My Brother, Tyler Durden (SPT-ish?) (574 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.23 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TheSunGod (View user info) at 2005-11-10 13:03:08 EST
There are some men in this world who are harder than anything Life can throw at them. I... am not one of them.
So far in my life, I have managed to avoid every possible fight that has ever come my way. (How can you know anything about yourself if you've never been in a fight before?) But if ever I were certain that a scuffle was coming my way and it would be more than one-on-one, my brother would be the first and only person I would need to call.
At about 5'10" and 165 pounds or so, my brother is a badass.
I don't care if your brother is a 300-pound Marine who can chew nails and spit out bullets, and carries an M16 in his rectum "just in case".
My brother is tougher than your brother.
When we were younger and got into agressive inline skating (or "X-treme" skating, I guess they now call it), I would always think of new tricks I'd like to try, and then make him go first. Yeah, buddy. You pull that 360 grab-and-twist over that 6-set of concrete stairs. I'll just watch, and then when I finally get the balls to try it, I'll be sure and clear away the gravel that made you eat dirt. Good job, though. Skate it off.
And when we fought, he always won. I would hit him out of frustration or anger- I wanted him to know how crappy he was making me feel. He'd hit me out of sheer refusal to lose the fight.
I'd swing first and land a little sissy hit, then he'd do it back. We'd go back and forth until I crossed the line and really hurt him, and then it was over for me. The berserker came out of this kid who is three years younger, and he tore me a new asshole every time.
Once, he got a 6-inch spike of wood stuck through the pad of his foot. Instead of going to a doctor or yanking the thing out, he simply razored through his foot until the stick could slide out easily. He's a monster.
And the funny thing is, I always got the feeling that he looked up to me. I'm the oldest, and I did well in school, and I didn't get in trouble with my folks quite as often as he did. We're both good-looking guys, but I never got acne and he did, so I think he mistakenly thought that I was the better-looking brother. I would have done anything to have as many girls chasing me as he did. He's an intelligent guy, but the test scores say that I'm smarter.
But whatever reason he could find to look up to me, he's got me beat.
He's got it. Whatever "it" is, the thing that makes a man a man, or the drive that will make you never give in even if you never succeed, he's got it.
He's hard, and unflinching, and will take as many beatings as he gives out- metaphorically or otherwise.
I heard about a fight at a Halloween party he went to the other night. Apparently some 'roid head took pictures of his girlfriend while she was changing costumes, and he went over to talk to the guy. Talking turned to shoving and swinging, and then the steroid freak's small-dicked gymbunny goon squad joined in. The biggest one picked Rich up by the throat and held him against the wall, telling him to chill out or he'd be hamburger in about two minutes. Or something equally as intelligent and threatening.
Classic Richard: "Fuck you, bitch. I've been jumped before."
And then he swings and clocks the goon in the face, still hanging there against the wall.
They beat the holy piss out of him, but he won. If you can stand up alone against four juiced muscleheads and still spit in their faces when they're rocking your world, you win.
Rich wins.
Ever since I left home, I've had a nagging fear that one day my parents would tell me that my brother is dead, beaten to death. He wouldn't give up because he knew he was right, and he got hammered until he died. It would be like the brother in "A River Runs Through It"- pummelled to death, but with every bone broken in his hands and forearms because he gave as good as he got on his way out.
And it would be fitting, I think. I would love for us to grow old and sit on our porch and joke about the crazy shit we've done, but if Rich wants a blaze of glory ending, I think that he should get it.
And if that's what he really wants, then by God he'll get it or die trying, and bring a few assholes down with him.
God bless him for it.
User Reviews
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-11-10 21:54:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-11-10 18:24:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
SPT = -2.
But this wasn't really worth a -2, so have a -1 from the bottom of my heart.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The "my brother is tougher then your brother" things wasn't done as well as it could have been, but over all good writing.
Oh, and my brother is a 6'5, 210 lb marine.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-11-10 14:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-11-10 14:15:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good writing.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-11-10 14:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I borrow him?
Submitted by BingBongBing (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:51:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GETTEM' RICH!
Submitted by Dante_Alighieri (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:27:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Tyler Durden +2.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck nevermind, I missed that part. Fuck.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff. You've seen A River Runs Through It right? Kind of similar to this.
Submitted by randomhero83 (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"It would be like the brother in "A River Runs Through It"- pummelled to death"
_____________________________________
HEY, thanks for ruining the ending ASSHOLE!
I was planning on watching that one day...
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 brotherly love.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:07:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
the whole, my brother's tougher than your brother
thing was piss poor man,
other than that,
rockitlikeamasochist.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment