When giving directions, always make sure the other person is not a total moron. (1266 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.47 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jay Peg (View user info) at 2005-11-19 23:28:51 EST
Alright. More hotel fun.
I have a guest with a reservation for tonight. We'll call him Charlie.
Anyway, Charlee called today about 11AM to confirm his reservation, and get directions to the hotel, which is pretty normal. So I tell him that from I-25, you get off at Exit 197, which is Arapahoe Road, and then heading west, go 2 lights, then turn right.
Pretty simple, right?
Yeah.
At noon or so, he calls back, saying that he's coming up on Exit 197, and it doesn't look like there is much of anything coming up on the highway. I ask what he means, and he says, "I'm kind of in a hilly area, and there are some trees and all, but I don't see a city coming up."
Since this pretty much explains the area around I-25 about 10 miles south of my exit, I'm thinking it's normal. I tell him such, and that he should be seeing the city shortly.
Twenty minutes later, he calls again. He says that he got off on Exit 197, and if that what he's seeing is Denver, it's a lot smaller city than he's used to. I ask what he means again, and he starts yammering on about a two-lane road that turns to dirt in half a mile.
Obviously this is NOT my exit, since the hotel is in the middle of the love child of Silicon Valley and Hartford, Conneticut (fuck if I know if I spelled it right. What kind of a state has that kind of a name, anyway?) SO, back to story...
I ask him if he's sure he's on tje right exit, 197, and not maybe 187, or 179, since both of those are minor exits between Denver and Castle Rock.
After a 20 second spewing of obscenities swearing to God on high that he damn well fucking DID exit 197, he starts ripping on me for giving him faulty directions, and playing around with him, since he's a very tired man who's been drving all day yadda yadda yadda.
At this point, I'm tempted to hang up on him. So I say, "Sir, I am not 'playing around'. The directions I gave you were pretty clear, and pretty exact, down to the number of lighyts you pass before each turn. I really don't like the language you're using, and I'm hanging up now."
I did say I was tempted, didn't I?
So the cock-knocker calls me back, and gives me the whole "I don't appreciate being hung up on, young man" routine, and starts cussing out my directions again.
So I hang up.
Again.
He calls back, cussing.
Hang up.
Finally he calls back AGAIN, and wants to speak with my manager.
So, I put him on hold, go back to my office, and pick it up again.
(I forgot to mention the promotion, didn't I? Weekend Manager...)
He's now gotten the point that he shouldn't really be all that rude to me, since all it will get him is more time out of his precious hotel sleep, so I ask him to go back to the highway and describe what he sees, so that I can walk him in, step by step if I have to. (I know the area for about 20 miles up and down the highway like the back of my hand after a 4 hour masturbation marathon)
So he describes the gas station, and the small shitty motel on the corner. I ask him the name of the motel, and he says that all the sign says is 'MOTEL' and the phone number.
So I ask him the phone number.
He says, "Five-oh-five etc etc etc etc"
My response. "Sir. 505 is the area code for New Mexico. Denver is 303. Are you in New Mexico, sir?"
Silence.
*click*
Idiot shit checked into the hotel about an hour ago.
When he gave me his credit card, I recognized the name and asked him "how was New Mexico?"
He said nothing.
I just smiled.
Dumb bastard.
User Reviews
Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2006-08-25 08:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-28 19:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-22 12:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-11-21 22:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Doing good, Tim.
Although now on weekends at work I have to wither wear a jacket or a vest while working.
And I'm not allowed to roll up my sleeves, either.
Yeah, tough life.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-11-21 10:45:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Finally he calls back AGAIN, and wants to speak with my manager.
So, I put him on hold, go back to my office, and pick it up again.
(I forgot to mention the promotion, didn't I? Weekend Manager...)"
Hahahahaha! That's the kind of thing I've always dreamed of doing.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-21 10:42:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-21 09:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always give bad directions intentionally...because.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2005-11-21 09:04:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-21 08:54:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I know every stretch of I-25 that you were talking about, and the guy IS a tool.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-21 08:12:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that is good shit.
you doing well?
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-11-21 02:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My response. "Sir. 505 is the area code for New Mexico. Denver is 303. Are you in New Mexico, sir?"
Silence.
*click*
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-11-21 02:25:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If it's true, it's hilarious
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-11-21 00:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2005-11-20 23:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck, i liked it
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-11-20 23:08:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
connect-i-cut
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-11-20 22:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah...
I give good directions.
MIssed ya, Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-20 18:21:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet your directions sucked.
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-11-20 13:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
poot
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-11-20 12:54:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2005-11-20 12:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love it
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-20 11:32:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-20 11:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not all of the yuppies are in Boulder or Denver. We have way too
many here in Colorado Springs.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-20 11:09:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Moron indeed.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-11-20 10:34:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hee hee!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-11-20 10:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff.
How far is it from Colerado to New Mexico?
-Dave
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-11-20 05:04:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Damn, I thought you were dead.. What a let down.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-11-20 04:32:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
heh heh
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-11-20 04:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Priceless.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2005-11-20 03:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ouch.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-11-20 01:49:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha!
Submitted by stevendurel (user info) at 2005-11-20 01:48:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Connecticut. CONNECT-I-CUT. Three words.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2005-11-20 01:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on! I hope you were able to run up to his room ahead of him & piss on his pillow.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-11-20 01:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA1!!~!!!!!!~!!
Submitted by polymorph505 (user info) at 2005-11-20 01:05:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I used to, until the prententious ass-snarfing yuppies started showing up and ruining everything great about it. The day you walk into a biker bar and see a bunch of crew cut IT fucksticks hanging out, and THEN find out you can't smoke, is a sad day indeed. I'd much rather go out to Pearl Street and listen to to the zip code guy amaze people by memorizing a bunch of useless numbers. Or that guy that could throw a playing card on the roof of a building at will, I still have never figured that one out. Fuck yuppies.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-11-20 00:50:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUUUUUUUCK!!!
I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT WEDNESDAY WAS MY UBERVERSARY!!!!!!
SONOFACOATHANGINGNECROPHELIAC!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-11-20 00:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You *like* the People's Republic?
Seriously?
I try to avoid that patchouli-stenched town at all costs.
Submitted by polymorph505 (user info) at 2005-11-20 00:17:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bwahahaha, +2 for a weld told story and for having to live in Colorado.
I hate this fuckin place sometimes.
It'd be all right if all the mexicans, californians, and texans would just get the fuck out. And give us back Boulder like is used to be, drugs a plenty and a Pearl Street full of amateur fuckabouts doing weird shit for no reason at all. Boulder used to be cool.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-11-20 00:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-11-19 23:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2005-11-19 23:33:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold.