Teh Hotness Part Four: Johnny Depp (2203 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.56 on 97 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CookieLass (View user info) at 2005-11-10 11:58:55 EST
You love it, you hate it, you know you can't live without it, it's Teh Hotness Part Four: Johnny Depp. Or as I like to call him "Stinky Old Hobo Never Looked So Lickable".
Jesus this one took me all week. I have never seen a more photogenic man in all of my days. Johnny Depp is both the antithesis and apex of all I love in a man. He's scathingly intelligent, heart-burstingly gorgeous, and I think he may be the reason I love brown eyes. But on the same bent, he's scruffy, he looks like he might smell (or steal the family silver while you sleep), and he seems to be allergic to shaving, yet he couldn't grow a full beard if his life depended on it. He is the only man that makes me sad when he hasn't got long hair. He's Johnny Depp.
Trivia!
Full Name: John Christopher Depp II
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 154 lbs.
He was nicknamed "Colonel" by Hunter S. Thompson while he was living in his basement for 3 months, preparing for his role in Fear and Loathing.
Is rumoured to have tried every single drug in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, so as to properly portray the effects.
Played lead slide guitar on the Oasis song "Fade In-Out". He also wrote and played the theme music and track 9 on the CD for Once Upon A Time in Mexico.
When engaged to Winona Ryder, he had "Winona forever" tattooed on his arm. After the broke up, he had the n and a surgically removed to simply say "Wino forever!"
Has been ranked in People Magazine's top 5 most beautiful people 7 times. Has never failed to make the top 50 list since 1992.
Dropped out of school at age 15 to pursue his acting career.
Due to some native American blood, he has very sparse facial hair. As a result, he has a very large collection of fake moustaches. He wore several of them in Once Upon a Time in Mexico.
Owns an 8 foot tall wooden rooster bought from a Stuckey's in North Dakota. Has been known to ask makeup assistants on the set if they would like to come back to his flat and see his 8 foot cock. He'll even let you touch it if you want.
Got his mother's name tattooed on his arm (Betty Sue) in 1988.
Shot all of his scenes in 9 days for Once Upon a Time in Mexico, but after his filming was done he didn't want to leave. So he suggested to Robert Rodriguez that he play a small part, the priest that Antonio Banderas talks to in the church, and use his Marlon Brando impression.
Captain Jack Sparrow was originally to be named "John Pearl", but asked the writers to change it to Jack Sparrow, his nickname for his son.
Based his performance in Pirates of the Carribean on Keith Richards.
Secretly wants to marry me and let me bear his spawn.
Enjoy, everyone.
How It All Began: http://www.ubersite.com/m/77055
Part One: http://www.ubersite.com/m/77385
Part Two: http://www.ubersite.com/m/77867
Part Three: http://www.ubersite.com/m/78337
User Reviews
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-12-15 02:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
teh hottest of hotty hotness.
I needed this. Thanks :-)
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-12-15 02:25:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh God I can't stop coming back.
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2005-12-05 11:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yes Johny Depp, worked with him once. * shrugs *
Yep, huddled with him and the director on the set of his latest film "The Libertine".
I was suggesting a place where Depp's group could snatch a torch from me, whilst on their way cruising for whores.
We swapped manly nods at the conclusion.
That said probably the best looking man I've ever seen, that from a completly comfortable with his sexuality hetero male.
Better looking in real life than on film!
And short.
Very short.
I am thin and I could pick him up and cradle him like a baby.
Yet bristeling with presence.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-12-05 08:53:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God, yes.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:05:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, are you saying that because my boyfriend enjoys working outdoors with his hands, he's stupid? My father was a mechanic back in the day, after being a pilot for the Air Force, and then for Delta later. He's currently a systems analyst for LG. My brother is halfway through becoming a robotics engineer, but intends to continue to be a mechanic because he like the sense of satisfaction he gets from fixing cars. Obviously neither of them are stupid. Jason isn't stupid by a longshot, and he and I have very stimulating conversations. He just enjoys working outdoors. Master welders (which he is well on the way to becoming) make quite alot of money, and it's something he loves to do, so why should I turn up my nose at that? I find it sexy that he's a physically capable man. It's masculine and respectable and frankly, it's hot.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:28:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:27:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Berty, I do! Jason's a welder. But you say that like it's a bad thing. In my book, the ability to do manual labour is a plus, not a minus. I once dated a guy with hands softer than mine, because he had never done an honest days' work in his life. I couldn't bring myself to respect him, so we went our separate ways.
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But you wash his underwear and cook for him, like his mother. You've got to admit that it's a little creepy.
Don't get me wrong, each to their own and all that. Some people like fine wines and good food, some people prefer intellectualy stimulating conversation and company. Other people like to bury their heads in a bucket o' chicken and watch wheel of fortune. Each to their own is what I say.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:27:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Berty, I do! Jason's a welder. But you say that like it's a bad thing. In my book, the ability to do manual labour is a plus, not a minus. I once dated a guy with hands softer than mine, because he had never done an honest days' work in his life. I couldn't bring myself to respect him, so we went our separate ways.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-18 08:35:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bruce Willis is minging. Clearly you have no taste in men and probably sleep with a builder, welder, bus driver or similar manual labourer.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-11-18 08:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-11 08:26:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's alright, domenad... you're entitled to your opinion. I'd like to think that the first four parts of this one were made up of "real men". Have a look.
Oh, and Hugh Jackman, Heath Ledger, Sean Connery, Mel Gobson, and Bruce Willis are all on the list. Jason Statham? Is The Transporter man enough to get a +2? Or at least a 0?
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Statham's good. He's worth a +1 I suppose.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-11-17 15:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely beautiful. I approve.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-16 03:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The hair length seems all wrong for that one.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-15 13:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah, rad. It's definately not Gilbert Grape... I've seen that one about 70 times. I think I may have to break down and rent Chocolat just to put my mind at ease.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-15 02:42:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
judging from that picture I almost want to day Gilbert Grape, but I cannot remember that scene.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-11 16:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to watch 21 Jump Street
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-11 08:26:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's alright, domenad... you're entitled to your opinion. I'd like to think that the first four parts of this one were made up of "real men". Have a look.
Oh, and Hugh Jackman, Heath Ledger, Sean Connery, Mel Gobson, and Bruce Willis are all on the list. Jason Statham? Is The Transporter man enough to get a +2? Or at least a 0?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-11 05:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Surely there is a real man (i.e. Aussie bloke) who gets the ladies juices flowing? Hugh Jackman, Heath Ledger, Eric Bana, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson?
That's the thing about you women, your tastes are so varied, any guy can get some poonanny. Wish it hadn't taken 21 out of my 24 years to recognise that.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-11-11 00:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Okay, Cookie, I am not -2ing you for posting a guy. Johnny Depp is two third's of a queer. He is NOT A MAN! He's a pussified little quasifag, and I have no idea why women would like a guy like that. Heath Ledger, okay. Hugh Jackman, fine. But DEPP?
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-11-10 23:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh, Chocolat.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2005-11-10 20:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Napoleon Dynamite +2!
Oh, and Jonny Depp is wicked hot.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 18:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, rad, we established that. I thought it was an original Vanity Fair photo because it appeared in their magazine, but I was teh wrong.
The debate is surrounding the 4th picture down on the left where he's coming out of the water with the cut on his chest. The men in my office think it's from Nightmare on Elm Street, but they're stupid. I said it wasn't, they each tossed 5 bucks into a bet pool that says it is. One person said it was from Chocolat, when his houseboat explodes, but I haven't seen the movie, so I can't say. Any insight? I know it's a movie still, but I don't know the movie.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-11-10 18:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-10 18:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:43:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:39:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:33:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:38:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I....
<orgasms>
<faints>
-----------------------------
<reaches over to bedside table, lights cigarette, lies back with one hand under head and inhales. Exhales and turns head slightly and smiles at exhausted Peon. Gets up, leaves>
-----------
<gets out from under the bed as Danger_Ranger leaves, makes sure coast is clear...Flicks peons nipple. Runs away>
-------------------------
<cue attn ghey thorpe and williamson gently prying closet door open, checking for fudgepacker, and quickly running over to paw through Peon's copy of Vanity Fair>
---------------------------
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!
THIS IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE REVIEW.
I love you guys.... for the "friend" discount of $5 of course.
Submitted by darkspoon (user info) at 2005-11-10 18:16:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best post ever.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:46:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:20:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:13:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Whaaaaaaaat? *angelic face*
--------------------------
*screws eyes shut reeeeeeeeeeeeeally hard Eric Cartman style...*
I'M NOT EVEN SIXTY YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well you look 60 hehehehe
---------------------------
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk you!!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
isn't the bathtub one from "From Hell"?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:52:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good actor.
great sketch.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:20:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:13:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Whaaaaaaaat? *angelic face*
--------------------------
*screws eyes shut reeeeeeeeeeeeeally hard Eric Cartman style...*
I'M NOT EVEN SIXTY YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well you look 60 hehehehe
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:32:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY! I have to admit that most of the time he totally looks like a homeless heroin addict who gets his drug money by blowing teh ghey menz and a lot of things about him would totally turn me off if it were any other guy but oh my god I LOVE HIM!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:13:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Whaaaaaaaat? *angelic face*
--------------------------
*screws eyes shut reeeeeeeeeeeeeally hard Eric Cartman style...*
I'M NOT EVEN SIXTY YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jebus! He is one pretty man! Looking at him does funny things to certain parts of my body.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:13:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whaaaaaaaat? *angelic face*
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:59:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Danger... shall I sneak you into one of the future editions so that when the ladies swoon, some of it will rub off on you? I'm planning a Sean Connery soon... should be the right age-range, yeah? *don't punch me grin*
----------------------------
HEY!!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:58:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
I WASN'T SWOO-OOO-OO-NING!
I WAS HELPING COOKIE WITH A QUESTION!
Oh God...what have I done? I'm sorry Danger. I don't mean to be so jealous. It just hurts me to see you talking to, looking at, or even being in the presence of ANYONE aside from myself. You know how that is...right? I mean...that's why I like keeping you chained to my radiator. No one can get at you there...
----------------------
Well if you were only helping with a question then I guess that's different. And as far as no one getting to me while I'm chained to the radiator, tell that to the janitor and the special victims unit..
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
one of my favorite actors. he is up in the ranks with Jack.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:59:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Danger... shall I sneak you into one of the future editions so that when the ladies swoon, some of it will rub off on you? I'm planning a Sean Connery soon... should be the right age-range, yeah? *don't punch me grin*
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I WASN'T SWOO-OOO-OO-NING!
I WAS HELPING COOKIE WITH A QUESTION!
Oh God...what have I done? I'm sorry Danger. I don't mean to be so jealous. It just hurts me to see you talking to, looking at, or even being in the presence of ANYONE aside from myself. You know how that is...right? I mean...that's why I like keeping you chained to my radiator. No one can get at you there...
What?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:54:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:48:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh sure! SURE!
Emo tears are well on their way.
------------------------------
WELL I'M NOT THE ONE SWOONING OVER JOHNNY DEPP AM I!!!! AM I!????
um, sorry for yelling...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:52:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know I just love the Caul pictures thrown in. Adds such a touch! You rock my face off.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
I did it to spare his ego, Lil. No man could look good next to Mr. Depp. I sneak him in to stroke that gargantuan ego of his... he would have thought I was insulting him putting him in this one.
Next week I'll double the Caul.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait just a hot second here people. This isn't a Cooklass post. Where the hell is the obligatory Caul photo? She's farce ladies and germs.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh sure! SURE!
Emo tears are well on their way.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:38:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Danger! I'm so hurt!
---------------
Oh, hi Pants... I was just... just... putting her tits back into whack, honest.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:44:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's what I say, 'Nansie. Was his hair that long in Chocolat? Goddamnit. Now I'm gonna have to rent it this weekend and *gag* watch a girlie movie. Consolation? Johnny Depp, of course.
JASON STATHAM NEXT WEEK, LADIES! You must all watch Snatch, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, and The Transporter as homework.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:43:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:39:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:33:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:38:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I....
