The Soulless XII <- in talks for a book deal! (731 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.69 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Anthony Locascio (View user info) at 2005-11-08 01:47:44 EST
I am fucking thrilled like a coked-up penguin to say that I have gotten some interest in publishing this as a full book. I'll keep you guys posted, but you may see me on the shelves before too long! And now we continue the story....
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Installment I http://www.ubersite.com/m/62497
Installment II http://www.ubersite.com/m/62652
Installment III http://www.ubersite.com/m/63199
Installment IV http://www.ubersite.com/m/63469
Installment V http://www.ubersite.com/m/63641
Installment VI http://www.ubersite.com/m/63848
Installment VII http://www.ubersite.com/m/64005
Installment VIII http://www.ubersite.com/m/67123
Installment IX http://www.ubersite.com/m/67559
Installment X http://www.ubersite.com/m/68528
Installment XI http://www.ubersite.com/m/70029
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"Want some coffee?"
"Shut up."
"On your period, again? So soon? You should get that checked out."
"I said shut up. Run it again."
"You're going to wear the tape out. We should at least duplicate it..."
"Do it again!" John roared. Luis sighed and rewound the tape for what might have been the fortieth time. The ATM's camera's focus was short, meant mostly to capture bank patrons and prevent holdups. Where the dying Ronnie staggered across the center of the street, the image was somewhat blurry. To make matters worse, the suspect had his back the camera. Blood, black in the two-tone video world, pattered down onto the pavement in an alarming volume. There was no sound, only the buzz of the VCR as the two detectives watched the one man shepherd the other to his death. Just off camera, Ronnie fell to the pavement, his feet kicking gently. Probably from the shock John thought off-handedly. The crouching figure lingered. The timestamp in the corner clicked steadily away as the killer held his ground for five, ten, twenty seconds. When he finally rose and strode off the left side of the frame, Ronnie's foot was no longer twitching.
"Till he died. He stayed right up on him until he died," Luis said quietly. "We have to get this guy."
"Oh we'll get him," John said, standing and punching the eject button on the VCR. The tape popped out and he dropped it back into the evidence bag. Just a question of how many."
"How many what?"
"How many more people he kills between now and when we get him."
"You think he's going to kill more people? We have a serial killer on our hands? Here?"
John handed the bag off to an evidence clerk to be copied and archived. The station house was quieter than usual at the moment. The Buccaneers were kicking off in an hour against Philadelphia, and most of the blues had been deployed to direct traffic and crowd control.
"You saw the tape. This is not a guy who killed because he was afraid, killed because he was panicked." His chair creaked alarmingly as he settled his bulk into it.
Luis took his feet off the desk and leaned forward. Their desks were back-to-back, but he had to sit very upright to meet John's eyes over the veritable mountain of soda cans, fast food wrappers, and empty Styrofoam coffee cups that littered the desk. Luis' desk by contrast was bare with the exception of a Buccaneer's desk set. "You said yourself that this guy was a hustler, a cheat. He couldn't have pissed somebody off, maybe ripped off the wrong buyer?"
"No, I don't think so at all. Oh yeah, he could have pissed the wrong person off, sold somewhere he wasn't supposed to, maybe stepped on somebody's toes. Tell me, when did you ever hear about somebody getting their guts cut out, even to send a message? It's just not what these guys do, it's not the way they work. A round through the head is about as deep as most of these guys go."
"What about the Colombians? You know the old bit about a 'Colombian necklace'."
"This ain't Colombia, bro. You cut a man's throat over ten million in cocaine, people might understand you need to send a message. You don't cut a man's throat over a fifty dollar bag of weed. You just give him a ten cent bullet."
It was Luis' turn to lean back in his chair. John was looking at him plaintively.
"Do you have even a shred of evidence to back any of this up?" Luis asked after a long silence.
"Not a bit," John stretched lazily, scanning his desk for a crumb of something he might have missed. His blood sugar was crashing bigtime.
"If we have a serial killer on our hands, what the hell are we doing here jawjacking?"
"What should we be doing? Forensics won't be done for days, they're so backed up. And we don't have a serial killer on our hands yet. We have a killer. But we'll have a serial killer soon enough."
"Jesus. Why couldn't we get Eileen Wuornos, someone who uses a pistol the way you're supposed to?"
"You'll get another shot most likely. Check the stats. Behind California and New York, Florid is third in the nation for the number of serial killers. Must be the sun."
"If we have a serial killer on our hands, shouldn't we be on the phone to the feds? We could use a profiler and some consultants,"
John waved a hand dismissively. "We're not going to get FBI to come down here on one murder. Patience, my friend. There are only two things that can happen. Either we'll catch the guy before he strikes again, which we won't, or we'll be fishing some other poor bastard out of the river before too soon and begin building a patter. Guys like these, you can't catch them from behind. You have to be ahead of them, and the only way we can do that is by seeing him work."
"So we have to wait for more people to die before we can do our job?"
"You said it, not me. And you're damn correct."
The phone on John's desk rang loudly, rattling on the glass blotter. He dropped forward heavily in his chair and snatched the handset out of the cradle. "Glaim here......yeah........okay. We're on our way." He dropped the phone back into the cradle. "That was Scorby. They just found Padilla and his two boys. Shotgunned to death outside of Davis Island."
Luis looked levelly at John, who stared back at him nonplussed. "Okay, so that's over. Now what?"
John stood and shrugged on,his shoulder holster, which barely fit around the flesh of his back. "Like you said, more people are dead. Now we can do our job."
User Reviews
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-01-06 19:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Viper_04 (user info) at 2005-11-13 05:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You've left me thirsting for more....MORE!!!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-11-09 12:21:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-11-09 09:49:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope your book deal works out. You are an AWESOME writer.
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:52:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I haven't read these, but +2 for a potential book deal.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with what thecaes said.
"This is not a guy who killed because he was afraid, killed because he was panicked."
That line seemed really fake and forced to me. Like it was some low-budget, ridiculously cliched film noir detective story. Basically, I know you're a talented enough writer that you shouldn't have to resort to stilted cliches to get your point across.
POST INSTALLMENTS MORE OFTEN, DAMN YOU.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:03:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've just read all of these today and the are really good. i'm not surprised you've had a book offer. it's definately that kind of standard.
Good work that man.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:47:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I already got a deal for this story.
I was just waiting for you to finish it.
(don't ring up doubleday)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
If you get the deal, you have to post the details on how to get a copy.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. I didn't like the rewinding the tape thing, it was kind of forced and cliched...for John to be watching it over and over, and then to watch it only one more time (so the reader could 'see' it) before casually dropping it in the evidence bag, doesn't make sense. Also, doesn't really match his laid-back character. And, if that was the fortieth time they watched the tape, you'd think they'd have already noticed that the man stayed with the victim until he died, unless they're a little slow. The whole thing just read like you were trying to force drama into a moment where it didn't belong.
Otherwise, everything was good.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-11-08 04:58:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah really, good luck, sounds like a killer
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-11-08 04:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bon Chance.