The Story of Tub-Girl (3682 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.97 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saxon (View user info) at 2005-11-07 20:44:40 EST
Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl called Cinderella who had two ugly stepsisters that were very unkind to her. They made her do all the hard work, sweeping the floors and doing all the dishes while they dressed in fine clothes and attended many parties. Cinderella dreamed of being a princess while she worked but she knew this could never happen, as she was incontinent.
The ugly stepsisters teased her constantly when she peed and defecated in her pants and called her names like Cinderpooper and Urinella, she hated these names but was thankful she had somewhere to live
One day a special invitation arrived at Cinderella's house. It was from the royal palace. The king's only son who was a truly handsome prince was going to have a grand ball. Three girls were invited to come. Cinderella knew she wouldn't be allowed to go to the ball. But the ugly sisters were excited. They couldn't talk about anything else.
When the day of the ball came, they made such a fuss. Poor Cinderella had to rush about upstairs and downstairs. She fixed their hair in fancy waves and curls. She helped them put on their expensive new dresses. And she arranged their jewels just so. As soon as they had gone, Cinderella sat down by the fire and read the invitation again. She felt the warmth of urine run down her legs as she said. "Oh I do wish I could go to the ball".
The next moment, standing beside her was a smelly old lady with a bent silver wand, held together with masking tape, in her hand. "Cinderella, she said wobbling a little bit and breathing alcohol over the pretty girl " I am your fairy godmother and you shall go to the ball. But first you must go get a dildo, a homeless man and a ferret.
With a wave of her wand there was a loud bang filling the room with smoke but nothing had changed. "Shit" exclaimed the fairy godmother "My bloody wand is on the blink again". Lifting her skirt above her hips she backed up to the dildo, the homeless man and the ferret, and bending at the knees she farted loudly. Fairy dust shot from her arse. The dildo turned into a fine coach pulled by the ferret that was now an elegant white horse. The homeless man was now a well-dressed coachman who opened the door for Cinderella to step inside.
"You must be home by midnight, the spell will only last until then," the smelly old lady said as she passed out on the floor. Cinderella in a new pretty evening dress stepped over the now prone fairy godmother and hopped into the coach to set off to the ball.
When Cinderella arrived at the ball she looked so beautiful that everyone wondered who she was! Even the ugly sisters. The Prince of course asked her to dance with him and they danced all evening. He would not dance with anyone else.
Dead on eleven o'clock there was a loud bang filling the dance hall with smoke. Cinderella looking down realised she had changed back into her old clothes, "That stupid fucking bitch" she said as she ran toward the stairs "She said midnight the drunken old hag".
Seeing Cinderella running toward the exit the prince took off calling her name. Feeling a familiar lump in her pants Cinderella lifted her skirt and pulling her panties to one side as she ran, the lump fell with a plop onto the ground.
Tripping over the dildo the prince saw Cinderella drop something and quickly stood and realised Cinderella had dropped a turd. Gazing on the turd he marvelled at its soft colour and fine texture. Scooping it up he brought it close to his nose and sniffing its sweet aroma he decreed, "I will marry the beautiful girl who dropped this turd".
The very next day the prince began his quest to find the girl who left him the wondrous turd. He went from house to house inspecting and sniffing the turds of all of the single women in the land but couldn't find one that matched the beautiful specimen left by Cinderella.
Feeling a little despondent with the lack of success of his search the prince knocked on Cinderellas door. After explaining his quest the ugly stepsisters squatted on the floor and delivered turds for the prince to inspect. Turning up his nose at both offerings he was about to leave when a pretty girl entered the room.
"She didn't go to the ball" both ugly sisters chimed when they noticed the princes gaze fall upon Cinderella. "I still should inspect a turd from her just in case" the prince stated. "She always has a turd in her pants" The stepsisters chimed as they lifted Cinderellas dress, pulling her pants down. A turd fell from her panties as the stepsisters said "She's incontinent you know".
The princes eyes lit up when he realised the turd on the floor was identical to the one left at the ball. Cinderella and the prince were married right away. Cinderella became famous on the Internet using the pseudonym of Tub Girl and they lived happily ever after.
User Reviews
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-10-20 02:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto+2 throwback Saxon.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-10-20 01:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-11-10 03:10:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-11-10 00:14:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, Saxon... By now some idiot usually screws up a +2 streak by accident, if not on purpose.
