CBS…more like SEE B.S. "I Walk the Line: A Night for Johnny Cash" (2296 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.61 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by WiLL ZoNE (View user info) at 2005-11-17 14:03:57 EST
Last night I had the familiar experience of being excited for a special presentation on TV, and then watching it and ending up feeling rather disappointed and unfulfilled. First "The Magic Hour: with Magic Johnson," and now "I Walk the Line: A Night for Johnny Cash" which aired last night on CBS...I will never trust my TV again. Advertisements are bullshit!
First off, my love for Johnny Cash is a love that's only been brewing over the past 3 or 4 years. My old roommate Mike, the now-married rockabilly punk rocker, introduced me to THE MAN IN BLACK when he let me borrow one of the Cash biographies. I read it, loved it and my ears ingested as much Johnny Cash as my Lime Wire would allow. I was hooked.
It was sad when he died, and then when I saw that the movie "Ray" received such praise I figured that a Cash movie wouldn't be that far off. Low and behold, "I Walk the Line" starring Harelip Phoenix and Greasy Witherspoon is hitting the theaters any second now.
So now it's CASH, cash, CASH wherever you look. And last night was CBS' turn to cash-in on, well, Johnny Cash with the special "I Walk the Line: A Night for Johnny Cash." The "TV special," and "special" not meaning a unique TV event, but "special" meaning retarded, was billed as a musical all-star tribute to Johnny Cash but really played as a long trailer for the movie "I Walk the Line" (in theaters this weekend!!!!)
Joaquin Phoenix aka Leaf Phoenix, aka Harelip Jones, was the first to come out during the special. Immediately he began speaking while the audience was applauding him, thus making the words he said inaudible...this would be a running theme for the evening. Have you ever noticed that Joaquin Phoenix has about as much personality on screen as Andy Garcia who has as much personality as a Wet Blanket? And wouldn't ya know it...Andy Garcia was the other "big celebrity" that was there...as was a Wet Blanket!
Joaquin introduced some young country singer who gave a really great rendition of Folsom Prison...it was rockin...or is it Country-en!? Anyway it was really good. If the rest of the special stayed on par with this performance the show would've been great. But oh no...it only goes downhill.
Now, the worst part of the evening was 70+ year old Jerry Lee Lewis. Sure its great to wheel out an old star on stage for a wave and a bow, and maybe a Kirk-Douglas-esque shaky speech, but please, under no circumstances allow old folks to play rock and roll piano and sing in a lower register than humanely possible. It was sad. He was off-key and off-speed. And then he said "Come on in KID ROCK, show what you can do..."
You know it's a bad performance when Kid Rock comes on stage with you and makes the performance better. My favorite part was watching Kid Rock flounder while trying to keep up with Jerry's tempo changes, and then trying to harmonize with those warbly notes. It was so sad it was laughable. By the way, CNN thought Jerry Lee was the highlight of the whole show (Note to self: never trust CNN again.) http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Music/10/27/people.cashtribute.ap/
Modern Day Jerry Lee Lewis makes Modern Day Brian Wilson sound like Andrea Bocelli.
There were a couple legit highlights: Norah Jones has a pretty voice, and the U2 performance via satellite was pretty good as well. Dennis Quaid was the only other celeb presenter, and he had some personality which was nice to see on stage.
Some other Lowlights: Johnny Cash protégé' Kris Kristofferson sang a lovely Cash/Carter duet with Norah Jones and then stank up the place with his duet with the Foo Fighters...what Cash song did he play with the Foo Fighters you ask...None. He played a Kris Kristofferson song from the late 60's. That's like R. Kelley singing that stupid "In the Closet" song at an Aretha Franklin benefit.
Why did Kris Kristofferson sing a Kris Kristofferson song and not a Johnny Cash song...nothing like hoggin the spotlight Kris! Hollywood changed him...ever since that huge BIG TOP PEEWEE payday he hasn't been the same.
Quick Note: Country Music Stars dress like dumb ass faces. Pansy cowboys.
Also, according to the above CNN article Coldplay also performed in the show, but never made it to broadcast...could they have been that bad? Were they cut? Who knows...who cares?
And to top it all-off, it ended with the hackneyed All-Star Tribute to X. And who led this rag-tag bunch of singers...you guessed it, Jerry Lee Lewis. In every other All-Star tribute I've seen, all the performers are on stage at the end...nope, not this time. This Shit-bute consisted of Norah Jones, Kris Kristofferson and Dwight Yoakam wand that's it...I guess everyone else was in the shitter where the music of the night belongs.
