Things I can do that irritate my boss (790 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spacey (View user info) at 2005-11-03 10:43:52 EST
The sequal to "Things I can throw at my bosses head"
I've handed in my notice at my job, I have 1 week left, but I really can't be bothered with it. If I walk out I won't get paid for the week, but my contract states that if they ask me to leave before my notice period is up they have to pay me. I don't want to do anything that will result in my boss not giving me a reference, so no stabbing, biting, punching or kicking can be involved.
I figured that if I can annoy him enough, he'll just send me home and I'll have a whole week before I start my new job. It's just he and I in the office today, the occassional person wanders in, but for the majority of the day I have been alone with him.
I'd like to point out now that my boss is a very very very petty person, so little tiny things get to him. This is my list of annoying things I have done so far.
1. Offered him coffee, made myself one and "forgot" about his
2. Offered him coffee again, but made him tea
3. Let his chair down every time I walk past
4. Mindless humming, whistling and singing songs I know he hates
5. Tapping my pen against my desk for a full 5 minutes (it doesn't sound like very long, but
after 30 seconds I could see him losing the will to live)
6. Transferring all his calls on to the empty desk in front of him so he has to get up
7. Hiding files, books and stationary
8. Making all my e-mails to him rhyme
9. Referring to him as "Snugglepants" in front of customers
10. Replying to everything he says with "that's what you think"
I'm running out of ideas now and I have 2 hours to go, otherwise I'll have to drag myself back in tomorrow. Please help!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by ikillclowns (user info) at 2006-01-31 09:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got fired for humming at work to much...
Submitted by drewbear (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
go up to him tonight when you leave , look him in the eyes for longer than is comfortable , throw your arms round him and sob into his chest "THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES" !!! go on my son !!!
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Snugglepants!
"In accordance with the prophecy" is ingenious, ooQueso!
Submitted by ooQueso (user info) at 2005-11-03 17:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great... But one of my favorites from "how to annoy" lists is to end all sentences you say with "in accordance with the prophecy." I love the reactions that one gets :D
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-11-03 17:16:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit this is funny.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-11-03 17:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The combination of this post and the comments has brought tears of laughter to my eyes.
Develop some compulsive behaviors overnight. Insist on allowing the phone to ring exactly 8 times before you answer it, or walk a circle around his desk 3 times before you can respond to a question, etc. He can't prove anything.
Try talking in tongues.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-11-03 15:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fucking shit
"Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:16:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
Get closers and closer to him while he's talking to you. Eventually, just close your eyes and inhale deeply, smelling him. Shudder a little.
Do this ten times a day. "
WAS AWESOME!!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-03 15:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bobbywangstar (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:56:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Quickly eat something that causes bad gas.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-11-03 15:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Make obscene gestures with your hands, chew gum really loudly. Shoot spit wads, etc.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-03 13:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shoot rubber bands at him.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61908
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-11-03 13:10:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-11-03 12:46:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Referring to him as "Snugglepants" in front of customers
___________________________
Nice
- - - - - - - - - - - -
I fucking lost it when I read that. Some of these reviews had me laughing so hard I started coughing...
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-11-03 12:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Referring to him as "Snugglepants" in front of customers
___________________________
Nice.
Submitted by yabbo (user info) at 2005-11-03 12:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Accent of the day
Pirate, cockney, french etc
Submitted by johnhutch (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:42:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My favorite:
Go buy a sandwich or meat product of some form. Something preferably fresh and, ideally, mostly uncooked. A hoagie, a McFish, some sushi, a filet of salmon, whatever you can get your hands on.
The conveniently put it down someplace out of site (like in an air vent or, the less criminal alternative, accidentally "dropped" behind a desk). Then "forget" about it. It'll be weeks before he finds it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty nice strategy.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:16:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Get closers and closer to him while he's talking to you. Eventually, just close your eyes and inhale deeply, smelling him. Shudder a little.
Do this ten times a day.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:16:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Start humming christmas songs. It always annoys people at my work, it's freaking november!
Or you could place your hand gently on his shoulder and caress it a little and tell him you like his sweater.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:10:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uncomfortably long hugs
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When he's sitting down, walk up to talk to him and lean your crotch towards him untill it's about a 1/2 inch away from his face.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:58:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You should keep farting right next him while he's sitting so his face is ass-level. Then walk away with a smile and say, 'Why burp and waste it when you can fart and make the MAN taste it.'.
Submitted by Bobbywangstar (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quickly eat something that causes bad gas.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
8. Making all my e-mails to him rhyme
-----------
That's way cool.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:54:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You should curl up on the floor and tell him you're going to "take a little nap".
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:52:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
10. Replying to everything he says with "that's what you think"
i'd try "you keep telling yourself that"
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-11-03 10:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment