Jokes..you know your huge (original) (4170 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -1.63 on 140 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Balrog (View user info) at 2005-11-18 10:30:50 EST
Ok so me and my suitemates have been compileing a list of jokes for the past week. Yes we are bored.
So you know your huge when....
1. You make a slut look like a virgin
2. You make a light pole look like a toothpick
3. You make a redwood look like a blade of grass
4. You have your own gravitational pull
5. You can satisfy a blue whale
6. The ocean was fresh water before you skeeted in it
7. You skeet in the ocean, there is a noticeable rise in water level
8. You ejaculate and its more powerful than the big bang
9. You're doing a girl doggie style and she can see your back
10. Your penis makes light years look like angstroms
11. You're laying in your loft and your dick is on the ground
12. You teabag a girl standing up
13. People think that you grew up around a nuclear test site
14. You skeeted and they named it the milky way galaxy
15. Your penis is Avogadro's number (6.02 e23) of inches long
16. You pass out when you get an erection
17. The vein on your penis is longer than the Nile River
18. You have to prop your dick with a stool
19. You don't need a lance to joust
20. You skeeted and it looks like a blizzard on a weather satellite
21. Your "head" is bigger than your head
22. You drink a gallon of yellow 5 and your sperm still looks like tadpoles
23. You can play pool with the planets
24. You can make a bridge to Pluto
25. You can use your dick as a life raft
26. You skeet and Earth wobbles on its axis
27. You skeet and there is noticeable recoil
28. Your penis is the opposite reciprocal of Osama's penis (Osama has a
vagina)
