The Official Ubertattoo Thread (984 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.28 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cuckoo4caca (View user info) at 2005-11-14 17:39:34 EST
Nice tat man! You must be a real rebel, or just another conformist moron. What the fuck is so rebellious and cool about tattoos anyway? According to the Lycos 50 (a list of the most commonly used search terms) 'Tattoos' was the 7th most sought out subject in 2004 right up there with Janet Jackson, Paris Hilton, Clay Aiken, Britney Spears and Pamela Anderson. Well it looks like tattoos are keeping company with a bunch of fake-ass, no talent attention whores. How not ironic.
Have you ever wondered why the mass media is constantly throwing tattoos in your face? I have a theory on that. You see, during my college years I worked on the night shift as a correctional officer and often I was privy to the convicts' travel cards. A travel card consists of a condensed description and background of each inmate. Guess what's considered to be one of the most accurate determinants of identity. That's right, it's that permanent mark of rebellion, the tattoo. Criminals are notoriously stupid. They are also notoriously tattooed. Tattoos and stupidity go hand in hand.
Now if the powers that be can convince every potential self-styled rebel to brand themselves with these unique symbols of identification, well then we have a bunch of morons who have stripped themselves of the virtue of anonymity. It's an effective way to disarm a possible insurgent of one of his most valued weapons. Cops appreciate you voluntarily accepting the same marks of identification that ranchers apply to their livestock. Yeah buddy congratulations, you're as rebellious as a sheep. Born to be wild? More like born to be domesticated. Hell, at least the sheep struggles to avoid getting a tattoo. You might as well go to the front of the line to get your microchip implant.
Even Tony Danza advises against getting tattoos. Tony learned the hard way. His dumbass got a tattoo of R. Crumb's famous "Keep on Truckin'" image on his forearm. Who's the boss? Obviously not you, ya fucking tattooed moron. Way to brand yourself with a 70's icon Tony. We all appreciate the opportunity to point and laugh at you. Forever. You people with tattoos of barbed wire and chinese words have no room to laugh at Tony here. Ching chang, you're not chinese bitch!
People, I'm begging you, don't lump yourselves in with the fake-ass, no talent attention whores, the stupid criminals, the mindless cattle and the Tony Danzas of the world. Don't get a tattoo.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-24 10:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DOOD I REMEMBER YOO.
SUP?
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-11-15 10:09:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:01:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Trying to recapture some of your earlier "success" I see.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57731
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58126
-----------------------------------------
Otherwise +2 for Tony Danza, Gay Mermen, and the "sea penis"
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-15 08:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-11-15 06:04:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
What about those of use who have used tattoos as body art and who don't follow a life of crime?
Are we allowed them sir? I guess i best call you sir as you are obviously so wise you feel the need to direct my life.
Don't forget the Breathing post, or the Eating post. I might die if you don't direct me.
Shut the fuck up you brainless worthless piece of shit.
I fucking hate people who think they are holier than thou. I bet you're fucking 15.
15 year olds are the worst.
Unless your Berty whereas they're probably the best.
bah
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I was gonna say. I'm compassionate and full of doubt though, thats why I'm so kickass.
Anyway, what Fabit said but with less vitriol.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-15 08:14:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:03:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:51:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:42:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN GHEY AQUATIC LIFE
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 07:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just had to come back here because I was wondering what the tattoo artist's reaction was when he saw the design for that tat.
"You want me to ink WHAT into you? Gay unshaven mer-men reacharound, eh? With two throbbing, goo-spewing, veiny penis-fountains in the background you say??"
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-15 06:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm thinking of having a tattoo of michael jackson's face, on my face. Do you think that would be too much?
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-11-15 06:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What about those of use who have used tattoos as body art and who don't follow a life of crime?
Are we allowed them sir? I guess i best call you sir as you are obviously so wise you feel the need to direct my life.
Don't forget the Breathing post, or the Eating post. I might die if you don't direct me.
Shut the fuck up you brainless worthless piece of shit.
I fucking hate people who think they are holier than thou. I bet you're fucking 15.
15 year olds are the worst.
Unless your Berty whereas they're probably the best.
bah
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-11-15 05:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
As a tattooed bloke I feel it is my duty to -2 your ignorance. It's a bit rebellious, this -2ing game isn't it?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-15 05:23:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Wow. Your argument makes about as much sense as an Irishman on St Paddy's day.
Tattoos (rightly or wrongly) are part now of modern culture. While you have no intention of getting any tatts yourself, that doesn't make others who do "criminals" or "sheep".
You have no idea of people's motives for getting them. Not everyone gets them to be "cool".
Submitted by erinly (user info) at 2005-11-15 00:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2005-11-14 21:42:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
"I never knew being identifiable was such a sin. WHo are you, Bin laden or something?"
I can hear it now: "You don't want an RFID microchip implant? Who are you Bin Laden or something?"
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-14 21:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best tattoo evar! Y HALO THAR FISH SECKS!
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2005-11-14 21:42:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I never knew being identifiable was such a sin. WHo are you, Bin laden or something?"
I can hear it now: "You don't want an RFID microchip implant? Who are you Bin Laden or something?"
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-11-14 21:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I never knew being identifiable was such a sin. WHo are you, Bin laden or something?
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-11-14 21:19:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Holy shit, that tattoo is gay. Everyone knows a trident is a phallic symbol.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-14 21:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pretty much agree.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-14 20:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just think of it this way...they aren't fucking up your flesh.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-11-14 20:18:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for persistence..... I've never seen anybody repost the same shitty post in an attempt to gain undue attention as much as you have. Congrats.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-11-14 19:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm certain someone has done this exact post before.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2005-11-14 19:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:03:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:51:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:42:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN GHEY AQUATIC LIFE
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:32:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
different strokes for different folks.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
not only is this tattoo offensive, but it is inaccurate.
merpersons do not have genitalia.
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Why would you repost your first ever post?"
Just to give a few people a couple of chuckles and I'm uncreative. Also, I like to see people get defensive and take sarcastic posts seriously. That's funny to me.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear god. That's the most horrible tattoo ever.
I agree that most people that get tattoos do so for stupid reasons...but not everyone.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you're that worried about being identified by the authorities, I'd be more than happy to knock your teeth out.
Those dental records are tough to avoid, ya know.
No -2 though, just to show that I, as a tattooed person, am not going to take offense.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That tattoo sucks.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why would you repost your first ever post?
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:03:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad this worked on the 3rd time. You bring up a great point.
As a bad-ass my self I have no tats. That's been good for me.
Oh - and another +2 for your sarcastic overtones and style.
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:51:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:42:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN GHEY AQUATIC LIFE
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Born to be wild? More like born to be domesticated"
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-11-14 18:01:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Trying to recapture some of your earlier "success" I see.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57731
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58126
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this tattoo is a crime against humanity...good god
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know they're passe now but I still want to get one.
Just for the pain, you see.
I'm kinda into that.
Nevermind
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:56:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am getting that tat.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:42:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN GHEY AQUATIC LIFE
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
excuse me....merMEN
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:47:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"...where did you find that picture?"
It's been floating around on a poker forum I frequent. I guess I should have put up the NSFW flag. Sorry about that. And damnit, I also meant to attach the Politics-Iraq icon too.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto -1 hairy back
auto +3 gay mermaids
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I somewhat agree.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Two tattoo highlights:
- I was listening to Elliot in the Morning (local morning radio show in the DC area), and some guy's coming in tomorrow to have "Smell My Face!" and "Elliot in the Morning" tattooed on his back so he can win tickets to a Korn concert. Moron.
- A girl that works at a friend of mine's office wears long sleeves every day to cover up a tattoo that she's embarrassed about. The only thing that's known about it is "it's a penis." I really, really want it to either be a shitty, stick-figure quality drawing of a dong or some incredibly ornate, Greek Orthodox icon of a mandangle.
Oh, and tribal bands blow.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
as i said in the last post, at least the guy is offering a reach around.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:43:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be willing to bet that you have at least 2, one of which is a barbed-wire design around your upper arm.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:42:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN GHEY AQUATIC LIFE
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-11-14 17:41:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
...where did you find that picture?