LeBron James: God Among Men (2881 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: sports
Rating: 0.47 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom Sorrell - sorrelltr.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2005-11-08 09:47:42 EST
"LeBron James is a two ton man-mountain who can palm a medicine ball!"
"LeBron James is the father of every kid in Cleveland!"
"LeBron James once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"
"One time I was with LeBron in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. LeBron goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm LeBron James! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Lebronjames' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!' "
"Dan Castellaneta put a stethoscope to LeBron's mother's stomach to get inspiration for Homer Simopson's voice."
"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"
"His poop is used as currency in Ohio."
"He sweats Powerade."
"I once saw him scissor kick Mariah Carey."
"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."
"He hates tall people! And he is 6'8" himself! .......And he hates irony!"
"Did I ever tell you about the time LeBron took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally LeBron takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. LeBron yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken, feet and all."
"His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson."
"He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he is pretty normal when it comes to that."
"He did 3 tours in Iraq, even though he was only six years old. In fact, I was in Cleveland on business a month ago and I went out to dinner. While I was there, I had this eight foot tall Arab waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Akbar Derka Bin James!"
"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."
"He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."
"LeBron was the inspiration for "Above the Rim,' 'He Got Game," and 'Coach Carter.' "
"He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."
"He was originally going to play Gandalf in 'The Lord of the Rings,' but halfway through production he slam dunked Sean Astin and was fired on the spot."
"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."
"LeBron drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"
"The Pope told LeBron it was ok to have a mistress."
LeBron is the son of Jor-El, from the planet Krypton."
"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."
"He ate the Bible while water skiing."
"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."
"LeBron date-raped David Bowie and inhaled a seagull."
"He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."
"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."
"LeBron shoots whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"
"He jogs around Cleveland with a fridge on his back!"
"He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."
"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."
"We once had a bachelor party for LeBron. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it."
"LeBron once got a woman pregnant and she gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms."
"LeBron's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."
"LeBron James is currently ranked 18th in the latest BCS College Football Pool."
"Did I ever tell you about the time LeBron was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, LeBron chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews."
"His first name is Lebron! ... I'm drunk."
"He breastfeeds John Madden."
"If you drop a phonograph needle on LeBron's nipple, it plays Earth Wind & Fire's Greatest Hits.' "
"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."
"LeBron's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator 2' "
"He thinks the Iron Man is gay."
"He framed Roger Rabbit."
"He has a toenail on the end of his penis."
"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."
User Reviews
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2005-11-08 20:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-11-08 20:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
steve already did this about me
and it was much better
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2005-11-08 20:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
if he didnt play for an ohio team you wouldnt give a shit, ya cake.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-11-08 19:07:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto NBA +2
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-11-08 18:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-11-08 18:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/11885
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2scampi
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-08 15:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'M SORRY, but my man LaDainian begs to differ with you
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:27:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BILL BRASSSSKY IS A SON OF A BITCH!
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-11-08 12:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT BILL BRASKY?!?!?!?!
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, man. I love Bill Braske, hate Lebron.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you might be just a wee-tad obsessed.
GO DUKE DEVILS.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I KNOW BILL BRASKY!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-11-08 11:08:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It was funny, regardless of the source. But I live near Cleveland, and I'm sick of hearing about this guy...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I would have given Bill Brassky a +1.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah...I enjoyed how "God" lost by 40 on Opening Night.
I fucking DESPISE the NBA.
Submitted by Comrade_Lycanthroat (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:52:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No. Just no.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oooh - is that my first time being called an alter?
Cool.
I don't like basketball. It's a game.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:35:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell is enraged baboon? It's from an SNL sketch.
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/25950
SNL is an American thing - give me the BBC any day.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:39:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't enraged baboon used to post around here, trying to get traffic to his site, and then get all pissed off and DEMAND that Bart take down all his posts?
That guy was entertaining for about two weeks.
So, Redskieslookfake is the return of Enraged Baboon?