You've had better posts with much worse reviews, but you deserve it anyway. Good job.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-11-10 00:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WantageJamie (user info) at 2005-11-09 11:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome! first post i've rated. I like alot!
:) uberpr0zer - lol, does this mean i'm cool
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-09 08:39:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Better be careful, rad's going to be along to gay up your post here real soon.
Or maybe Cadrach, the great equalizer. Who knows?
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:27:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Disney needs to release this on dvd.
Submitted by clit_commander (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
incontinence
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW
Thanks for sparing us the real pic, by the way.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-08 13:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've given out 8 +2's today.
47 -2's as well, but nobody's perfect.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-08 13:16:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now you and Mr. Peabody should get in the Way-Back Machine...
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-11-08 13:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. You even got a +2 from Shlongy. Now that's something.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-08 13:12:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always wondered where she came from.
Now I know. Thank you.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-11-08 13:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There is a reason I put you on my list yesterday.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:58:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. just.....wow.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:58:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot "The End" but that's alright.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:55:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"as she was incontinent."
I thought of that pun the other day...just for tub girl too! Great minds, I guess.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:48:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do you come up with this shit?
No pun intended.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:15:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Feeling a familiar lump in her pants Cinderella lifted her skirt and pulling her panties to one side as she ran, the lump fell with a plop onto the ground"
--------------------------------------------------------
Is she related to Paula Radcliff?
--------------------
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<poops>
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Feeling a familiar lump in her pants Cinderella lifted her skirt and pulling her panties to one side as she ran, the lump fell with a plop onto the ground"
--------------------------------------------------------
Is she related to Paula Radcliff?
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I too was expecting a tubgirl pic. +2 for not putting one on.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I ever read a post by you that has nothing to do with bodily functions I think I will die of shock.
Twice.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:13:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:44:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know whether to laugh or puke.
-Dave
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-11-08 08:31:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was half expecting a picture of Tubgirl , thank God you didn't !! Great touch with Cinderalla
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny but wrong. So very wrong.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know whether to laugh or puke.
-Dave
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-08 05:49:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This is pure genius. Saxon at his very best.
I read most of your stuff Saxon, and I gotta say that although you're consistently funny, this is your best in a good while. Well done old chap!
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2005-11-08 05:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hexidecimal (user info) at 2005-11-08 05:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-11-08 03:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another wicked post Mr Saxon. They just keep on coming don't they?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-07 23:31:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for Tubgirl.
My friends and I were just talking about her while watching the football game.
For a while now we've always theorized that her 'tubbing juice' has been some strange form of green orange juice.
But tonight, with Halloween on my mind, I offered a new idea: her juice is, instead, a mixture of orange juice, whole milk, and the special ingredient: nougat.
This got us off on a tangent about the limitless varieties of Tubgirl Mixtures, and how she could truly be like Tropicana or Minute Maid OJ - some days are Homestyle Tubgirl, others calcium-rich, pulp-heavy Tubgirl, etc...
Definitely the longest tubbin' jam session to date.
Good story. The Cinderella link was a nice touch. Tuberella, maybe?
Enjoy this pertinent linkwhore. It makes for a fine drinking song if you've got the stomach for it:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/75250
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-11-07 22:34:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty funny.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-11-07 22:16:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-11-07 22:11:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good shit man. I was worried for a minute until I read:
"I am your fairy godmother and you shall go to the ball. But first you must go get a dildo, a homeless man and a ferret. "
Then I knew this post was gonna be good.
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-11-07 21:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lol.. priceless!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-11-07 21:31:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice story as usual
******
since you're a fellow enthusiast; i was wondering if your country provided you with
multiple links, that update themselves every 1 minute, like this one?
http://www.calaggieflyers.com/AWOS/sai.html
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-11-07 21:24:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
My story was much shorter, and much different.
linkwhore: http://www.ubersite.com/m/76883
Watch out for the bastard that gives posts like this negative ratings because he claims it's "already been done".
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-07 21:21:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The three sugly isters told about a purd in Cinderfella's tants. . .
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-11-07 20:56:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 for a Saxon post at its finest.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-11-07 20:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So THAT'S where she came from!
Hahahaha
I sometimes picture you, sitting at your computer, typing out stories about farts and turds and dildos and............I worry about you.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-11-07 20:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahah. Delicious.