tales from the school yard (718 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.62 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by bonnee (View user info) at 2005-11-18 17:54:35 EST
Does anyone remember the game of tetherball? Basically, you try and wrap a ball tied to a rope around a pole. It's not really fun to play, but it is great to watch. There's always humor in watching people get hurt in stupid ways.
One of my duties at work is to watch over the tetherball games on the playground. When someone wins I have to unwrap the rope and supervise the next game. I never worry about getting hit with the damn thing because the kids know not to hit the ball when the teacher is touching it.
The game was over so I stepped up to do my job. I turned around for just a second and suddenly felt the ball rocketing off of my head. It was about 25 degrees out and I was already slightly uncomfortable. One cannot imagine how a leather ball feels ricocheting off of your already numb face. I felt like a fucking truck just hit me. I grabbed the side of my face that was already rapidly swelling and looked for the little shit that did it. Normally, a string of bad language would be spewing from my mouth like vomit, but I had to remember that I was at work.
I couldn't believe my eye. It was the smallest girl in my class. She is about 35 pounds and only comes up to my waist. She hits like a 250 pound man. I don't say anything. I just point to the fence and she slowly walks over for her timeout. Nobody is laughing.
Then I stop and think. Oh how I wish I had this on film! That had to be the funniest shit that happened all day. I should be laughing my ass off. I have a black eye from a five year old! I cannot keep her on the fence. She just kicked my ass! I gave her a piece of candy when we got back to the classroom. I'm going to make sure she plays everyday in the hopes that it will happen again. I will post a picture if I can get one.
User Reviews
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I want to see a pic. Mainly so I knew who I am stalking.....I mean....uh following without your prior knowledge.
Seriously though, +1 for giving the kid encouragement even in the face of your own pain. I do that and few people do.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-11-19 18:51:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The idiot brigade is out in force.
Don't worry about shlongy. He's a 5'6", 90 year old man. He likes you because you have boobs. You just didn't give him enough attention when he commented before and you hurt his feelings. Promise him some sweet loving and he'll give you positive ratings forever and ever.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-11-19 14:05:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus! Don't try and insult if you can't even bother spelling right. Moron. You probably don't even know what that means.
-----------
Submitted by fusion88 (user info) at 2005-11-19 05:59:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
i bet ur a pedofile or something
Submitted by fusion88 (user info) at 2005-11-19 05:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i bet ur a pedofile or something
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-11-18 21:24:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Is that a promise?
-----------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-18 20:26:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
If you post the picture, I just might retire from Uber.
This was one of the worst stories ever.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-18 20:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you post the picture, I just might retire from Uber.
This was one of the worst stories ever.
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2005-11-18 20:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop posting and I'll get a little girl to disrespect your balls with tetherball!
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy hell I would have loved to have heard that. I wonder what the bohemith looked like when he told her to stop interrupting.
-----------------------------
It went very well. Someone called in and asked if we would like to push old people down stairs. Then he told people to quit interrupting him and asked if they wanted Taco Bell. All in all a good time.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:23:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It went very well. Someone called in and asked if we would like to push old people down stairs. Then he told people to quit interrupting him and asked if they wanted Taco Bell. All in all a good time.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You would hit my anyway. Please don't make me karate chop your ass.
How did the conference call go?
------------------------------------
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:14:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
This rating is because I'm the best fucking person you know. Write something longer next time or I shall hit you. Twice.
Submitted by Required_Reading (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
teatherball! I haven't played since the 6th grade or so.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This rating is because I'm the best fucking person you know. Write something longer next time or I shall hit you. Twice.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
playground duty is great, I get to do it once in a while.
Some of my friends are 'noon-duty' ladies, they have kids follow them around like their own little entourage.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-11-18 17:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to be the master at that game. Until one day I played so much my right hand had swollen to twice the size of my left. I didn't even notice for a very long time that night.