After the Pandemic: The Enemy of My Enemy (part 28): Reclamation (1356 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.93 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Caes (View user info) at 2005-11-15 21:34:11 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61238 -- Introduction -- Jack McCallum
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61350 -- Variant C -- Jack McCallum
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61505 -- Part 1: Brianna
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61614 -- Part 2: Khalid
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63145 -- Part 3: The Meeting
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63504 -- Part 4: The Conversation
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63663 -- Part 5: The Story of Manhattan
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64024 -- Part 6: On the Streets of Jersey
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64325 -- Part 7: Tome
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64611 -- Part 8: Faing
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65301 -- Part 9: The Gathering
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65871 -- Part 10: Men Amongst Giants
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66684 -- Part 11: The Temptress and The Aristocrat
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66752 -- Part 12: Trial by Blood
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67296 -- Part 13: Words and Swords
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67769 -- Part 14: Details and Divinity
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68760 -- Part 15: Into the Breach
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69588 -- Part 16: The Ambassador of New York
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69741 -- Part 17: The Devil in the Details
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70550 -- Part 18: The Joker's Wild
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71764 -- Part 19: The Remnants
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72757 -- Part 20: From Below
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73718 -- Part 21: Rise and Shine
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74077 -- Part 22: Hush Little Baby
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74577 -- Part 23: The Prince and the Aristocrat
http://www.ubersite.com/m/75490 -- Part 24: The Empty State Building
http://www.ubersite.com/m/76214 -- Part 25: Come Out and Play
http://www.ubersite.com/m/76956 -- Part 26: Staring Down the Monster
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77906 -- part 27: Kings and Bullies
Faing and the Butcher crashed through one of the few standing walls in their battleground. They bellowed and roared and struck each other with wrecking ball force. Four of the Scot's ribs were broken, and three fingers. The Butcher had chomped a sizable chunk of meat out of his shoulder. His face was bruised and torn and covered in blood. And as Faing took a thunderous shot to his jaw and returned one in kind, he was laughing.
He hadn't had this much fun in over half a century.
***************
Tyler waited for Sykes' call to be answered. Two dozen Lukers arrived within a matter of minutes. One of them was Nate, the man that helped Tyler carry Tony's body down 86 floors the last time they were here. His arm rested in a makeshift sling and splint. He reported that there were only a few pockets of variant resistance left in the building; Domokos and the rest of the humans were finishing them off. The Ambassador of New York was almost theirs.
"It won't last," Tyler said, lighting a smoke to calm his nerves. "Soon, all the veecees that are out there looking for us will come back here - if they're not on their way already."
"We can get a strategic position, boss." Nate said. "Take them by surprise, thin them out. We can still do this."
Tyler nodded, and considered the numbers. There couldn't be more than two hundred of them left, two-fifty tops. If they could get prepared, they could take half of them out before they even knew what hit them.
"Yeah." He decided. "Yeah, we can. But I'd rather do that with the Butcher's fucking head on a stick instead of on his shoulders. Nate, take a team and start putting shit together. I want the elevators wired and the entrance primed to blow. C-4, plastique, whatever we got. Everyone else, with me."
Nate saluted and set out with his squad. Tyler's contingent began checking the bodies of their fallen, both for supplies and for Pandemic infection. Two or three shots were fired into each body to make sure that their dead comrades didn't get up again. There were no tears or arguments, because that's just the way things were.
Tyler found a few extra clips for his pistol on a younger guy's body - Andrew was his name, he thought. He wasn't sure. It looked like he died clean, at least. Turning the body over, he found something interesting. Three MK3A2 concussion grenades. Tyler pocketed the grenades, and closed the soldier's eyes.
"Sorry kid." Tyler knew he had nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't his fault this happened, not any of it. But it still pulled at you, seeing all this death. Especially the younger ones. He snuffed his cigarette out on the floor.
Tyler and most of what was left of their invasion force climbed the stairs towards the sounds of two monsters clashing. It sounded like a scheduled demolition, but with more swearing. As Tyler and Brianna reached the access point to the floor, the stairwell shook from the force of their attacks. Dust drifted down from the ceiling.
"Jesus." Tyler muttered. He took a breath to steady himself. Brianna squeezed his hand. They went through the door.
