STewPID (768 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.69 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Holly Golitely <hollywon1.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-11-19 00:06:48 EST
I was driving home from work today, feeling slightly like I might have the strep bacteria in my throat tomorrow, when I approached a traffic light (it was red). Being the law abiding citizen that I am, I applied the brakes. I watched a pedestrian, looking confused, for about 10 seconds. Then, I noticed a car approaching the light from the lane to my left via my rearview mirror.
It might have been a good thing that the white stick figure on the "walk" indicator did not cause any sort of intelligent reaction from the would-be-walking woman, because that car blew right through the stop light as if it wasn't even there.
However, given the time, I could have placed her in a basket and hand-carted her fat ass across the Nile on my own.... So,
NO ONE WOULD HAVE DIED.
Still, the whole red-running thing pissed me off.
"What a fucking cow-biting idiot. Are your optic nerves BROKEN?!" I said aloud.
I didn't really say that. The second sentence would have caused internal bleeding, had it come from my lips. What I really said was something boring, like "dumbass".
Regardless, I couldn't believe that a Homo Sapien, or even a Neanderthal, with a license to operate a motor vehicle would be so completely unaware of their surroundings! Did they not wonder why everyone else was stopped?! Did the pretty light (FIRE, FIRE) not draw their attention?
Then, I remembered a few things. You see, downtown Cincinnati is a fun place to drive, because it's like a video game. People get dumb looks on their faces, then walk aimlessly into 4 lanes of moving traffic - 10 points. Sometimes, they run (or dart) - 20 points - and occasionally there is no intersection at all - 35, unless they are old or crippled. That's the bonus round.
So, most people have their brakes checked when they fill their tanks with goldsoline.
I think it is for this very reason that we have stop lights at half blocks. There is no cross street, but there is a light. Such lights aren't even hung properly. They are sideways (most are vertical) and above the area which we normally scan for vehicular awareness.
Once upon a time, I was applying for jobs in Cincinnati. Once upon a time, I ran misplaced red lights.
It was then, that I realized how MJ-accusingly ignorant I was. I was chastising someone for being an asshole, when I had previously made the very same error (no, not child molestation....light ignoration....similar, but different).
I was mad at someone for doing something that which I had done. WTF???
The only reason that I knew not to do it, was that I'd done it before. SOOOOO.... Why should I be pissed that they didn't know? It's not like people run red lights intentionally. There are fines for that shit!
I have no doubt that you understand.
Now, change the scenario.
Do it.
In your head.
Now, fucker.
Done? Good.
There are so many instances of us feeling that other people are "stupid".
Why?
We learned a lesson that they haven't learned.
You were stupid, once. You're stupid now, to others.
This whole thought process made me think about Uber. It made me think about those who are TRULY conceited and made me laugh.
I suppose each of us "need" to believe that we have some sort of advantage.
Heheheh...gre gagg eh
Maybe, we just have no idea that the advantage we have is because we WERE that person at some point in time.
So.....the other day, I went to lunch with the work people.
It was ironical, because I think they are sometimes stupid.
Anyway, at the end of lunch, my work buddy IM'd me and said that she would like a tea bag. She said that a tea bag would be the perfect dessert.
I said "haha", but she didn't "get it".
She thought I was stupid 
You fuckers have learned me the humor in her statement.
Thanks.
I owe you.
User Reviews
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-11-23 01:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ETS-
I appreciated your comment very much.
I considered writing a "what I meant" post, but fuck posts.
My post was SUPPOSED to be about how we judge others' stupidity, when the reality is that, by assuming that another is "stupid", we are the idiots. Who the hell do we think we are? Good for us.....we learned something, presumably, before someone else. CONFUCKINGGRATULATIONS TO US.
I could go on about this, but the point is......no matter how much we'd like to believe so....I'm no better than you (obviously), you're no better than me....and he/she/it has so much on us.
We started at the same spot, and regardless of the length of time it takes us to get there......we'll end........at the end.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-21 18:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She said that a tea bag would be the perfect dessert.
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and indeed it is
Submitted by Required_Reading (user info) at 2005-11-20 11:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-20 11:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What is English for strep throat- tonsilitus?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-20 00:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got 95 points today.
Submitted by Dante_Alighieri (user info) at 2005-11-19 17:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stoopud! Unga bung fung funga bunga!
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-11-19 11:41:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahaha
I don't know what this is.
:(
GO BUCKEYES!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-19 09:45:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-11-19 08:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
In NY, they're not stop signs, they're 'stoptionals'
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-19 06:11:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It was ironical, because I think they are sometimes stupid.
-----------------------
This statement made me think, "Is this woman really that smart?" or is ironical even a word? Either way, your sense of humor is decent enough, although it seems like you might be pushing the humor just a bit. Let it flow naturally, I think you have it in you.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-19 06:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This one started off a little slow. You lost me in a couple parts because of your wording of some sentences. If you posted more consistently, I think you'd lose that awkwardness. It would feel more natural.
It got better about the time the post turned philosophical toward the end though about the feeling of superiority over those who are just like we *used* to be. It's easier for us to see how they are more 'wrong' than us because we've logically progressed or evolved beyond that stage.
I was just thinking about this a moment ago... I actually woke up from a dream where this was the main theme: the evolution of humanity through ideas. Although there were other things involved in my dream that helped me see the same thing you're talking about here, it's still the same concept.
That's kind of a weird coincidence, since yours is the only post on the front page I started reading after I decided to check uber to help settle me back down for sleep...
No offense. I don't mean that like it sounds... I'm not merely reading your post because I think it will put me to sleep; it's just that I have found myself waking up at strange hours and being unable to get back to sleep, I get a drink and do a quick check of uber while I'm settling back into the night mode.
Anyway...I shouldn't even be up right now. That's the point. It was a deep, subconscious force that drew me to THIS post to read out of all the 40 or so posts on the front page right now because it contained the VERY THEME of the dream that had just awakened me.
(I might post what my dream is about sometime soon. I've already written it down, but at the moment, the idea is not fully developed.)
Anyway, as for your post, make your wording just a bit less awkward, and you'll get a better rating from me next time.
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2005-11-19 01:20:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
dont think so much, nothing good can come of it
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-19 00:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Here's to being drunk...and a bit stoned.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-19 00:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mass transit will soont ake over our lives.
Yes, I'm drunk.
Go Buckeyes! Bengals suck dick, but so do the Browns.,,
Gooodnight now.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-11-19 00:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mis nonsemse es muy importante.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-11-19 00:19:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
wtf im not comprehending all that?!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-11-19 00:17:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Its the testosterone rubbing off on you, men find this humor at like 2.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-11-19 00:14:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No me gusta.
Chicle en el cesto, por favor.