29. It takes 5 minutes for a girl to feel your thrust
30. The "plumbing in your house" is bigger than the plumbing in your house
31. You skeeted in the ocean and they created a name for your sperm...WHALES
32. Ripley's Believe It or Not didn't believe it
33. Its always high tide when you go to the beach
34. You can surf on it
35. You need to put a leash on it to keep the head from getting rug burn
36. Your penis looks like it has been infinitely stretched by a black hole
37. You skeet and it creates a sonic-boom
38. You hit her from the back and it tickles her throat
39. You give a whole new meaning to deep throat
40. You give a whole new meaning to foreign affairs
41. You played a starring role in the move Anacondas
42. Drunken nights lead to babies from other planets
43. You can mummify yourself with your penis
44. Your ejaculation is a more violent explosion than Mt. St. Helens
45. You remind people of Old Faithful
46. You can fuck the tailpipe of a cotton picker
47. You make a Louisville slugger look like a popsicle
48. You can stuff a whale's blowhole
49. You can fill up a five gallon bucket
50. You can shut down a sperm bank
51. Helen Keller says "my God! I think I can see it"
52. Your penis has its own asteroid belt
53. You look backwards in a pair of binoculars and you still can't see the
whole thing
54. You make Ron Jeremy look like a baby
55. Your dick covers 3 time zones
56. You always have to walk around with jeans on
57. You're hanging but people think you have a massive erection
58. They don't make a cup size large enough to fit
59. Magnum XL's don't fit
60. Your penis has its own biome
61. You make an anaconda look like a worm
62. You could satisfy a whore when you were born
63. You have a whole different name for your penis
64. You make Jack's beanstalk look like a seedling
65. You make the Jolly Green Giant look like a midget
66. You were born it was bigger than you were
67. You're ugly as shit
68. You can use your sac as a parachute
69. You have stretch marks
70. People can use your dick as a diving board
71. You make a tripod
72. You can lift a cinder block with your penis
73. Your penis weighs more than you do
74. You make a flagpole look like a pencil
75. It hangs like a elephant's trunk
76. Weather patterns only affect the bottom half of your penis
77. They use your penis as a lightning rod
78. People have to use exponential equations to determine your length
79. You fuck and the girl gets worn out like Rip Van Winkle
80. You bust and it reminds people of a fire hose
81. Your penis is as wide as a whale's penis is long
82. You have to duct tape your dick to your leg
83. You jump into the pool and all the water rushes out
84. You can use it as a paddle
85. You need 5 girls to jack you off
86. You can tie it in a knot...10 times
87. Your cock is as big around as a 2 liter bottle
88. Only the jet stream can give you a blow job
89. You were the first person to explore the Mariana's trench
90. The only faces you can slap with your dick are the ones on Mt. Rushmore
91. It's the biggest limb on your body
92. The government has to keep you at area 51
93. Your fortune cookie says "Damn! You got lucky"
94. You could put trojan's out of business.
95. You can scratch your ear with it!
-Props to Nick, Swanson, Brandon, Caleb, Cory, John
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-03 05:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
puff
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-06-11 19:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AWW SKEET SKEET MOTHAFUCKAAAA AWW SKEET SKEET GODDAM!
And it's "you're huge", not "your huge." "Your huge" what?
And which one of you losers brought avogadro's number into this? because chem was the worst class I have ever had and I hate you for reminding me of it.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-11 19:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post really hurt.
Then I stopped sticking broken lightbulbs dipped in sulphuric acid then into my anus with pliars and a blowtorch.
And it still hurt
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-06-11 19:13:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SKEET SKEET MA'FUCKAAA!
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2005-12-09 10:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh my good god you suck
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-05 00:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm doing my best to give the title of worst ever to a post that is more deserving than this one:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/38407
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for contributing to the death of the English language, dickface.
Your(proper example #1) parents must be so proud that you're(#2) shitting away their hard-earned money. And don't even try to say you're(#3) paying for college yourself. Stick to StreetFighter, kiddo.
You're(#4) not even close to being the first person on this site to try this. I just wish you'd be the last.
Eat shit and live,
SW
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2005-11-22 10:16:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is shit.
But this reply is funny:
>Submitted by ryan5012 (user info) at 2005-11-20 12:33:32 (#)
>Ranking: -2
>
>I only met my huge last night. There was a lot of catching up to do.
Submitted by prozacaddict (user info) at 2005-11-22 00:22:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
not enough skeet.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-11-21 23:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-11-19 18:55:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
Even though you all think you made most of these up, I've read most of them before. Not sure if it was a Dilbert book or a George Carlin book, though...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're thinking of Drew Carey's 101 big dick jokes. That is where MANY of these have been taken.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-11-21 19:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
holy shit this masterpiece of shitpaper is still around??
I like how the title says "Original". That cracks me the fuck up like someone's going to think it's too funny to be an original or something, right?
Submitted by resignator (user info) at 2005-11-21 19:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
please stop already
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-21 11:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Tard.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-11-21 10:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know you suck when...
# Messages posted: 3
# Reviews written: 79
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 147
# Hits: 1780
Average rating of all messages: -1.32
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-11-21 10:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 just for using "props"
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-20 18:41:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
cunt
i bet you and cory giggled about how awesome this was too.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-11-20 18:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Review.. you know this sucks (original)
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-20 18:05:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're, not your
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-11-20 17:57:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the sweet fuck is this word "skeet"?
It's a shitty word. Bit like this post, really, only with a lot less "fucking balls-aching" and a hell of a bit more "preteen posturing".
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-11-20 16:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate you.
Submitted by ryan5012 (user info) at 2005-11-20 12:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I only met my huge last night. There was a lot of catching up to do.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-20 12:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the fuck is a suitemate? something in a special school?
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2005-11-20 07:52:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I should open up a resturant with the claim that it's jewish and kosher and all that and put ham in everything."
lol
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-11-19 18:55:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Even though you all think you made most of these up, I've read most of them before. Not sure if it was a Dilbert book or a George Carlin book, though...
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2005-11-19 15:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thankyou ladies and gentleman this is the last stop on the -minuschooo train.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2005-11-19 15:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Chooo chooo!
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-11-19 15:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You misunderstand the term "skeet."
It's a term for ejaculation that only applies when you pull out and spray your juices onto a female.
