Igneous Fall (1390 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Necro
Rating: 1.75 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2005-11-22 16:42:05 EST
"Mr. Kane."
Her voice is like the best parts of springtime in my ear, and it catches me off guard. She sounds fresh, her tone is innocent, but she ain't. No, I can tell by the way this Dame is dressed that innocence took a dirt-nap some time ago. It was killed in a bad way, and something smoldering took its place behind those bright green eyes. There's promise in them, but it's made of poison and grime.
I should tell her to screw off. I should tell her to dangle, but that red dress is fitting her like the devil licked it on, and I don't think I've ever seen redder lips. So I watch her through the haze of smoke rising from the cigarette in my hand; see her glide towards me - all sex and menace - and I'm thinking how much my job is the nines sometimes.
"Mr Kane. My name is Delilah Baines and I need your help."
There's a glorious mess of golden curl growing out of her head. It's long and intricate and the way it caresses the spot where her shoulders meet her neck makes me ache a little, but then I remember myself, and what I do. I remember that there's at least two people that want me dead and that my bones still ache from their last attempt, so I take a drag, and lean back. I'm gonna play it cool and let her say what she came here to say. I'm gonna let her slip sweet lies out of those full lips, cuz friend, I been in enough dark places to know that a mouth like that wasn't built for anything else. She's come here to seduce me, or kill me, or both, and I'm gonna play along, because sometimes flirting with hell is the only way to stay on this side of it, and if this is the last face I see before I skip town, so be it.
"I'm listening."
She slinks into the seat on the other side of my desk, and the rest of my office blurs as if her very presence is enough to make the chipped paint and scuffed floor melt around her, like wax around a flame.
I offer her a smoke and she declines with a sublte shake of her head. Her hands are held firmly in her lap, and I'm thinking maybe she said no because a shaking hand speaks volumes. Whatever the reason, she's good but she ain't no pro. She's got the looks, and the moves, and those spotlight eyes, but she's sitting stiff and her cheeks are flushed. She's scared and maybe a bit uncertain, and I know just how to play a Doll like her.
I butt out my cig then light another, take a long drag and exhale a thick cloud of blue smoke into the light coming from the solitary bulb hanging above my desk, partially to obscure that face, and partially to put the skids under the growing pressure in my trousers.
She smiles sweet then speaks again.
"Do you have a first name Mr. Kane?"
"No."
"Come now, everyone has a first name."
"Mine is for my friends."
"How many of those do you have I wonder?"
"None."
"I could be your friend."
She straightens her back and adjusts her position, ever so slightly, as if the touch of the rich, dully glowing cloth on her skin is too much, and she would prefer it were lying on the floor. The dress is pulled tight against the generous rise of her full breasts and I can tell from the clear outline of her rising nipples that she ain't wearing anything underneath. They're perfect enough to make my mouth water and for a second I forget that I have my hand on the grip of the sawed-off hanging beneath my desk. For a second my head is full of nothing but her naked skin and long curves, but a second is all I'm gonna give her. Something in my head is telling me she's too perfect; that there's more at play here than lipstick and silk, so I glance to the door-jam then the picture hanging beside it, but the wood is the same dusty old brown and the old man is still smiling.
"Listen Sister, gimme the skinny or dangle. I got a flight to catch."
She glances from me to the suitcases on the floor, then scans the room for the first time. She sweeps those spotlights over the bare floor, and the box on my desk, and I think I can make out a tremble in her pouty bottom lip.
The chair lets out a high-pitched creak when she stands, as if it's begging her to fill it again, and then she's leaning over my desk to take a cig from the pack. She's leaning over low enough for the top of her dress to open up. Low enough for me to see where the ivory white of her breasts meets the caramel top of her nipples, and then she's standing and I'm standing too, and the match in my hand is sparking bright red fireworks in her watering eyes.