The special was made to promote the movie...which I would've seen in the theaters if this special never existed.
Johnny Cash's rotting corpse decomposing on stage would've been more visually appealing...and the whole show wouldn't have stanked so bad!
Oh Uber, Dear Bob Dylan...please don't ever die. I can't watch a movie called BOB, and an all star tribute with Sum 41, Good Charlotte and Gwen Stefani.
Will
User Reviews
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-12-01 10:25:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i watched this thing too, it sucked ass. Luckily it was Tivoed and I could fast forward through all the crap. I think I watched 5 minutes out of the hour long special.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-01 10:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
CLICK ME http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=2540 CLICK ME
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:05:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always loved Johnny Cash, and most other old country singers like George Jones, Hank Williams, Loretta Lynn. I seriously dislike post 1980's country, especially shit like Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw.
This was a good article. I'm glad I didn't watch that show. When they bring out the Kid Rock, it's all over.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:40:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-11-17 18:46:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-11-17 18:15:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
auto Johnny Cash +2
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-11-18 02:54:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
preach on brother man. Johnny Cash auto +2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-17 19:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Johnny Cash is the fucking MAN.
I didn't see that special, but I'm a huge fan, and I'll take your word for it. Thanks for the heads up.
I wept the day he died.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-17 19:08:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm disappointed. You haven't shelled out a buck to slap this piece of shit up on the uberboard yet.
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-11-17 18:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-11-17 18:15:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
auto Johnny Cash +2
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-11-17 18:15:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto Johnny Cash +2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-11-17 16:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-17 14:21:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
My buddy got advanced-screening to the show last night, and he said it seemed like more of a love story between Johnny and June than anything else. I hope he just misinterpreted the whole thing or I'll be really pissed, because I'm really looking forward to that flick.
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It's actually a great love story but I'm sure the movie would muck it up.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2005-11-17 16:00:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Will-I too love the man in black. Is it you who wrote about the "magic mouse, 1 dollar 1 dollar" guy? Have you lost him? I have found him and he is sitting outside my job site downtown. He may not be alive much longer as the polish laborers are threatening his life as I write this.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-11-17 15:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dumb ass-faces.
If they were dumb-ass faces...i guess they would look like dumb-ass versions of Rod Stewart and co.
http://www.the-faces.com/
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-11-17 15:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait... you lost me.... Country singers dr4ess like dumb-ass faces? Or dumb ass-faces? I'm so confused!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-17 15:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EXCELLENT rant - I agree with everything you said!
I shudder to think what they'll do to Bob Dylan...and Bruce Springsteen.
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2005-11-17 15:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I caught a glimpse of that show, I didn't see much but I did catch a duet between Dwight Yokham and some female singer (she played violin) that wasn't bad. So I guess I should be glad I didn't catch the rest of the show.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-11-17 14:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"generally i dont like when someone treads on someome"
Yea, me too...but this is what I do.
IsawJerry lee like 5 years ago and he was pretty good. This time round...not so good.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-11-17 14:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did not see the show, it is something i would have watched if i was aware.
generally i dont like when someone treads on someome i really like(jerry lee)but i have been to enough jerry lee shows to know that if he is in an ornery mood, the show sucks.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-17 14:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My buddy got advanced-screening to the show last night, and he said it seemed like more of a love story between Johnny and June than anything else. I hope he just misinterpreted the whole thing or I'll be really pissed, because I'm really looking forward to that flick.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-11-17 14:21:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! Shit-bute! HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-17 14:14:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Direct quote from Joaquin Phoenix at the Walk The Line premiere if you haven't heard already...
"Do I have a large frog in my hair? . . . Something's crawling out of my scalp." Despite reassurances from the reporter, the actor replied, "No, but I feel it. I'm not worried about the looks. I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten . . . What did you ask me?"
One of the funniest things i've ever heard in my life.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-11-17 14:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just can't deal with those celebrity passion plays. They're all the same really, rise to fame, drugs, drinking, path of self destruction, then some sort of redemption and/or death in a bathtub.
horrible really
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-11-17 14:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree.
Sheryl Crow is hot.
Jerry Lee Lewis is the debil.