:21:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I totally forgot GUN CONTROL!
I think America is too entrenched in a history of gun ownership to go fucking with that too hardcore. Anyway, if a Katrina-type situation happens in my town, I'll be damned if the criminals are running around with guns they conveniently forgot to turn in to the police while I'm helpless and without arms as a 'law abiding citizen'. Guns are a part of the American culture. I know that's difficult for some of your Euros to understand, but you'll just have to get over it and accept it. We're going to have guns, and every now and then when we take a notion, we're probably gonna shoot one another for no particular reason, but it's better than the civil war that would result from trying to take them away entirely. All that being said, I still don't think someone should be able to walk into a McDonalds and pull the trigger once and take out the entire restaurant. He should at least have to the pull the trigger for every person. It's only fair and sportsmanlike the way I see it. And rocket launchers should definitely be out of the question. Grenades....I might be flexible. Depends on if you're using them for fishing.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 23:04:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Spook: Fusion is the holy grail of mankind. If we achieve it, there is no limit to what we can do.
We could travel the universe forever if we wanted. Wouldn't that be somethin'?
Shit, man, there would be no more poverty. All the world's energy would be endless and free forever. Wouldn't that be somethin'?
We'd have to find something else to bicker about. Wouldn't that be somethin'?
I'd do Rad's mom in the pooper. Wouldn't that be somethin'?
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-02 22:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should try some other energy sources besides nuclear and hydroelectric power.
Perhaps investing in some Fusion: http://www.fusion.org.uk/.
They're building some huge reactor in Europe. I've been reading about it in my ME mag when I'm on the shitter.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-02 22:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with all of it. Except the slavery portion.
I believe we should make the welfare individuals tend our fields of marijuana.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 22:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-11-02 21:35:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good ideas, but what makes you think the Supreme Court has time to decide the fate of every person convicted of a federal crime? They would be hearing cases 24/7 365.
---------------------------
You know, I'd actually thought of that. I didn't explain it very well there. What I meant to say was federal cases that involved the possibility of the death penalty should be heard by the Supreme Court at least for the sentencing hearing. But how many federal cases do you think there are a year that involved the possibility of the death penalty? Not many, if any. Most are state cases. Federal death penalty cases are few. Anyway, it would give those lazy bastards in the Supreme Court something to do while they weren't ruling in favor of eminent domain for private developers (for which they should all be shot anyway).
You have any idea how much those fucking wrinkled fuckers get paid? Make 'em earn their keep! That's what I say.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-11-02 21:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good ideas, but what makes you think the Supreme Court has time to decide the fate of every person convicted of a federal crime? They would be hearing cases 24/7 365.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-11-02 21:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait the drug part was bullshit. I judge 'em plenty, but I don't send them to jail. They'll fuck themselves up and that's their problem.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-11-02 21:05:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:07:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty much agreed- but in referance to drug users not being criminals; surely the definition of criminal is one who commits a crime... until you change the law they are still criminals!
-
I disagree with all of this except for drugs, abortion, perhaps the parts I didn't read, and the part about castrating welfare people.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:59:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WELFARE: Before people are put on welfare, they should be required to get their
reproductive organs fixed so we will be sure we're not going to be
supporting any more of their spawn.
-
I'd totally vote for you, just for that.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:52:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit dude, it would cut down on teen pregnancy too, seeing as it tends to make you sterile! Plus people would just drive way more sensibly if they were high. Even if they did crash, they wouldn't have the momentum to knock over a garbage can.
You'd also have a lot less meaningless crime like vandalism, and instead you'd have more meaningful crime like philosophical vandalism.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How many Republicans do you figure are going to go for this?
Personally, I think we should be handing out joints to high school kids to cut down on school voilence.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nogagreflex (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:44:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read it but i don't like you
-------------------------
Well, you know...a lot of the people who don't read me don't like me.
But don't just hate me because I'm beautiful.
Submitted by nogagreflex (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:44:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read it but i don't like you
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah shit, don't count your chickens quite yet: http://www.wired.com/news/print/0,1294,69099,00.html
Some states apparently are giving incentives, but the FED is once again fucking it all up Bush-style.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:39:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:23:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with you.