"You aren't going anywhere," she whispers and then leans close, lips parted, and for a second I almost give in, but I know better. This Dame is trouble like the Hindenburg was death and she's not alone. She didn't bring a bag in and she's not wearing a coat over that second skin falling from her shoulders. A doll like this doesn't travel without her lipstick and it's cold outside. My office is on the wrong side of town. Someone drove her here. Someone's waiting outside in the car, or out in the hall and I'm thinking Martini must have upped the price on my head for someone to shell out the money for a high priced hit like this, so I stand straight, take a step back, and give her a smile that says she'll see the back of my hand.
She smiles back sadly and I don't like it. She's moving slowly; gliding around the corner of the desk behind me and the old man in the painting's smile has turned to a frown so I pull my rod from my shoulder holster and push it against her chest.
"Stop it right now, or I'll blow you in half."
Everything in me is telling me to pull the trigger. She's working a spell and its shooting through me like gin through a bum and soon I'll be helpless, but then the dress falls to the floor, and brother it wasn't lying. She's standing before me in all her glory and she's got one hand on my gun.
"If you're going to shoot me Mr. Kane, aim where it counts."
She pushes the barrel down between her breasts, past her navel, across the barely perceptible swell of her smooth belly, until it is pushing against the down covered flesh between her thighs. She gasps at its coldness then pulls it up to her lips, and the old man's frown turns to a wide mouthed scream, as she licks the moisture from it.
She's got me. Her magic is stronger than anything I've ever felt. I'm a puppet and I hate it but I'm grateful too. I'm thinking that there must be a God in heaven after all, for a mug like me to go out like this, and then her lips are on mine and filling my mouth with the taste of pussy and wine.
Our lips part and she breathes a question hot in my ear and I answer despite myself.
"Igneous. My first name is Igneous."
She smiles and I blink, and then I'm sitting on the desk and she's sliding me in. She's got her legs wrapped around my back and she's riding me and growling like an animal at the ceiling, as the walls bleed and the bulb above us shatters, cloaking the room in eerie yellow glow from the streetlamp outside. Razor sharp nails rip deep into my back, and then tear grooves in it, and I should yell my pain back at her, or plug her, but all I can feel is her breath on my neck and all I want is to die in her impossible tightness.
I'm insane with the smell of her, I'm crazy for her wet places, but there's something else too. There's another scent on the air, one I haven't smelled since the war, and it takes me a second before my fevered mind recognizes it for burning flesh, and then the sizzling grooves in my back burst into flame as I somehow find the strength to throw the seductress off me. She hits the floor hard and I take a step towards her, then hit it harder, and when I look up she's standing there and crying and my gun is in her hand.
"I did it for you." She keens as she pushed the barrel to her chest, a little under her left breast. "I did it for..."
Her sentence is cut short by a thump on the door and I glance dazedly over in time to notice that the runes carved into the jam are smoking.
The door flies open with a smash and two dead men in long coats and fedoras make their way through, and then she screams a word that I don't understand, the pistol bucks in her hands, and the dusty floor rushes up to meet me as I leave the world for a time.
It's not the pain that brings me back from nowhere. It's not the scream echoing in my ears or that acrid smell lingering in the room. It's a rough hand in my hair and a shot of gin being poured down my throat that pulls me back, and when I open my eyes Atraius Pitt is there. His rugged face is scowling down at me and he's mouthing a question that my ringing ears can barely make out.
"What does it mean you stupid Mug?"
I cough and moan and try to make out the expression on his face, but my eyes go all screwy all I can see is a pink blur between the blue of his uniform and hat.
"What?... what mean?"
"That word you keep moaning."
"What word."
He pours another shot down my throat then gives me a shake and I'm wishing I was in better shape cuz - Honest Bull or not - I don't let anyone handle me that way, but then he says it and memories of the woman's scream drag me back into the abyss.
"Necrosiac."
User Reviews
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-09-15 15:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-08 12:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm impressed by your ability to use the cliché without becoming it.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2006-08-11 18:40:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Charred and I are your biggest fans. :)
Submitted by Charred (user info) at 2006-08-11 07:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-02-25 13:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-01-24 21:22:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have some catching up to do.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-17 19:09:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-27 22:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I should have read this one first.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fair enough.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:14:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I liked your stuff as much as everyone else but sadly, I suppose, for me, i just don't.
