An Unfortunate Discovery (681 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.6 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (View user info) at 2005-11-18 14:18:20 EST
Synapses fired like bolts of lightning in the storm of fire that consumed his mind. Waves of debilitating nausea crashed furiously into his stomach as he tried to cope with what he was seeing.
Before him sat his open laptop, displaying images he couldn't bare to fathom. While sifting through various pages on the internet, looking at pornography as so many men find themselves doing when alone and bored, he came across a website that contained images that would be the bane of his every waking thought for years to come.
He stared intently at a picture of a girl whom looked very much like his fiancé sucking on a dick. A dick that most certainly wasn't his.
"Candies Playroom?" He whispered aloud as he clicked on picture after picture of what he hoped and prayed was Christie's doppelganger doing things that Tom had never even imagined of asking her to do.
That's when he first noticed the tattoo on her left ankle. It was a small tattoo and the picture wasn't focused on that area, but it was unmistakable. It was a tattoo of Calvin holding the stuffed version of Hobbes. Tom had taken her to the tattoo parlor as a birthday gift last year.
It was her. The girl Tom had promised his life to had pictures of herself getting fucked everyway which way by multiple guys. When it all started to finally settle in, the taste of bile filled his mouth and he dashed for the bathroom.
After an amount of time passed that Tom would never really be able to figure out, he began to wipe the tears from his eyes and the vomit from his mouth. He turned on the shower and began to brush his teeth.
Once he was cleaned up, he printed out a few key images and went into his closet. He kept his Heckler & Koch Mark 23 loaded at all times, but liked to keep it high up on the top shelf where his nephews couldn't reach it when they came to visit.
As soon as he gripped the cold steel, his mind became frozen.
No emotion, no thought, only confrontation could release him from his automated state.
Fifteen minutes later he parked his car and sat still. A moment of quiet contemplation gave him pause as he eyed the pistol sitting on the passenger seat. Then his mind was jolted with an image of his fiancé receiving a cum shot in the eye from a skinny black guy and he shut down once again.
With that final thought, he was off. As he walked in the door he was greeted with smiles from Christies coworkers. "Hi Tom! How are you?" piped Amy as Tom walked briskly past her. Christie turned around at the sound his name and was met with the butt of a gun to the bridge of her nose.
Tom stood over her with his gun pointed at her forehead. He threw the pictures he had in his left hand at her and began to scream.
"How could you do this to me you slut! How could you do this to us?"
As the blood dribbling down her face mixed with the tears streaming from her eyes, she began to choke on her words as she tried to explain.
She didn't even get I'm sorry out before three loud bangs followed by the sound of three shells hitting the floor erupted in the small hair salon.
Tom fell to his knees and everyone who hadn't left the parlor already was running out the door screaming. He began to sob as he kept muttering why over and over to himself.
"I'm so sorry" Christie sputtered as she stared at the bullet holes in the ground inches from her head.
User Reviews
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-12-15 06:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good ending; the cliche thing to do would be to kill off the bitch. That was much more better.
So why did she do it?
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-11-20 02:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:37:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
i have no pity for the male character
i'm not sure why, maybe the reader should learn more about him first>?
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Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:31:05 (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad, but i want to know why she did it.
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See above,
but,
it was good none the less.
conditional +2... now fill us in on the rest.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:06:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
but whom killed her and why?
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-11-18 16:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, so I had to reread the last part there because I totally thought he was staring at the bullet holes in her head.
Oh yeah, this was pretty good.
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:31:05 (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad, but i want to know why she did it.
Thanks, I'm not sure why. This story came to me the second I woke
up today. I was going to flesh it out with some commentary about Tom
and Christies sex life but I felt if I had made it too long then
I would have had to break it up into two parts.
I was apprehensive of doing that because I didn't want anyone think
that the ending was going to be tho old formula of him shooting her.
I do wish I had proofread it one more time though.
Maybe I'll do a second one from her perspective...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh, the guys are work are going to have a field day with this.
-- Homer Simpson
The Call of the Simpsons
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
weeps
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i have no pity for the male character
i'm not sure why, maybe the reader should learn more about him first>?
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad, but i want to know why she did it.
Submitted by windowsrcold (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was a good story. Now is it fiction or non-fiction. Just too bad he didn't shoot the bitch!
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-18 14:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just got two job offers lined up. +2's for everyone!


