Tethered (517 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saffron (View user info) at 2005-11-15 18:51:39 EST
I live in The City. Like most urban apartment dwellers I have at times found myself experiencing a great amount of guilt about the quality of my varying pet's lives. I have a large apartment by City standards, 1500 square feet, but I don't have an acceptable outside space for my cats. The apartment is their whole world.
My two current kitties are fine with this arrangement; they see the beaten, bedraggled, exhausted look on my face as I drag myself home each night and have decided that outside must certainly be terrible to put me in such a state. Most days I agree with them and we have conversations about how much working for living blows, my utter jealousy of their lifestyle and their concern for the fact that I spend an inordinate amount of time talking to them and giving them chin skritchies.
I have had one cat that was not as cool with this situation. He was a 25 pound black and white monster. Not fat so much as just plain huge. He had huge paws and was the height of a toddler when he stood on his back legs. Huge, not fat. I don't want anyone turning me into PETA for inducing obesity in an innocent creature.
Autolycus was less than thrilled with apartment life. He longed to be outside. He protested his imprisonment on my couch repeatedly. I had taken him in for testing, had tried every cat litter known to man, had changed box types and locations, increased frequency of scooping, I tried everything. I knew that if he went out for adoption, he would be destroyed. No one wants a pissy cat.
I devised a cunning plan. I would leash train him.
I purchased a small dog harness and a training leash as well as a 35 foot retractable. We spent the first week getting used to the harness. When he stopped trying to remove my fingers and chew the thing off we progressed to the training leash. We started with small walks around the building; getting used to traversing stairs and the like. He hated it. He didn't like being tied to me so I went to the retractable leash which would allow for more slack and give him a sense of freedom while placating my paranoia of his escaping, getting the front security gate open and running into the street to be hit by a train.
Things were getting better. The protesting stopped.
We managed to make it outside the building and into The Great Outdoors. Oh the things to smell, the textures to claw, the lawns to roll in ! Oh Glorious Day !
He was a little jumpy around big noises ( like trains rolling by ) and on more than one occasion climbed me like a redwood. I looked like I had been wrestling with cacti; which is really only explainable if one is out of their gourd on peyote. I decided to head into more quiet areas of the neighborhood. After getting past Autolycus' penchant for crawling under gates and attempting to find a way into trash cans we settled into a rhythm.
As a side note, cats don't really do the traditional canine "go for a walk" thing. It's more about finding a good place to smell, roll, stretch or perch and just hanging there until one of us was ready to head back. Imagine if you will you are at home, puttering about the homestead and you notice a woman holding a leash standing in front of your home for an extended period of time. The natural assumption is that she is allowing her dog to crap in your yard and I had more than one person come tearing out of their home to scream at me, only to melt at the site of a gigantic, black and white, stuffed animal of a cat rolling about on their lawn. It's an interesting way to meet the neighbors.
By Summer I had decided was a bit tired of standing in one spot and started taking Autolycus to the park. 35 feet of slack in an open area gave him plenty of room to explore, chase birds and flirt with children while I read a book. It was fantastic. I had a happy kitty and was catching up on my reading.
Then it happened.....winter.
We were confined to the building during the wet months. Outside was an amazing thing until one had to deal with the indignity of wet paws or some crazy lady trying to put booties and a hooded slicker on you. The Big Fluffy was not having any of this dress up crap and my arms were starting to look like a series on the world's worst suicide attempts.
We explored every corner of the building, but Autolycus' favorite spots were on the covered roof decks where he could patrol the perimeter. Weak winter sun and fragrant air seemed to placate his wanderlust and he seemed happy. Until he decided to see if the next building over was more interesting.
I live in a 3 story building.
I'll give the guy credit, the leap was monumental and he may have stuck the landing if it weren't for the pesky leash. He hit the end of the slack and gravity took over. He was in a free fall. He hit the side of the building with a sickening thud and I screamed in terror for the first time in ages.
25 pounds of cat in a harness hanging over the edge of a building with a hysterical woman scrambling to pull him up must have been an awesome sight.
The incident made the leash routine very unattractive for poor kitty; he refused to be put in the harness ever again. He began his protesting anew. Autolycus moved in with my parents where he could run about in the relative safety in the suburbs.
I bought a new couch and found a less temperamental cat.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:13:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
um, apologies all round.
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's alright mate.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
um, apologies all round.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-17 23:37:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
in fact i am still pissed off with that berty, i thought you were better than that.
oh well, your just another cumrag in the sewage pipe of uber i guess.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-17 23:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by brohman20012000 (user info) at 2005-11-16 12:25:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
Great story, well written, Apollo eat a dick.
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Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-16 02:55:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:18:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish it had dragged you over with it you dumb cunt.
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Mate, steady on.
I liked this. ""
i don't give a fuck what you cunts liked i like what i like. okay? you fucking pieces of shit.
how dare you chastise me for rating how i feel fit.
this isn't a vendetta, i have given this persons other posts +2.
fucking wankers.
berty, you are getting sucked into phase 3 of uber.
got a little fame have we?
Submitted by brohman20012000 (user info) at 2005-11-16 12:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Great story, well written, Apollo eat a dick.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-16 02:55:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:18:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish it had dragged you over with it you dumb cunt.
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Mate, steady on.
I liked this.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-11-15 22:35:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:38:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
because i too have walked a cat.
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of my old cat, she was the fattest, meanest and most evil little bitch you would ever meet, she was an inside cat with her front paws declawed so she wouldn't destroy all the furniture and make it look like Bucky Katt decided to visit. Whenever you came into my house it smelled like cat piss, everywhere, she was raised an inside cat and had always been one until she decided to run outside one too many times so she stayed out. We have about six more cats outside and I feed them every morning so I figured that she would be fine as long as she could get over her little kitty fears, she was as thin as Lindsey Lohan within a week than she died a week after that, it was messed up, she was acting like the Excorcist for some reason, I'll never know why.
It's a sad time here without Lucy... Except for my brothers and my parents, they love it, damn them.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
because i too have walked a cat.
Submitted by Bornloser (user info) at 2005-11-15 20:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5 rounded is a 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:50:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy hell.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
A fun read that was written well but i prefer cat stories where neices and nephews are found playing in kitty litter with little lumps of cat shit stuck to their bodies, meh thats just me.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:18:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish it had dragged you over with it you dumb cunt.