<orgasms>
<faints>
-----------------------------
<reaches over to bedside table, lights cigarette, lies back with one hand under head and inhales. Exhales and turns head slightly and smiles at exhausted Peon. Gets up, leaves>
-----------
<gets out from under the bed as Danger_Ranger leaves, makes sure coast is clear...Flicks peons nipple. Runs away>
-------------------------
<cue attn ghey thorpe and williamson gently prying closet door open, checking for fudgepacker, and quickly running over to paw through Peon's copy of Vanity Fair>
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:39:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:33:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:38:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I....
<orgasms>
<faints>
-----------------------------
<reaches over to bedside table, lights cigarette, lies back with one hand under head and inhales. Exhales and turns head slightly and smiles at exhausted Peon. Gets up, leaves>
-----------
<gets out from under the bed as Danger_Ranger leaves, makes sure coast is clear...Flicks peons nipple. Runs away>
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Danger! I'm so hurt!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's no way that picture with the cut on his chest is from Nightmare. His hair's too long.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:38:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I....
<orgasms>
<faints>
-----------------------------
<reaches over to bedside table, lights cigarette, lies back with one hand under head and inhales. Exhales and turns head slightly and smiles at exhausted Peon. Gets up, leaves>
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
really, pants? It was in my Vanity Fair, so I just assumed.
Any clues on the cut-chest-sexy-in-the-water movie still? One guess was Chocolat. I haven't seen that movie, as it's a sappy chick flick and I don't generally go in for those.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.depp.ca/gallery/movies/fromhell.html
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The picture of him in the tub is from the Jack the Ripper movie. From Hell I think it was called. I do believe he was on Absynth (sp?).
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, Hillboy.... I know it's not. I'm trying to explain this to the men I work with. Johnny Depp goes through phases with his hair... he was still in his 21 Jumpstreet phase during Nightmare on Elm Street. That is absolutely from his Don Juan DeMarco phase of hair, which spanned about 5 years.
'Nansie, the bathtub picture is from a Vanity Fair photoshoot. I collect those magazines. I have Brad Pitt, Becks, Colin Farrell, Jude Law, Ewan McGregor, and Johnny so far. I intend to cut them all out one day and make a massive mural of nothing but Vanity Fair photoshoots. Leiberman SO knows how to take pictures of hot boys.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm probably wrong.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:19:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for the sketch; amazing. Hand is a little stumpy though, but way better than I could ever do.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The picture with him in the tub is from "The Ninth Gate," I think.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:17:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Believe it or not, I'm actually cooler than Johnny Depp.
You may want to consider that, Uber ladies, when laying around in your panties looking for some way to kill some time.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd be the man-filling for a Johnny D sandwich.
Johnny Depp to one side of me, Johnny Damon to the other.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:59:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
im gay for johnny
Submitted by HillBoyJr (user info) at 2005-11-10 14:51:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he's cool
and cookie, that slashed one isn't from Nightmare on Elm Street, but i would like to know what it's from.
didn't a house boat or something explode in Chocolate? maybe that?
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:38:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I....
<orgasms>
<faints>
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will post a bathtub picture of every single guy on my list if I can find them. If you don't want me taking the pics, then stop having champagne bubblebath time!
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:06:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yet another picture of me in the tub.
You are starting to creep me out.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:03:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He is pretty but he looks attn ghey menz in a couple of those pictures.
not that there's anything wrong with that
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, and a bit more for the file name
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what...you drew the pic? you deserve a little extra for that.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:53:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Also... could someone please tell me what movie the still of him in the water with the cut on his chest is from? The office has a pool of 25 bucks on whether or not it's Nightmare on Elm Street. I say no, but nobody ever listens to me because I have a bajiner.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:52:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
He looks like that heroin addict who posed for Greg Kinnear's painting, then let his friend rob and beat the shit out of him.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:46:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I spent like three hours doing the shading on the upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
Kidding. He has midget hands because I absolutely SUCK at drawing hands. And feet.
