My Experience Dating a Black Chick (2332 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: memories
Rating: 1.92 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RyuFu (View user info) at 2005-11-22 13:09:34 EST
Last year I posted about losing my virginity to a Dominican chica. :::sigh::: Memories.
Ahem...In that post I mentioned in passing my near-experience with a black chick. Now, I present you with a deeper look into that relationship. Or debacle. Whatever you wish to call it.
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A long time ago, in the far off land of Sleepy Hollow, Westchester...
I went the YMCA a lot when I was in high school. With a $100 under-17 annual price tag, it was by far the cheapest way to work out. Every other day after school and on Saturday mornings I would work out and play some basketball. Almost every day I went in, Angie was there to take my ID card. A few times, I remember seeing her shoo away the other girl at the desk to take my ID card.
It was pretty cool, I thought. She looked like a cute hispanic chick, and I probably would have considered asking her out at the time, but she seemed a bit older. And I was interested in a few girls in my grade. And the real truth is that I was pretty oblivious to her fondness for me. When I turned 18, the membership fee cost more than I could afford on a salary of zero, so I stopped going.
A year later, I moved back home after a semester at college. I thought it would be nice to commute, but that debacle is another post in itself. Having worked a bit while going to school, I had a bit of cash, so I decided to splurge on an adult membership at the Y. Lo and behold, Angie still worked there. And she looked better than I remembered. A lot better.
Almost as if I hadn't stopped going, she continued taking my card, except now I wasn't clouded in my judgment by the prospect of high school chicks (as much). So I had conversations with her. It was, in essence, courting. One day while I was working out, she came into the gym to "supervise the facilities." Mm hmm. After talking for 2 hours, I found out some interesting info about her: she was 24 (I was 19 at the time); she was not, in fact, hispanic, but rather half black and half white like my coffee. And I found out she was slightly ghetto.
And by "ghetto," I mean she lived in teh projects.
Whatever. I liked her and I wasn't about to get wrapped up in financial discrepancies and whatnot. So I asked her out to a movie and she accepted. The date went fine and I drove her to her place. And that's when it dawned on me that I had never actually been in her apartment complex before, although I had nervously driven past it on a few occasions. I don't mean to say that government-subsidized housing is shitty, but...well, government-subsidized housing is shitty.
Stains on the walls, a faint presence of urine in the stairwells, one guy passed out in the hallway--acceptable for a college dormitory, unacceptable for an actual home. But I ignored that at the time. Because I liked this chick. And I was horny.
Her apartment reeked of cigarette smoke and cats. This is because she smoked cigarettes heavily and had two cats. She told me about how she had been on two Jerry Springer-esque shows and received cartons of cigarettes for her appearances. She showed me her large collection of horror flicks. I didn't know what to make of it, so I just ignored it. I was horny, after all.
It's worth noting that I was still a vagina-penetration virgin at the time. But I could tell by the ferocity with which she practically devoured my cock that I would be shedding that label by the next date at the latest. After she finished me off, I made a move to go down on her, but she said she didn't like being eaten out. I shrugged that off and went to sleep next to her, happy to know I would be receiving freebies.
I woke up the next morning with a clear mind and a content penis. Angie was still asleep. I took the opportunity to look around the apartment, see if I could guage her better. I noticed a common theme throughout the apartment: cats and a little boy. A little boy that looked remarkably like her. Common sense would tell you that...well, you know what it would tell you. But I was still looking forward to sex. So I told myself she really enjoys those pictures of her little "brother." Besides, he's so big in those pictures, he looks like he's 9 or 10...
"Hey Angie," I asked her when she woke up, "who's that kid in all these pictures? Is that your little brother?"
"Oh, nah, that's my son, Tré."
"Oh."
"You don't have a problem with that, do you? I'm still the same girl you've been talking to."
"Oh, nah, that's...that's fine. Umm, where uh...where's his dad, if you don't mind my asking?"