Other than that, your jokes still suck.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-11-19 14:54:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh god, I knew what an angstrom was without having to look it up! I am teh science.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-11-19 14:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking horrible
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-19 13:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Balrog
User id: 16500
Registered on or around: 2005-02-16 16:58:54
# Messages posted: 3
# Reviews written: 79
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 147
# Hits: 1780
Average rating of all messages: -1.32
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-11-18 22:23:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
<bash>
I should open up a resturant with the claim that it's jewish and kosher and all that and put ham in everything.
That would be awesome.
Kind of like rape, but not really
</bash>
Submitted by FF_EMT32 (user info) at 2005-11-18 21:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
46. You can fuck the tailpipe of a cotton picker
YOU are calling WILDCAT racist? You ignorant piece of shit. He's saying blacks are no better tha they were 150 years ago, and that they all like it in the pooper. Bastard. GO TO HELL. No one likes you. Leave. I'll even say please. PLEASE leave. And, we really need to stop reviewing this bastard. Get him off most heated, most recently reviewed, et al.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-11-18 21:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
5. You can satisfy a blue whale
--------------------------------------------------
So shlongy is huge, guess he wasn't lying.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-18 21:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Baljob I dub thee Baljob
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-18 21:22:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-11-18 21:12:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much time on your hands.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-11-18 20:54:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by fuckstick (user info) at 2005-11-18 20:39:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know you suck when.. ah, fuck it.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.bustedtees.com/product.php?name=yourretarded
Idiot.
Submitted by Bornloser (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:28:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is why the Internet should be not allowed in fraternity. God-awful
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know you're gay when you use the word "suitemates"
Submitted by Required_Reading (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Daedalus (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:13:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Listen, Baljob, I promise to give you a 0 on my next review (which stands to help your rating at least minutely) if you'll do me the honor of writing at least one sentence that correctly employs the words you're and your.
Your jokes suck;
You're apparently quite full of yourself;
You feed on confrontation; and
You're quite possible the stupidest person I've ever encountered online;
but please, for the love of all that is good, LEARN TO WRITE ENGLISH!
It's not hard: you're = you are
your = belonging to you
It works just like they're and their, I'm and my, or she's and her. Just because they sound the same does not mean they are interchangeable.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:49:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I believe every sentiment I want to express in regards to this has been adequately put forth already, so I wasn't going to comment. Then I realized I needeto make sure that you know one more person hates you.
Why has Method quit yelling?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:36:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Show me one fucking joke on that list, pimple-head.
And, for the 4000th time...it's YOU'RE, ya goddamn retard.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
On par with 'Yo Momma......' jokes. Can be mildly amusing sometimes but thats the best they can hope for.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:22:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:01:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
....many of you didn't go through college (if you don't know what a suitemate is your an idiot).
**********
It's not "your" it's "you're" an idiot.
College. Hahaha.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nothing personal...
...but I hate you.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:03:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe when I get the time or care enough I'll write a good article and then you can slam that too.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's fine though gentlemen, since I've been posting (all of a week and half) I've proven that A: I can get as many hits and reviews as I can milk, B: That many of you didn't go through college (if you don't know what a suitemate is your an idiot). I'm rising on the most heated list quite nicely, thankyou all :D. And yes I know you hate me, it's fine with me! I don't know any of you and never will it's quite nice.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-11-18 16:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-11-18 15:23:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
You wasted a ton of time for nothing. CHRIST big dick jokes just need to stop.
*******
So true. I guess it's not breaking news but he made these jokes horrible just to get more reviews.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-11-18 15:23:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You wasted a ton of time for nothing. CHRIST big dick jokes just need to stop.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-18 15:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-18 15:09:34 (#)
Ranking: -1
"suitemates"???
Is that what you young ghey menz call each other now?
It used to be 'butt-buddies' back in my day - you kids and your slang...
This post really sucked, but you get a +1 for introducing the gheyest word evar on Ubersite - 'suitemates'.
heh...suitemates...I am picturing matching curtains and doilies...
