Prostitots-The Good, The Bad, and The "Isn't it past your bedtime?" (1223 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.74 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by banana phone <onewheeledfury.at.yahoo.ca> (View user info) at 2005-11-10 15:17:58 EST
You know what I'm talking about. Those girls that, at first glance, appear to be just petite sluts. But look closely, and you will find they are really 12-year olds dressed like a stripper at a nude beach.
I don't know about you, but this is fucking disturbing. To walk down the street and pass a gang (bang) of 12 to 13-year olds, thongs hiked up past their belly button. Not that I have anything against slutty clothes, but come on! I'm sure your boyfriend will appreciate the change of pace from Pokemons, but for the rest of us, it's disturbing.
So, on a more interesting note, here is a tale of my encounter with a girl of the jailbait variety.
Me and a couple of my buddies swim competitively, and as one swim meet drew to a close, some parents of the younger kids decided a dance would be a smashing great idea. I was all for leaving, but my buddies, Dan and Luke lured me in with the promise of a real party later for the older guys.
So we were sitting off in a corner, watching and cramming down burgers, trying to shut out the shitty music, when Dan gives my arm a nudge.
"Hey man, look over there."
"What?"
"There! See that chick in the middle?"
What next met my eyes was what I now consider to one of the most scarring things I've ever seen. And yes, that includes Uber. It was her. You know who I'm talking about. Short, slim, long blonde hair, nice rack, everything.
I can sort of see why she was short, now that I think about it....
And to top it all off, she was dirty dancing. With a G-string.
Every once in a while she'd glance over at us, and each time she did, Dan would poke me.
"Colin, go up and talk to her."
"Fuck no."
"Do it. Do it now."
"Fine. Dickhead."
It was dark, the lights were seizure-inducing, and she was a ways away. How was poor me supposed to know? I got up, walked over to where she was dancing. She had her back to me, but I could see something was wrong when her friends were all way too young-looking.
Not to mention ugly. One girl had a face like a rainy day-just wouldn't clear up.
So I got over to her, and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, and...
Shit.
Shit.
She was the kind of jailbait pedophiles would do their time with a smile on their faces and no regrets.
"Sorry, I thought you were someone else..."
I mumbled and turned away.
The guys were laughing their asses off, and I was pretty scarred.
Later on in the hallway, after many underage and pedophile jokes, she walked out with a few of her friends. Luke started to giggle, then stopped as she walked by.
I swear, she looked at us, a good 6 or 7 years older than her, tossed her hair and hiked up her g-string. The baby jeebus cried that night.
There was silence for a while, broken only by Luke.
"I'd still do her."
User Reviews
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-07 16:20:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-11 06:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's a good thing, sex I mean, and should be encouraged.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-11-11 05:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto inclusion of body text +2
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-11-11 03:11:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Should I ever deign to spawn a child, I hope to jeebus on high that it's a boy.
Submitted by dangerdude (user info) at 2005-11-11 02:10:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
too bad you cant put up a picture
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-11-10 22:56:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was picking up my son from Taekwondo last night, and down the sidewalk came two little girls, about 11, from the dancing school a couple doors down. They had their little shorts rolled down, past their navels, and were singing: "Boom! I got yo boyfriend- I got yo man" and then one said to the other as they peered into the window of the dojo or whateverthehell it's called: "Daaem. Look at all the hotties in there!" I thought to myself a)They better stay away from my son, and b)Where the hell did they hear that old ass song. As they sauntered away trying to swing the hips they didn't have yet, I noticed the words "cutie" and "princess" across the ass of their shorts.
Prostitots. You have certainly called it right.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-11-10 19:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-10 18:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:56:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
You had me at prostitots
------
I'm so using that word every day now.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2005-11-10 18:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-11-10 18:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'd still do her."
____________________
...in the pooper?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry. The title was the great, and the writing was good, but I'm not really sure the rest of it even qualified as a story. Stories don't have to be life shattering or any kind of melodramatic, but do they have to be significant. "The day I faced off with the asshole coworker" is significant - "the day I almost said something to the asshole coworker after she mouthed off" is not. Same thing here; "the day I told off a child strumpet" would have been a story. "The day I hit on a girl, found out she was jailbait, and then walked away awkwardly" really isn't.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:56:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You had me at prostitots
Submitted by texian136 (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:12:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Thats why I like high school girls. I get older and they stay the same age."
Abercrombie and Fitsch be damned for making 12 yr olds look like 18 yr old sluts.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:11:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Should have done her in the pooper - Roman Polansky style.
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MMmmmmmm blondie :P
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for the last line
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:40:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Although I agree somewhat with MyTee...
"One girl had a face like a rainy day-just wouldn't clear up."
That was worth a +2, along with the title as well as the last line.
And I can relate, bro. Boy, can I relate.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-11-10 16:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The story could have used more a little more plot (or something, but all in all, not bad.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your email address makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.
You aren't going to hit on me now are you?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"prostitots"...heh.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good 2nd post.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
needs pictures.
and more plot.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:22:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more rape. "Prostitots" gets you an auto +2, though.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did her, twice!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:20:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
-Dave