Happiness (407 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saffron (View user info) at 2005-11-03 11:06:27 EST
His stomach flipped and gurgled. He hated that feeling of take off, roller coaster or airplane, that sensation that you were falling faster than your intestines could adjust registered as fear, not anticipation. His gut sang in protest and the gases attempted adjusting themselves into a more comfortable position. He sweated and waited for the venting.
Slowly, like a cork working its way out of a champagne bottle's neck, it came. An immediate rush of liquid relief was followed up quickly by the stench. He did a mental inventory of what he had eaten over the last 2 days, attempting to identify the culprit.
Garlic Cream Cheese. The "Best By" date was confusing. Did it mean it was bad that day or you had until the end of the day ? His stomach sang the answer back as it rolled and bubbled in protest.
________________
They had been cuddling on the couch, not so much watching CSI as flirting with fingertips and deep gazes. She had her head on his chest when the cacophony began; a slow grumble and flip that meant trouble was on its way. She sat up and went to the kitchen under the guise of getting more wine while he made his way ot the rest room. She knew he would be a while and stepped out onto the veranda to have a cigarette.
She paced nervously.
They had been dating for about 2 years. 2 years, and they still weren't living together. Hell, he didn't even set aside a drawer or closet space for her. She had been living out of her suitcase 5-7 days a week for the better part of 18 months. 2 years and she still waited for the invitation to come to his place; didn't want to be a pest. He wanted to be with her but seemed unable to fully commit to anything beyond what they had now, which, to her, was a frustration. He talked of leaving the area to pursue new opportunities for work, and his plans never seemed to include her. She was a non-entity in his long term plan, but she was not willing to leave him. He was the best person she'd ever been with. Not the sex so much as the sense of peace he instilled in her. The quiet, blissful feeling of calm as they adventured about, the world stepping up its moments of beauty just to entertain them. Clouds shaped like cats dancing across the mountain as they picnicked below, sunsets that imbued the sky with hues of purple and violent pink when they sat on the veranda for a glass of wine, raccoons that stood up in unison, looking more than a bit like they were getting ready to do the can-can when they came home from work, even the moon seemed to increase in intensity if they were out underneath it. It was bliss that she was unwilling to let go of, understanding that fighting for it could not turn into an altercation or it would spoil things forever. She had to approach things differently. Not manipulate to the point of being caught or having him feel trapped, but make life so wondrous that he would commit to her fully and without regret.
She put her cigarette out and lit another. She was worried about her plan.
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The cramps continued. He knew he was going to be a while. He needed something to distract him from his body but the downstairs bathroom didn't have any reading material. Not even a shampoo bottle. His mind began to drift and as he sat there his thoughts eventually landed on her.
They had been dating for about 2 years. It was the longest relationship he'd ever had. She was nearly living with him, spending more nights here than at her place and he loved it. She was a great cook, fantastic company and a stellar lay. If he could just get his job situation to solidify he could be relax and be unabashedly happy. He believed there were 3 components to happiness : relationship, home and job. Having 2 of these sorted and stable was doing all right, only one was stressful and rife with angst and none was the definition of misery. 3 of course made you golden. He had always wanted to be golden, and was finally getting close. To him golden meant he was ready to take the next big step. Married. Maybe even children. He smiled at the thought of having these things with her.
He relaxed into another spasm and gave himself a courtesy flush.
_______________
It began innocently enough. Hadn't it ? A little research to disprove a bit of urban legand. Surely she hadn't intentionally gone looking for it with any intent. She had been talking with the girls about their latest boy woe and Cind had said soemthing about Italian women figuring it out ages ago. Cind was a magent for men who cheat unabashedly. "You see, they poison their men in the morning and if they don't come home at night for the antidote, well....."
Had she been the only one who hadn't laughed ? She thought it a lie and promising all in the same instance.Nothing she would ever do of course, but it was an amusing notion. It was months before her frustration drove her to google.
How did the world exist before google ? You can become an expert in insurance law to protect yourself after a car accident, find an amazing chocolate custard recipe, hunt down old schoolmates and find tried and true instructions for poisoning your man. She remembered the apprehension in her fingers as she typed. She didn't want him dead. But perhaps negative reinforcement, being ill every time he was without her, would get him over the hump. Push them to the next plateau. She knew they could be happy, would grow old together and the responsibility to get them there was on her.
It wasn't her fault he skipped desert. Next time she would remember to put the antidote in the entree.
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:19:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-11-03 16:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome...
wish I'd thought of this a few weeks ago.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-11-03 15:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am laughing in disbelief.
Great twist.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-11-03 13:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-11-03 12:50:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow - good story. I will never trust a girlfriend again.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-03 12:00:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THIS is some excellent writing.
Very very well done.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn...I'm glad I didn't waste that first +2. This post deserved them both. Excellent writing...kept me guessing until the end. Of course it also makes me suspect all women from this point on!
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:26:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't actually read the post, but the title reminded me of one of my favorite Beavis and Butthead exchanges.
B&B watching "Shiny Happy People" video by REM...
Butthead: Huhh huh hu h. "Happiness."
Beavis: Heh heh heh ... hey Butthead... .you just said "Penis." Heh heh
Butthead: I know.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:14:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
...is a warm gun.
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+2 for the Beatles reference!
Now I'll read this and give it a true review.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:14:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
...is a warm gun.
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I don't understand.
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Good post btw.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good one
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...is a warm gun.
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2005-11-03 11:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very cool