-----
This seems ironic, since you brought up "doilies"
Gh.....gh......gh......GHEY!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-11-18 15:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
46. You can fuck the tailpipe of a cotton picker
I don't get this one? what does "cotton picker" refer to?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-18 15:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"suitemates"???
Is that what you young ghey menz call each other now?
It used to be 'butt-buddies' back in my day - you kids and your slang...
This post really sucked, but you get a +1 for introducing the gheyest word evar on Ubersite - 'suitemates'.
heh...suitemates...I am picturing matching curtains and doilies...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:35:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think you've already gotten your flaming for the day by now so I'll just say -2 DIE and be done with it.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:28:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+ 2 for the reviews
-4 because this was the worst post i've ever read on here.
if you've been reading for two years, you would know:
1) crap like this is slammed regularly
2) giving yourself a positive rating is bad form
3) crap like this is slammed regularly
try again. uber has a short memory and if you actually pull out something interesting like tales of collegiate woe, you'll be better received. unless you keep mixing up your and you're.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hahahaha....now others are calling you Baljob, Baljob.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know you're huge when..................Baljob gags.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:47:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't know the difference between your and you're.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Helen Keller can't have kids because the bitch is DEAD.
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:40:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No takers?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, here's one: why can't Helen Keller have kids?
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:40:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She tried to read the speed limit sign while in the car.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:39:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How did helen keller break her arms??
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rearrange the furniture, or put a plunger in the toilet!!
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:39:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You wind it up, and it walks into the wall.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Didja hear about that new Helen Keller doll, fresh on the shelves for Christmas 2005?
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:38:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That one was pretty good
How do you punish helen keller?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:38:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That guy who raped Helen Keller and then cut off her hands so she couldn't scream for help.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, who is the cruelest man in the world?
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You would be too if you had to look at that all day.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Her dog was blind too.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why was Helen Keller's leg always wet?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:35:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You would too if your name was "NNNNGGGHHHHHHHH".
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Insensitive damn right. Helen keller can suck my cock, she succeeded where other women failed...keeping her mouth shut.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, and one more thing: Helen Keller was deaf and mute, you insensitive cockmonger. She can't talk.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good I'm glad I can say I wasted part of your life.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your fortune cookie says "Damn! You got lucky"
SEVEN PEOPLE worked on this?! I find that hard to believe... unless your "suitemates" and you live in the retard wing of the local mental health clinic. And NOTHING makes me angrier than retards who CAN'T TELL A DECENT JOKE.
Come to think of it, watching seven actual dyed-in-the-wool retards from the local mental health clinic try to do stand-up together would have been soooo much funnier than this.
"Weh didda shikn cra da rooooo? WEH DIDDA SHIKN CRA DA ROOOOOOOOOO?!?" *throws microphone at audience*
Your fortune cookie says, "What a fuckin senseless waste of my time, to have read this post"
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not to sound cliche but you first.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:28:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
For the love of Christ....
<Ctrl> - <Alt> - <Del> your life!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what's a nigger?
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:06:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats good someone with the name foonboo said cory, brandon and caleb are bad names. Wow, I'm sure that was extremely insulting to them.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut the fuck up Donnie. You're out of your element.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:03:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why does it not suprise me that a "Brandon," a "Caleb," and a "Cory" had their hand in this awful shit? Nice names, you fags.
Submitted by clit_commander (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
THis is just really, really fucking stupid.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-18 13:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're an embarrassment to all whites in my office.
And I have a single office.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fudge thats only when I'm with you and badassmofo.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:44:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ok...how about i make a broad sweeping statment:
"you enjoy anal intercourse with sweaty men"
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was making a broad sweeping statement, and yet I've seen so far that my broad sweeping statement is 100% correct. And no fudge I'm white.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shut up you deigo wop guinea-head.
and shut your jew face.
and while we're at it.........chink.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:37:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Mexican, nice you called me a mexican that might be the worst insult ever...only not.
---------
We're not all racists on Ubersite. Many of us are deeply committed to equality and anti-prejudice.
*hurls bananas*
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:37:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mexican, nice you called me a mexican that might be the worst insult ever...only not.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow. its like the 95 theses.
Except fucking retarded.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
dis sheits fo you yo http://www.ubersite.com/m/79459
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:35:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking mexican.
sell your oranges someplace else, jose.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:33:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Way to go wildcat your just making shit up as you go along now. You do realize that I ALREADY stated that they all contributed to it and that they all wrote some of it. Which is exactly correct, before I posted it they wrote a lot of it down. So jesus titty fucking christ it's not plaigarism when they wrote it now is it?
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:31:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
nigger.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Way to plagiarize your(take note on correct usage) friends you unoriginal cum dumpster.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Also note I said I have been READING uber for 2 years. Which I have, I only recently ever posted and I only recently joined as a member. Seeing as you don't need to be a member to read this. Way to read.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A: When have I ever stated I was good at anything? I suck at writing I know I do.
B: I didn't write all of these as I state below everyone in my suite did.
C: I have a concentration in scientific studies (up yours to which ones), not that it matters seeing as I already pointed out that I didn't write this up on my own.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:17:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know, it's great that you think I'm some big redneck racist. I'd like to argue with you by telling you all about my black room mate in college or how 50% of my childhood friends were black but I recognize that you're a fucking moron. Take note of the proper usage of YOU'RE. Anyway, if you've really been here on uber for 2 years as you claim, why the fuck do you only have 3 posts and why are all three pieces of shit? The point is that you're (take note of that again) not as good as you thought you were. It must be rather disappointing finding it out just recently.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And yes I have been reading here for 2 years.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok badassmofo so you raped me, what can I say I enjoyed it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh yeah...my reputation leads me to outstanding ratings!
Thanks for noticing, assmonger.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-18 12:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm predicting this will go to most heated. Not because of the quality/crappiness of the post, but because the poster has kicked up a stink in the reviews.
I could have so much fun if only I had an alter.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:59:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:34:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been reading on uber for 2 years
-----------------------------------
If that were true, you wouldn't post shit that sucks this fucking bad.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
izua smoke?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:44:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OH no, you don't respect me?
Jeezus learn to take a fucking joke or I'll be forced to rape you...again.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:37:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I do not post terribles mother fucker!!!
Submitted by GoodGirl (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:36:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i found none of this toilet humnor funny in the least bit.
but hey, enjoy seventh grade! it's a blast!
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:34:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There was go again...shlongy always has to have his two cents. I've been reading on uber for 2 years, I've seen some terrible posts by well knows (such as badassmofo) get ridiculous ratings just because of their name. I had respect for some of you people, I've definately lost it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Blacks are more than welcome to post on Uber.
Fucking idiots, like yourself, are not.
Go away.
Signed, The Management.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thankyou badassmofo for adding that. It's true so you have one black guy on the entire board. Is uber only for whites? Can black people not post here too? Or do they have to be accepted by the general populace of uber?
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:27:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wildcat your racist because you said....
"Are you black, a rapper, poor white trash, or just a dumb mother fucker"
^^^^^^^
So you have compared blacks to poor white track and dumb mother fuckers, thats sort of shitty don't you think? And so what if the word skeet is used? If I had replaced skeet with ejaculate it would have made oh so much of a big difference. I don't think I've ever used the word skeet in my entire life. And I don't see how what language you use or what music you listen to has any affect on the society, you stereotyped blacks again. If you've got a problem with blacks go ahead and own up to it.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Racist? We don't even know any niggers here.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:24:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Balrog, there's a black guy here called Kracka. Everyone thinks he's awesome.
It's just your idiot black friend we have a problem with, along with idiot white people, idiot yellows, pinks, browns, even the fucking dead-and-blue. Ask anyone who Eric D. Rice is, and you'll find your proof.
But only the idiots.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"If you've got a god damn problem with black people maybe you'd like to say it to his face? Racist red neck piece of shit."