Submitted by Saffron (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Stinky Old Hobo Never Looked So Lickable"
I now know what it feels like to have hot tea shoot through your nose. And now I'm off to enjoy the experience of wiping it off the desk.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your sketch is amazing.
Other than that, I don't think any comment is necessary.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the sketch of Jack Sparrow. Did you actually draw that? I don't expect people to be that good.
Submitted by GoodGirl (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i LOVE johnny! he is so f*cking sexy. He has eyes that can level any girl.
I'm feel naughty after looking at those pictures!
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:33:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hot hot hot. And I love your sketch. Kudos for good artwork.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MMMMMMmmmmmmmmm.......Thank You.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:26:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're thinking of Edward Penishands, Cappy... that's a totally different creature.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:07:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Give in, X. I even give content! These aren't shit posts, they're EDUCATIONAL!! You know you wanna +2 me.
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I can't do that for you cookie, cause I am a man of principles, however I will let all you girlies drool at will
Drool away ladies
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:24:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wonder if he ever leaves the Edward Scissorhands gloves on during sex?
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:24:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hush, Wildcat. You love my man-posts just as much as Caul does. These are the most +2's I've ever gotten from him. I treasure them all like precious gemstones.
Don't make me have to hide your birthday picture camwhores in the next one.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
EXACTLY Berty. Physically, he's both what I like and what I hate... lean muscle, long fingers, brown eyes, strong arms, that sort of thing... but I HATE facial hair and long, shaggy, unkempt haven't-washed-it-in-a-month hair. I also like much more masculine, batterd faces. But there is something so universally appealing about this man's face... he's like a chameleon. He's beautiful and distasteful all at once, and I think that juxtaposition is what makes him so well-loved. I read in Vanity Fair a few months ago that he is slated as the most-photographed (non-paparazzi) in the world currently.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Calain, he doesn't have to rape. He just gives girls the googly eyes and then initiates a small pheromone release and all of sudden he's got an entire ward at a retirement home trying to gumjob him.
Cookie, I hate you and you're man-posts. Wait, hahaha I hate your manpost. My manpost is bigger thatn yours. hahahah. I crack myself up.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if he ever raped
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:16:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The thing that is most impressive about Depp, physically speaking, is the incredible maleability of his image. Just look at that montage, many of those pictures could be a different person. It's incredible. The man's a screen legend for that alone.
It's also that quality which means everyone, all women and most men, find him so stunningly attractive.
Makes you think.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:14:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Johnny Depp knows this dude's dad from 21 Jump Street: http://www.ubersite.com/m/78695
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jared Leto and Josh Duhamel(however you freaking spell it) will be in future installments, but not at my prompting. Those were requested by other girls, and I can't reject them. This is everyone's list! I don't care for either of them meself. I think next week will be Jason Statham. He was supposed to be this week, but pics of him are HARD to find.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I was a raging poof, I'd soo do him. But I'm not, so I'll just enjoy his films for their content. um. yeah.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I think he's a great actor.
And I guess, I'd fuck him.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I disapprove of these posts on moral and artistic grounds.
But oh, lord, he's a beautiful piece of flesh.
He's hottest when he's scruffy and crazy and drunk.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Babe
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:07:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Give in, X. I even give content! These aren't shit posts, they're EDUCATIONAL!! You know you wanna +2 me.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:06:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd do him....
...in the pooper. Hell, I'd even give him a reach around, handsome guy like that.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're wearing me down
Submitted by punkerrjess (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:04:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The fourth installment was no less satisfying than the first three.
CookieLass, I love you. Your pictures make me drool at work.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
teh hotness is right!!!!!!
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:02:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cool, i'm one for one: http://www.ubersite.com/m/78337#1674909
johnny depp is awesome, by the way. i man-love him.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't argue.
-Dave
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I couldn't find a picture of Cap'n Jack that I liked, so I put in a sketch of mine. I hope no one minds.
My favourite quote from my favourite Johnny Depp movie:
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Why if I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called in to solve the mystery.
Editor on Studio Lot: You forgot the octopus.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, no, I'm saving that for my big underwater climax.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-11-10 12:00:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Johnny Depp is gay, not unlike Kevin Bacon.