The scene was set much like they left it, but with less airborne dust and more rubble. Two large shapes tumbled around in the hazy distance.
"Move out!" Tyler barked.
***************
In the center of the room, the rubble stirred. It started with just a pebble. It jumped out of its place and hopped off the backs of its bigger brothers, bouncing down the pile. A little rock took notice, and skipped after the pebble. Then a larger stone. Then a boulder. Until there was a modest hole in the stack of rubble. But then the pile became still as a cairn once again.
Nothing stirred.
An arm shot suddenly out of the small aperture, gripping the edge. It was dark and bloodied and covered in dirt. It pulled an elbow up, and then a shoulder, a head, and finally, a body. The body rolled down the pile like the rocks before it, and cursed fiercely in Arabic as it landed just as gracefully.
Khalid Ibn as-Saffah sat against his throne of broken stones.
At the last second, he had managed to deflect the brunt of the impact. It had been closer than he imagined possible. The remainder of the force had stunned him, and it took him several minutes to summon the wherewithal to dig himself free.
His eyes burned with purpose. His guts were calm as mountains. His spine was made of iron. This would be the end.
***************
Tyler's men fanned out, taking up firing positions. The two juggernauts were rolling and bouncing across the landscape, making it difficult to get a clear shot. Tyler didn't want to hit Faing, but the Butcher had to be stopped at any cost; and preferably before he noticed them.
Before long, the Lukers had their chance. Faing was rocked by a solid kick to the chin, and staggered back. Before the Butcher could pursue, Tyler gave the order.
"Fire!"
His men obliged. A swarm of bullets punched into the Butcher's left side, up his arm, shoulder, and neck. The flesh on the side of his head tore off in reams as metal ricocheted off his thick skull. He let out a garbled cry and pressed flat to the ground to protect himself, covering his heart with a thickly muscled arm.
With his free hand, he scooped up debris and hurled it in the direction of the attack. Broken masonry the size of men tumbled through the air, and the Lukers were forced to cease fire and scatter. Brianna ducked as a sizable rock brushed over her head.
"Annoying little shits!!" He growled. "I'll - "
The Butcher didn't have time to finish. Faing plowed into his midsection, taking him to the ground.
"Come oan, cuntwipe! Me ma 'its 'arder than yoo!" The Scot hit him with three punches that would have pulverized a normal man. The Butcher took it with a grunt and kicked him off. Faing charged right back, swinging wild.
"The only parsin what sucks dick better than yer ma is yer sister - ooof!!" The Butcher buried his knee deep into Faing's belly, lifting his feet off the ground. With the hand that still had most of its fingers, he grabbed the Scot by the collar and whipped him away. Faing tumbled through the air, but managed to catch a glimpse of the wall he was heading towards. It was one of the only walls not yet demolished.
The exterior wall.
"Ah, shite."
The Scot hit the wall at highway speeds, and it crumbled easily under his mass and momentum. Just like that, he was gone.
The Butcher snapped his head around towards the human soldiers.
Fuck. Tyler thought. This is it.
Before he could give the order to fire, a brown and black shape shot across his line of sight, carrying an arc of silver. It dashed past the Butcher, and the gleaming curve slashed out. With a holler that was equal parts pain and surprise, the monster dropped to one knee, the muscles in his quadriceps severed.
Khalid circled off to the side, twirling his scimitar in anticipation. He held the sword in his unbroken hand.
"Hold fire," Tyler said to his men.
"PRINCE." The Butcher spat. "Invader. TERRORIST!!" He stood up to his full, towering height. "You've ruined everything! I'm going to decorate my lobby with your entrails!!"
"Not on your best day, creature." Khalid started down the tip of his sword at his opponent. "You should have accepted my challenge when we first arrived. I might have shown mercy."
Khalid stepped forward and jabbed at the Butcher's eyes. He twitched to the side, saving his sight, but the blade sliced along his cheek and took off part of his ear. The Overlord of New York struck out in retaliation, but Khalid was already gone. The Butcher realized how slow he was moving. That furry little haggis-eater had hit him like tanks. He could feel things moving around within him, jabbing at his insides. It didn't particularly hurt, but his speed was suffering. The Butcher realized he had to control his temper. Fight smarter.
Khalid was far from peak condition himself. Every time he swung his weapon, he feared he might drop it. Every time he took a step, he thought he might stumble. The two circled each other cautiously.
