Birds (375 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spacey (View user info) at 2005-11-23 09:51:03 EST
I don't know what is wrong with today, its been a little bit odd from the start. Birds keep killing themselves in front of me and I don't know why.
I was driving to work this morning along a country lane with tall hedges on both sides, the roads are icy this time of year so I wasn't going very fast. All of a sudden a sparrow dive bombed from the top of the hedge and flew straight into my windscreen, exactly at my eye level. He left a little smear of sparrow juice. I checked my mirrors just in time to see his feathery little carcass slam into the road in front of the car behind me. I almost couldn't look, but I did, and it was disgusting.
I park my car at my parents house and then walk to work so I don't have to pay for a parking space. As I was wondering into town I saw a bunch of seagulls swooping at something in the road. I kept an eye on them (just in case they were really hungry and wanted to eat me)they were just swooping and making that god awful screaming noise. A bus was hurtling towards them, and as much as I wish that I didn't think it, the evil voice in my head said "Wouldn't it be funny if that huge dirty great bus took out one of the seagulls?" It wasn't funny, it was a double decker packed with school kids and it flew into the front window of the top level, and then landed about three feet away from me. I hurried away, thankful that I wasn't three feet in front.
I arrived at work and everything seemed normal, until about an hour ago, when I saw a pigeon in the middle of the road getting squished by a 4x4. Is it me? Am I making birds kill themselves? Will it just stop with birds?
I'm a little worried, when I walk home from the pub in the evenings I normally see a heron by the river (I tried to catch him once when I was drunk, but I got about 4 meters away and realised just how huge and scary they are). What if I make eye contact and he swoops in front of a little old lady at the wheel? That's gonna make a mess. Does all this make me a murderer?
User Reviews
Submitted by ikillclowns (user info) at 2006-02-04 05:42:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-23 11:43:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd have given you a plus 2 if only you'd given a thorough desription of what happened when one of the birds was killed.
Feathers flying, the sound, the blood.
Muahahahahaha!
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-11-23 10:55:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-23 10:13:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
Do a lot of drugs there, pal?
You seem a little too paranoid about this.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-11-23 10:30:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haven't you seen the movie "The Birds"? We need to kill them before they try and kill us. Keep up the good work! Next time use the direct method though, a shotgun.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-11-23 10:13:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Do a lot of drugs there, pal?
You seem a little too paranoid about this.