HAHAHAHAHAHA I can't believe you actually said that. I can't believe that because someone has no appreciation for ignorant modern black music they instantly become two things: a racist and a redneck. I don't listen to that ignorant shit and neither do self respecting, productive members of society regardless of color. Dumb fuck. What's the difference between almost 95% of black music today and older artists like Ray Charles? Class, plain and simple. They might push the edge but they don't sound like a dumb mother fucker or carry on with the stereotypical 'yo yo yo what be up my nigga' bullshit.
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm afraid I didn't realize that ubersite was full of racist pieces of shit?
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
<doing my best Spicoli>: Duuuuuuude. Props, man! Totally killer props out to my boy caleb. Yaaah dude. Couldn'ta done this shit without you, man. Dude...dude...remember that time when we went to White Castle and ate the burgers AND the carboard boxes it came in, too....HAHAHAHAHAH...that SO RULED, MAN!!! AHA.
And yo, a shoutout to my boy Swanson, too! And Cory! And Brandon! And some other gay name!
Duuuuuuude....you know, you know you're huuuge when you, like, you like, get a lap dance and get a stiffy to one side of your pants.....on no wait, that wasn't it....what was the question again?
Caleb?
Swanson?
Dude...I could TOTALLY go for some chicken right now!
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:14:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For a start, I don't actually listen to rap, I hate rap. The only musical choices I have tend to heavy metal and old punk bands. The list was written by all of the people in my suite, one of them does happen to listen to rap and be black. If you've got a god damn problem with black people maybe you'd like to say it to his face? Racist red neck piece of shit.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, it was 'lil jon and the eastside boyz'. Yes, these are the people you just quoted. Fucking moron.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:03:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Good, I hope you think it was racist. In fact, I hope you took offense to it since it's not good english. I hope you rethink the way your talk and think. Fuck, I just hope you fade away and die. But alas, you'll probably always follow pop culture and adopt new words that others create just to make money off of you. And I don't care what you say, it's a word rappers use and that's a fact. What rappers you say? Black ones. I think they're called the Yin Yang Twins if I'm not mistaken so go fuck off.
Skeet
Pronunciation: 'skEt
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps from Norwegian skyte to shoot
: trapshooting in which clay targets are thrown in such a way as to simulate the angles of flight of birds
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was the most racist fucking thing I've ever heard wildcat. Eat shit and die.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:49:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
These were jokes? Huh.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"6. The ocean was fresh water before you skeeted in it."
Are you black, a rapper, poor white trash, or just a dumb mother fucker that ACTUALLY uses such words in everyday language, i.e. retard speak?
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I still thought it was funny. And no I did not copy them from joke sites. You could just google it and find that out you douche bag. The lack of good spelling might stem from the fact that I wrote down 95 fucking jokes in a row. How the fuck does the emo shit rank better than penis jokes? If you don't like penis jokes don't rate it seeing as it was under the "dirty humor" section.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're obsessed with big penises. Congratulations and welcome to the club.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:41:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stick to what you do best........
whack off to Victoria Secret magazines
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
96. Balrog's mom is impressed.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:40:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't know... they feel like they were collected from some joke sites that make this shit as well.....
Its a simple formula: You know you are _____________________ when:
1) pointless reason
3) pointless reason
6) pointless reason
21) pointless reason
135) pointless reason
210) no one cares at this point.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:38:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're not serious?
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:37:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok. While this did make me smile (+1) i've also seen better (-1). hence, 0.
isn't the uber rating system great
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Between your use of random science facts like Avogadro's number and such and your use of the word skeet, I really want to murder you in your sleep. The fact that you are probably in college and don't know the difference between your and you're makes me really want to murder you, this time while you're (you+are. See how I did that?) awake.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can think of so many good reasons for you to fight a crocodile, the main one of course would be death, or at least horrific maiming and brain damage. Who knows, your posts might improve...
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:33:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for misspelling the title.
And the rest was fucking shit too.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok since you say suitemates i assume YOU'RE in college
so here is a handy tip
you are -----> YOU'RE
thank you
ok now i will read it