The Arab struck repeatedly, scoring only minor nicks and gashes. Each time, he barely avoided a crushing counterattack.
"Hm-hm-hm," the Butcher chuckled in his rocksliding voice. "I can take it. I can take what you've got. Can you say the same?" He lunged, aiming high.
Khalid bent low and spun away from the attack, his blade trailing him through the air. It passed through the Butcher's abdomen with a surgical whisper, cutting deep. The monster dropped to his knees with a sloppy moan. He pressed a hand to his belly to keep his guts inside him.
Khalid's blade zipped towards the back of the Butcher's neck for the killing blow. It was barely inches away when the Arab's boots were knocked out from beneath him. His deadly strike fizzled to nothing as he landed painfully on his wounded side. The Butcher had taken Khalid's feet out from him by sweeping out with a mangled hand, but his intestines spilled on the floor at his knees as a result.
It didn't matter. He hadn't used those things in years.
Khalid barely got out of the way as the Butcher's bloody fist crashed into the floor. He scrambled to his feet, holding his sword protectively in front of him, for all the good it would do. The Butcher stepped after him, stringy, shriveled intestines trailing from his stomach and tangling around his ankles.
"Taawadh!" Khalid hissed. "Will you not just die??"
Khalid was having more success with his sword than Faing had with his fists, or that the humans had with bullets, but Tyler could see that it wasn't enough. Nothing short of colossal trauma would be able to put the monster down. Maybe Khalid would be able to cut his head off...or maybe the Butcher would get his hands on the vampyre and tear him apart. Khalid's strikes usually moved with the fluidity of a dancer, but now his sword was stumbling like a drunk; his attacks heavy and clumsy.
Tyler had an idea.
"If Khalid falls, make sure you keep him distracted," he said to Brianna.
"What? What are you - mmmph!" Tyler smothered Brianna's words as he kissed her roughly.
"Do what I said," he said firmly. He turned away from her without looking at her warm brown eyes. Tyler was very careful not to look into her eyes. He set out towards the Butcher, staying out of his line of sight.
Khalid ducked under a crushing swipe and spun his scimitar in a figure-8 pattern, opening three deep cuts in the arm the Butcher had hoped to strike him with. He had hoped to sever key muscle groups and deaden the arm, but had no success. The Butcher reversed the direction of his attack and caught Khalid with a backfist with the same appendage the Arab had hoped to incapacitate. Khalid stumbled. The heel of his boot caught on something, and he fell to his back.
Above him the Butcher of York loomed, holding a slab of masonry high in his good hand. He drove it down at Khalid's head. The Prince rolled deftly to the side, but the Butcher had him scouted. His blow was a feint. He followed the movement of the Arab's body with his eyes and adjusted his aim. When Khalid completed his roll, a fifty-pound chunk of rock kissed him 'hello.'
Before he could recover, a bomb dropped on Khalid's chest. His ribs groaned and then cracked under the pressure. The Butcher had pinned him to the floor with a massive bare foot.
"HAAAA!!" The hybrid bellowed triumphantly. He grinned at his prey through crocodile teeth and golden eyes that danced in their sockets. Entrails lolled out of the gash in his belly like the tongues of lazy dogs. "Now, NOW we see who is the king, and who is the pretender! Ha ha!" He leaned a little closer. "You and your friends thought you would break me, but I beat you all!! I broke them with my hands and my teeth, and that's exactly how I'll break you." The King-Priest of the New World reached for Khalid's head. But in his excitement, he forgot that though the Prince of Baghdad squirmed under his heel, he had teeth of his own.
A flash of steel, and the Butcher's hand dropped off his outstretched arm.
"What?" It took a moment to sink in. He looked at the odd shortness of his arm, and then to the shovel-sized hand that twitched impotently on the floor. He looked down at the Arab he was standing on and made a noise like angry gravel.
"Try the other one." Khalid suggested. His voice was thin and strained, but his sword arm was ready.
The Butcher's nostrils flared, and jaws that could grind bones clenched furiously. He raised his remaining hand up for a crushing blow, but held it.
And held it.
The air between their eyes crackled; the space between them hummed. The silence only lasted seconds, but it seemed like hours.
"Well then." Khalid said, moving only his lips. "Now what?"
"Now this," Tyler said.
The Butcher was so focused on his enemy that he didn't see Tyler until he was practically standing in front of him. The human punched him - actually punched him - in the stomach, with all his puny might. His arm went into the sloppy gash of his belly and disappeared up to the elbow.
Startled, the Butcher shoved Tyler aside, the way a man would push aside an attacking puppy. Despite the absent-mindedness of the reaction, Tyler tumbled across the floor like a car had just hit him. His broken rib stabbed him painfully.
"You stupid little shit, what do you think you're - " The Butcher stopped. Something wasn't right. There was something cold in his belly.
There was a loud BANG, and with the abruptness of a popping balloon, the Butcher's insides were liquefied. A noise tore through the air, a jagged, rocky howl that raged for several seconds before dying, tapering into grunts and moans.
Tyler struggled to his feet. Stepping gingerly, he returned to the space the Butcher once occupied, as if a loud footstep would reverse what he had done. One of his legs was missing. The remaining one lay off to the side, along with most of his pubis. The flesh had been blasted off his hip, exposing yellowed bone.
What was left of the Butcher of York laid in a pool of blood and gristle. He was missing everything below his chest. Shattered ribs stabbed out of his skin at sharp angles. His stomach had been turned into something the consistency of pudding, and his arms flopped and splashed about in his own pond of offal. His mouth opened and closed, but there were no words, only hateful growls.
"Fuck me. I need a goddamn smoke." Tyler mumbled to himself.
Khalid had been painted red. He got to his feet slowly, wiping blood from his face. "Well done, Commander," he said, surveying the damage. "You struck the killing blow."
Tyler stared breathlessly at the mess before him. Brianna wrapped her hands around him, kissing his cheek excitedly, but he barely noticed. Tyler killed the Butcher. He killed the monster, the big bad wolf.
"I did it." He said quietly. He looked at Brianna with slow eyes. "I killed him."
"Killed him??" Brianna said incredulously. "You fucking blew him to pieces!" Suddenly her mood took a U-turn, and she punched him in the arm, in a very serious and un-playful manner.
"Ow! What - "
"He could have killed you, you retard! You could have -- " Her mood turned again, and she pulled Tyler in for a desperate hug that tortured his broken rib. "I thought you were going to die. I thought you were dead."
"So did I," Tyler murmured.
Khalid stepped up to Tyler. "This is a great moment," he grinned. "But the matter is not finished. We will require proof of our victory." Khalid grasped the Butcher's greasy ponytail and tilted his head back, exposing the neck. The Butcher's piss-eyes seethed with impotent loathing.
Khalid offered Tyler the hilt of his scimitar. "To the victor, the spoils."
"Oh, no. Not me." Tyler shook his head.
"It is only just," the Arab smiled, showing his ivory teeth.
"No, I wasn't the one going toe to toe with that freak. I don't deserve - "
"Tyler." Khalid's rich voice interrupted. "You ended our conflict. It took great courage to act in this matter. You have earned this victory as much as anyone."
Tyler regarded the blade uncomfortably.
"Please." Khalid said.
Tyler looked at Brianna. She nodded at him in encouragement. Tyler took the scimitar. The Butcher glared at him with a look that should have melted glass. "Jesus, he looks pissed." Tyler said, smirking.
Somehow, the Butcher managed to speak. "Hhhhhhkkkkill yooooouuu;" he said raggedly. Tyler involuntarily jumped back. The Butcher did not make any movements larger than a lazy twitch. Tyler silently cursed himself for being startled.
"Hhhhhai amm hhhKING," the creature garbled.
Tyler lined up his strike with the Butcher's throat.
"Not anymore."
He brought the blade down. It cut through the Butcher's tree-trunk neck like a cucumber. Tyler watched the head roll awkwardly to the side. He bent down and lifted it up by the hair. The Butcher's eyes still blinked, still burned with helpless rage.
"Get used to that feeling," Tyler told him. "We're taking our world back."
Tyler tied the wretched thing to his belt. He wanted to stick another grenade in his mouth and be done with it, but Tyler knew it would be kidding himself to think it was over. There was still a lot of work to do, and the Butcher's severed head would be pretty useful in dealing with the veecees that were still out there -
"OI!" A belligerent voice called out.
Tyler turned to look. A hairy red arm was dragging an even hairier red head through the hole in the exterior wall.
"THE MATTER WI' YOO CUNTS!!" Faing shouted as he pulled himself through the opening. "I been hollerin' me lungs oot thair, 'angin' off the side o' the building like a bloody sticky willie, are yeh all fockin' deaf - Michty me, izzat the Butcher's noggin?"
The whole room burst out laughing. And if the cause was joy, relief, or hysteria, no one could care to say.
Next: Conclusion and Epilogue
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-06-09 10:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfection.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2006-01-25 07:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THE MATTER WI' YOO CUNTS!!"
-----
{Sucks we still don't have italics here.) Love the dialogue. Wu-Tang would dip their Kangols. +++
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-12-21 15:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-02 10:25:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'The exterior wall.
"Ah, shite."'
Tragi-comic brilliance.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-11-28 11:09:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I missed this when you first posted it!
This was another worthy addition to the series.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-24 07:58:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kre8rix, good to see you, man.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-11-23 23:20:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I logged in to rate this and to let you know that I'm not dead.
I've been keeping up as best I can. Great work dude.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-11-19 08:35:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey. E-mail me.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do yourself a favor my good friend, avoid cliques.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=113224233950692129#1699594
I have faith in you.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-11-17 11:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-16 19:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zak, you're right, that does seem to refer to Tyler. Whoops. Well, that's easily fixed by inserting "the Butcher" for "his". Thanks for pointing that out.
The 'plan' was for him to, obviously, blow him up from the inside, because his densely muscled exterior seemed too sturdy to significantly damage. Plus a grenade would have blown up Khalid, or they could miss, etc etc. I thought shooting him in the face with a rocket launcher would have been silly (but cool), but it didn't fit because I never once mentioned that the humans had that kind of ordinance.
I hope that was a satisfying end to the Butcher. I felt like I built the conflict up so much that I wasn't sure if I could muster anything that would be 'big' enough.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-16 19:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, but at the end there I was thinking of the Black Knight - NONE SHALL PASS!
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2005-11-16 13:56:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I have been waiting as patiently as I could for the
next installment........I have been curious as to how the butchers' demise would occur,
knowing that it would not be an 'easy' feat.........
Please reconsider having this published........you really created a fantastic concept here, and
i think it would do quite well....
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-11-16 11:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haggis-eater. Heh.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-11-16 11:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
more.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-11-16 11:00:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a little confused, when I first read the explosion part I thought Tyler had lost his left leg at the same time. I see it was the Butcher now, but reading this paragraph quickly
"Tyler struggled to his feet. Stepping gingerly, he returned to the space the Butcher once occupied, as if a loud footstep would reverse what he had done. One of his legs was missing. The remaining one lay off to the side, along with most of his pubis. The flesh had been blasted off his hip, exposing yellowed bone."
it definitely seems like it's referring to Tyler. his not being in horrible pain or swiftly dying of blood loss put the lie to that though. seems petty, but I was reading the final lines surprised by how mobile and articulate Tyler was when he should have been dying in agony.
also, I thought the plan Tyler was obviously working on would be him somehow sacrificing himself so that Khalid would be rejuvenated by his blood. after all, they could have hit him with the grenades at any time, and it seems natural to assume that even ceevee's are susceptible to getting blown to shit.
more Khalid.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit!! F'in AWESOME!!!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-16 09:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm getting tired of telling you how much you lack suck.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-16 09:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-16 09:35:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh, thanks Tim.
The samurai will be later, though. Even if I get on it right away (which i won't be able to do this time of year), I'd have to do a fair bit of research for each story so that the time period that he's in seems authentic. Plus I'm not sure where the story will go, so I have to get an idea plotted out first...
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-16 08:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was thrilled to see this posted. this really was one hell of a series, i enjoyed it very much.
i'd like to see more of that samauri character also. sooner rather than later.
if your'e feeling up to it.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-16 07:55:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Spam, if this were the last post, I never would have ended with that line, because yeah, it does seem a bit like the ending to a sitcom. But seriously, I figured that would be everyone's reaction to Faing climbing back into the building -- I just couldn't think of a way to write it very well. Insert annoyed grunt here.
Fabit, that was a pretty high compliment. Thanks dude.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-11-16 07:18:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm almost sad this is coming to an end. It's been an epic master piece and should be remembered in Uber history for years as the best piece of recourring work to come out of this site.
Well done mate.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-11-16 06:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sucks that this is finishing now.
The only thing I really had a problem with in this was the last line which is only just shy of 'and they all lived happily ever after' but I guess that can be forgiven after almost 30 solid pieces of quality writing.
Submitted by Viper_04 (user info) at 2005-11-16 04:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The....end....is....here....Nooooooooooooo!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-11-16 01:03:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 23:24:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
That's because I don't pick fights with people who like to pick fights.
*****
very good advice.
after being accustomed to winning every 'fight' most of my entire life
the adjustment to this medium has been quite a difficult transition for me
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-15 23:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 23:24:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, I have an idea, why don't you finish one of the THREE series you have going before starting another massive Uber-writing-orgasm?
--
Point taken.
If I was alive during the 50's I would have been that fucking plate-spinner on the Ed Sullivan show.
http://www.phoenixcentre.com/articles/images/plateblack_copy.jpg
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 23:24:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-15 23:14:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't seem to inspire that hate and loathing and nitpickiness that I do.
******************
That's because I don't pick fights with people who like to pick fights. Though watching you and Caul go at it (non-sexually) can be pretty entertaining.
*****************
Another Pandemic-style uber-writer free-for-all story-starter is just around the corner.
Happy New Year.
Hmm.
Heheheh.
AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
************************
Oh, you dirty son of a bitch.
I say NAY. I'm out! You'll not sink your filthy hooks in me this time, McCallum!
Hey, I have an idea, why don't you finish one of the THREE series you have going before starting another massive Uber-writing-orgasm?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-15 23:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'Terrorist.' Nice.
You lucky prick.
You don't seem to inspire that hate and loathing and nitpickiness that I do.
This has been a fun series, and I'm looking forward to the wrap-up.
And guess what?
Another Pandemic-style uber-writer free-for-all story-starter is just around the corner.
Happy New Year.
Hmm.
Heheheh.
AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 22:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, I admit it. The graphic novel idea intrigues me. I do kind of 'script' the story more like a movie than a novel in my head.
Thanks for all the comments and encouragement, guys.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-11-15 22:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:37:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
There's something I don't like about this.
******************************************
a certain amount of self depreciation is healthy but this was still excellent.
i think you front-loaded this episode so much that any ending would have been problematic
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
i only wish i could manage to load either end of a single sentence
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2005-11-15 22:39:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-11-15 22:08:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
graphic novel.
---------------------------------------
exactly my thoughts. This would be a great graphic novel, just one collection that is all we are asking. I know some people who could do the illustration I could help with the story board you would just have to edit the story a bit to fit.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-11-15 22:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
graphic novel.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:59:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:54:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done. I'll be sorry to see the end of this series. Have you got any thoughts as to what you will be writing after this?
**********************
Yeah, but I'll be taking a break from fiction (especially series fiction) for a while. 'The Thousand Year Cut' submission I did for GrUeberfest turned out to be full of possibilities. I would like to write about the samurai character in a series; each installment being a different historical period.
I think it could be work out really well, but only if I do a whack of research.
BOOOOOO to research.
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:56:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MAKE THIS A NOVEL NIGGERRRRR
</stoned comment>
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:54:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
eh...not as good. some phrases/connections pissed me off but still well written.
***************************
Yeah, bob, I dunno...just wasn't 'feeling it,' for lack of a better term. But I couldn't figure out how to make it work better.
Is it the way I wrote it, or is it the events that I wrote?
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:54:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done. I'll be sorry to see the end of this series. Have you got any thoughts as to what you will be writing after this?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
eh...not as good. some phrases/connections pissed me off but still well written.
i say NOVEL YOU DIRTY CANADIAN!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I still hate you, and Jack, and others. . .
I see the future; 2025 and part 23457. . .
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:38:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeez. No beer ... no opera dogs ...
-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:37:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There's something I don't like about this. I certainly don't like the last line, but it's all I could muster up. I also kind of wanted something else to happen, something 'bad' but I couldn't really decide if I wanted to do it or not. So I ended up "not."
Meh. Hopefully you guys think this is a satisfying climax, unlike how my prom night ended.