Krissi: Attracting Intercontinental Ballistic E-mail Missiles Since 1983 (2459 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.44 on 74 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by krissi (View user info) at 2005-11-07 11:04:31 EST
I'm a girl. What that really means is that occasionally I will be hit on by the opposite sex (And in increasingly more cases, the same sex). Since I'm a nerd like the rest of the online world, I have a MySpace account where there are pictures of me and my personal profile telling the reader general things about me. This does not mean I extend to you an invitation to ask me overtly personal details just because you know what I look like.
What it does do is give you a basic idea of who I am and what I do with my life. No, it does not mean that I am a lonely gal in search of a fat man to sweat on me, or someone to try and anally violate me when I'm not looking. The following are actual people, sending me actual emails on MySpace. My preliminary question is: Would you say any of this to anyone in person? If not, don't send it to me online. Without further ado, I give you the most desperate humans on the planet. (All emails are presented verbatim with all spelling errors and mental incapacity intact.)
"Hey darling
I'm Ahmed 26 years old Egyptian I work as an accountant. and I have been in Uk for study 2003/2004
i looking for long-term relation built on honest feeling end with marriage and I'm very serious about this matter then I promise to take care of her and deal with her as princess and give her all my love and respect .
i hope will be with u
can you tell me all about you?
Where r u from??
Where r u at now??
What about your education?
What about your life?
Do u work?
Do u have kids?
Have u ever been married?
What kind of men u like?
Can u give me your mail and your contact number to call you if you don't mind?
My mail ID: notgoingtogetmeever.at.yahoo.com
**********************************************************************
Please note: I don't like to talk to African girls who lie here or Russian girls or girls from Philippine.
**********************************************************************
Bye
Ahmed"
--Alright, first off, you live in Europe. Second, you're either in a mad dash to write me an email so you can go into your backyard to molest animals, or you're an epileptic on speed with a thyroid problem and need to do everything so quickly as to get back to staring at the wall, trying to find the cryptography that the aliens planted there for you to find. If you've been in college (I'm guessing that's what "study" means, and not reading children's books in an alley) for 2 years, then you should have the common courtesy to realize that a 21-year-old American girl is most likely not going to be an incubator housewife.
I must say that if you have any form of higher education, clearly "u" should be able to take the extra minute AT BEST to not sound like a sheltered 14-year-old girl with only AIM friends. I honestly believe that this guy is out of his goddamn mind, thinking that I will just go "FUCK HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM! I'm going to drop EVERYTHING and move to Europe so I can find out that he's a convicted murderer who has a 3-inch penis and smells like he sleeps with fuckin' camels. If you even want me to consider even talking to you, include at least a few pictures. And don't call me darling.
No Ahmed, I'm not going to contact you, mainly because I feel that you and I wouldn't agree on certain things. Mainly that I think you're a world-renowned child molester, and that "u" "r" a fucking retard.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You're cute. And I like vikings. And Im a litttttle drunk, but still.....msg me back whether i should ever msg you again...going to providence is 1.50 so yea..I dunnO? Id like to chat at least...yours truly, James."
--This was at least the sanest email sent to me. He's around my age and not that bad looking. There are two things, however, that I must say about this. One, you have no shot because I have a boyfriend. Two, the Viking comment not only came out of left fuckin' field, but also has nothing at all to do with trying (unsuccessfully, I might add) to pick me up. If you walked up to a woman and said hello, then immediately afterwards said, "I think that we are eating too much garlic as a society," well then I'm going to take a pencil out and stab you.
Really, if you want me to respond to you without thinking that you're 15 year old boy who has never seen a tit in his life, and is hoping to fool me into talking to him more, then at least take fifteen seconds to run your message though a spell checker. This is the first impression you want to make with me? Great job, Champ, you'll get me naked in no time at all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey there Crissi, having a fun halloween weekend?"
--This guy clearly is out of his mind. It may seem innocent enough, but he's 27 and gives off the vibe that he leads a double life as an honest McDonalds fryilator employee, and then is a criminal psychopath narcissist at night who makes plastic molds of his own ass just to gape at its beauty.
