2nd try... Pick up lines.... (read the 1st review for text, uber is broken) (604 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.33 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Crystal <bandphotographer.at.email.com> (View user info) at 2005-11-12 02:16:05 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-11-17 10:31:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Had to take a moment to say....
AAAAAAAAAHAHAHahahahahahaha!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57971#1694935
That one cracked me up.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-11-12 11:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Were your parents angels? Because I wanna stick my dick between your tits.
Submitted by bandphotographer (user info) at 2005-11-12 11:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Definately send a file my way when you get the chance! bandphotographer.at.email.com (It's always great to check out new music.) PDX is Portland, Oregon. We're kind of like Seattle; only less dirty, nicer people and fewer .com companies. -Plus, it's GREEN 'n' purdy here...
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-12 09:53:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We play teh rock music. More specifically, it's hybrid folk/pop style (I'm thinking Johnny Cash and Counting Crows) driven by a classic punk rock beat (Ramones, Clash, Bad Religion).
It's really fun to listen to and even though we hate to hear it from people, it can sound a little like pop sometimes. Oh, well...
I can send you a song or two via e-mail or AIM some time, if ye'd like. What's PDX, exactly?
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-11-12 03:54:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Sunny side up or fertilized?
Submitted by bandphotographer (user info) at 2005-11-12 02:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PORN RULES ?? Sounds like something high schoolers yell out the window while they drive past softball practice.
Nice shoes want to fuck, I personally, like. Does that make me cheap, or do I just own really nice shoes? hummm...
RyuFu, I mapquested it... You're in NYC, I'm in PDX. Total Est. Time: 43 hours, 14 minutes Total Est. Distance: 2906.60 miles But that's beside the point, what kind of music do you guys play?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-11-12 02:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PORNRULES
Is that the cheat code? Is it? Is it?
I forgot what this post was while typing... so +2.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-12 02:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"-I AM a band photographer, what area of the world are you in, I'd love to get a few more bands under my belt, portfolio-wise, as for MY belt specifically...
None the less, once my website is updated, I'll toss you a link. Yay networking! :) "
Oh yeah, it just occurred to me that the whole Uber world is not necessarily within 5 miles of me. My band is in NYC, Manhattan to be precise.
Oh, and my AIDS test came back negative, my back hurts, and I hear your anal readings are off the charts! Awesome!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-11-12 02:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice shoes. Let's fuck.
Submitted by bandphotographer (user info) at 2005-11-12 02:16:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn mis-linking... Bart!
Anyways...
Dear Uber,
After some interesting dating situations lately (Gotta love the man who explained he lied about his age because he's looking for someone younger to be his trophy-wife, hit on another girl RIGHT next to us, then tried to drug me with unidentified pills... {true shit}) I have kept my eye open for someone who's more... promising. There have been a plethora of 'pick-up' attempts, and I am compelled to ask: Why aren't there any new, interesting pickup lines?
C'mon people... you're trying to get in my pants! Sex. Like any other sane person, I love sex, but I'm not going to let you buy me a shot because you toss out some silly 'You have beautiful eyes' line. (Although, thank you, yes, my eyes are fabulous.) Furthermore, I will not give you head for asking, 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' (Not as much as your balls are about to hurt, chief.) & Don't even think about going near my pants if you use a, 'I lost my teddy-bear, will you sleep with me?' line (You've lost your common sense too, apparently.)
I challenge men to engage me! Strike a witty conversation point, and then maintain it long enough to at least make me think you're trying. Start off with a fun, humorous line, here are some I've thought up:
· So, my AIDS test just came back negative, want to go home with me?
· Say, sugar, what's your anal capacity? (Dependant upon the answer, follow up with a seemingly impressed, 'Really?')
· My back hurts, want to help me give it a good reason to be sore?
· Unlike other men, I promise to never hit you baby, I might smack you on the face with my penis ever so often...
·
THESE ARE ENGAGING!!! This is how you get a gals attention! Shit, most of us broads can't separate the concepts of love and lust, slap us with a lust-filled statement and we're 'in love' (putting out).
My challenge to the witty, sexy, men and women of uber: Share with me your pick up lines, and restore my faith in originality amid 'the hunt'.