I can't sleep cuz of her (Part II) (1239 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.73 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Xcuses (View user info) at 2005-11-08 06:25:37 EST
Since I can't write exciting stories like Circe, write with the frequency of a Loki, babble on like my main man Badass, or cover every topic imaginable like Tiger, I'm stuck writing about my life. Since I have met many of you, it's easier to share and people seem to be interested. Lately I've been writing about my love life. It's the most exciting happening to me right now and fresh on my mind.
Yesterday was my first day back from work after a few days off. If you didn't get a chance to read what I did on one of my days off, here's your chance... http://www.ubersite.com/m/78388. So I get back to work and like usual the first day back is always the roughest. Many emails to read and respond to, in addition to finding out what problems occurred when you're gone. For some reason, my regional manager thought it was a good day to be a thorn in my side. Although my department has been realizing exciting growth of late, he still isn't satisfied, which I guess is the job of all managers' right? This day just never was going to get better, until later.
My new girlfriend, who I have mentioned in many of my latest posts, is going on a business trip starting today. Although I saw her this weekend, I really wanted a chance to see her before she left for her three day trip. At first she said she didn't know if she would have time, but soon realized she wanted to spend time with me as well. After telling her about my crummy day at work and how I needed to smile, she asked what she could do for me. Without skipping a beat, I told her that it would be really nice if when I showed up, she was wearing a really sexy outfit. She asked what color I had in mind.
Finally work had ended and I couldn't get out the door fast enough. On my way to her place, I picked up dinner and a little dessert (I have a sweet tooth). As I approached her door, I started thinking what outfit she decided to go with. I knocked and waited patiently for her to answer. The door opens, and she sticks her head out, without revealing her attire. I step inside to a candle-lit filled room and soft music in the background. Behind the door she appears, and I was not disappointed in the least. Her outfit consisted of thigh high's, beautiful matching bra and sexy panties, and a see through soft robe. Without saying a word, she took my hand and led me to her bedroom.
More candles filled the room and we started to undress each other. She looked better than ever and I couldn't stop smiling. She told me that tonight we were going to 'make love'. After some extremely passionate love making, we lay in bed, and that is when we opened up our hearts to one another. I admit it, I am a romantic, and I'm sure guys reading this now are about to call me gay, sappy, etc...don't care! We expressed our deep feeling for one another and the "L Bomb" made its way into both our vocabularies. It was a magical feeling, one that I haven't had in well over six years.
I don't know how this relationship will end. I can't say we will spend the rest of our lives together. What I can say is that for now, I am happier than I have been in quite some time. I think she is too. I look forward to both the positive and negative feedback this post will undoubtedly bring. Shlongy can say I should dump her because he banged her last week, it won't faze me. Badass can tell me she used to be a guy, I say, blow me. I'm in love, and even you people, Uberites, can't ruin this.....but I look forward to you trying.
User Reviews
Submitted by GoodGirl (user info) at 2005-11-09 14:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
VERY amusing
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 18:32:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Orgasmo- but getting laid hasn't really been a problem of mine.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-08 17:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're free to use that as you like. I'd suggest memorizing it and playing it off like you just came up with it out of the blue. Tell her it's an occasional poem in honor of your night together. It'll get you laid faster than you can say "merangue."
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-08 16:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:47:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Save the Xcuses for someone who cares,
One with high-thighed love and see-through she-robe;
Before my heart, on business, takes to air,
She's certain to caress my meaty lobe.
O Inbox, show not your fatted folders,
Spare your arrows, Voicemail - show me quarter,
Time, fill not my day with pencil holders,
Boner-friendly thoughts make hours grow shorter.
L-bombs drop like nukes o'er Nagasaki,
Come, dear, let's enjoy the radiation -
My ladel dips into your vat of sake,
Your rice wine sex, it sure beats masturbation.
These candles burn and ebb as time does pass,
But, fuck, they sure do singe my naked ass.