"I don't mind, I figured we'd have to have this conversation sooner or later." Sooner was now, and with Jeezus and Mohammed as my witnesses, I can tell you I was vastly underprepared for what she had to share with me.
"See, when I was 7, my uncle started molesting me. Every time they sent me over to his house, he would do it and I didn't know any better. My mom and dad never said anything. Well, my dad wasn't around much, but my mom was usually too tripped up to notice. My uncle moved away when I was 9, so that stopped, but then I got raped by this Ecuadorian guy when I was 12 and this Dominican guy when I was 13. I got pregnant by that guy, but I got an abortion."
I kept thinking "Maya Angelou" during all this.
"None of my friends cared, probably because they'd been raped too. And my mom still didn't provide much comfort, so I got pregnant on purpose when I was 14 so I could have someone to give me some love. The kid's dad is at Ryker's for 10 more years, but it doesn't matter. I was the only one that wanted it. I mean, he writes every now and then to check up on Tré, but that's about it."
Just in case some readers aren't sure, Ryker's Island is a prison facility in NYC.
"But as soon as I had the kid, I got depressed and I wanted him to go away. I wanted to kill myself. So my sister took custody of Tré and I see him when I get the chance."
If I was in my right mind, I would have jumped out her 6th story window to get to my car. But I was horny. Stupidly horny.
So we went to dinner that night and started making out before she could unlock her apartment door. We both stripped off our clothes and I hopped into bed, ready for action. She went into the bathroom to "freshen up." I didn't know what that meant, but I didn't care. I was horny. I grabbed a condom from my pants on the floor and waited for her to come back in. I saw her throw away a plastic tube into the garbage. I was still horny, but curious.
"What was that you threw out?"
"Oh, that was just some spermicide from the clinic."
"Ah. Umm, a little paranoid, are we?"
"Come on, if you were a woman, you'd do the same thing."
"I guess so. But there's already spermicide on the condoms I bought--isn't that a bit overkill?"
"Condoms? What the fuck do you wanna use a condom for?"
I was at a complete loss for words, except for, "What?"
"I mean, whatever, I don't mind. But you ain't gonna feel a fuckin' thing with a condom."
"Oh. Um...okay..."
I was still horny, but now slightly wary of this woman. Even as our tongues rolled around together, everything I knew about her was starting to add up. As she threw me on my back and prepared to saddle up on my waning erection, the math became more and more concrete:
Subsidized housing + deadbeat dad + druggie mom + fucked up sexual history + intentional pregnancy at 14 + countless assumed unprotected sexual relations before myself as the result of a poor upbringing = HOLY FUCKING SHIT AM I FUCKING RETARDED???
"I GOTTA GO!"
"What?! What the fuck? Where are you going? What the hell are you doing??"
I didn't utter another word as I threw on my pants, sneakers and jacket. I carried my shirt, underwear, socks and wallet with me as I ran out of there. I vaguely remember getting some dirty looks from some black dudes in the hall as I ran past them. I also remember Angie yelling out something about being okay with using a condom. No way. It was then that I realized that it would have been horrible losing my virginity to this ghetto chick. I had more pride in myself than that, no matter how horny I was.
I saved my virginity for an 18-year-old Dominican slut.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-08 19:35:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
niggalicious!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-03 09:05:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-12-02 15:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Got smart at the last minute at least!
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-11-23 09:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you learned your lesson.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-23 05:38:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really disturbed by the picture.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-23 04:59:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've been in great form lately. This is another gem.
Submitted by El_Jeffe (user info) at 2005-11-22 21:24:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm dating a black chick in the projects right now, who is, actually, five years older than me--but the resemblance between your's and mine ends there. This chick sounds exactly, fucking exactly, like her older sister. It kicked three kinds of ass--idiot, horny, and ghetto.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2005-11-22 21:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AWESOME
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-22 21:12:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-11-22 20:38:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean, if I was offered a slave, I'd say no. ""
family guy!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-11-22 21:10:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-11-22 20:55:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've counted 6 boys in that picture. How many did you get?
