Pick-up Phrases, Desperate Dating and why my pants are wet... (714 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 0.67 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Crystal <bandphotographer.at.email.com> (View user info) at 2005-11-12 01:22:56 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-11-15 05:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
change for the fairy
...
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-11-12 02:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There are no answers. There is only Zuul.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-11-12 01:55:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy hell. I see my post now at the top. That was weird ass shit... because I posted it about 10 minutes ago and it now finally appears. I hope bart can fix this place up.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-11-12 01:52:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There are no pictures or attachments on any posts.
I even tried to post something here a moment ago with just text.....no attaching anything.....
and, well, nothing happened. What the hell? Bart, did you go pushing random buttons and mess something up?.....or did someone mess stuff up???.....
WE PEOPLE NEED ANSWERS!
Submitted by bandphotographer (user info) at 2005-11-12 01:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn mis-linking... Bart!
Anyways...
Dear Uber,
After some interesting dating situations lately (Gotta love the man who explained he lied about his age because he's looking for someone younger to be his trophy-wife, hit on another girl RIGHT next to us, then tried to drug me with unidentified pills... {true shit}) I have kept my eye open for someone who's more... promising. There have been a plethora of 'pick-up' attempts, and I am compelled to ask: Why aren't there any new, interesting pickup lines?
C'mon people... you're trying to get in my pants! Sex. Like any other sane person, I love sex, but I'm not going to let you buy me a shot because you toss out some silly 'You have beautiful eyes' line. (Although, thank you, yes, my eyes are fabulous.) Furthermore, I will not give you head for asking, 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' (Not as much as your balls are about to hurt, chief.) & Don't even think about going near my pants if you use a, 'I lost my teddy-bear, will you sleep with me?' line (You've lost your common sense too, apparently.)
I challenge men to engage me! Strike a witty conversation point, and then maintain it long enough to at least make me think you're trying. Start off with a fun, humorous line, here are some I've thought up:
· So, my AIDS test just came back negative, want to go home with me?
· Say, sugar, what's your anal capacity? (Dependant upon the answer, follow up with a seemingly impressed, 'Really?')
· My back hurts, want to help me give it a good reason to be sore?
· Unlike other men, I promise to never hit you baby, I might smack you on the face with my penis ever so often...
·
THESE ARE ENGAGING!!! This is how you get a gals attention! Shit, most of us broads can't separate the concepts of love and lust, slap us with a lust-filled statement and we're 'in love' (putting out).
My challenge to the witty, sexy, men and women of uber: Share with me your pick up lines, and restore my faith in originality amid 'the hunt'.
Just for fun, here's a pic of why my pants are wet... Can I get one of these for Christmas?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-11-12 01:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the hell is every post blank?