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nobody should be allowed to post poetry here but you
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 16:19:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-08 16:13:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
It means that this was too sweet for my system to process.
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gotcha
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-08 16:13:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It means that this was too sweet for my system to process.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:34:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was in love once *sigh* but he adjusted to his dosage and managed to escape.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:13:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-08 14:49:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh gawd, I'm in insulin shock here
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 14:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-08 14:25:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
You sounded younger than 35 on the phone.
-------------------
I look younger than 35 too!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-08 14:25:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
You sounded younger than 35 on the phone.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 13:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Make love not war. I should be our next President
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SIGH...
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:58:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Save the Xcuses for someone who cares,
One with high-thighed love and see-through she-robe;
Before my heart, on business, takes to air,
She's certain to caress my meaty lobe.
O Inbox, show not your fatted folders,
Spare your arrows, Voicemail - show me quarter,
Time, fill not my day with pencil holders,
Boner-friendly thoughts make hours grow shorter.
L-bombs drop like nukes o'er Nagasaki,
Come, dear, let's enjoy the radiation -
My ladel dips into your vat of sake,
Your rice wine sex, it sure beats masturbation.
These candles burn and ebb as time does pass,
But, fuck, they sure do singe my naked ass.
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I met a guy on October 27th and we've already mentioned the L word.
We can't see each other enough. It's amazing to actually read what exactly what we're experiencing. I thought we were the luckiest people in the world. But now I see it's everywhere.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're sappy *and* ghey.
+2 for twwwwuuuuu luuurve.
"Mawwige is what bwings us heawh today..."
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:01:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you reckon she'd enjoy underwater sex? 'Cause I've got a cracking idea if she does.
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We won't know until Bart validates her user name, but I'll bet she's open to suggestions.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:46:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:39:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:35:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoopee Fucking Shit.
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hahahaha
You should tell her about uber and have her start posting so that we can get her side of the story, too.
P.S. I'm happy for you. You should think of something nice to do for her while she's gone.
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Do you reckon she'd enjoy underwater sex? 'Cause I've got a cracking idea if she does.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:39:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:35:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoopee Fucking Shit.
-----
hahahaha
You should tell her about uber and have her start posting so that we can get her side of the story, too.
P.S. I'm happy for you. You should think of something nice to do for her while she's gone.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:36:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the hell are you? Get to
work and e-mail.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-08 08:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Somebody's in love....Somebody's in love.....laa laaa laaaaaalaaaaaa
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-11-08 08:29:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That is just too romantic. So sweet. Good luck with all that. :)
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause I'm in love at the moment myself, as sappy as that sounds.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:51:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:51:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
indoninja is a TRUE romantic.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So did you put it in her pooper? If she went down on you right after that then it is true love.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
</ghey>
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:35:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO RAD...I...ER...I WAS TALKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE...YOUR STILL MY ONLY BOY.
(x call me...please)
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:30:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU BEEN STEPPING OUT ON ME BADASSMOFO
I PITY THE FOOL WHO FIGHTS CLUBBER LANG (or some similar remark)
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:25:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GODDAMN YOU, YOU TWO TIMING FUCKING HUZZY! IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU NO ONE WILL WATCH YOUR BACK FAGGOT!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-08 07:24:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I must be in a weird freakin' mood, I'm rating loved up posts with a positive.
Nicely done.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:38:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:35:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoopee Fucking Shit.
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someone needs to get laid
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I fall into that category too.
Good luck man.
-Dave
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:38:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:35:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoopee Fucking Shit.
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someone needs to get laid
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Probably. Can't see that happening any time soon though.
Congrats on escaping the mire of loneliness and self-loathing.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:38:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:35:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoopee Fucking Shit.
-----------
someone needs to get laid
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoopee Fucking Shit.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
0.5
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not feeling romantic today.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:28:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
east = easy in my world
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-08 06:27:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just in case people wanted an east to link to Part I-->http://www.ubersite.com/m/77120