Fuck You Sandbox!!! (205 hits)
Category: Politics -> Iraqno reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Last Prophet (View user info) at 2005-11-03 21:15:42 EST
Well, it's about fucking time. I'm finally on my way back home from the sandbox. My home station is Korea, I've been in this shithole for a year not and am glad to be going back to some kind of civilization. I just can't wait until I set foot on American Soil again.
Here are a few pictures from the time I spent in the "Sandbox". It fucking sucked! No matter what you do, you always have sweat on your balls and in your crack. Now, it's not all that bad to have sweaty balls and such, but when that shit mixes with sand, it's just wrong!
Picture A: This is a picture that was taken by one of our captains shortly after returning from an engagement along the Iraq/Iran border in Northern Iraq. The object I am holding is a 45lb bar of gold. The Office of Special Investigations (OSI) called in a "suspicious" transport vehicle traveling dangerously near the Iranian border. We were ordered to engage. The little fuckers in the cab were scared shitless when they were looking down the M-16/M-203 barrels of 30 frosty U.S. Troops. When we opened the back of the truck, we were all shitting in our pants when we found 700 bars of gold. I had great delusions of grandeur at the time. I was trying to figure out ways to get that gold home with me. IMPOSSIBLE! So, we did what all good, moral men would do. We reported it to our commanders and had it all shipped to Kirkuk, where you see me standing with one of those lovely bars in my hand. We did however find a way to get some gold. You see, gold is a very soft metal. During transport there was a lot of moving and scraping going on, and I mean a lot! We made sure of it. This caused gold shavings to fall down under the crates. We all made sure to collect as many shavings as possible. I now have three zip-lock baggies full of gold shavings. I wonder how much it is. I'll melt it down after I get home. That was a "Happy Day"!
Picture B: This is just a picture of me standing on a tower that was hit with an RPG. Well, the RPG hit near it, and made it lean. Look at that huge helmet they issued me. I'm sure glad that thing was never hit. If my neck didn't break, I would have been blinded by that big ass turtle shell on my head.
Picture C: This is a picture we took shortly after taking a 19.5mm Anti Aircraft weapon (I don't know the actual nomenclature, the Iraqis have had this thing since the end of WWII) from the Kurds. They know nothing of "Newton's Law". These idiots were firing these giant rounds into the air from this beast after one of their delegates won a local election. That was some scary shit. It was a pitch black night and all we could see were tracers flying through the air. It's not the tracers that scared me, I could see them. It's all the rounds in between that scared the hell out of us. So, it was like taking candy from a baby. We went out there with a "Gator" (a small tactical ATV) and hooked this bad boy up to it. Then we took off with it. It now sits at our compound as a static display. We had to decommission it so it could never be used again. It looks cool, and we had a lot of fun with it.
I am looking forward to getting home now. I can't wait! I can't wait to have real food again. I am sure however that I will have complications after eating nothing but MREs for a year and then eating that RICH American food.
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