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:35:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sometimes I get Rad and Kai confused too.
Scientists at Cambridge University should study the phenomenon of people confusing internet screennames that are composed of three letters followed by a series of random numbers where the second letter is "a". I bet the results would be really interesting. Or, really not interesting.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:35:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell is enraged baboon? It's from an SNL sketch.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
www.enragedbaboon.com - Shaq?
Seems fairly similar.
'cept Shaq was cooler.
Basketball is a silly game anyway.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:23:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn right I'm uninspired. I'm sitting here staring at the CPU screen hoping my boss doesn't ask me what I'm doing.
I feel like Peter Gibbons today, but LeBron gives me hope.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:20:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't giving a negative review because I thought you were plagiarising it. Rather, that it was so obvious what you were trying to do that I felt I didn't have to read it, since I'd heard it all before on SNL.
I provided the link so that others could check out the reference, if they didn't know it...not to crucify you to the Rood of Accountability and wait for the buzzards to pick you dry.
So, it's not that you're trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes. It's just that you're uninspired today. Which I can appreciate. Happens to all of us.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:54:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I never get tired of these, but I should.
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The Chuck Norris version is far superior.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
needs more black.
the toenail on the penis made me laugh though
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea man, Kai pissed me off about a week ago because he's a fat, fucking retard and a hypocrite to boot. I saw your name today and for some reason thought of his shenanigans. Again, nothing personal. And go ahead and -2 this again if you like.
Once again, I'm not trying to plagiarize anything. This is from an SNL sketch that I assumed most people have seen. I just love LeBron and his 27 points last night made me do this.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fair enough.
I don't like all the hating anyway.
I like gay sychophantism.
and contradicting myself.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love how everyone talks of plagurism being such a horrible thing and they haven't done it themselves 15 fucking times.
There's nothing new on this site, it's nothing but rehashed bullshit.
This was funny though.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're literary superiority is showing.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad, I apologize. I had you confused with Kai. It's Kai that I hate, not you. I'm sorry. Three letter names seem to confuse me.
Anyway, I'm going to go +2 your last two posts for penance, and I thought everyone would know these are Bill Brasky quotes. I wasn't trying to rip anything off, I just like the idea of using them for LeBron.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:01:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What? I give you some honest criticism about plagiarizing some Bill Brasky qotes without giving credit and you feel you need to dehumanize me in order to somehow think that the 15 seconds it took you do compile this horseshit was somehow worth it.
When I said you set the bar, I meant you set it high for yourself, and when you come out with a shit post like this don't expect Über accolades. It was actually a complement on your writing, you self-important piece of shit.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty funny.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just making sure the unwashed masses here know that this was a cut and paste job, with the name subsitution being the only real difference.
Not everyone knows the triune godhand of magnificence that is Bill Brasky.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't rip it off. I'm not claiming these statements as my own (other than the few I threw in). People who have seen any of the sketches will know that. If you haven't seen any of them, this is basically just several of the "Bill Brasky" quotes from SNL, updated for LeBron - the best basketball player on the planet.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M BILL BRASSKY!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I gave the other version a +2 before I knew you ripped it off.
It's still funny, but this ought to even the karma to a 0.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:54:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rudy would school 'lebron in a game of 1-on-1
also, did you ever notice that Lebron is EXACTLY ONE letter away from LeBaron? the worst convertible ever made?
yeah. think about THAT!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:54:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"LeBron's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:54:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Lebron James: HE'S A NIGGER!!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never get tired of these, but I should.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad, it's too bad you can't get your fat ass over that bar.
And Orgazmo, I think it's pretty obvious what this is. Thanks.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:51:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Bill_Brasky
And you forgot "Like an alligator, he can fully digest a turtle shell."
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"One time I was with LeBron in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. LeBron goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm LeBron James! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Lebronjames' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!' "
-------
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAaa
I shall continue now.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-08 09:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you set the bar.