And the number one thing to never EVER fucking do to a girl is to get her name wrong. I could understand it if you were on drugs or had just dropped fifty tabs of acid, but IT'S WRITTEN THE FUCK DOWN on my webpage. Cut and paste you tool-bag, you don't even have to REMEMBER my name to get it right. And you have no right to ask me about a fake holiday and what I plan to do with it.
PUT THE PENIS DOWN SIR, I AM NOT COMING OVER.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love the red hair...
... and the math interest...
......and living in Providence, great small city....
and you just seem interesting in general...
Skipper"
--How can I take a guy who calls himself "Skipper" seriously? Even beyond that, I don't even know if I could hold a full conversation with this man without passing out. My first impression of this guy is that his voice comes and goes with the fucking wind. If you can't hold onto a thought for more than 12 seconds, get a hammer, and hit yourself in the right testicle. The words that will come out of your mouth afterwards will form the longest paragraph that you will ever write down.
Never mind the strangeness, this guy is 33. The only way to really find my profile is to actively search for my age group . . . Which happens to be ELEVEN years younger than him. I don't know if you noticed, but you've probably got 6 kids under your belt and a raging case of Syphilis. He compensates for this by wearing pink popped-collar shirts that make me want to tear out his eyes, turn them around on him and say, "LOOK YOU FUCKER! SEE HOW GAY YOU ARE? DO YOU SEE NOW GOD DAMN IT?" Die.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Which one is your favourite?
Men's Top 10 things not to say at Victoria Secret
10. Does this come in Children's sizes?
9. No thanks, just sniffing.
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind
7. Mom will love this
6. Oh, the size won't matter, she's inflatable.
5. No need to wrap it, I'll eat it here.
4. Will you model this for me?
3. The miracle what???
2. $45? Your just gonna be naked anyway.
1. Oh, honey you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!"
--And. . . What did you hope to accomplish by sending me this? You're 49 and sending me a Top-Ten list. No, you are not as funny as David Letterman, and HE'S not even that funny. Am I going to drop my skirt and start rubbing myself because you were mature enough to walk into Victoria's Secret without giggling like a moron and running outside to tell all your teenage friends who only keep you around so you can buy them alcohol? No. I prefer to talk to men who live in the "real" world.
By the way, if you ever figure out Victoria's secret, it's that she filed a restraining order against you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wanna suck on your tongue. I love hot kissing while I run my finger tips around your breasts and across your nipples. I would crawl down your body, running my tongue across your skin, until I was seated between your legs. I would lower my face into that wet pussy of yours and inhale deeply, taking in your scent before running my tongue down the inside of your thigh, down your leg, and kiss your ankles. I would drink wine off the soles of your feet, and suckle your toes before going back up your other leg (in the same delicate fashion) back to your wet, pink pussy. I would suck one of your lips onto my tongue, and stroke it softly, before moving to the other. After taking plenty of time to taste you and get your worked up, I would close my lips around your clitty and circle it slowly with my tongue until your breathing became heavy and staggered. Then I would suck the glorious nib until you began to writhe under my touch. Wetting a finger, I would slowly slide it into your ass while I sucked your clitty. In and out, slowly, my finger would massage the nerves of you bum while I suck your clit until your cry out for me to finish you off.....
Interested?
SC
--I have three words for you. FUCKING CREEP SHOW. If your first words to me are, "I wanna suck on your tongue," you have social issues. This might have turned me on if maybe she didn't have the writing talent of a 2x4 with a horny face drawn on it. This chick (Yes, it's a WOMAN, who is fat and has the breasts of a Peruvian llama) sounds like she writes the scripts for Inside the Actor's Studio with James Lipton. I got so bored with this one that I learned to speak Swahili, adopted and raised a small Halfrican child to the age of 29, and perfected crystalloid fusion before I came back and finished it.
Needless to say, AGAIN, this is not the way to pick me up. Would you talk to the cashier at the liquor store that way? "Alright ma'am, that'll be $46.29." "OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO LUBE YOUR ASS AND WE'LL HAVE A HOT ORGY IN THE WOODS!" No, no, no, no, and yet again, no. Anal sex with me comes at a price far too high for any credit card company and/or Federal government to loan out.
I'm canceling my memberships immediately.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-02-22 14:52:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post made me very angry.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-10 07:01:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-11-09 00:22:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nine out of ten women have never been funny once in their lives. """
===
HAHAHAH
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-10 00:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-11-09 00:22:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nine out of ten women have never been funny once in their lives. """
FINALLY! The bitter twisted old hag says something sensible!
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-11-10 00:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday! Best wishes.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-11-09 00:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nine out of ten women have never been funny once in their lives.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-09 00:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
to be honest love, you have a nice body but your boat race is a bit on the mingin side.
judging by your photos that is.
it's weird meeting people when their faces are animated etc the doggiest bird can be very attractive.
in short, extract yourself from your own arse.
if you are gay enough to have a myspace account, accept the consequences.
Submitted by malefic (user info) at 2005-11-08 23:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-11-08 23:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Superiority fucking complex.
I read it again and can't believe I missed how stuck up you were the first time round.
Get a grip, bitch.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2005-11-08 22:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-11-08 22:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-08 16:48:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't detect a bit of satire here.
i did detect being called a fat sweaty guy though! (which i am)
=======================
That wasn't actually directed at you in the least. Deal. I was more talking about the 50 year old guys that email me or the wedgerats that contact me.
Submitted by Shifty (user info) at 2005-11-08 17:39:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I think that we are eating too much garlic as a society,"
+2 just for that, but the rest wasn't at all bad
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-11-08 16:59:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WOW THIS IS EDGY YOU OWNED THEM GOOD LOLOLOLOLULLUO;P;POLPO;;PLL
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-08 16:48:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't detect a bit of satire here.
i did detect being called a fat sweaty guy though! (which i am)
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
God made shovels for people so that they could slap morons like you upside the head and dig holes to through the carcass in all without having to change tools.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-08 13:45:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This post sounds like you think you're hot shit.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-08 13:22:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The difference there, Penatmeter is that:
"You're a writer" with an actual body of work that we can reference - you COULD pull this off. As could I.
I'm not feeling it here. This was probably meant "as a joke" but she's dead serious about her opinion on "the losers who would write to her on Myspace" and not witty or clever enough to pull it off AS a satitical piece...although I'm sure she will insist NOW that this was meant that way.
Jared's "J-Date series" : Satire
Almost all of my posts: Satire
This piece of shit: Superiority complex trying to be "cute"
Didn't work for me...maybe it worked for some others.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:55:00 (#)
Ranking: -1
This wasn't satite, pentameter.
I've read her other posts. She meant every word of this.
krissi posts on MySpace, then truly believes she's "above" all the lonely losers who GO to Myspace.
That's not satire...it's just sad.
--------------------
I will admit...the voice this is written is a little harsh, but I took it in a joking manner.
Probably because I have written in this flavor before.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:55:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
don't know why you're getting all the hate. this was pretty funny.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This wasn't satite, pentameter.
I've read her other posts. She meant every word of this.
krissi posts on MySpace, then truly believes she's "above" all the lonely losers who GO to Myspace.
That's not satire...it's just sad.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Does no one on this site understand satire??????
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-07 21:32:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck. Stay away from the internet. It isn't meant for bitchy
sluts who want to make fun of people. -2 DIE!!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-11-07 21:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:58:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE UNATTRACTIVE BUT THEY AREN'T AWARE THAT THEY'RE SUBHUMAN AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO TALK TO YOU
HAHAHAHA
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I fucking love you, Circe. As much as I can love a relatively anonymous website person.
Submitted by celine (user info) at 2005-11-07 20:58:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
These replies are exactly what you should have expected by posting a personal online.
In fact, I could have written all of them myself. You'll never know.
Nah, I'm not that creepy. Just saying, copy/paste doesn't rate high around here.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-11-07 20:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
9. No thanks, just sniffing.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-11-07 20:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:58:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE UNATTRACTIVE BUT THEY AREN'T AWARE THAT THEY'RE SUBHUMAN AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO TALK TO YOU
HAHAHAHA
---------
This coming from the girl who won the 2005 Shrek Look-alike contest
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-11-07 20:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by malbin (user info) at 2005-11-07 15:15:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Your writing is overdone and not very funny. Execpt for the first and last messages, you make insane and degrading assumptions about the people who wrote without really knowing anything about them. Way to be a stuck-up bitch.
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2005-11-07 18:15:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have an account on myspace, but I do have an MSN profile. One of the best e-mails I ever received from someone looking at it was this one:
From : Hotmoroccan5 <user.at.members.msn.com>
Sent : October 12, 2005 6:30:09 PM
To : _StupidLisaGarbageFace_
Subject : Courrier provenant de votre profil public
hello dear,i'm smail from morocco (marrakech),34 years-old.
i love to love and to be loved,i need you to be with me all life if you want and be my soulmate forever.
if you accept,contact me at : elalaoui68.at.hotmail.com or +212-6377-1185
big kisses.
smail.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-11-07 16:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Some good stuff in there but you do come accross as somewhat of a cunt.
no more than most mind.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2005-11-07 15:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:58:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE UNATTRACTIVE BUT THEY AREN'T AWARE THAT THEY'RE SUBHUMAN AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO TALK TO YOU
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-11-07 15:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My fifi is named Krissi.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-11-07 15:17:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes, it is a bit of an elitist approach. While everything that you said may be true, nobody wants to hear someone sounding as inaccessible as you are here. Justin's obviously right in the point he's trying to convey, but that is a point in itself. If it requires explanation, and it's not something of an "inside joke" that only certain users on here will grasp, then it missed the point. All of this, assuming it's satire, of course.
+1 because you're getting more shit than I think you deserve here.
Submitted by malbin (user info) at 2005-11-07 15:15:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your writing is overdone and not very funny. Execpt for the first and last messages, you make insane and degrading assumptions about the people who wrote without really knowing anything about them. Way to be a stuck-up bitch.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-07 15:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:58:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE UNATTRACTIVE BUT THEY AREN'T AWARE THAT THEY'RE SUBHUMAN AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO TALK TO YOU
HAHAHAHA
----
oh noes SNAP-P-P-P-P-P!
+1 FOR BEING THE WHITEST GIRL ON UBERSITE
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-11-07 14:48:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<drools>
Submitted by BananaPhone (user info) at 2005-11-07 14:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
y halo thar buttsecks?
I'm surprised you haven't gotten any of those yet.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-07 14:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey! I'm fat and I sweat a lot!
i'mmmmm faaaatt and iii---iii sweeaaattt a loottttt
i'm fat and i sweat a lot! yaaaay me!
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-11-07 14:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Semi amusing, but could have been much more so.
Also I'm not saying you do but the way put this post forward makes you look like you have an awfully big opinion of yourself.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-11-07 13:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I would drink wine off the soles of your feet." made me laugh, but i'm not overly keen on your attitude. But hey, it's not negative-worthy.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-07 13:11:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"God, she's writing satire, not being an elitist."
I prefer my satire to be humorous.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit guys. . . I think what she's trying to do here is make fun of how weird some people are, not belittle poor, innocent humans just trying to get their fuck on.
God, she's writing satire, not being an elitist.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:33:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Having a MySpace account is scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Replying to other losers with MySpace accounts is scraping the bottom of the toilet.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
cunt
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:24:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am half tempted to seek you out on myspace and send you creepier messages. But, alas, I am lazy, I don't care enough to and you seem pretty stuck up.
I get creepy messages occasionally, and I relish them. Guess it's a guy thing to like creepy weird girls telling you that they want to put horseradish on your taint, and eat it like it's prime rib. Here have a +2!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE UNATTRACTIVE BUT THEY AREN'T AWARE THAT THEY'RE SUBHUMAN AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO TALK TO YOU
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:55:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A friend of mine convinced me to set up myspace a few weeks ago so he could send me some file or something. I don't remember. I haven't checked my account since I set it up.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:50:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:37:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:35:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
" No, it does not mean that I am a lonely gal in search of a fat man to sweat on me, or someone to try and anally violate me when I'm not looking. "
Wait, didn't you date MyNameIsTim?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ohh, total burn!
----------------
Oh yes, stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was funny. Who knew that myspace was such a controversial subject.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, I'll humor you.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what else do you think will come from putting your shit on myspace?
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
And the number one thing to never EVER fucking do to a girl is to get her name wrong. I could understand it if you were on drugs or had just dropped fifty tabs of acid, but IT'S WRITTEN THE FUCK DOWN on my webpage.
..................................................
After dating my current girlfriend for almost two months,
I mispelled both her first and last name while she was standing
right next to me. She wasn't that upset
after 3 hours...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:38:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAH. MYSPACE HAHAHA
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:31:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
MySpace wreaks of desperation, Ms. America.
-----
reeks, Shlongy.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:35:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
" No, it does not mean that I am a lonely gal in search of a fat man to sweat on me, or someone to try and anally violate me when I'm not looking. "
Wait, didn't you date MyNameIsTim?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ohh, total burn!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
" No, it does not mean that I am a lonely gal in search of a fat man to sweat on me, or someone to try and anally violate me when I'm not looking. "
Wait, didn't you date MyNameIsTim?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:32:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:23:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
you are so money, and you don't even know it, baby
<3
----------
what's going on here?
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
There's nothing that strange about a 33 year old man and 22 year old woman though, really. I promise.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatsup drunko???
------------
yeah, what she said
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
MySpace wreaks of desperation, Ms. America.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was a little funny.
Submitted by Wolf (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate to say it, but if you put yourself out there, Expect to be found by people you don't want to deal with.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PUT THE PENIS DOWN SIR, I AM NOT COMING OVER.
Auto Cock-Block +2
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen up, Einstein.
This was well written, but I fucking hate this subject matter. If you post your details on dating websites/websites with your photo included/your personal details, YOU WILL GET GUYS TRYING TO CHAT YOU UP.
If you have half a brain you will realise this, and with the exception of the guy who wanted to suck your tongue, the rest of them were pretty sedate.
No negative rating though, at least it wasn't just a title and a shitty picture.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Clearly this is all your fault for being a girl. You just bring it on yourself, you know, what with your girlness and femalitude out there for everyone to imagine.
What you need to do is start a webpage where you post the pictures and emails of these well-meaning, though perhaps overly-enthusiastic potential suitors, along wiith your interesting responses. Maintain threads. After a few exchanges, let them know they're world-wide on the intarweb.
Ha Ha Embarassment!
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
OOOOOOOKKKK l'LL STOP SENDING YOU THOSE MESSAGES NOW, DUUUUUUUUUHHHH, l DlDN'T REALlSE YOU THOUGHT lT WAS CREEPYYYYY.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are so money, and you don't even know it, baby
<3
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:22:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No, it does not mean that I am a lonely gal in search of a fat man to sweat on me, or someone to try and anally violate me when I'm not looking.
Yes, it does so.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Much as this was all meant as a joke you'll have to forgive me for recoiling in horror at the snooty bitchiness of your 'opinions'. Besides, the whole "look at this zany email!" has been done to death.
You're a pretty girl Krissi but I'm starting to wonder if you know that a little too well.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatsup drunko???
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
=)
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank your lucky stars. I'd give anything to have a viking hit on me.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:13:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You're cute. And I like vikings"
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. . . Please give me cool lessons Krissi!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:10:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This seems to be the new "OMG YOU R TEH FUNNYI!" formula....