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Not one!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-11-22 20:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've counted 6 boys in that picture. How many did you get?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 20:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-11-22 18:12:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-11-22 16:55:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just think, you were going to eat her pussy. God damn.
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i'm sure he'd rather not think about it.
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You know, I never pondered that angle before. I was about to have dinner right now, thanks. Thanks a lot. :::vomits:::
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-11-22 20:38:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean, if I was offered a slave, I'd say no.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-11-22 18:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-11-22 16:55:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just think, you were going to eat her pussy. God damn.
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i'm sure he'd rather not think about it.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:57:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:49:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:19:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well told.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:48:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My experience dating a black chick...
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Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-11-22 16:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just think, you were going to eat her pussy. God damn.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2005-11-22 16:37:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-22 15:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
white boys make fine meal tickets
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 15:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sl4tt3ry: I'm sorry. I've experienced that a few times myself.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 15:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MyTee: I went the lazy route and just googled "ghetto" and chose this pic. I named it "Not Quite" because, well...they're not quite the level of "ghetto" that I experienced.
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-11-22 15:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this post, but I'm pissed now
I've been working on my 'black girl' experience for like 2 days
and this just blew it out of the water
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-22 15:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok ryufu, i emailed you.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-11-22 15:07:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well told and well played. You have to be careful of ass herpes.
Please explain the picture?
Submitted by windowsrcold (user info) at 2005-11-22 15:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was a funny ass story. I'm sure it probably wasn't at the time but hey, everyone has to have a ghetto ass experience some point right. Just some more than others.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 15:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy crap, that is too funny. I have a crapload more school-related questions I'd like to ask rather than doing my actual work, but I don't wanna bore the other Uberfolk. Could you e-mail me at jon.at.thestops.com? I promise I have a 100% No Stalking Policy.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:46:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm...I don't want to list names, just to protect the innocent, but I'll bet my life savings you're familiar with a Bonnie. Last name, "Q."
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i used to be friends with her, like in 2nd grade or something.
i distinctly remember playing some dress up and rockin out to some billy idol with her as a matter of fact.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap that was a great story!
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:46:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm...I don't want to list names, just to protect the innocent, but I'll bet my life savings you're familiar with a Bonnie. Last name, "Q."
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:42:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:39:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ohhh, you're one of THOSE kids. I remember seeing the Pocantico students touring the school every year. I might have seen you at some point, since I graduated in 2000.
North Tarrytown actually changed its name to Sleepy Hollow, so they are one in the same now.
Go Westchester WOO! Right.
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great post by the way... yup, i was one of "those" kids. :) i probably know a bunch of kids you went to school with.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:39:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ohhh, you're one of THOSE kids. I remember seeing the Pocantico students touring the school every year. I might have seen you at some point, since I graduated in 2000.
North Tarrytown actually changed its name to Sleepy Hollow, so they are one in the same now.
Go Westchester WOO! Right.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:23:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
leilani: Which school? What year?
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for elementary i went to pocantico hills in north tarrytown (which i think is part of sleepy hollow now)
then HS i went to pleasantville, graduated 1999.
it was weird, i didn't live in any one district so you had to choose between briarcliff, sleepy hollow and p-ville.
sleepy hollow was fun though.... we went to their parties and stuff.... is that where you went to schooL?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha!
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-22 14:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
leilani: Which school? What year?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i respect your decision. way not to get AIDS.
but you know what i think of 'ghetto' as an adjective:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71957
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:59:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:19:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well told.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that a GIS for hoochiefest?
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mine was just crazy.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:38:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have jammed her.
I would have used the condom, but I would have jammed her.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:37:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because i went to school in Sleepy hollow
ok now i will read it
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You my baby daddy? YOU my baby daddy?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:20:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This guy was dating black chick and didn't even know it...
for fuck sake...
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=10875
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This guy was dating black chick and didn't even know it...
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:19:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well told.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-11-22 13:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
posh.