I Want Knew Brain (649 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.93 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sinna (View user info) at 2005-11-07 11:33:01 EST
Inspired by: http://www.ubersite.com/m/78409
Believe it or not I've corrected a few of the spelling mistakes that were in the original. If MS Word had fists it would have punched me out for pasting such a head-fuck.
Brains, intelligence, grey matter, they always seem to come up in conversation don't they.
When looking in magazines and on tv I've never really felt inadequate, even with the vacant look that seems to be so attractive, in fact with a fat head I thought I had ample.
Well I did until the weekend.
Out in a club with my sister, drinking, dancing, you can picture the scene. When nature called and off we went as girls do to the toilet together, and as there is always at girls toilets, there was a queue. So a little put out, but nevertheless we joined the queue.
So we chatted away about..... duuuer..shopping, yeah know girly stuff, when something caught my sisters eye. The girl next to us had a very revealing top on and it seemed would pass the pencil test with flying colours.
Very impressed my sister asked what bra she had on, the which she replied very proudly
'none I've had a lobotomy'.
We both looked at each other and then back at the boobs.... and then at each other again and then another quick look at the boobs. To be honest, we'd forgotten what was going on.
I felt drawn to them (suppose this is how retards and children feel about hot items) and reached out to touch, closer and closer, then suddenly realising what I was doing and wipping my hand back.
Seeing our obvious interest the girl (who we now know as Kate) pushed her chest out and said
'ahuuuuur dumm errrr, yeah hehu.'
We both looked at eachother, shrugged and scratched ourselves, ignoring the funny looks we were getting from the back of the queue.
It was weird, I always thought that minge was better, but scatching my arse was pretty satisfying too. I thought it was like preferring chucking your genital warts to eating them. But no they weren't solid just firm and round and they looked great!
So thats it I want knew brain!
Any donations would be greatfully recieved please email me on selfindulgentmoron.at.gmail.com
User Reviews
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Another winner.
Submitted by FWFIV (user info) at 2006-01-13 10:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And this is the standard you judge me by?
Submitted by bandphotographer (user info) at 2005-11-09 20:33:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You and your sister make the world a better place.
+2 Fairy
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78386#1675934
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:45:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-07 19:47:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
You can't write or spell, either. Give up the writing
attempts and stick to hooking.
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"Believe it or not I've corrected a few of the spelling mistakes that were in the original. If MS Word had fists it would have punched me out for pasting such a head-fuck."
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-07 19:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:56:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy".
The term is "pre-frontal lobotomy". It's often intentionally printed or spoken as "frontal lobotomy" so that it reads better on a T-shirt or is easier to slur at your drunken barmate. That speaks volumes, actually.
Even though it's only slightly more difficult to say "I'd rather have a pee bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy", that version lacks the free-wheeling, alcoholic, fuck-it-allness of the former phrase although it's likely just as true. Of course, one could say. "I'd rather have a FREE bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy". The phrase isn't anagrammatic to begin with, so dropping the "p" will not affect the delivery. And with this version, the speaker is indicating that the listener(s) might wish to contribute to his further intoxication by making another bottle available to him.
Experiment with other variations, such as WEE, SHE, GLEE, and TOXIC RADIOACTIVE EVIL CARCINOGENIC FOUL-SMELLING POISON GAS
__________________________________________________________
Skrappy, Martin Mull is gonna whup yer ass. . .
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-07 19:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:35:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
You NEED knew brane.
Because you can't punctuate worth a shit.
_______________________________________________________
You can't write or spell, either. Give up the writing
attempts and stick to hooking.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-07 14:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you a +1 for this:
"I felt drawn to them (suppose this is how retards and children feel about hot items)"
but one line in an otherwise shit parody isn't deserving of a +2.
Still love you though.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-07 14:11:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Show yer tits.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-07 13:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It really deserves a -2.7, sweetie pie.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-11-07 13:07:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The term is "pre-frontal lobotomy". It's often intentionally printed or spoken as "frontal lobotomy" so that it reads better on a T-shirt or is easier to slur at your drunken barmate. That speaks volumes, actually.
Even though it's only slightly more difficult to say "I'd rather have a pee bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy", that version lacks the free-wheeling, alcoholic, fuck-it-allness of the former phrase although it's likely just as true. Of course, one could say. "I'd rather have a FREE bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy". The phrase isn't anagrammatic to begin with, so dropping the "p" will not affect the delivery. And with this version, the speaker is indicating that the listener(s) might wish to contribute to his further intoxication by making another bottle available to him.
Experiment with other variations, such as WEE, SHE, GLEE, and TOXIC RADIOACTIVE EVIL CARCINOGENIC FOUL-SMELLING POISON GAS
----------------
Um, cheers.
Come on. Is this really bad enough for -1.7?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:56:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy".
The term is "pre-frontal lobotomy". It's often intentionally printed or spoken as "frontal lobotomy" so that it reads better on a T-shirt or is easier to slur at your drunken barmate. That speaks volumes, actually.
Even though it's only slightly more difficult to say "I'd rather have a pee bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy", that version lacks the free-wheeling, alcoholic, fuck-it-allness of the former phrase although it's likely just as true. Of course, one could say. "I'd rather have a FREE bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy". The phrase isn't anagrammatic to begin with, so dropping the "p" will not affect the delivery. And with this version, the speaker is indicating that the listener(s) might wish to contribute to his further intoxication by making another bottle available to him.
Experiment with other variations, such as WEE, SHE, GLEE, and TOXIC RADIOACTIVE EVIL CARCINOGENIC FOUL-SMELLING POISON GAS
Submitted by Wolf (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:47:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why?
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-07 12:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I thought parodies were supposed to be funny?
You're capable of sooo much better; it could have used a rubber chicken or 2.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:53:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:44:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
This needed much more pretty white girl rape
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Don't we all?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:50:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm going to stick my head into an industrial fan.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:44:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This needed much more pretty white girl rape.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Guess what?
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:35:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
You NEED knew brane.
Because you can't punctuate worth a shit.
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Yeah, I know. It was a parody (possibly a poor one) of the post I linked at the top. I copied it, pasted it and changed some words and added some sentences, but for the most part left the piss poor spelling and punctuation alone.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:39:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
'ahuuuuur dumm errrr, yeah hehu.'
This is a perfect representation of this post.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:36:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
..........different ways to ease the pain the same!
My dad used to sing that song to my brother when he'd do something stupid.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-07 11:35:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You NEED knew brane.
Because you can't punctuate worth a shit.