Something you should be aware of however, The gov't already offers tax breaks to individuals that own hybrid vehicles.
Just a little bit of info for those of you that itemize.
---------------------------
REALLY! Hey cool! See, people, I'm not crazy!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:38:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mikethescottish: you still live in Scotland right? I need a favor...
Submitted by dangerdude (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you'd be laughed out of any public service position in the country. I do agree with the tax incentives for hybrid owners though, thats a good idea
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with you.
Something you should be aware of however, The gov't already offers tax breaks to individuals that own hybrid vehicles.
Just a little bit of info for those of you that itemize.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:15:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Until I have proof that you have a suitable running mate to take over after your assassination, I must continue to review my options.
-------------------------------
How's Michael Johnson sound! How's that for a running mate!?! We can't lose! Well, 'cept maybe our hair...and immune system.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:19:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:07:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty much agreed- but in referance to drug users not being criminals; surely the definition of criminal is one who commits a crime... until you change the law they are still criminals!
---------------------
I think you're onto something here, Mike! I think we should call them something like 'Little Druggie Twoshoes' or something. Then we could point and laugh! HAHAHAHAHAHA :D
Boy, that would be fun!
OHHHHHH....but yes, other than that, we shouldn't call them 'criminals' really.
But 'slut' has a nice ring to it! That might discourage drug abuse. Unless they really are sluts. Then they'll surely TAKE IT AND LIKE IT!
*thrashes about for a minute in a pointless fit the source of which is unknown*
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
and leave the military alone....... find someone else!
"they are trained to vaporize, not Mirandize"
<L.J. Kurb>
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Until I have proof that you have a suitable running mate to take over after your assassination, I must continue to review my options.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:11:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i pretty much agree with everything here cept for the drugs.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your drummer is drag'n ass
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:08:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can sign up using the form below. Thanks for your support!
This is our standard documentation. No need to read it really. Just sign and send to the address below. Thanks!
I ___________ do hereby bequeath my mortal soul to the 'ME' party, and more specifically to ETS
should said party happen to fall into dissolution in the next...say...24 hours or so. I, the
undersigned, do also solemnly swear to uphold truth, justice, and the American way whenever at
football games before 9:00PM EST, but no later than 9:15AM GMT. I, the undersigned, also agree to
relinquish all earthly fetters by giving all my material possessions to the 'ME' party or ETS in a
manner that is both timely and NOW! At all times and in all things will I, the undersigned, expound
the precepts of the 'ME' party as outlined in the official "'ME' Party Manifesto", and maybe even do
some other crazy shit that ETS decides to make me do on a total whim at 3:00 in the morning. In all
these things do I swear, and at no time will I be able to take this back...even if you ARE rubber
and I am glue.
Signed: ___________________
Date: _____________________
Send to:
Electric Tooth Syndrome
1313 HAHAYOUFOOL LN
Beverly Hills 90210
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:07:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty much agreed- but in referance to drug users not being criminals; surely the definition of criminal is one who commits a crime... until you change the law they are still criminals!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-02 20:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh dear
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:55:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
seriously though, I'm with you on most of this, except the part about social programs and the parts dealing directly with the constitution.
Other than that, good platform.
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:52:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in. Where do I sign up?
Submitted by Drone_of_Industry (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
it'll never work. their too powerful. it's hopeless. we're all doomed
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:40:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:32:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
your understanding of politics is astounding.
*keeps straight face*
*smirks slightly*
*loses it*
------------------
Hey man, thanks for the compliment! I look forward to your support!
*kisses baby*
*spits as it is discovered it's dead*
*feels campaign support waning over dead baby joke*
*kisses a live baby to appease the pro-lifers*
*everyone is happy*
*...and high*
*maybe?*
*OH COME ON! It can happen!*
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*goes to the vote booth and ticks the +2 box*
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:33:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have my vote.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your understanding of politics is astounding.
*keeps straight face*
*smirks slightly*
*loses it*
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:31:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love the way I cleverly misspelled the last word in this sentence:
"Education is the front line in
our battle against the forces of ignorance and stupidity, and it
should be funded accordngly."
Now THAT's comedy!
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-11-02 19:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the
lightbulb.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius