Leaning over your desk only to realize that you dropped a bit of your lunch in your cleavage... and a picture (992 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.28 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by proofofpurchase (View user info) at 2005-11-16 09:48:33 EST
Tuesday. The most important day of the week in the eyes of my employer, for Tuesday is <in my best announcers voice> Sales Meeting Day. However, yesterday I was unable to stay focused and because I couldn't randomly snort mid-sentence during our "go around the table and pat yourself on the back for what someone else did" session without being mistaken for someone afflicted with Tourette's and subsequently shocking the living piss out of everyone present, I give you "Things that are slightly annoying to me"
Trying to get that pesky mosquito to fly back out of the car window while moving at a high rate of speed.
Opening something packaged in cellophane and having to wrestle off that one little piece that wants to stay static-clinged to your finger.
An itch that can't be scratched. Like the one deep inside of your ear or the one in a spot not lady-like to scratch in mixed company.
Getting a waft of what you think smells like good BBQ only to find out upon further investigative sniffing that it's someone's muffler exhaust.
Stopping for a yummy cup of java at your favorite cup-of-joe establishment and ending up with the worst cup of coffee evar...because every place has an "off" day now and then.
Busting a move to sit or stand and ripping a pube out by its entire root system because it is somehow snagged on something in your nether-region.
Coming down with a cold but not getting real sick - just having one nostril blocked and the other totally free.
Having beautiful weather while you are at work only to have it start to rain like a mofo five minutes before you leave for the day.
If you live in Florida, like myself, leaving your car out of the garage all night only to get into your car in the morning and have every window and mirror covered in dew and not enough time to wipe anything off. It only takes me driving five miles at 80 miles per hour to have enough of the water blown off to be able to see everything. This is akin to putting off buying that ice scraper at the beginning of Winter, for all of you cold weather folks.
Taking the coolest picture with your new digital camera only to have your other half delete it because he thought you downloaded it already.
Getting an extra day off in the middle of the week only to have it be wasted because the car needs servicing. Or being able to get out of work an hour early only to have a client walk in precisely at the time you were about to shut down your PC.
Having an absolutely awesome weekend only to find out that when you check your bank account on Monday you didn't record one check you wrote so the money that you spent coupled with the NSF charges you've acquired have subsequently obliterated what was left in your checking account.
Hearing those magical seven words, "Honey, let's go out to dinner tonight" and then spending an hour arguing because you can't agree on where to go.
Getting the most refreshing nights rest in your life only to have your husband complain all morning that you snored strongly enough to create your own black hole and kept him up all night.
That is enough from me....
For someone - Finally getting the balls to try that role playing thing and then having your other half "get an idea" and hand you something completely out of left field, WTF.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-16 18:43:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can actually see in your post where the Pamprin kicked in....nice pic, too
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-11-16 17:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
An itch that can't be scratched. Like the one deep inside of your ear or the one in a spot not lady-like to scratch in mixed company
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I dont understand why women dont do the groin scratch, i scratch my balls wherever i am and in any company, hell man if there itchy scratch them.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-11-16 16:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I smiled once or twice. It could have been a better rant had you been in a bad mood.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-11-16 14:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
well as long as the item from left field wasn't actually a baseball bat you could work with it right?
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-11-16 14:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the guy's H.P. Lovecraft t-shirt. Cthulu for prez!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-16 14:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was okay.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-16 12:16:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:53:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys have been around long enough to know better than to expect to see an actual cleavage shot. Be happy that the pic is of a fully clothed Merlin-type geek and not one of an exceptional unclothed male with man-boobs.
Submitted by Cryslynn1 (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:48:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Taking the coolest picture with your new digital camera only to have your other half delete it because he thought you downloaded it already." ~ Yeah, that has happened entirley to often to me. That IS a huge pain in the ass.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wrong picture. I thought this was supposed to be a pciture of your rack.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What annoys me is the promise of a cleavage shot, only to find a pic of a man whose name must be Merlin.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Be-lunched cleavage would have been a nice treat at the end of this, but I managed to rub one out to the wizard man just as easily...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you where a dude. No offense.
This read like a chain email.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Decent rant but the cleavage shot turned out to be a cock tease. Thanks for not waking me up this morning =(
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Damn hitwhore titles. Me thinks me needs to think up some better titles for my own posts.
Oh, almost forgot.
"MMMMMM, cleavage."
<drool>
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-16 09:58:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
You know I only clicked here in the hopes of seeing a pic of your cleavage.
-2 DIE! for deception.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh no Peon, you know I can't do that here....but if you meet me at the restroom in the third stall on the right at Noon I will personally make it up to you.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-11-16 09:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Is that dude the pine tree car scent wizard?
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-16 09:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know I only clicked here in the hopes of seeing a pic of your cleavage.
-2 DIE! for deception.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-16 09:56:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you know what annoys me?
those fuckers who never put their shopping carts in the "cart corral" at the supermarket. because 5 steps is WAY TOO FAR TO WALK.
then the damned cart which is always littered with receipts and coupons and some other shit hits your car.
grrrr.