Mai Tai The Cockatoo VS. The Red Teletubie (476 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by BadAssJulie (View user info) at 2005-11-04 19:47:01 EST
A little info on Mai Tai- I rescued my cockatoo, Mai Tai, about a year and a half ago from some people who weren't taking care of him. He's doing great now but since he was stressed and pulled out most of his feathers before I got him, they won't grow back and he's quite the little nudist. He's had a hard life but he's still a badass.
A little over a week ago Mai Tai officially declared war against a red teletubbie that belongs to my dogs. This is the teletubbie they banned a few years ago because it says "faggot faggot, bite my butt." Mai Tai has always hated this teletubbie but the war started when the red teletubbie tried to assassinate Mai Tai and destroy his home by flying straight into the side of his cage. Fortunately, Mai Tai wasn't in his cage at the time but he did see the whole thing happen from the safety of the couch. Since the cage is made of stainless steel, it wasn't damaged and the red teletubbie took more of a beating than anything else. Local residents, Roxanne and Joe Joe(my dogs), witnessed this event and attacked the injured red teletubbie in retaliation. The red teletubbie tried to say it was an accident and later said it was set up because I threw the teletubbie and it can't control where it's thrown but Mai Tai knew better.
The very next day Mai Tai launched an attack on the red teletubbies hideout, the toy bin, by flying over and repeatedly dive bombing the bin. The red teletubbie escaped unharmed but there were several casualties including one of Roxanne's favorite toys, the squeeky zebra who had it's eye and it's squeeker ripped out. A memorial service was later held for the zebra and the other casualties in the kitchen right before they were laid to rest in the trash can. Since then, Mai Tai has been dive bombing the toy bin every day for the past week. While we're all wondering when he'll just get over it, stop the unnecessary toy killings, and let the toys live in peace, Mai Tai refuses to give up and swears he's getting closer to the enemy with each passing day. Mai Tai did actually get ahold of the red teletubbie a few days ago but the teletubbie was able to escape with only a chewed off nose and a missing toe.
The day after the red teletubbie escaped for the second time, Mai Tai declared war against all my red towels. Though the red towels are not involved with the red teletubbie or the assassination attempt in any way, Mai Tai assumes that because the towels are also red they must know something. So far he has shredded two red towels and attacked a few others. Mai Tai has released a statement saying his cause is just and these toys and red towels did not die in vain. He has vowed to capture and kill the red teletubbie even if he has to kill every last toy and red towel in the process.
Here is a picture of my little naked Mai Tai sitting on my friend's porch. Isn't he cute? Too bad he's a vicious toy killer.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-31 15:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's one GIANT bird
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-11-04 20:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this could have been so much better, it was missing the killer blow