I just enjoy different material, I reckon.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caes,
Dude if anyone were to really apreciate Necro it would be you.
If you do check it out... keep in mind that "The Death of Mattaius Pitt" and the following chapter's are the first real attempts at fiction I'd made in about 15 years.
I'm a rookie and still learning.
If you can stick with it though, I think the story will really pay off for you.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sin City Style is Film Noire.
It's nothing new and I'm not ripping it off.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-11-30 20:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sin City style.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 20:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhhh, this is just what I needed to knock my ego down about three dozen pegs after reading all the nice things people have been saying about my ATP thing. YOU, good sir, are an amazing writer. The imagery you deliver is fucking top-notch (e.g. a mouth like that can't be built for anything else, a dress the devil licked on, etc).
My only critique is that you went overboard with the descriptive imagery. You basically made the same point about three or four times: the girl is hot and dangerous. The guy is tough and clever. It started to get a little overdone in my eyes.
But the imagery was so good, I really didn't mind too much.
Hey, am I gonna have to read your Necrosiac series now? Because that's not fair, jerk-face.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-29 16:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
felt a little....well, like you were just playing ball at first but your imagery always makes up for any short-comings I see.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-11-28 19:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fire vignette! + + +
Damned if I didn't get a little wet.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-11-25 16:22:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-11-24 10:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you for consistiently kicking so much ass.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-23 18:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those are good points.
Thanks a ton for the input. I really apreciate it.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-11-23 18:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well that would be a bit extreme.
generous and full both tell us the same thing, so you could lose one of those.
clear outline and rising nipples could also just be outline and nipples.
anyway, that was just what occured to me as i read it the first time.
when i read a sentence a few times, i find a strage process happens and the sentence, just because of the repitition, starts to take on some kind of 'rightness' in my mind, it sets like concrete, and it then becomes very hard to change it. i suspect the first impression is often right though.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-23 18:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Without it, don't you end up with: "The dress is pulled tight against her tits?"
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-11-23 18:03:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The dress is pulled tight against the generous rise of her full breasts and I can tell from the clear outline of her rising nipples
try to avoid patterns of adjective/noun like this, too many unnecessary adjectives here
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-11-23 09:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're the best writer here.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-11-22 23:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice job Snark. Damn nice.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-11-22 23:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-11-22 21:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The imagery you used was just amazing. The bit about the dress looking like the devil licked it on was very cool.
Necrosiac is the best series I have ever read on Uber (although After the Pandemic definately is up there as well). Necrosiac in the 1930's sounds very interesting.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-11-22 19:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never knew a woman shooting herself in the boob could be soooo sexy.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-11-22 19:05:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done... might want to watch a couple of those run-on sentences, but all in all, still too good for this site.
Lots of potential here.
Submitted by punkerrjess (user info) at 2005-11-22 19:03:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-22 18:46:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh HELLS yes, brotha.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-22 18:07:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anytime I see a +2 from Bickerstaff, I walk away from the story with my head held high.
Ima stop camping now.
They've really cracked down here at work.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:51:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your style of writing as i dont have to think about what ive just read, its easy to see it in my minds eye. Nice job man.
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:45:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:35:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
===========
Holy Shit!
Is that really you?
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saffron (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...that red dress is fitting her like the devil licked it on
This piece is sprinkled with some very nice imagery, but this one is my fav. Delicious and naughty.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks GC,
Hope things work out for you.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-11-22 17:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, it wins anyhow Snark. Just watch a couple Dick Tracy / Who framed Roger Rabbit flicks and you should be set.
I've been unable to write here for some time, life events have impacted me severely enough that I no longer feel comfortable outing myself on here, but I still enjoy reading your stuff.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-22 16:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It took me a minute to catch onto the mileau, but then the lightbulb clicked on, and I got it.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-22 16:44:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is cliche'd as hell, but the point here is to play with style and genre.
I want to experiment with Film-Noir / Erotica and I might as well do it here because this story is going to become way too perverse for anything mainstream.
It is set in the world of Necrosiac. Sometime in the 1930's.
I have no idea how many installments there will be.